Do you ever get the suspicion that some people are paid perhaps just a little bit too much? Certainly, it’s not about having anything against compensation for a job well done, but more wondering if the end result was worth the scratch. It doesn’t happen often in the automotive industry, but when it does, it can produce some amusing results. For example, Audi’s new Chinese-market sub-brand is here, and while we knew it wouldn’t feature any familiar logos, it, uh, it’s called AUDI. Who’s on first?
Yes, Audi’s decided that the solution to differentiating its joint-venture electric vehicles made with Chinese automaker is all-caps, like a lowball Facebook Marketplace offer. It’s a truly confounding branding decision. It’s a bit like the diet version of that “Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc by Marc Jacobs” clothing label, except with cars. While this probably wouldn’t be confusing at all for Western audiences in a pre-internet world considering nobody would’ve heard of all-caps AUDI by Audi, information travels fast, so here we are.
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Basically, what you need to know is that the Audi logo is four rings, but the AUDI logo is a wordmark. Wait, that’s not going to be clear for anyone using text-to-speech. The Audi logo is four rings but the AUDI by Audi logo is a wordmark. Or is it AUDI for Audi by Audi in collaboration with SAIC? God, imagine the voice-controlled in-car assistant on this thing. Anyway, AUDI isn’t Audi except it totally is Audi, but not from Germany, but inspired by Germany. Still with me?
Anyway, AUDI by Audi has a concept car called the — oh no — Audi E concept: AUDI. So it’s an AUDI, which isn’t an Audi, but it’s also an Audi. Anyway, it looks pretty great, even if there’s a whiff of Sweden to the rear lighting. It’s sleek, minimalist, upscale, oh, and a wagon. Maybe even an Avant, or maybe not.
What’s certain is that it’s fast as all get-out. Dual electric motors churning out 764 horsepower can rocket this thing from zero to 62 mph in 3.6 seconds. That’s BMW M5 quick. Oh, and thanks to an 800-volt architecture, it should charge quickly. Sure, a range of 434 miles on the extremely lenient CLTC cycle should be plenty for most, but it’s nice to know this new architecture can be juiced up in a jiffy.
Oh, and then there’s the interior, where things get weird. I’m not talking about the digital side-view mirror situation, that’s been a thing in the rest of the world for a while. No, I’m talking about stuff like a lower dashboard textured like a popcorn ceiling and an orb in the middle of the dashboard, which is apparently the digital assistant. In all seriousness, I do like the fluted elements in the door cards and the light, airy wood. For the market this is meant for, the cabin nails the brief.
Audi says to expect the first AUDI cars to go on sale in China in 2025. For the sake of clarity, we’re exclusively talking about the Chinese-exclusive stuff, not the models also sold in the rest of the world. The first three models will compete in the midsize and full-size arenas, so expect a certain level of glamor from them. Anyway, hats off to whoever decided the sub-brand should just be the main brand but in all caps. That’s a proper 4:45-on-a-Friday idea, which means whoever dreamt this up is probably good at darts.
(Photo credits: Audi. Or maybe AUDI. It’s hard to tell.)
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I know that electric car manufacturers have a limited budget of $1.59 per car for the instrument panel (hence, no switchgear), but is anyone able to make one that’s more visually interesting than a 2019 Otis elevator? Upon entering the car, I fully expect to hear a disembodied somewhat bored female voice intoning “door…opening,” “door…closing,” “ground floor.”
Branding is silly, but that car is sex.
It’s got nothing on the song Black Sabbath from the album Black Sabbath by the band Black Sabbath!
…anyway, Audi, and by extension AUDI, are dangerously close to being cooked. At least they’re making these things over there so we don’t have to be tortured by the decisions that are made for what’s quite possibly the least tasteful car market in the world.
Maybe you should do that too, BMW. Introduce bmw for the Chinese market and keep all of your abominable designs over there.
So if someone in Saudi Arabia buys one is it a “Saudi’s AUDI by Audi”?
Damn you.
Kinda ironic considering Honda started using lower case H-o-n-d-a lettering on their Prologue EV for the first time.
So it’s Audi, AUDI, and the French word for turd?
Yeah. Kinda like the ’80s band “Tony! Toni! Toné!” except that the final “Toné” is replaced with “Turdi.”
Turdy! Turdi! Turdé! has done it again.
Well, I can definitely that this is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen this week, and I’ve seen a lot of dumb stuff this week, to put it mildly. Electric subbrands in general are an idiotic idea that will be completely irrelevant in a few years when all cars are electric anyway, and are counterproductive in terms of getting the general public to accept electric cars as the new normal. However, I guess, in this case, they had to create a new brand of some sort, because the joint venture requires a dedicated dealer sales channel not shared with Audi’s other operations or something? Maybe, but, if so, how do they not get sued by Audi franchise holders over sales territories? Could the JV just make cars and sell them to Audi for distribution? Could they have used a joint name, like Shanghai-Audi, or revived a heritage name from one partner, like Auto Union or Wolseley?
I don’t usually like rooting for other people to lose their jobs, but if Audi is laying people off anyway, maybe these can be the first ones in line.
It’s amazing how long these people can last while people actually contributing to profit centers get laid off. It all depends on how execs sort their Excel spreadsheets, and if it’s by COGS, people like this are home free.
They should call them MAGA – Make Audi Great Again
I accept Venmo as payment AUDI
Trumpchi is already a thing, so why not, I suppose
When I need a pick-me-up I go read Torch’s article about their English marketing materials over at the lighting site.
If GAC Wants To Break Into The American Market They Need To Make Their Website Less Hilarious
Is it Jacob or Mark? I’m lost…
This looks like what an AI image generator would spit out if you asked for an Audi EV wagon concept, and I mean that in all of the worst ways possible.
I appreciate this move towards proper Latin orthography but for full credit they should have gone with AVDI.
JT and DT, you should start a Chinese version of the site called AUTOPIAN. You are welcome, you owe me $1.3 million. (Am I doing it right?)
Should have called it AUD-e…
Or Aud-i.
If only Audi had some historic names they could use, some sort of Auto Union of nameplates…
BRING BACK HORCH YOU COWARDS
After rage commenting that as a joke, turns out that there was a top “Horch” trim level on the A8 in the Chinese market in 2021, so in some ways there’s already at least a smidgen of brand association, and prestige, which makes it an even stronger candidate for the EV sub brand.
Torch needs a Horch. Change my mind.
I was thinking that “Wanderer” might work as an homage to Auto Union’s history. Actually, there’s another Auto Union name that could be wordmarked perfectly just for electric cars: DkW
Someone must have finally told them that e-tron (étron) is the French word for “turd”.
Merde!
Man leave it to the Germans to make MBAs look like absolute creative geniuses who wield the might power of brand with complete mastery
The digital assistant orb should be red and lock you outside the car when it feels threatened.
I guess you have to pronounce it really loud and with a german accent: AUDI
Because Screamed German always is soothing.
OUTIE!
I wouldn’t say that’s a stupid naming idea, but I would say it’s STUPID