1970 Pontiac Catalina vs 1986 Mercedes 190D: The Craigslist Where I’m Moving Is Weak

Good morning, and happy Friday! This week’s winners didn’t really lend themselves to a runoff vote, so we’re looking at two new contestants. Today’s Shitbox Showdown comes to you from a very specific part of the country, and I’ll explain why in a minute.

Yesterday’s silly off-roaders brought out the little kid in a lot of you, and I was glad to see it. I mean, “dune buggy” and “monster truck” are both just such joyous terms that you can’t help but smile when you think about them, even if the actual vehicles don’t measure up to your imagination.

But there always has to be a winner, and yesterday it was no contest: the Baja Bug ran away with it. And I have to agree. The truck would be an extremely entertaining way to waste a bunch of gasoline in an afternoon, but I don’t want to own, or park, the damn thing.

Now then: For family reasons I won’t get into here, Shitbox Showdown’s international offices will be pulling up stakes this summer and moving across the country, likely to somewhere in the great state of Maryland. Don’t worry, though; you’ll still get the same high-quality shitboxes you’ve become accustomed to, delivered fresh to your browser each morning. Since I’ve featured so many vehicles from here in Portland, I thought it would be fun to see what I could find in what will be my new stomping ground.

The answer: Not a whole hell of a lot. Clearly, cheap and interesting cars aren’t going to just fall from the sky there like they do here (that’s why Portland has so many potholes, FYI). I’ll be looking elsewhere a lot of the time, I think. These two did catch my eye, but please remember when you look at them that the standard we strive for here is compelling cars to write and read about, not necessarily good cars – or good bargains. Here they are.

1970 Pontiac Catalina wagon – $4,200

Engine/drivetrain: 400 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Stevensville, MD

Odometer reading: 45,000 miles

Operational status: Technically runs and drives, but I wouldn’t advise it

Here we have a car for sale on an island, that’s named after a different island, and is damn near as big as some islands. Downsizing wasn’t a thing yet in 1970, and cars like GM’s massive B-body station wagons were the kings of the road. It’s long, wide, heavy, and has absolutely massive presence, even in this diminished condition. Pontiac’s  Catalina takes its name, ironically, from a place you can’t really drive cars at all. Or maybe a salad dressing. Or is the salad dressing named after the car? Anyway, it’s big, and it has a cool name.

This was still back when GM’s divisions all used their own engines, rather the one-size-fits-all “corporate” engines we’ve grown accustomed to seeing since the late ’70s. This is, therefore, a Pontiac 400 V8, equipped with a two-barrel Rochester carburetor, putting out 290 horsepower by the old SAE gross measurement, meaning without any accessories attached, just the bare engine. It has had the carb rebuilt, and runs just fine, though the seller notes that it hasn’t been started in a few months. It also has a rebuilt Turbo 400 transmission, so no worries there. However, the fuel tank is rusted out, and this gigantic engine is currently being fed by a red plastic gas can under the hood – not a long-term viable, or safe, method. A new fuel tank is included, along with mounting straps.

This big green wagon has quite a colorful past: It sat in some water (no one is saying how much) through a hurricane, was scrapped, then rescued from the junkyard by a mechanic who got it running and driving again, and sold it to the current owner, who clearly is in over their head a little bit. It needs some rust repair underneath, including frame repair.

The interior worries me some. Without knowing how deep the water was it sat in, we can’t know how wet it got in there, if at all. And this is the only photo we get of the inside – not much to go on. Between the rust and the unknowns, I think this might make a better parts car than anything, but the market would be pretty small; you’d have to find someone else looking to restore a ’70 Catalina.

1986 Mercedes-Benz 190D 2.5 – $4,300

Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter overhead cam diesel inline 5, four-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Chestertown, MD

Odometer reading: 197,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives great

This baby Benz I have more hope for. Over-engineered, carefully built, and powered by one of those unstoppable Mercedes diesels, the 190D is a car from a time when the three-pointed star hood ornament actually meant something, not just an inflated price tag and some purchased status. It’s the smallest and least expensive Mercedes from the time, and these diesels get good mileage, but don’t call it an “economy car.”

About that diesel engine: It’s no fire-breather, only making about 90 horsepower. But it will keep chugging along for hundreds of thousands of miles. This one, at just shy of 200,000 miles, is just getting started. It’s backed by a four-speed automatic, also with an excellent reputation. The seller says it runs and drives great, everything works, and the air conditioning has been updated to R134a and works great.

Inside, it’s an ’80s Mercedes, which means sturdy but comfortable. The M-B Tex upholstery looks fine, of course; it would take an extinction-level event to damage that stuff. The seller has installed an aftermarket amp for the stereo, but they’re keeping it. I’ve never understood why people do that. Stereo stuff just isn’t that valuable; just leave it in the car and buy new a new amp for your next car.

I really admire these Bruno Sacco-styled Mercedes. They’re such clean, timeless designs. This one is in good shape, with only a little dent in one door and some faded paint, but no rust. It’s a good color, too.

The East Coast is going to be an adjustment in a lot of ways, but the lack of weird cars is going to sting a bit. No more scruffy Volvo 240s on every corner, or derelict Alfa Junior Zagatos in repair shop lots, or Exner-era Dodges in red primer hauling ass down the freeway. I won’t see the crazy old Russian guy who daily-drives his two pristine Lada sedans, or spot random Peugeot 505 wagons parked outside antique stores. Or maybe I’m wrong; maybe I’ll find a whole new crop of cool cars. But the classified listings aren’t promising. These two are interesting, at least. Which one speaks to you?

(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)