Good morning, and happy Friday! This week’s winners didn’t really lend themselves to a runoff vote, so we’re looking at two new contestants. Today’s Shitbox Showdown comes to you from a very specific part of the country, and I’ll explain why in a minute.
Yesterday’s silly off-roaders brought out the little kid in a lot of you, and I was glad to see it. I mean, “dune buggy” and “monster truck” are both just such joyous terms that you can’t help but smile when you think about them, even if the actual vehicles don’t measure up to your imagination.
But there always has to be a winner, and yesterday it was no contest: the Baja Bug ran away with it. And I have to agree. The truck would be an extremely entertaining way to waste a bunch of gasoline in an afternoon, but I don’t want to own, or park, the damn thing.
Now then: For family reasons I won’t get into here, Shitbox Showdown’s international offices will be pulling up stakes this summer and moving across the country, likely to somewhere in the great state of Maryland. Don’t worry, though; you’ll still get the same high-quality shitboxes you’ve become accustomed to, delivered fresh to your browser each morning. Since I’ve featured so many vehicles from here in Portland, I thought it would be fun to see what I could find in what will be my new stomping ground.
The answer: Not a whole hell of a lot. Clearly, cheap and interesting cars aren’t going to just fall from the sky there like they do here (that’s why Portland has so many potholes, FYI). I’ll be looking elsewhere a lot of the time, I think. These two did catch my eye, but please remember when you look at them that the standard we strive for here is compelling cars to write and read about, not necessarily good cars – or good bargains. Here they are.
1970 Pontiac Catalina wagon – $4,200
Engine/drivetrain: 400 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Stevensville, MD
Odometer reading: 45,000 miles
Operational status: Technically runs and drives, but I wouldn’t advise it
Here we have a car for sale on an island, that’s named after a different island, and is damn near as big as some islands. Downsizing wasn’t a thing yet in 1970, and cars like GM’s massive B-body station wagons were the kings of the road. It’s long, wide, heavy, and has absolutely massive presence, even in this diminished condition. Pontiac’s Catalina takes its name, ironically, from a place you can’t really drive cars at all. Or maybe a salad dressing. Or is the salad dressing named after the car? Anyway, it’s big, and it has a cool name.
This was still back when GM’s divisions all used their own engines, rather the one-size-fits-all “corporate” engines we’ve grown accustomed to seeing since the late ’70s. This is, therefore, a Pontiac 400 V8, equipped with a two-barrel Rochester carburetor, putting out 290 horsepower by the old SAE gross measurement, meaning without any accessories attached, just the bare engine. It has had the carb rebuilt, and runs just fine, though the seller notes that it hasn’t been started in a few months. It also has a rebuilt Turbo 400 transmission, so no worries there. However, the fuel tank is rusted out, and this gigantic engine is currently being fed by a red plastic gas can under the hood – not a long-term viable, or safe, method. A new fuel tank is included, along with mounting straps.
This big green wagon has quite a colorful past: It sat in some water (no one is saying how much) through a hurricane, was scrapped, then rescued from the junkyard by a mechanic who got it running and driving again, and sold it to the current owner, who clearly is in over their head a little bit. It needs some rust repair underneath, including frame repair.
The interior worries me some. Without knowing how deep the water was it sat in, we can’t know how wet it got in there, if at all. And this is the only photo we get of the inside – not much to go on. Between the rust and the unknowns, I think this might make a better parts car than anything, but the market would be pretty small; you’d have to find someone else looking to restore a ’70 Catalina.
1986 Mercedes-Benz 190D 2.5 – $4,300
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter overhead cam diesel inline 5, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Chestertown, MD
Odometer reading: 197,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
This baby Benz I have more hope for. Over-engineered, carefully built, and powered by one of those unstoppable Mercedes diesels, the 190D is a car from a time when the three-pointed star hood ornament actually meant something, not just an inflated price tag and some purchased status. It’s the smallest and least expensive Mercedes from the time, and these diesels get good mileage, but don’t call it an “economy car.”
About that diesel engine: It’s no fire-breather, only making about 90 horsepower. But it will keep chugging along for hundreds of thousands of miles. This one, at just shy of 200,000 miles, is just getting started. It’s backed by a four-speed automatic, also with an excellent reputation. The seller says it runs and drives great, everything works, and the air conditioning has been updated to R134a and works great.
Inside, it’s an ’80s Mercedes, which means sturdy but comfortable. The M-B Tex upholstery looks fine, of course; it would take an extinction-level event to damage that stuff. The seller has installed an aftermarket amp for the stereo, but they’re keeping it. I’ve never understood why people do that. Stereo stuff just isn’t that valuable; just leave it in the car and buy new a new amp for your next car.
I really admire these Bruno Sacco-styled Mercedes. They’re such clean, timeless designs. This one is in good shape, with only a little dent in one door and some faded paint, but no rust. It’s a good color, too.
The East Coast is going to be an adjustment in a lot of ways, but the lack of weird cars is going to sting a bit. No more scruffy Volvo 240s on every corner, or derelict Alfa Junior Zagatos in repair shop lots, or Exner-era Dodges in red primer hauling ass down the freeway. I won’t see the crazy old Russian guy who daily-drives his two pristine Lada sedans, or spot random Peugeot 505 wagons parked outside antique stores. Or maybe I’m wrong; maybe I’ll find a whole new crop of cool cars. But the classified listings aren’t promising. These two are interesting, at least. Which one speaks to you?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Mark please don’t come to Maryland! I would buy too many of these and my wife will kill me. I am like David Tracy, I have no will power when it comes to buying vehicles. Today’s choices are both spectacular and the only thing stopping me is the Bay Bridge. My Wallet pre-thanks you.
I really want the “Both” option today. That wagon looks worth fixing. Always wanted a diesel Benz.
The Pontiac exists as an object of desire just, like many objects of desire, in reality it’s a bad idea. Maryland’s climate isn’t the uninhabitable polar hellscape of the Great Lakes, New England (I braved it for college and the cold and seasonal affective depression almost did me in) and Canada, but flooding in the Chesapeake Bay region frequently involves water with some degree of saline content. Jellinek (we’re all about continuity in the Alterverse, y’all) for the win, and it’s almost close enough to tempt me into taking a look.
Easy: MB. These were real MBs. Not enamored with the engine type, but it’s certainly robust. Wouldn’t touch that Catalina with the water submersion—black mold is no joke and that rotted out gas tank is a bad sign of what else might be rotted, if it was salt water, even worse. Maybe if it was mint to start, was just recovered from the water, and was actually valuable enough to justify a rapid strip-down and cleaning of any salt water, drying, and getting preservative on everything, then new wiring looms to eliminate future gremlins while everything is torn apart, but it isn’t.
I say this as someone who spent six years in VA and DC and loved both dearly…sorry you have to go to Maryland.
I kid! I’m sure it will be fine. Last I heard a couple of years ago, my old ’73 Bavaria had ended up in Maryland, outside
BaltimoreBawlmer, so if you see it cruising around, give it a wave for me.I fuggin LOVE that Poncho, but the “frame repair needed” does not inspire confidence. For the right person it could be doable though. I’d say the cost is a little optimistic, though it’s less that $1/lb.
The Merc is before they switched to Bio-degradable wiring looms, I’d prefer a OM617 cause it only really needs valve adjustments, but that 190E is clean.
I learned the other day that OM means Oelmotor (Oil Motor) meaning diesel. Taking another step, I guess that means M (Like in M111) means motor. Very practical.
The W in M-B model codes (i.e. W201 for the 190) stands for “Wagen,” or, basically, “car.” The E in BMW model codes is for “Entwicklung,” which translates to “development” or “design.”
The Germans are a colorful people.
That Benz started to reel me in—quite handsome, great color, good interior—but that Pontiac is just incredible. Those crosshair whatevers on the front? Yes, please. Sure, it’s expensive for what it is, but I’d feel like a king driving it.
Here’s the thing about that Pontiac: it’s a wagon. Station wagons from that period were either trashed by families or thrashed by tradesmen. It’s incredibly hard to find survivor wagons as a result. Sure, it will take a fair bit of restoration to get it moving again safely, but it would be a rarity once you do it.
A ton of these were probably destroyed in demo derbies, too.
Gotta be the 190D. That Catalina is a hideous monstrosity.
More importantly – good luck with the move Mark! Leaving this city seems like it’s becoming a trend. I’ve known at least 5 people personally who have left just in the past 18 months or so.
I love the idea of that Pontiac, especially that colour with the steelies and the whitewalls, but it’s too shady. All American used cars seem obscenely overpriced, so griping that that Merc is over 4k is a bit redundant, but still…
You had me (running away screaming) at “sat in water.”
The big Cat would have been my choice if not for the extremely questionable shape its in.
I’ll take the slow-n-steady M-B and convert it to bio-diesel so it at least smells like fries instead of sulphur.
This is the correct take.
It’s not a choice. The Merc is in better condition, but kind of pointless – it’s just a used car.
The Wagon may well be a disaster, but way more fun.
Old Mercedes is best Mercedes. Keep the tin worm at bay and it’ll run until the end of ICE here on Earth. Then the giant mutated roaches will tool around in it on veggie oil.
Easy choice. As much as I’d like to own that big crazy Cattle-wagon, the particular one displayed here needs frame-repair (not to mention the other issues), and that’s just a no-go, regardless of price. I’ve got a ’66 Biscayne which could use a little of that and no one around these parts will even consider looking at it. The diesel-daily seems like an actual okay buy – that little oil-burner will likely chug along for years.
I personally really love the baroque 1970 Pontiac front end. I don’t know that I need to own the entire 1970 Pontiac attached to it. Maybe someday I’ll make one into a wall hanging/light fixture.
I always thought of it as a battering ram that would clear the road if needed.
In college I drove a 1970 4 door Catalina w/ the 400ci engine and the turbo 400 transmission. Blue w/ a white vinyl top. It was an absolute tank. And burned gasoline like crazy. Would I like another one? Nope. Especially not that one.
My parents had a 1967 MB 200D w/ a 4 speed manual, loved that car (until I wrecked it, which I still haven’t completely forgiven myself for doing). So for me it’s the MB all the way. Is it slow? Oh, yeah. Like you can’t imagine. But it’s also a great ride.
Ooofff, good luck man. Portland is a very easy climate on cars and Maryland is super harsh and has some of if not the strictest inspections in the US, thus the dearth of cheap death traps…uh, I mean, project cars.
Not sure what you’re talking about here. I’ve lived in Maryland for the past 30 years and I’ve never had to have a car inspected for anything more than smog. It snows maybe twice a year, although they spray the roads with some kind of slurry if there is even the hint of freezing temps and precipitation in the forecast. Maybe in western MD (the tiny part of MD) the conditions are more harsh?
MARK – Everyone agrees – Mercedes. Now… I’ve lived around both Portland (Ridgefield, WA) and Maryland (Alexandria, VA) areas. Expect much worse drivers and much more snow. Safe travels.
No brainer for me, have to go Mercedes. Way too much going on with the wagon. As a Maryland resident, I can tell you that you aren’t going to find much in the way of super interesting cars on the Eastern Shore. You will sometimes find some cool but sketchy cars around Baltimore and the Washington DC area always has something interesting. Of course, everything is priced at the top of the market.
That part of the Shore is also within striking distance of Philadelphia, although the rust risk increases the further north you go.
Sat in water? Needs fuel tank? Interior trashed?
No thanks, I’ll let Horst beat me over the head with invoices in Deutschmarks.
“The East Coast is going to be an adjustment in a lot of ways, but the lack of weird cars is going to sting a bit.”
My guess is there are fewer of these plated in Maryland:
https://eugene.craigslist.org/ctd/d/eugene-1984-asmbl-sand-rail-street/7720974665.html
That’s the best use of Pinto taillights I’ve ever seen.
I like those, too. The whole thing has quite a bit of appeal. I grew up on the Oregon coast at a time when many beach vehicles tended to be a bit more minimalistic, like this one:
https://bend.craigslist.org/pts/d/terrebonne-renault-ventoux-billancourt/7714966808.html
but the fact that the one in Eugene has license plates makes it worth the added complexity.
Re the move, be ready – the crabs are different, and frankly, best consumed in cake format.
Doesn’t matter; I’m allergic to shellfish.
That wagon has the ugliest front end in Pontiac history, and yes, I’m including the Aztek in this.
Kind of has an Edsel look to it, doesn’t it?
Oddly that is one of the redeeming features of the wagon for me. Different strokes and all that.
I was thinking the Catalina might be my choice until I saw the engine compartment and thought flood and hurricanes. I think “sat in some water” really means underwater more than in a puddle. And a gas can under the hood? Catalina bonfire?
Also, thought that there was a big oil or transmission fluid leak under the 190. If the Merc runs as well as they say and it’s as clean as it looks, easy choice, Merc all the way!