All Hail The Also-Rans: 1977 Plymouth Gran Fury vs 1988 Mercury Cougar

Good morning! I thought we’d do another theme week this week: dead brands. But not defunct makers; just the brands that have been canceled. I’m not too fussed on prices, just picking things that catch my eye. I have, however, set a rule for myself that I can’t use the same marque twice. Today we’re scratching Plymouth and Mercury off the list.

Friday’s choices didn’t have much in common besides Ford engines, manual gearboxes, and rear-wheel-drive, and since they seemed to complement each other, I allowed a “both” option in the poll. And I always find it amusing when one car beats out “both” when the votes are tallied. It was a fairly even distribution of votes, actually, but more of you wanted just the TVR than both the TVR and the Ranchero.

Honestly, I’d have a hard time choosing between them as well. I think I’d have more day-to-day fun with the Ranchero. It’d be a hit in the hardware store parking lot, I’m sure. But after years of showing up to British car shows and parking in a row of fifteen other MGB GTs nicer than mine, I can see the value in a super-rare car. I would love to arrive at a gathering of car folks in that TVR.

The last twenty or so years have seen a serious thinning of the ranks in car nameplates, for a lot of reasons. But with a few exceptions, most of their products are barely missed. The old GM philosophy of “a car for every purse and purpose” made sense once upon a time, and was copied by rivals Ford and Chrysler, but starting in the 1970s, different versions of the same car across multiple divisions started to look an awful lot alike. And you can only do so much with trim to hide it. At some point, you start to wonder: if you have Dodge, do you really need Plymouth? And if you have Ford, what’s the point of Mercury? Let’s take a look at a couple cars from those also-ran brands.

1977 Plymouth Gran Fury Brougham – $5,000

Engine/drivetrain: 360 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Tomah, WI

Odometer reading: 52,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

The late 1970s were brutal on Detroit. Two gas crises, new emissions and safety regulations, and the arrival of more and better offerings from Japan and Europe hit sales hard, especially when it came to traditional full-sized sedans. All three big US automakers downsized their full-sized offerings during this time, but while GM slashed the size of whole model lines in 1977 and again in 1978, Ford and Chrysler didn’t do it all at once. Plymouth’s popular Fury nameplate moved to a smaller platform in 1975, but realizing that some buyers wouldn’t accept the smaller cars, it kept the big version in production for a couple more years, as the Gran Fury.

Big engines were still the order of the day, but this particular Fury has the smallest of three V8s offered: 360 cubic inches, instead of 400 or 440. There is an advantage to that; the larger V8s were equipped with Chrysler’s notorious Electronic Lean Burn system starting in 1976, and this engine does not appear to have it – usually there’s a control computer in a housing attached to the air cleaner. From the information I was able to find, Lean Burn didn’t rear its ugly head on the small-blocks until the year after this car was built. We don’t get much information on this car; the seller just says it’s in good shape for its age – but a cast-iron V8 and a Torqueflite automatic is a pretty bulletproof combination.

The odometer reads 52,000 miles, and looking at the interior, I believe that is probably original. This car belonged to someone’s grandparents, I assume, and didn’t get driven much. I saw a lot of old American cars like this when I worked at a service station in St. Paul; we’d see the cars twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall, with a few hundred miles added to the odometer each time. We’d dutifully change it to “winter” or “summer” oil, test the antifreeze, and send them on their way. I always kind of hoped I’d be in the right place at the right time to buy one, but knowing how I treated cars back then, I probably would have just trashed it. Hopefully whoever ends up with this one treats it well.

Outside, it’s pretty much rust-free, which actually tracks with a senior-owned car, even in northern Wisconsin. I bet this car was washed once a week, and stored in a garage when it wasn’t in use. I see a couple of spots here and there, but the trim is all there, as are all four hubcaps – which, as we all know from watching TV cop shows, means it has never been in a high-speed chase.

1988 Mercury Cougar LS – $8,000

Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Plano, TX

Odometer reading: 69,000 miles

Operational status: “Drives like a new car”

The Mercury Cougar bounced around between a lot of platforms over the years. It started out as a fancy Mustang, then became a fancy Torino, then it became a sister model to the Thunderbird, where it stayed well into the 1990s. When Ford restyled the Fox-platform Thunderbird in 1983, the Cougar got a new style too, but nowhere near as swoopy; it had a “formal” upright rear window instead of the Thunderbird’s fastback style, apparently intended to appeal to older buyers. Unfortunately, this roofline lent itself to that terrible ’70s styling holdover: the landau top.

The standard engine in the Cougar and Thunderbird of this era was Ford’s 3.8 liter Essex V6, which is one of the least inspiring powerplants of all time. It does its job, and nobody really cares one way or another about it. At least by 1988 it had received multiport fuel injection, and was backed by an AOD overdrive automatic in place of the old three-speed. The seller says this one runs and drives like a new car, with only 69,000 miles on the odometer, and it comes with a big folder of service receipts.

Inside, it looks practically new as well. The upholstery and carpet both look nice, and the seller says everything works including the air conditioning. It has a weird combination of equipment inside, though; you don’t often see a digital dash, bucket seats, and a column-mounted shifter. I assume the column shifter is another concession to Mercury buyers who were put off by the Thunderbird’s modernity.

It’s clean as a whistle outside, and it’s a nice color, but man, does that landau top look out of place. The fake wire wheel covers don’t help much either. The sportier versions of this car actually look pretty good, even with the weird roofline, but this broughamed-up version looks older than 1988. Still, I bet it would be a big hit with the ’80s nostalgia crowd.

I like seeing survivors like these still out and about. Neither one was a special car when it was new, except to the person who signed the paperwork and drove it home for the first time. Those original owners are likely gone, their brands are gone too, and a lot has changed in the world since they first rolled off their assembly lines – but these cars have hardly changed at all, and there’s a comfort in that. Driving a well-preserved old car like one of these two is about as close as you’ll get to a time machine. How far back do you want to go?