Home » A Tale Of Two Cultures As Captured By Their Cars: Cold Start

A Tale Of Two Cultures As Captured By Their Cars: Cold Start

Citroen Cx Gti Turbo Postcard, France, 1980s
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You probably already know this, but the cultures of America and France are very different. One sees food primarily as a culinary art and has determined kids can responsibly enjoy a little wine with dinner, while another views food often as something you command to appear via drive-thru and doesn’t let youngsters tap a box of Franza until they’re a near-elderly 21 years of age – but if Timmy needs a pick-me-up to make it through another day of 7th grade, a Monster Energy is OK. Jerry Lewis was seen as a comic genius by one country, while the other nation mainly saw him as a cantankerous dude who hogged our television all Labor Day weekend (but it was fun to watch him get all loopy by Monday when he hadn’t slept in three days).

Those are pretty stark differences, but perhaps the chasm between cultures is most apparent when comparing what Americans and the French see as family cars, particularly if you go back to around 1985.

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In France, a popular medium- to large-sized car for the whole brood was the Citroen CX. Introduced in 1974, it was facelifted and “normalized” in 1985 –sorry, no more rotating drum gauges or space-helmet ashtray for you. Regardless, it still looked like something that fell from space rather than sensible transportation a French family would take to Portugal on holiday.

Cx 1 8 11

Cx 3 8 11

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Cx 2 8 11

More bizarre than the car itself was the advertising. In America, family cars were often promoted by down-home actors like Dick Van Patten, Hal Linden, or some other bland prime-time TV star. To introduce the new CX, Citroen chose Grace Jones, the striking and unique American singer, songwriter, model, and actress known for Conan The Destroyer, A View To A Kill, and this awesomely 80s Honda Elite scooter commercial.

Grace Jones View To A Kill

Look at this print advertisement. This is a rather stately family sedan that might compete with very staid offerings from Germany or Sweden, and this is how they decided to promote it:

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If the print ad isn’t avante-garde enough for you, take a look at the television version:

What did I just watch? Can you imagine the pitch for this? “So, we need to have the car come out of a giant telescopic Grace Jones head, drive away into the desert, then do a sorta-donut …”  Also, why do I now want one of these strange four-door non-hatchback sedans even more?

Grace Jones Citroen

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Grace even scares herself a little, apparently.

And what were Americans getting in 1985? A comparative family-sized sedan might have been the Ford LTD, a Fox-body stopgap to hold a market position until the Taurus was ready. It’s not a bad car, but compared to a CX? It’s a snorefest.

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Farimont 8 11

Better yet, let’s look at the advertising for this warmed-over Fairmont:

Ltd Ad 8 112

Nothing like four columns of text, a shot of the car traversing a lifeless brown landscape, and a thumbnail picture of the front seats to activate the reader’s shut up and take my money reflex. And good Lord, what’s with that family? Were they culled from a casting call for the dullest-looking suburbanites imaginable? What’s more depressing: the earth-toned outfits they’re in, or the lighting that (as Jason perfectly described it) screams 5:45 on a Sunday in late January? Dad has that “I have completely given up on my dreams” kind of look on his face. His soul is as crushed as the velvet on those front seats.

Please, Ford. Couldn’t you at least get that boring-ass car to drive out of, say, Lionel Ritchie’s head or something?

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Griznant
Griznant
2 months ago

Anyone else remember Kim Wayans playing Grace Jones on “In Living Color”?
No?
Just me?
Well, if you don’t, you’ve missed out on some prime entertainment from GRACE JONES!!!!!!

Stryker_T
Stryker_T
2 months ago
Reply to  Griznant

“un alligator for mademoiselle butch” lol

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
2 months ago

How warm was the leatherette?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gi6VE5BaePY

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
2 months ago

Dad there looks like Bill Murray at the beginning of the movie, before things get all zany. What movie? Any movie.

Thomas The Tank Engine
Thomas The Tank Engine
2 months ago

The CX donated to mirrors to a large number of (mostly) British low-volume cars of the 80s and 90s : Facelifted Lotus Esprit (the Pretty Woman one), Jaguar XJ220 and Jaguar XJR-15, prototypes of the McLaren F1 (but not the production version, those mirrors came from the VX Corrado), several TVRs like the Griffith and Chimera, and more.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
2 months ago

Was married for barely a year’s time when we saw the ad for the 85 LTD.
Remember showing it to the boss and remarking how content and happy everyone appeared in the ad. Dad’s face says it all. “I have completely ruined my life.”

About that time a decision was made to never have kids, or a LTD.
It was a strange time in the world.

Last edited 2 months ago by Col Lingus
Stryker_T
Stryker_T
2 months ago

I’m still fascinated with that grace jones commercial just as much as I ever was. I always play it like ten times whenever it’s posted.

I want that head garage. the headlight eyes, the extendable metal jaw, hair, what’s not to love?

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
2 months ago

Ford: “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”
Grace Jones: *screams, projectile vomits a CX and belches*… “non”

Maymar
Maymar
2 months ago

The Americans were getting at least a little forward thinking, at least on some other stuff. I mean, look how they advertised the Astro, with its forward thinking design ethos of “what if traditional BOF van, but smaller?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeBOuaxTJZg

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
2 months ago

” Dad has that “I have completely given up on my dreams” kind of look on his face. His soul is as crushed as the velvet on those front seats”

That’s the look of someone who would really rather have a minivan.

Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
2 months ago

That little burp at the end. Chef’s kiss.

The Citroen at least looks interesting to drive. A stock Fox without the benefits of many years of aftermarket support, not so much.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
2 months ago

Citroen was selling dreams. Ford was selling Sominex.

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
2 months ago

SETI, the gold record, all for naught. I had somehow, probably self sanity preservation, blocked Grace Jones from memory. Good morning laugh!

Cloud Shouter
Cloud Shouter
2 months ago

What? No love for Tom Bosley?

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
2 months ago

Hal Linden is a goddamn national treasure.

Dimitar
Dimitar
2 months ago

I think Citroen were starting to feel the pressure of 80s german brands selling ‘sporty premium’ hence the aggressive 80s ads leaning into turbo, speed and power, which to me don’t fit the brand at all. Contrast this with earlier Citroen ad material which was so so dreamy and fitting to the cars, for example Quatre Saisons by Andre Martin
1979-citroen-four-seasons-3.jpg (3008×2187) (driventowrite.com)

EricTheViking
EricTheViking
2 months ago

Just a French avant-garde tradition…

Albert Ferrer
Albert Ferrer
2 months ago

It was not all fun and games in Europe in 80s in Europe. I mean, you could also drive a Ford Taunus if you were so inclined.

You could also argue that the CX was more an executive saloon rather than a family hauler.

In any case, looking at contemporary Citroens, one could argue that Ford may have had a point…

VS 57
VS 57
2 months ago

Take the lead from Honda again and employ Lou Reed in promotion of The New for 1985…

Bendanzig
Bendanzig
2 months ago

That Ford ad is awesome. I like how they tilted and cropped the lower photo to make it look like it has the power to drive uphill with ease. “What do you mean the trees will make it obvious this was taken on flat ground?”

A. Barth
A. Barth
2 months ago

I thought it was interesting that in 1983 Ford was discussing family-hauler engine displacement in liters rather than in cubic inches.

Then I remembered (?) that the Mustang GT was already badged as “5.0” at that point, so I started looking into it.

The 1981 Country Squire wagon ad refers to the “5.0 liter” V-8 and the 1979 LTD ad mentions the “5.0 litre” [sic] engine.

The 1977 LTD ad doesn’t mention displacement at all, just calls it a V-8. But that same ad also said the LTD “marries the quality and comfort of an LTD with the sporty flair of the Mustang II“. 😐

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago
Reply to  A. Barth

The first thing that came to mind were 70’s Firebird’s with 6.6l on the hood scoop. I think the SD Firebirds had 7.4l on the hood scoop too. I wonder if that’s the earliest use of liters on American made cars

A. Barth
A. Barth
2 months ago
Reply to  Rusty S Trusty

That’s a good question. I was thinking primarily about Ford (because they’re kind of a stodgy company) but I think you’re right. IIRC Chevy and Mopar were using CID for the fender and hood badges in the 1970s.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago
Reply to  A. Barth

I bet Jason knows. Too bad he’s indisposed today.

AlterId
AlterId
2 months ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Ford had the “7-Litre” sports package on the Galaxies in 1966 and the XL in 1967, most of which had the 428 (a very few had the high-performance 427, but that precluded options like air conditioning.)

V10omous
V10omous
2 months ago
Reply to  A. Barth

I always figured the switch to liters was to hide the effects of downsizing from the least curious consumers.

If you’re selling a 460 one year and a 302 the next, that isn’t going to sound great. But a 5 Point Oh sounds new and fresh!

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
2 months ago

No way an American automaker would’ve used Grace Jones in an ad. In those days, she was at the cutting edge of edgy.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
2 months ago

The thing about the Ford ad is…that is how many people looked in the ’80s.

If you’ve only experienced the decade via movies and tv, you’re forgiven for thinking everyone was constantly wearing a riot of neon, your dad dressed like he was on Miami Vice, and your mom would be sporting a Madonna-style hairdo. Nope, not even close. It was a ton of earthtones, brown predominating, and the polyester-crazy of the ’70s hung on like a targa-top 911 in the curves.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
2 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Yep, that looks like the guy who’d sell you a new kitchen floor at the local discount tile & carpet showroom, fill out the invoice in a fake wood paneled office heaped with papers, with a rattly air conditioner sticking out of the wall and a slight nicotine glaze on most surfaces, while the bored kids sat in the corner flipping through a book of carpet samples. That was life in the 80s

CampoDF
CampoDF
2 months ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

You were there too? That perfectly describes the GM’s office at a Chrysler/Plymouth dealership in VA where my dad negotiated and bought our first of many Plymouth Voyagers.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
2 months ago
Reply to  CampoDF

That was every small business’ office at the time. Also, all construction trailers. Calendar on the wall next to the steel filing cabinet might be dated November 1979 because nobody’s bothered to replace that one in a few years, who cares?

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Somewhere in that room is a wooden console TV with a cable box covered in a printed vinyl woodgrain sticker sitting on top of it. It gets like 30 channels!!!

Data
Data
2 months ago
Reply to  Rusty S Trusty

Have you been to my childhood family room? We called it “The Den”.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago
Reply to  Data

That vinyl woodgrain sticker was put on the cable box specifically to match the wood paneled walls of “The Den”.

Data
Data
2 months ago
Reply to  Rusty S Trusty

You have been there! It did have that thin wood paneling on at least one wall. The console TV had some Hummel type figurines on top and the cordless phone base station (high tech circa 1984).

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
2 months ago
Reply to  Rusty S Trusty

With just an Atari 2600 to keep me entertained back then I occasionally got bored and at some point figured out that by turning that 30+ channel set-top box to 23 (from 24), cranking the fine-tuning dial up as far as it would go, and turning the main dial from 3 to 4 on the 19-inch RCA TV, HBO would come in nice and clear and best of all, free! The parents were thrilled, yet still tried to keep me from watching it.

Never did tell them how doing the same thing a few channels higher would bring in Cinemax.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago

Back when all the scrambling and pixelating in the world couldn’t suffice to conceal the sheer enormity of the bush.

10001010
10001010
2 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Can confirm. I recently dug up an old family photo from the early 80s. We’re wearing a little more color than that family but not by much and all of us have the same dour looks on our faces. It’s hilarious.

Beasy Mist
Beasy Mist
2 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Brown times, those.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago
Reply to  Beasy Mist

That’s about as perfect of a one word description of the times as you could hope for. We had a brown Oldsmobile with a brown interior, brown wall panels, brown carpet, brown members only jackets, a brown refrigerator, brown furniture….

Maymar
Maymar
2 months ago
Reply to  Rusty S Trusty

What if Eiffel 65 were American.

Beasy Mist
Beasy Mist
2 months ago
Reply to  Maymar

OMG hahaha.

ESO
ESO
2 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

The cultural hangover from the 70’s sure lasted a long time in retrospect, didn’t it?

Former freedom loving hippies being forced into becoming yuppies, but not quite making it yet and wondering what the hell happened to the good times they used to have when they were younger.

Former latchkey freedom loving kids, being forced to act like Reagan Youth, baby on board, just say no, AIDS, etc. and wondering what the hell happened to the good times they were just sure they were going to have when they grew up, after all they had seen when they were younger.

Yeah, I was there too as a kid and as strange as it seemed at the time while living through it, it’s much stranger to look back at it now. The facial expressions, the mood, the subject matter, all of it seemed just wrong back then, and it wasn’t really clear how we got there or how we could reverse it or at least set things on a brighter course.

Guess things haven’t changed since then, or maybe they really just go in continual cycles…

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
2 months ago
Reply to  ESO

It’s said that’s why as a generation, we’re so laid back – growing up with the threat of global thermonuclear war (to reference a classic movie) combined with all the discordant influences of the time kinda makes everything seem pretty minor in comparison. As a song once put it, “yeah, whatever, nevermind…”

ESO
ESO
2 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Robot voice: “Would you like to play a game?”

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
2 months ago

A) great job Bishop! Is Torch okay, tho?

B) wait, the CX ISN’T a hatchback?!?

Edit: just Googled it and what the actual fuuuu…

Last edited 2 months ago by StillNotATony
Mechjaz
Mechjaz
2 months ago
Reply to  The Bishop

Whew. If you had said Jason was in Econoline I’d have been worried.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
2 months ago

I love a CX. I also love these ads. A weird ad for a weird car for weird people. Perhaps they were on to something.

Church
Church
2 months ago

Reminder: boy, did we do a lot of cocaine in the ’80s.

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
2 months ago
Reply to  Church

It was so cheap

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