I was supposed to be at Goodwood, but had to return early for medical reasons of the stupid variety. I’m basically fine now and everything is okay, and even though my Goodwood experience was cut off before it began, frustratingly, I’m still pretty sure I’m having a better Goodwood experience than whoever was driving Lotus’ $2.3 million all-electric Lotus Evija X hypercar and crashed it almost immediately off the start line at the Goodwood Hill Climb, like a Charger losing control exiting a Dayton-area Cars & Coffee. Ugh.
The Evija X is no joke, with about 2,000 horsepower from four motors, one powering each wheel via, shockingly, a standard bicycle chain (just kidding, that bit about the bike chain is very much Not True). It’s a track-only car, and just recently set the Nürburgring’s third-fastest lap time of 6:24, after the Volkswagen ID.R (6:05) and the Porsche 919 Evo (5:19). Lotus likes to remind us that the Evija X has a production-car chassis, which would make it the fastest lap time for something based on a production car.
All of this is just to say that the car is an absolute beast, and the very fact that it can ever be wrestled into going in the direction a frail, juicy human wants it to go is nothing short of incredible.
Yesterday, though, that didn’t really happen. This is what happened:
Lotus instantly crashed their $2.3 million Evija X Prototype at the start line during the Goodwood Festival Of Speed
EV torque for you ???? pic.twitter.com/k0CQtVkfvQ
— Nic Cruz Patane (@niccruzpatane) July 11, 2024
Oh crap. Right at the start line! Oh, I can feel the pain there! It looks like everything went wrong pretty much immediately, with tons of tire smoke suggesting none of those wheels were getting any sort of grip at all, until maybe one did, just enough to launch the car into the haybales.
Here’s another view of the incredibly short lap:
Now the good news is that this really doesn’t seem to be the fault of the driver, but more of a software issue, where the motor control software was not able to keep up with the intense, multi-wheel burnout. This seems to be at least partially confirmed by a statement from Lotus given to Road and Track:
“The Evija X took part in a hill run at Goodwood Festival of Speed on Thursday, 11th July, where it was involved in an incident at the start line. Following a formal evaluation by both Goodwood and Lotus, asymmetric grip caused by overcorrection during rapid acceleration at the start line was determined to be the cause. Driver was unharmed in the incident and there was minimal damage to the car.”
Hmm, okay, maybe not that confirmed. Lotus seems to be blaming an “overcorrection” which I guess lays this at the poor driver’s feet. Though, really, I suspect that both human and machine had at least roughly equal roles in this fiasco.
I can’t help but wonder what I’d be thinking were it me in that remarkable and wild Lotus, my mind still reeling from the clash of the initial pre-start adrenalin and self-pep-talking and the near-immediate reality that I’d just pranged the car horribly into a big cube of hay. What would I do, confronted with such a rapid and colossal fuck-up, my fault or otherwise? He’re a few ideas that popped into my sympathetically-panicked mind:
1. Hide
Yes, hide. Take advantage of all that smoke, get that five-point harness off and try to cram myself behind the seat or something like that. When they open up the car, and they don’t see me there, maybe they’ll just assume they forgot to put me in there in the first place? Seems worth a try.
2. I Meant To Do That
This is a classic, and either never fails or never works; I can’t quite recall which one here, but I’m just about positive it’s one of these results. Confidence is key here, and a certain feigned confusion that you really have to sell: “I’m sorry, isn’t that what we wanted to do? A quick hay bale crash test, right at the start? That’s what we said, right? And it went great! Why’s everyone acting so weird?”
Even better, I could have a specific thing in mind I was “testing,” like I come out saying “hay bale attraction system test is a complete success! The system works! It works, people, it works!”
3. Play Dead
Look, it works for possums, it should work for racing drivers, too. Just go limp and when they toss me onto the pile of stuff they need to deal with later, I wait for darkness and sneak away to start a new life under an assumed name, maybe something like Tony deLaser or Randy Bumblenuts.
4. Get Out of Car While the Air Is Still Full of Smoke, Mix Into Crowd, Act As Surprised As Anyone
The key here is to ditch the helmet, and get in a position where you can be seen looking at all the carnage nice and confused, saying things like “wow” and “holy shit” and “I hope everyone is okay!” [Ed note: Like so!]
5. Pretend Like A Portal Opened And I’m From A Parallel Universe
This one requires that a critical mass of people around me subscribe to some sort of quantum multiverse theory, but thanks to the popularity this concept has had in mass media and entertainment, I bet that should be a reasonably safe bet. I’ll just claim that the incredible power created by the Evija X under full acceleration was enough to open a rift in the fabric of spacetime, and it swapped me, Torch from an alternate universe where Lotus was the largest, most successful carmaker but Goodwood happens in, um, Lansing, Michigan, for the Torch that was supposed to be driving this car, and, well, everything went to shit from there. This one requires making up a lot of flattering lies about alternate-universe Lotus to answer questions I’ll invariably get asked, but I think I can do that.
Also, in the universe I say I came from, Hanomag is still a major player in the automotive space, and they now own the rights to the Mustang.
6. Just Pee In the Seat, Generously and, Yes, Lavishly
I mean, I may as well, everything else has gone absolutely to hell as it is, right? No reason not to just really let go and absolutely flood that crumpled interior with my redolent post-fuck-up-pee.
7. Come Out Blaming Someone Specific
For this to work, I think I’d need a very specific scapegoat. Ideally, someone who has it coming, but if not, maybe some summer intern with rich parents who’ll land on his feet no matter what? I’d have to come out screaming the name of my targeted chump, and ideally have some sort of vague explanation about what happened. Something like “Dammit, Kyle, what did I tell you about messing with the throttle return spring!” or “What the fuck, Cassie, you spilled kombucha all over the pedals?” Something like that.
8. Feign Amnesia
Yep, just like getting hit on the head with a cartoon mallet. Open that door, loudly ask “where am I?” and then just play dumb until all the shit blows over! Easy!
9. Blame It On The Car Being Too Woke/Too MAGA
The key here is being able to read the crowd; which one will get me more sympathy? This may be tricky to pull off in the heat of the moment, so it may just come down to a gut-level crapshoot. Either way, I’m going to have about half the crowd against me and half willing to defend me, without the burden of evidence, which is what I’ll need.
10. Ask For A Do-Over
The trick here is to immediately exit the car screaming “Hold up, hold up, that didn’t count, I get a do-over” and then desperately try and shove the wrecked car back into place, likely ineffectually, until security drags me off, screaming and sobbing. The key here is I kept my dignity.
Hammond! You imbecile!
For #6 to work in a fire suit you’ll need more than just a “generous” amount of urine. Like wearing a hot, sweaty quilt in the best of conditions.
“I done F’ed up.” Too on point?
If that bicycle joke was true, this crash would surely have been caused by a chain reaction.
Great to hear you’re OK! Now why haven’t we heard from Adrian whilst invaders are a foot?
I’d have gone for: “you put the success ballast on the right? Thats the side I sit on, no wonder it won’t go straight”
Item 9 should be “goddammit Brexit!”
We ain’t in Amurica anymore.
I can confirm that Randy Bumblenuts is already taken
Software by Lucas
Bottled smoke.
Torch, I’m so glad you’re okay. I can’t think of anyone else that would put together such a comprehensive, well-researched list of entirely sensible reactions to crashing a $2.3 million superhypercar within one Mississippi of pressing the go pedal.
^This^
“It’s a track-only car, and just recently set the Nürburgring’s third-fastest lap time of 6:24, after the Volkswagen ID.R (6:05) and the Porsche 919 Evo (5:19).”
I think there’s a minor typo here: I expect the Porsche time should read 6:19
As for the incident, I learned a long time ago if I eat it to stay down a few extra moments to let laughter turn to concern.
I could very honestly say, “Oh I am NOT okay” after doing something like that.
I’m glad the driver is okay, because that crash is HILARIOUS.
(with that in mind)
11. Blame it on the pelican/1.5psi
Or blame your girl for turning when pushing it into the back of a Uhaul
really glad that you are doing well now.
but as to the “overcorrection” explanation, I don’t think it was the driver, but still was the software overcorrecting. from what the video can see of the wheels, it looks like it had even suddenly started reversing full throttle on at least one wheel at the end.
racecar driver or not, I find it hard to imagine that they managed to shift it to reverse like that?
The “overcorrection” could be a software issue.
Maybe it dropped power to a certain wheel too far while trying to correct for the wheelspin or something.
That would be my excuse, blame the car.
It’s almost 4,000 lbs. Why am I not surprised it got stuffed into a wall? It’s too heavy to get out of its own way!
This overly-complex and ornate pig is what passes for the mantra of “simplify and add lightness” these days. Colin Chapman would be rolling in his grave.
Where’s our svelt, streamlined, sub-2,000 lb EV with 400+ horsepower, a tiny 25-30 kWh battery, that has half the drag of a classic 1st gen Elite, and gets 200+ miles range in normal driving as a result? Because THAT is the sort of EV Lotus could and should be building.
Well, that’s the issue, it was simplify and add lightness. Except, they removed EVERYTHING, connected the throttle directly to the rear wheels with NO control software or anything, JUST THE WIRE, added a 3000lb battery, and expected the “professional” behind the wheel to just…. figure it out.
Damnit, Torch was gonna grab that wire for the Changli. You win this time, infections and Lotus!
Proprietary and encrypted software/tools that lock out indie mechanics coupled with a massive battery pack weighing the better part of a ton in a car that has the road footprint and frontal area of an SUV is neither simple nor light.
There’s no reason, excepting the control/charger/BMS electronics, that an EV can’t be mostly analogue and bestowed with 1950s era complexity. A diminutive, slippery, and agile streamliner harking back to the days of the 1st gen Elite, Europa, or 11, except with modern CFD analysis and an actual emphasis of streamlining over brand zeitgeist behind it, could keep battery pack size, mass, and cost down to get acceptable range.
This Evija is a bloatware vehicle that runs 100% counter to Lotus’ mission statement. It’s an Eletre in drag, pretending to be a “sports car”.
There is no valid reason a Lotus sports car, even an EV with a relatively heavy battery and 200+ miles range at 70 mph, should ever weigh over 2,000 lbs.
Does anyone here remember the Zytek Lotus Elise? 80-120 miles range on batteries 1/4 as dense as those available today, all the way back in 1998, AND it weighed 2,000 lbs.
A quarter century later with batteries 4-5x as energy dense, coupled with the opportunity to start with a blank slate and make a more efficient vehicle than the aerodynamically inefficient Elise by far, and Lotus can’t do better than that?
If Lotus built a sub-2,000 lb EV with a 30 kWh pack of Panasonic 21700s(the total pack weighing around 300 lbs including housing, BMS, and thermal management) and the aero slipperiness of an Opel Eco Speedster, it would easily get a 200+ mile range at 70+ mph on the highway.
100% would daily an Opel Eco Speedster.
94 mpg with a top speed of 160 mph. 1.2L CDTI engine making 112 horsepower. Depending on source, 0-60 mph in either 8.9 seconds or 5.4 seconds. Can’t go wrong. Too bad GM didn’t let it get produced.
A modern equivalent would be Casey Putsch’s Omega:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FbtpJzGPS8
104 mpg, and 0-60 mph in 4.6 seconds, on a 1.9L TDI engine. IMO, it would be even better as an EV.
The entirety of the legacy auto industry not only isn’t even trying, they’re outright hostile to the concept. The more resources you consume, the more money the billionaires extract from you, and simple high performance vehicles with disruptive paradigm-breaking efficiency, of high-quality construction, with an inexpensive price tag all runs counter to that.
Time to let the Chinese in to disrupt some shit.
Literally my only issue with anything you ever say is safety. Airbags and crumple zone weigh a lot. How much weight do they add, though?
A few hundred pounds for a small car.
Considering a modern Miata weighs in at 2,300 lbs, safety features add not an amount of weight that makes an even slightly smaller vehicle a non-starter. And the modern Miata isn’t exactly tiny or cramped by the standards of the 1990s. A narrower and lower car with less frontal area, but more headroom and legroom than the Miata, may prove more comfortable for most people around the world than the anti-tall-people Miata we have. The issue then remaining is that it won’t fit either the standard overweight American land whale Boobus Americanus or the subspecies Boobus Americanus Ghettopotamus all too well. But while the Miata was designed to fit them, judging by its GVWR, only just barely so, but if you’re tall, lightweight, and skinny, you still don’t fit in a Miata.
The even lighter Mitsubishi Mirage, weighing in at 2,100 lbs, also passed U.S. safety standards, and is a lot less starved for passenger space or cargo room than an MX5.
A car with the Miata’s mass and an emphasis on drag reduction to where aero drag was 1/3 to 1/2 that of the Miata would have a very similar overall platform efficiency to the two highly efficient cars in my post above. Fuel economy in the city under stop and go will probably be about half that of what it is on the highway. But do keep in mind the above two 100-ish mpg vehicles were diesels and that was highway economy, so that still means 40-50 mpg city is in the range of expectation, when the Miata is getting around 26 mpg city.
So a sports car car or sport compact that would pass U.S, safety standards, weigh around 2,000 lbs, gets 45-ish mpg city and 100-ish mpg highway, while being able to do 0-60 mph around 4 seconds, is very possible. Same with an EV version of the idea, getting 200 miles highway range. Neither of which would cost a whole lot of money to build, but would create an entirely new niche that would cannibalize sales from more bloated/expensive/slower offerings pushed to substitute for that niche.
But then the issue for the automakers is why would someone buy a 2-ton Nissan Z or Corvette for $70k if a $30k car with 3x the fuel economy and similar or even faster performance is available, which also has greatly reduced operating and maintenance costs?
Good to see that you’re virtually up and around, and a temperature of 102° F (something-something° Celery) would have given you the perfect excuse to spin out and plow into a wall. Keep that arrow in your quiver until you need it.
#11. The Ricky Bobby defense
“Now the good news is that this really doesn’t seem to be the fault of the driver, but more of a software issue, where the motor control software was not able to keep up with the intense, multi-wheel burnout.”
I’d go with that too…
“Followed by suboptimal imposition of one or more agricultural geometric objects, causing rapid and unscheduled disassembly of the front end.
The disassembly reduced the number of components in the car and allowed some weight reduction, maintaining a strong connection to Lotus’ racing history.”
A different kind of spin……
Happy to know you’re OK, Jason.
Anyone know who the driver was? It’s a not a Sunday drive, that hill climb, least of all in a car like that. Are Lotus keeping that info private for their sake or the driver’s? Likely both.
Love the idea of mixing with the crowd and acting surprised, LOL.
Jason, STOP WRITING and go to bed!!!
MOM?
This is top-notch euphemism-ing.
I read that in Geordi LaForge’s voice.
He Patrick George’d it!
Only the real OG’s remember… 😉
Poor Camaro.
A Camaro put him into the slammer, so… revenge served?
Complicate and add weight. Is Lotus getting marching orders from the Germans now?
Yikes! Marching orders from the Germans never end well. Nor should such orders be blindly followed…