Do you ever get the suspicion that some people are paid perhaps just a little bit too much? Certainly, it’s not about having anything against compensation for a job well done, but more wondering if the end result was worth the scratch. It doesn’t happen often in the automotive industry, but when it does, it can produce some amusing results. For example, Audi’s new Chinese-market sub-brand is here, and while we knew it wouldn’t feature any familiar logos, it, uh, it’s called AUDI. Who’s on first?
Yes, Audi’s decided that the solution to differentiating its joint-venture electric vehicles made with Chinese automaker is all-caps, like a lowball Facebook Marketplace offer. It’s a truly confounding branding decision. It’s a bit like the diet version of that “Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc by Marc Jacobs” clothing label, except with cars. While this probably wouldn’t be confusing at all for Western audiences in a pre-internet world considering nobody would’ve heard of all-caps AUDI by Audi, information travels fast, so here we are.
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Basically, what you need to know is that the Audi logo is four rings, but the AUDI logo is a wordmark. Wait, that’s not going to be clear for anyone using text-to-speech. The Audi logo is four rings but the AUDI by Audi logo is a wordmark. Or is it AUDI for Audi by Audi in collaboration with SAIC? God, imagine the voice-controlled in-car assistant on this thing. Anyway, AUDI isn’t Audi except it totally is Audi, but not from Germany, but inspired by Germany. Still with me?
Anyway, AUDI by Audi has a concept car called the — oh no — Audi E concept: AUDI. So it’s an AUDI, which isn’t an Audi, but it’s also an Audi. Anyway, it looks pretty great, even if there’s a whiff of Sweden to the rear lighting. It’s sleek, minimalist, upscale, oh, and a wagon. Maybe even an Avant, or maybe not.
What’s certain is that it’s fast as all get-out. Dual electric motors churning out 764 horsepower can rocket this thing from zero to 62 mph in 3.6 seconds. That’s BMW M5 quick. Oh, and thanks to an 800-volt architecture, it should charge quickly. Sure, a range of 434 miles on the extremely lenient CLTC cycle should be plenty for most, but it’s nice to know this new architecture can be juiced up in a jiffy.
Oh, and then there’s the interior, where things get weird. I’m not talking about the digital side-view mirror situation, that’s been a thing in the rest of the world for a while. No, I’m talking about stuff like a lower dashboard textured like a popcorn ceiling and an orb in the middle of the dashboard, which is apparently the digital assistant. In all seriousness, I do like the fluted elements in the door cards and the light, airy wood. For the market this is meant for, the cabin nails the brief.
Audi says to expect the first AUDI cars to go on sale in China in 2025. For the sake of clarity, we’re exclusively talking about the Chinese-exclusive stuff, not the models also sold in the rest of the world. The first three models will compete in the midsize and full-size arenas, so expect a certain level of glamor from them. Anyway, hats off to whoever decided the sub-brand should just be the main brand but in all caps. That’s a proper 4:45-on-a-Friday idea, which means whoever dreamt this up is probably good at darts.
(Photo credits: Audi. Or maybe AUDI. It’s hard to tell.)
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The naming is absurd…this vehicle is also so fucking terribly ugly front and back…it has a gaping mouth on the back too?! How is that even possible? The interior is just as bad w/ all the screens and ugly shit
EV’s are TRASH…gasoline forever!
Not only confusing, but irritating to deal with if you own it. One of the reasons I sold my classic Mini was finding parts was super annoying, and you had to start differentiating Mini with MINI, and the search results were 95% BMW MINI stuff. I miss the car but the parts sourcing was a literal nightmare.
Clarity and brand hierarchy were Audi 5000 on this one.
You’ve got it wrong. You’re supposed to SHOUT its name. Like, “AUDI!”
We joked about this in slack… do you have to SHOUT AUDI for the Voice control to work???
I pronounce triple A batteries in the same way.
The opportunity for Aud-E was there, and they didn’t take it…
To be honest I like it better than the 4 rings. They have a simple short name, may as well just use that, not like Chevrolet more like Ford.
But in the context of a new ‘brand’ it’s dumb. Like a company I worked for had a name related to old things, like how ADT was American District Telegraph, and they made this big hype about how we were ‘rebranding’ and it was gonna be huge, and we though cool, maybe not be named after something from 100 years ago nobody uses any more so when I tell people where I work that no we don’t deal with those type of machines, but nope, they just change the font and style of the brand logo, that was it, and they spent thousands and thousands, possibly even a few million to rebrand, so stupid.
I would have named the EV subgroup, OUTIE. And renamed the legacy ICE subgroup INNIE. And I would rename the entire Volkswagen Group NAVEL.
“What are you doing?”
“Just staring at my NAVEL.” /s
I actually thought “Voltswagen” was so clever (Their April Fool’s joke)