Yesterday, Jason wrote about how Michael Bay is making an OutRun movie. Everyone at the Autopian is excited/worried about this, and naturally Jason devoted one of his characteristic unhinged posts to the topic. Among the hyperlinks within the story was one that promised the payoff of a “disturbing psychosexual drama based on Q*Bert,” from the director of such cinema shockers as Midsommar and Hereditary no less. I won’t spoil the fun. If you missed it, take a look back at the story now.
I love the responses. AssMatt:
You know damn well why I clicked that.
NewBalanceExtraWide:
Jason doesn’t watch the web statistics, but I hope that link gets more clicks than anything else on the site today, just to see David shake his head in futility.
Ottomottopean:
In answer to the question, “why would you click that?” I have to respond; in what universe would I not click that? I had to know how anyone would use Q-Bert for that or anything else!
In other news, my wife’s Scion iQ has made a horrible clicking noise for the past six months. The issue turned out to be a chrome trim ring attached to her wheels. Martin Dollinger had the perfect response:
Finally: a clickbait article at the Autopian.
Earlier today, Jason published a Cold Start about the time he sort of won a magazine contest with his knowledge of obscure car facts, and hilarious humor.
NoMoreSaloons:
I love that if they hadn’t included your name in the article, we still could have nailed down who sent in the answer just from the wacky response. You haven’t changed sir, and we’re the better for it.
Sid Bridge:
I can’t believe they didn’t publish the three extra pages you wrote on the Adler’s taillights.
Finally, here’s a fun fact about the Renault Encore from this morning’s Shitbox Showdown. Dude Drives Cars:
Fun fact: the starter from a Chevette can be made to fit an Encore. The distinct lack of parts for French cars in 1980’s rural Canada is responsible for this helpful (?) discovery. Mon dieu!
Have a great day, everyone!
Top graphic images: Sega; Gottlieb/Konami
The wording of the Q-bert thing makes me wonder if it’s based on the unusual mating habits of hyenas and Q-bert’s nose.
Clicked it? I also googled it after the fact.
In another note I once used a Pinto starter on my 71 Toyota Carina when there were none around the junkyards of Houston. Only one bolt hole matched, but it hung on tight, without issues.
I think Michael Bay could make a solid OutRun movie if he sticks to special effects and nothing else. Pearl Harbor sucked because he spent half the movie on a love triangle that nobody gave a shit about. The scenes around that were so bad that I wondered if the girl was waiting to see if a giant asteroid would become her third option. Then he did a massive disservice to the Doolittle Raid by tacking it on at the end as the solution to the impossible choice between the turd sandwich and the giant douche.
Hmm, I may have gotten a wee bit off topic there. Suffice to say Michael Bay is a bad director but I think he could pull off a video game movie because there would be no pressure to do anything but VROOOOOM SCREEEECH CRASH CRUNCH BOOOOM for 90 minutes.
His earlier work, like The Rock, was fun. He’s better when he has to be restrained by a budget. That would be the key.
While I’m not familiar with his entire catalog, I can’t think of any movie he did that wasn’t something you typically forget as you walk to the car after it’s over. Something stupid and meaningless like a movie of Outrun is his wheelhouse. Not that I think it will be any good. I also hated Pearl Harbor.
This seems more Peter Berg/Battleship vibe to me – tissue thin plot, pretty faces and lots of action sequences… Wait, are Bay and Berg related? Has anyone ever seen both of them at the same time??