About As Cheap As They Get These Days: 1998 Isuzu Amigo vs 1985 Olds Calais

Good morning, Autopians! Well, we’ve reached the end of a short week experimenting with a new format, and I’m calling it: it’s a failure. Yeah, I suppose it’s less work only tracking down one car per day, but it’s way more work trying to find something worth saying about the winner. Thank goodness none of the week’s choices got on a hot streak and kept winning; I don’t know what I would have done.

Yesterday‘s Amigo managed to de-throne that white Caravan, largely due to it being a stickshift, I think. A few of you lamented the lack of 4WD on a vehicle like this, but unless you want to do serious off-roading, I don’t think it’s a big deal. It’ll do donuts in a dirt field with your buddy hanging onto the roll bar for dear life; what more do you want?

Between these two, I have to pick the Amigo. I’ve never owned a vehicle like this, and I’ve always kind of wanted one. A soft-top Tracker would be my first choice, but this would do nicely too. And noisy lifters don’t scare me.

Since the Amigo is a cheap stickshift, I thought I should find another cheap stickshift to go with it. Naturally, when you think manual transmissions, you think ’80s Oldsmobiles, right? I found a rare five-speed Calais that’s strangely a cross between two cars I used to own. Let’s see if you like it better than the faded, noisy Isuzu.

1998 Isuzu Amigo S – $1,500

Engine/drivetrain: 2.2-liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD

Location: Rochester, WA

Odometer reading: 122,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives great, but has a lifter tick

Well, it looks like for a second day in a row, our winner has sold before we could look at it again, so the link in the headline above goes to yesterday’s Showdown. I guess we all have good taste in cheap cars. Or else there’s a dearth of good options in this price range, so anything even remotely decent or interesting gets snapped up right away. Anyway, we’ll pretend it’s still available, so feel free to choose it if you want.

The only troubling question with this little Amigo is a ticking lifter. It’s not always a huge problem; hydraulic lifters sometimes get a bit of grit or dirt stuck in the oil channel, so they don’t fill up with oil and take up the gap. There is a whole list of magic potions that people have used over the years to free up a sticky lifter: Sea-Foam, Marvel Mystery Oil, and good old automatic transmission fluid have all allegedly been used to quiet a noisy valvetrain. Do they work? Sometimes. If they don’t, you can pull the lifters and replace them, but you’re technically supposed to replace the cams at the same time. Can you get away with not replacing the cams on a $1,500 car? It’s probably worth a try.

1985 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais – $1,700

Engine/drivetrain: 2.5-liter overhead valve inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD

Location: Bristol, VA

Odometer reading: 93,000 miles

Operational status: “Runs and drives” – that’s all we get

GM’s X platform is often called a failure, due to the massive number of recalls in its first year and the resulting sales drop, but what it should really be thought of is practice. Lessons learned from the X body were applied to the A, J, and N bodies, which – love ’em or hate ’em – sold like hotcakes, and turned out to be really durable cars. This N-body Olds Cutlass Calais is from the first year of production, when it was available only as a two-door coupe.

Later in life, Oldsmobile blessed the Calais with a twin-cam Quad 4 engine and turned it into a bona-fide mini muscle car, but at its introduction only two far less exciting engines were available: Pontiac’s Iron Duke four-cylinder (re-christened the “Tech IV” for the ’80s) or a Buick-designed 3.0 liter V6. Since this is a base model, and has a five-speed stick, I’m guessing that it has the four, because I think the V6 was automatic-only. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The Duke may not be an exciting or powerful engine, but it’s absolutely bulletproof. All we get from the ad is “runs and drives;” I guess you’d have to go check it out to find out more.

There is one catch with this car: it has no keys. The ignition lock has been drilled out, and the car is now started with a screwdriver. The trunk lock is missing as well, and I guess you just don’t lock the doors. The seller says the title is clean, but you’d be wise to make sure it has their name on it. It’s kind of a shame, because the rest of the car looks like it’s in good shape. It’s still well under 100,000 miles, and both the inside and outside are really clean. It is missing the headliner fabric, but personally I’d prefer that to having it droop and hit me in the head while I’m driving.

This car is weirdly appealing to me because it’s basically a cross between two cars I used to have: a 1988 Olds Calais with a Quad 4 and a five-speed stick, and a 1982 Dodge 400 coupe, also with a stick, that was also lacking keys and had a drilled-out ignition when I bought it. Thirty years ago (good grief!), when I had that Dodge, I just bought a new ignition lock cylinder and popped it in. I wasn’t sure that was still the case, but it looks like Autozone has them.

Yes, I know, not long ago these would both have been $500 cars. It bothers me that they aren’t anymore, too. But they’re still only two or three payments on a new car. I guess those of us who like our rides cheap and cheerful will have to be okay with that. So make your choice, and I’ll see you back here next week with two new cars every day.

(Image credits: sellers)