You probably already know this, but the cultures of America and France are very different. One sees food primarily as a culinary art and has determined kids can responsibly enjoy a little wine with dinner, while another views food often as something you command to appear via drive-thru and doesn’t let youngsters tap a box of Franza until they’re a near-elderly 21 years of age – but if Timmy needs a pick-me-up to make it through another day of 7th grade, a Monster Energy is OK. Jerry Lewis was seen as a comic genius by one country, while the other nation mainly saw him as a cantankerous dude who hogged our television all Labor Day weekend (but it was fun to watch him get all loopy by Monday when he hadn’t slept in three days).
Those are pretty stark differences, but perhaps the chasm between cultures is most apparent when comparing what Americans and the French see as family cars, particularly if you go back to around 1985.
In France, a popular medium- to large-sized car for the whole brood was the Citroen CX. Introduced in 1974, it was facelifted and “normalized” in 1985 –sorry, no more rotating drum gauges or space-helmet ashtray for you. Regardless, it still looked like something that fell from space rather than sensible transportation a French family would take to Portugal on holiday.
More bizarre than the car itself was the advertising. In America, family cars were often promoted by down-home actors like Dick Van Patten, Hal Linden, or some other bland prime-time TV star. To introduce the new CX, Citroen chose Grace Jones, the striking and unique American singer, songwriter, model, and actress known for Conan The Destroyer, A View To A Kill, and this awesomely 80s Honda Elite scooter commercial.
Look at this print advertisement. This is a rather stately family sedan that might compete with very staid offerings from Germany or Sweden, and this is how they decided to promote it:
If the print ad isn’t avante-garde enough for you, take a look at the television version:
What did I just watch? Can you imagine the pitch for this? “So, we need to have the car come out of a giant telescopic Grace Jones head, drive away into the desert, then do a sorta-donut …” Also, why do I now want one of these strange four-door non-hatchback sedans even more?
And what were Americans getting in 1985? A comparative family-sized sedan might have been the Ford LTD, a Fox-body stopgap to hold a market position until the Taurus was ready. It’s not a bad car, but compared to a CX? It’s a snorefest.
Better yet, let’s look at the advertising for this warmed-over Fairmont:
Nothing like four columns of text, a shot of the car traversing a lifeless brown landscape, and a thumbnail picture of the front seats to activate the reader’s shut up and take my money reflex. And good Lord, what’s with that family? Were they culled from a casting call for the dullest-looking suburbanites imaginable? What’s more depressing: the earth-toned outfits they’re in, or the lighting that (as Jason perfectly described it) screams 5:45 on a Sunday in late January? Dad has that “I have completely given up on my dreams” kind of look on his face. His soul is as crushed as the velvet on those front seats.
Please, Ford. Couldn’t you at least get that boring-ass car to drive out of, say, Lionel Ritchie’s head or something?
People didn’t have a lot of money back then in France, so the CX was never really a family car for most. More up there in the executive class.
10 years ago, when CXes were down around 2K EUR, I bought a really nice blue low mileage 1985 CX GTi. And used it for family transport and long trips – and general fun. Absolutely fabulous car! 🙂
BTW: The gear lever is extremely long in that Grace Jones CX commercial. I guess they thought it looked cool on film like that or something…
Unrelated, as I don’t have a lot of familiarity with Citroen, I kinda think the GM EV-1 looked a LOT like that one above. Just me?
Yes, this is officially the weirdest car commercial I’ve ever seen
Oh, poor thing 🙂
Search for any “pub Jean Paul Goude” think in youtube and you’ll get plenty of joy.
Lee Cooper:
https://youtu.be/hUcW83RM7PQ
But especially the Kodak ones:
https://youtu.be/BFFCM52mc2o
https://youtu.be/jTQag6RjSOM
Ha ha it hardly bothered me, I just haven’t seen many weird ones and yeah, those are weird!
“…fell from space rather than sensible transportation a French family would take to Portugal on holiday.”
We drove a diesel Renault 21 to Portugal but you still managed to bring back memories. Cudos Bishop!
Awesome looking thing! My dad wanted one but we had to put up with a GS and then a BX.
One of the very few cars where the rear wheel arch doesn’t intrude on the rear door, resulting in a straight cut line. Only other vehicle I can think of like that is a suburban…
To that list I’d add:
-most extended SUVs (like expedition esv)
-Checker cabs
-VPG MV-1 CAB
-1st gen Chevy Traverse and GMC platform mate
I’m sure there are lots more, but those stick out in my mind.
After a GS and a GSA my dad got a CX Safari. It was like being driven around in a space ship. We’d travel all over Europe, gliding along, canoes on the roof rack, mum navigating and the three boys in the back continually fighting over who had to sit in the middle. It was his last car, and the best and weirdest of them all. My mum replaced it with a BX, which was much the same kind of thing, but drawn on an etch-a-sketch.
He loved Citroens, and he’d probably be sad at the declining weirdness of later Citroens. Certainly the modern ones have no insane engineering on them at all.
CXs remind me of my dad, and make me feel sad but proud.
I once owned a Citroën DS and an SM. If a CX was readily available in the US, I would have bought one. Instead, around that time I was driving a Renault Fuego Turbo; c’est dommage pour moi.
I would have also dated Grace Jones, though that would have been a large step down for her.
SMs are awesome!
Was it much grief to look after? They seem like they should be a nightmare.
It was reliable until it wasn’t.
I had a ’73 automatic, and I sold it to a collector when it developed a leak in the transmission. At the time (early 1980s), I was still near the start of my career, and the cost to remove the transmission would eat up my extra cash.
I forget all the gory details, but you had to disassemble most of the front of the car to get the transmission out. I had experience with Weber carbs and multi-carb systems, so keeping them in tune wasn’t bad. Also, you had to check the timing chains as it was an interference engine; not maintaining the chain tension was one of the biggest causes of failure in the SM engine, IIRC.
How did Citroen manage to make a 112″ wheelbase look like 180″?
There’s another connection here: The very last car (not vehicle – that would be a fire truck) Sir Roger Moore drove in his tenure as James Bond was a light blue Ford LTD of all cars (whilst wearing a brown suit…looking very much like an insurance salesman) in the same movie where he shags Grace Jones.
Product placement gone terribly wrong. He belonged in a Mark VII LSC (which Dalton would drive next time Bond came to the states).
I guess this was Cubby Broccoli’s way of getting back at him for all the games of backgammon Sir Rog won…
Mercifully, though, there were no advertising tie-ins.
I would argue that Grace Jones shagged him, that scene definitely implies that the little British agent is not prepared for what she’s about to do to him.
It was a rental car picked up at the airport in San Francisco, and he was working undercover as a reporter for a financial newspaper in London. Would have been really dumb to be driving around northern California in a Lotus with UK plates that was specially air lifted in a 747, what news reporter would pay for that on a normal business trip?
Well, I suppose if that was the only rental available that has some merit.
I’m not sure if Avis rented Lincolns then but I don’t think an LSC would have been too much of a cover buster.
Have you _watched_ a Bond film? That man’s idea of spycraft is to go to the most expensive casino in town, introduce himself by name, ask for his signature drink, and then shag the target’s wife.
So, Yes, it’s strange to find Bond in a light blue Ford LTD.
I grew up in this era and man, do I recall everything being brown. I am somewhat nostalgic for the advertising of this time – so chock full of bullshit copy that you can’t help but smirk. But this ad could have used a little copy-editing. You know they are grasping at straws when the ad says the “steel belted radial tires are worthy of note”. ??? You know you are selling a turd when that’s what you talk about.
What’s with the tagline “Get it together – buckle up”.? Is that an old click it or ticket type thing, or was that some weird demand from the Ford LTD people?
It’s the malaise era equivalent of the AI fluff that fills out 90% of the internet, today!
Reminds me of South Carolina’s short lived, first seat belt safety campaign: “Belt your family. Save their lives.” Even as a middle schooler at the time, I knew this was just plain wrong…
“You know they are grasping at straws when the ad says the “steel belted radial tires are worthy of note”. ??? You know you are selling a turd when that’s what you talk about.”
I have seen “pneumatic technology” tires listed as bullet points for some very forgettable late 20th and early 21st century cars.
I saw one in the streets of San Francisco in the late 80’s. I think some company was trying to legally import them into the US. Looked as amazing then as it does now.
There were two companies importing them if I remember correctly. One added four round headlights with the other did something odd with two square lights that looked awful.