A Is For: 1983 Alfa Romeo Spider vs 2004 Audi S4 Cabriolet

Good morning! Today we’re embarking on a special adventure, one that will take us twenty-six days to complete. We’re going alphabetically through the world of cheap and cool cars, starting with the letter A. Today’s choices come from Alfa Romeo and Audi.

On Friday we went absolutely mad with the prices and looked at some stuff I’m sure none of us can afford. But there’s nothing wrong with a little daydreaming once in a while, is there? When I checked on Friday afternoon, the votes were almost tied, but it looks like some more Ferrari fans came out of the woodwork over the weekend to put the silver Dino in the lead.

I could have fun driving either one of these, but I don’t think I’d want to own them. I just don’t do well with expensive or fancy things; I get too nervous and can’t enjoy them. Now, if some kind soul were to give me one or the other of these, I’d take the DeSoto, because I’m more confident I could fix it properly. I would jump at the chance to drive a Ferrari someday, but I have no desire to maintain one.

All right, let’s come back down to earth. For the purposes of this alphabet game we’re going to play, I’m going to first look for marques that start with the letter in question, but if I can’t find one, then the model name will have to do. And I’m going to try to avoid the common ones where I can: C won’t be Chevy, H won’t be Honda, and so on. Today we start with the letter A, and a pair of convertibles, one from Italy and one from Germany. Here they are.

1983 Alfa Romeo Spider – $4,500

Engine/drivetrain: 2.0-liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD

Location: San Francisco, CA

Odometer reading: 155,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

Deet, dee-dee-dee, deet-dee, dee-dee deet-dee, dee-deet dee. Doot, doo-doo-doo, doot-doo, doo-doot doo… Oh, sorry. I get that tune stuck in my head every time I see one of these Alfa Spiders in red. I imagine by now, the owners of them are sick to death of that association, though, so instead, I’ll point out that this is also the car “smog tested” by Chevy Chase in the movie Fletch. And, looking back at that chase scene now, that little Alfa handled it pretty damn well. Luckily for Fletch, that one had plenty of gas in the tank.

In 1983, the Spider was in its third generation, powered by a 2-liter version of Alfa’s venerable twin-cam engine. It has Bosch fuel injection instead of the twin carburetors of the European version, to meet US fuel economy and, ironically, smog standards. Alfas don’t have a great reputation for reliability, as I’m sure a lot of you are aware, but this one has made it to 155,000 miles, and the seller says it runs and drives very well. Obviously someone knew what they were doing with its maintenance.

Inside, it’s as clean as you could hope for. The vinyl seats look good, and I have a feeling the carpet has been replaced. I’ve always liked the interior style of these, with that weird angle of the gearshift lever, the two big round gauges, and that deep-dish steering wheel. This one also has the required 85 MPH speedometer, with everything above 55 marked as a no-go zone. Yeah, sure.

Regulatory changes were never kind to small convertibles, but this one wears its big 5 MPH bumpers better than some others. Less appealing is the three-piece rear spoiler tacked on to all Spiders of this era. It looks like it belongs on a Camaro, not an Italian sports car. And just like on most Camaros, it doesn’t line up quite right. But who cares? It’s a shiny red Alfa with no rust, for a decent price. I call that a win.

2004 Audi S4 Cabriolet – $4,300

Engine/drivetrain: 4.2-liter dual overhead cam V8, six-speed automatic, AWD

Location: Encino, CA

Odometer reading: 79,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

Some automakers are known for a signature feature of their cars. Think Subaru with its boxer engines, or, um… Porsche with its boxer engines. Sure, they make other stuff, but those other things aren’t really what they’re known for. For Audi, since the early 1980s, that signature feature is its Quattro all-wheel-drive system, especially when powered by really hot engines. For about three decades now, the high-performace Audis have had a model name that starts with S, which as far as I can tell stands for “Shit, this thing is fast.”

After years of turbocharged inline fives and twin-turbo V6s, this generation of S4 embraced the hot rodder’s mantra “There is no replacement for displacement” and made use of Audi’s 4.2 liter V8. With four camshafts, and five valves per cylinder, it’s a bit more complex than your average American V8, but it’s got the goods – 340 horsepower’s worth, to be exact. It drives all four wheels through a six-speed automatic. This car has only 79,000 miles on its odometer, and it runs and drives just fine, though in grand 2000s VW/Audi tradition, I think I see a yellow warning light on the dash.

It’s in nice condition inside, though not perfect. The driver’s seat shows some wear, and might have a popped seam. Apart from that, though, it’s holding up well. As you’d expect, it has just about every power feature 2004 had to offer – as well as a somewhat anachronistic cassette player. Still got your Kraftwerk tapes?

Cabriolet S4s are somewhat rare; the four-door sedans are a lot more common. It’s a handsome machine, and in decent condition, though the ad does say it has a rebuilt title, for an undisclosed reason. California seems to hand out rebuilt titles like candy, so it may be nothing, but it’s worth asking about, and checking with your insurance agent to find out if they care.

So that’s today’s Showdown, brought to you by the letter A: two European drop-tops, one throwback to the 1960s, and one that was state-of-the-art in its day. They’re about equal in price and condition, so all that’s left for you to decide is the style. Which one speaks to you?