Happy Friday, Autopians! It’s time for another four-way shootout, and boy is it a strange one. You know it has been a bizarre week when the least odd winner was a Fiero with screwed-on fender flares. Maybe next week I’ll counterbalance it by making you choose from the most boring cars I can find.
It’s no surprise that a van used for a bachelor party weekend isn’t, in fact, a desirable vehicle. You will simply never get the BO and beer farts out of that interior, no matter what methods you resort to. And as much fun as a Gambler event looks like, and I do hope to experience one for myself one day, actually driving around in a car that has been so transformed takes a special kind of thick skin, and I’m not surprised most of you don’t have it. I sure don’t.
So the Fiero it is. And while we’d all rather have an ’88 Formula or GT, an ’84 with a stick is probably 75% as much fun, for about 10% of the price. Undo whatever the seller did to the taillights, remove the bra on the front, add some big-ass driving lights, and go bomb around.
So that’s our foursome for the week. Let’s recap our winners, and then you can pick your favorite. No weird themes or rules this time; these cars are weird enough.
1984 Pontiac Fiero – $2,500
The Pontiac Fiero is one of those cars I should have bought when they were everywhere in good condition for $1,000. They weren’t exactly rare; Pontiac built almost 400,000 of them over five years, and for the longest time, basic four-cylinder versions like this were unwanted and therefore cheap. Now, $2,500 gets you this one, which, while it runs and drives fine, has suffered some cosmetic indignities that aren’t going to be easily remedied.
The biggest problem is still the taillights: it looks like someone painted over them and stuck big black chunks of God-knows-what on them. I doubt they still function as taillights or brake lights. You can find used taillights on eBay, but that seems to be about the only source, unless you get lucky and find one in your local junkyard.
1964 Studebaker Champ 3/4 Ton Pickup – $4,900
Old trucks are a great choice for a classic vehicle because they can earn their keep instead of just being purely for entertainment. Are they fun to drive? Well, not in the twisty-road, rev-matching downshift way you’re probably thinking of, they’re not. But if bombing down a back road at 50 MPH with your arm out the window is your scene, this is your vehicle.
This Studebaker offers bragging rights over typical Chevy and Ford trucks by being so rare. Yes, that means you’ll have to work harder to find some parts, but the conversations at Cars & Coffee will be worth it.
1966 Austin FX4 London Taxi – $3,000
And speaking of conversation starters, how about a vehicle that has carried thousands of strangers on short jaunts all over one city? This Austin FX4 was created for the sole purpose of being a taxicab, and more specifically, a London taxicab. Out of that context, it doesn’t really make much sense. For one thing, it’s slow: It’s hard to find exact specs for this car, but one source I found shows a 0-60 time of 36 seconds and a top speed of 65 MPH. It probably spent most of its service life at half that speed or less.
It is instantly recognizable, iconic, and charming, however. You will not be left alone if you drive this. One of them showed up to the All-British Field Meet in Portland last year, and it had a crowd around it all day, even among that jaded bunch. You’d better be ready to answer questions, and let people sit in the back.
1989 Laforza – $6,500
Automotive history is littered with failures, small companies that didn’t make it, grand ideas that didn’t pan out for one reason or another. Laforza is one such company; Rayton-Fissore, an Italian coachbuilder, took an Iveco truck chassis, stuck an SUV body on it designed by Tom Tjaarda and built by Pininfarina, stuffed a Ford truck engine and transmission under the hood, and sold twelve hundred of them.
These orphans make for cool conversation pieces, but finding parts to keep them on the road can be a challenge. Luckily, like most such cars, the Laforza borrows heavily from other automakers’ parts bins, so finding what you need is often just a matter of knowing how to cross-reference.
So there they are, your choices for the week. Use whatever criteria you see fit to choose your favorite, but do explain your choice in the comments. It’s more fun that way. See you next week!
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Every fiber of my being said Laforza, but I had to go Studebaker at the click.
Gotta go w/ my gut and choose the Studebaker truck…I knew the Champ would be Champion!
What a Champ!
I can say that the 0-60 time for the London taxi of 36 seconds is impossible. That’s what it would be if you dropped it off a building. My much later 1994 Fairway Driver London Taxi with a 80hp Nissan Diesel is about 40-50 seconds to 60 on flat ground and max speed is about 75. I wish I had space in my stable for another one. They’re so much fun to drive!
Studebaker all day, every day, and twice on Sunday.
Cheap wins in this showdown; we’ll take the Fiero.
Really tough call between the cab and the Studebaker, but the truck looks like it would be less work. Going with the Champ.
I like the cab specifically for myself and my tastes. If I’m honest, the Studebaker pickup is probably a better use of money.
Yeah, but how are we going to be able to lie to someone else if we can’t lie to ourselves?
The Brit has this one. Imagine throwing around something that slow.
The Studebaker is my choice. There’s a lot of really unique options (all arguably orphans, too) this week, but the Champ rides that perfect equilibrium of being unique enough to get attention but not so much that you’re up a creek anytime something goes wrong. Plus… that patina is just *chef’s kiss*
Fiero is next. Followed by the London cab. Those two are neat and cheaper, but they’d take too much work and expense to get them to a place I’d want them. The Laforza is a distant last.
Studebaker!!!
STU! DUH! BAY! KER!!!
The rest are just the wrong choice. I mean, it’s the Champ, right?
London Cab for me. It’s a much more useful and interesting vehicle for my purposes than all the others.
The cab, because it was tied with the Fiero and it deserves better than that.
Not a big fan of any of these turds.
Especially the drug binge mods on the Fireairo.
But wondering about how badly a near 60 year old Brit taxi must smell after decades of tourist wet farts…
Well played Mark.
I thought about being sensible and picking the Studebaker pickup, but then decided to spend half as much money having twice as much fun by rallycrossing the Fiero.
The Laforza seems a bit much for what it is, unless you’re an enthusiast. The Fiero isn’t terrible, but cars with crappy mods like this used to be dirt cheap in classifieds. Probably been driven too hard, too. The cab is actually an interesting project, but it’ll be tough to work on over here. So I went with the Studebaker. Straightforward vehicle to work on and has character.
My thought process overall aligns with yours. I went Studebaker and will enjoy trundling down the country back roads. I want the Laforza and think I can keep it going, but not at that price in comparison.
Irrational Studebaker fan, so easy choice for me but I also completely get it if someone chose the London Cab or the Laforza. In fact, despite my Studebaker love I might have picked the Laforza had it been closer to original.
No such thing.
The cab. You can swap a good engine and road trip the hell out of it, or convert it to EV and sell it to NYC or Boston hipsters for twice you spent on it. Or just drive it as it is if you live in NYC or Boston.
Studebaker please. Old red American pickup that can do stuff. The taxi could be cool for a day rolling up to people on corners and then saying sophisticated things like “ello gov’ner” and “want to have a bit of fun?”. After that it would get old fast or I’d be pulled over for being a public nuisance so Champ it is!
Randomly, the facility keys I was handed yesterday were on a Studebaker Hawk key ring. Though they’ve had a stock Hawk and a hot-rodded Champ in the family for a half-century, the lady had never heard of the Studebaker Grove. So I got to evangelize about The Autopian a bit and we had a moment.
Voted Champ
Champ all they way. My niece and nephew have given me the nickname Uncle Studebaker, so I really need to live up to that name.
Full disclosure, the nickname does not come from the car maker, there is a local dog in their area named Studebaker and they liked the name. If I am named after a dog, at least it is a dog with a cool name.
“We named the dog Indiana.”
“…the dog. …You’re named after the dog?!”
The Studebaker, because I’m already envisioning pulling it into the little hardware store in the cornfields outside of town.
I’m predicting another win for the Champ. There’s nothing more stereotypically American than an old pickup truck. Throw in a gimme cap or straw cowboy hat, a big old mutt hanging its head out of the passenger window, a Winchester repeating rifle in a back window gun rack, a bunch of rusted machine parts sliding around in the bed, and a Coors Banquet beer sweating a precarious perch on the dash and you’ve got yourself the New American Gothic illustration.
There are no good choices here. And what I mean by that, of course, is that there are no bad choices here.
Each of these will draw a certain kind of attention while you’re driving them around town. The taxi is the whimsical kind that I crave, so that’s my choice.
I have a strong suspicion this will be a blowout win for the Studebaker, which I fully support
I voted for the Champ, as it’s the coolest of the rides, but really didn’t anticipate such a one-sided beat down.