I’ve always been someone interested in little details. There’s that quote from the famous modernist architect Mies van der Rohe about how “God is in the details” but I always confuse that with the modern idiom “the devil is in the details,” and the truth is that if you asked me, at sharpened screwdriver-point to explain just what the hell that means, I’m not sure I could. Still, what I do know is that I love automotive details, and this time I want to talk about one that is largely gone from the modern automotive landscape, which I believe is a crucial factor in society’s severe drop in classiness levels over the past four or so decades. The detail? Body-colored wheel covers.
Don’t believe me? Think I’m overstating things? Well maybe this chart from the National Organization for the Preservation and Advancement of American Classiness (NOPAAC) will convince you:
Look at that! There is a clear and direct correlation between the vanishing of body-colored wheel covers from America’s roads with the dizzying and precipitous drop in classiness levels, from their 1968 peak at nearly 4,200 KiloSwanks to their miserable showing today, at a mere 224 KiloSwanks per square hectare [Editor’s Note: Wait a second, if there were a clear relationship, wouldn’t you expect some kind of inflection point when the last body-color hubcap went away? Hmm, the data seems dubious, but continue on. -DT]. You can’t just open up Photoshop and quickly slap together a chart like this and make up some absurd organization — this is real, hard data backing up my point: color-coordinated wheel covers or hubcaps are deeply and powerfully classy things, and the abandonment of them by the global carmaker cabal has horrifically impacted classiness levels all over the nation.
Can we ever recover? Who knows. I hope so. Perhaps raising awareness of this problem is the first step, so allow me to provide some examples of how wonderful body-colored wheel covers are. The best known practitioner of this deeply elegant affectation is likely Mercedes-Benz, who offered color-coordinated wheel covers across a number of models from the late 1960s to well into the 1980s:
Tell me that’s not a fantastic look! Tell me! Why are we so gripped by the monochrome menace of grayscale wheels for pretty much every car you can get today? Sure, there’s sometimes black wheels or white wheels, but the vast majority of wheels are silver or gray or some miserable bland shade of putty-oatmeal-asphalt-leaden sky nothingness?
Matching wheel color to car body color is harder, yes. It takes more time and more coordination, and the manufacturer can’t just shit out some universal gray wheels that work on anything, they have to pay attention, and make special wheels or wheel covers for every different color they offer. It takes caring, which is at the essence of why they’re so damn classy.
And if you still don’t believe me, look at all these cars that once offered body colored wheels; many were not classy cars at all, and yet once this quartet of matchy-matchy accessories were applied, the KiloSwank readings of every car absolutely skyrocketed. Here’s some examples:
Was a Renault LeCar classy? I mean, it has a French name, so that helps, but what also helps are those fetching body-colored wheel covers on the yellow one there! And the green one at the back! It’s just so…together!
Let’s look at another car not normally associated with classiness:
A Ford Pinto! Is it still an entry-level econobox with a dangerously cataclysmic design flaw when it looks this good on those wheels? I don’t think so!
Look, even perennial cheapskates AMC even got in on the action, transforming the grubby sweatshirt that was the AMC Hornet into the dry cleaned and pressed tuxedo T-shirt of the Concord! And you can thank those fabulous red hubcaps!
Look at this Granada; normally a pile with delusions of grandeur, but add some body-colored hubcaps and all of a sudden things seem less delusional, right?
Oh, if you forgot about the delusions of a Granada, it’s always fun to be reminded:
There’s more, though; for a while, the body-colored wheels were a known and respected path out of mundanity. The Plymouth Valiant (and its sibling the Dart) did it:
And GM wasn’t missing out, either, with the Nova getting some classy color-coded wheels:
That guy looks a lot like Matthew Mcconaughey, doesn’t he?
It’s uncanny! Oh, and GM also gave this gift unto Oldsmobile, for the Delta 88:
There are more examples, of course. And on a personal note, I even painted the wheels of my own Beetle to match the body color, gaining an increase of hundreds of KiloSwanks:
Now, I’ve talked to some people about body-colored or color-coordinated wheels or wheel coverings, and some have stated that they do not like them, that they feel they are “cheesy” or “too much” or some other inane whatever. To people who feel this way, I can only suggest that you seek out your clergyperson or perhaps a mental health professional to help steer you back onto the Path of Truth, because, it pains me to say, you have wandered.
I hereby challenge a modern, mainstream automaker to offer body-coordinated wheels again. It’s far past time to break the stranglehold of grayscale wheels, and I’m confident that the resulting increase in our nations classiness levels will pay for the added efforts many, many times over.
Stay swanky, friends.
You are 100% correct! Look how these color matching wheels class up this Fiat 500 1957 edition. I almost bought one of these just for the wheels.
http://www.carverse.com/gallery/528db94ec6a2f.jpg
My grandparents had a long-wheelbase 1960 Bentley S2 for many years when I was a kid, and it had a little body-colored band around the middle of each wheel cover. If that doesn’t prove JT’s point, I don’t know what will, because that thing was nothing if not swanky. They even kept a jar of Grey Poupon in the glovebox, just in case.
Jason I am sorry to tell you that you got this all wrong. For the following reasons:
1. It’s not the absence of color matched wheel covers its the absence of wheel covers.
2. Wheels are still color coded but now cars only come in white, black, and 100 tints of silver.
3. I’m pretty sure Krylon or Rustoleum is available in a close enough match.
What did Henry Ford say? “You can have any color coded matching wheel cover, so long as it’s black.”
4. There was the invention of Chrome Plating and the god awful taste of the neuvo riche of the hippity hoppity generation that thought chrome everything was taste.
Whenever I saw a late-eighties 8th gen Pontiac Bonneville with the body color matched wheels, that’s exactly what I thought: classy.
Fun fact*: That guy doesn’t look like McConaughey. McConaughey looks like that guy! That guy is actually named Donald Iver. He was Richard Linklater’s neighbor in Texas. McConaughey was a friend to both Linklater and Iver and when it came time to shoot Dazed and Confused, McConaughey used Iver as inspiration! No word on if Wooderson attitude was from Iver or if that was all McConaughey.
*This is total crap.
“Crap” presented confidently is now called “fact”.
Not true! It’s a witch hunt.
This is the result of skipping finishing school, total ignorance of the KiloSwanks. And wowy, wow, wow, can’t believe you made me watch that. Was expecting the broach to be a MB hubcap, and the lady to be Ms. Piggy.
The new (discontinued) Beetle and Fiat 500 had body colored wheels on their retro trims. They made both cars look more interesting, even if the overall vehicle was meh.
When I first became involved with Ford Skyliners there was a debate raging within the national club about whether wheels should match the color of the lower part of the body or whether they should always be black. Only a narrow band of color is visible around the wheel cover:
https://www.oldcarbrochures.com/static/NA/Ford/1957_Ford/1957%20Ford.jpg
nevertheless some owners were adamant that their “all-original” cars had come with matching wheels whereas others were equally adamant that their own wheels had originally been black, regardless of the color(s) of the body. This threatened to become a big deal for judging. Investigations were launched.
It turns out it depended on when and where the car had been built.
Oh shit that picture is HIP
You forgot about the color-coded Rally wheels that came on many Oldsmobilies.
Got em on my Firethorn red Cutlass Salon with the chrome trim rings and center cap
Also some Camaro trims in the 70s!
I don’t know about where you live, but a quick scan of the supermarket parking lot indicates about 25% of the cars are painted silver with silver wheels. So there!
Really, no pictorial love for ’80s Pontiacs and their good-faith efforts?! They went SO WELL with the cladding…
Someone call SWG!
I paid to get OEM Focus 16″ alloys powder-coated to match the paint on our 2017 C-MAX. Money well spent, I think.
(The original 17″ wheels had to go.)
Wow – what color? So I can picture it.
I miss the C-MAX (here in the states I mean). Always thought it was a great solution for what many people needed; guess it just wasn’t want they wanted.
Dark grey. Click to see ’em.
Looks like alternate universe C-MAX RS!
I got the idea to do that from how the black steelies that the snow tires are on looked.
Body colored wheels >> body colored wheel covers, but in general I’m with you on this one, Torch.
As an aside, has any car in history been more let down by its taillights than the Granada? The design looks pretty good, all things considered, until you get around to the back, at which point I usually throw up in my mouth just a little. Did the designers forget to do the back of the car until a few minutes before the executive design review, and just slap some J.C. Whitney trailer lights on in a panic?
https://www.oldcarbrochures.com/static/NA/Ford/1977_Ford/1977_Ford_Granada_Brochure/1977%20Ford%20Granada-03.jpg
To be fair, the black wheels a lot of cars come with go nicely with the various monochrome shades they offer for the cars themselves.
…while those of us with color vision slice our wrists
from ennuijust so we can see some damned color.Bleeds gray
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Mr Spock has entered the chat
Dang I almost forgot my 86 VW has the same maroon colored alloys as the body. Probably forgot it cause it has been at the mechanics for 2 years. Prob should get it back before I die eh?
Also the powder blue hubs on the powder blue Fiat 500. A gift from out Italian gods.
I have the powder coated 14” alloys on the white Del Sol. Now I must have the car painted the same orange to improve my swankiness. I’m all for that. Maybe this spring
Powder blue Fiat 500 with matching blue wheel covers. A thing of magnificence
Strich 8 and die Macht!
Jason, Don’t forget the great Super Stock II “Mag” wheels available on GM coupes. My ‘73 Cutlass had matching Emerald Green wheels with chrome centers and beauty rings. Very cool!
Mr. Torchinsky, I have great respect for your aesthetic impulses, and almost always find your perspective compelling. Yet in this instance, I am obliged to echo the sentiments of Aaron Nichols in the commentary here. Finding a match if you lose one is the Devil. And, the way I drive, I WILL lose one. So.
Nah, these are terrible, always. The Mercedes ones are somehow the worst iteration of the concept.
This is the same kind of “eye for design” that leads one to think the Canadian Tuxedo is a good look.
Canadian tuxedos are an EXCELLENT look.
Hell, Ryan Gosling made it work both as a kid AND an adult.
Incorrect. A particularly disappointing take from Elvis, of all people.
I had a 71 Torino that had a body colored ring around the hub cap. Was very swank, until one disappeared and then had an incomplete set. Nearly impossible to find a match.
I remember getting a few Mercedes wheel cover for my dad’s W123 since a few went missing over the years. they came without colour and it is up to you to colour match them.
I have one hanging in my kitchen that been made into a clock.
Perhaps its your Dad’s?
It is blue, then maybe? The car lived a pretty long life, from early 80s until mid 00s, I assume parts of it are now razor blades somewhere. It still had those asbestos pads etc. Just growing around it, confirm my thinking that Mercedes Benz has a weird fixation with pneumatic system and reliability / serviceability be damned.
> W123
> The car lived a pretty long life, from early 80s until mid 00s
‘Tis but a baby
Perhaps, but my dad is not mechanically (at least for cars) inclined. The 80s HVAC, brakes etc were starting to go. By the 00s, parts were hard to come by, there weren’t any RockAuto type places yet. I think the nail to the coffin is the mechanic that we used to bring the car to be serviced retired, and the new guy / places just don’t want to deal with parts issues. The body is mostly fine, doors still open and close like a vault, but the plastics started to crack, pneumatic hoses developed leaks, seals etc need to be replaced. Contextually it is just a sedan not a rare CE / Wagon model.
They make little rubber stencils so you can buy unfinished ones and paint them yourself.
https://www.authenticclassics.com/Rubber-Painting-Stencil-for-Hub-Cap-Mercedes-190SL-p/auth-008893.htm
I totally agree. Someone in the comments for the K-Car limo that got posted here recently complained that the car had color coded wheel covers and thought that wire wheel covers would class it up a bit. I strongly disagreed with that.
Classing up a K-car is definitely a waste of time & effort, but some people consider turd-polishing a hobby.
No arguments here, body colored hubcaps with a little flash of chrome is a classy look for cheap. Caveat is it requires sensible sized wheels and tires with decent sidewall, I’m not sure it could be pulled off with the 19th century stagecoach wheel sizes and skinny rubber band tires that are popular right now