Welcome back! I’m sticking with the “one stock, one modified” theme today, but this time it’s two very similar cars – or at least they started out that way. One is hardly recognizable now. Whether or not that’s a good thing, I leave up to you.
You weren’t any more impressed with yesterday‘s half-assed Civic boom-box conversion than I thought you would be; only a handful of you chose it over the stock but threadbare Accord. And I have to say that I agree with you. If I were younger, I might be more willing to take on the Civic and yank out all that foolishness in the back, but at my age, just give me the one with a functional interior.
I do have to wonder what the end goal with that Civic was. I’m sure the builder of that box had some grand plan in mind, but grand plans are meaningless without follow-through. You gotta finish what you start.
And that thought leads us nicely to today’s cars. The Ford Taurus is nobody’s idea of a cool car, except maybe in its SHO flavor, but it did put Ford back on the family-sedan map in the ’80s and ’90s after the doldrums of the Fairmont and Granada. Ford sold every one of them it could build for years and years, and that means they’ve been a staple of the used car market for a generation. The first and second-generation Taurus is getting a little scarce, but they’re still around if you look hard enough. You just have to realize that, once in a while, you find one that doesn’t look like a Taurus anymore.
1992 Ford Taurus GL – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0-liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Bowling Green, KY
Odometer reading: 67,000 miles
Operational status: “Runs great and ready to drive”
When Ford introduced the Taurus in 1986, it was a radical departure from most automotive styling, to say the least. It was designed to be aerodynamic, with smooth soft edges and curves, in contrast to the sharp-edged offerings from GM and Chrysler, or Ford’s own LTD sedans. I believe Ford even said it looked like “nothing else on the road,” which wasn’t strictly true; Audi’s 5000 sedan beat it to the punch by two years, and did it a lot more elegantly. But we’ll leave that discussion for another day.
The Taurus launched with a new engine, a 60-degree 3.0 liter V6 code-named the “Vulcan.” It wasn’t technologically advanced, but it was a good no-nonsense design that served Ford well for decades, finding its way into the Tempo, Ranger, and Aerostar along the way. The AXOD four-speed automatic connected to it didn’t gain the same reputation for reliability, but there are certainly worse automatic transmissions out there. This one has only 67,000 miles to its name, and the seller says it runs great.
Inside, it’s typical Taurus, which means comfy but not exciting. This one has a split bench seat and a column shift, and at least two, maybe three, aftermarket steering wheel covers. I’ve never understood that particular steering wheel fashion, but I suppose they’re easy enough to remove. The seller says the air conditioning works but is getting weak, which probably means it’s time for new seals, and probably a conversion to R-134a.
I don’t know what’s with the fish-eye photos in this ad; it makes it hard to see the car’s overall condition. I don’t see any rust, just some failing clearcoat and a couple of dings. And I can’t remember if the GL model bumpers were actually gray like this, or if they’ve faded from black.
1991 Ford Taurus “Tamaro” – $1,997
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0-liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Odometer reading: 283,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
Say you’ve got a beloved old beater, something you’ve owned for ages, and it’s getting a little tired. You could give up on it, just junk it and move on, but that’s not our style around here. It’s not this seller’s style, either; instead of giving up on this old high-mileage Taurus, he dove head-first into an epic customization, grafting fifth-generation Camaro front and rear bumpers onto it, blending them in with custom sheetmetal, and fixing a lot of other things along the way. There’s a build thread detailing the whole process, but all you really need to see to appreciate how much work went into this car is the “Before” picture.
Yep. Underneath all that flashy paint and custom bodywork is a rusty, run-of-the-mill 1991 Ford Taurus sedan, I believe also a GL model. It’s powered by the same Vulcan V6 driving the front wheels, and it’s closing in on 300,000 miles. It runs great, has had a ton of mechanical work done to it, and even the air conditioning works.
The car’s interior is all customized as well, but in the ad we only get this one tantalizing photo of, I believe, the back seat. Buried a few pages deep in the build thread are some more photos of the interior; I won’t post them here because I’m not sure I have permission, but check them out. The entire dashboard and all four door panels are custom-built. It’s a sight to behold. The seller says it now shows “significant wear,” but that’s all right; that just means he enjoyed it.
He also says the paint “isn’t great,” but considering the amount of fabrication work that went into this car, I think any flaws can be forgiven. And whatever you may think of this car, keep in mind that the seller had a vision, saw it through, and then drove and enjoyed the car for ten years, and is now offering it at a reasonable price instead of asking some ridiculous inflated number. And all of that deserves a lot of respect.
The car universe is a big one, and it takes all kinds. Some people delight in preserving and maintaining a car exactly as it left the factory, enjoying it for the anachronism it is, while others can’t leave any part of a car well enough alone, and have to make it their own. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle, I think. So which one of these is more your style – the fairly fresh original, or the wild custom job?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers; hat-tip to Opposite Lock user “awesomeaustinv” for the Tamaro link)
I hate it today and will still hate it Tamaro 😉
Stock Taurus for me!
Let me start by saying I love that the Tamaro exists. It’s so absurd that my phone just tried to autocorrect it to Aramark, and probably now thinks that I’m drunk off my ass. For my own money though I would have to go with the stock and low mileage example.
It’s giving serious “so bad it’s good” vibes for me. I’m trying to justify it by the fact it’s only bodywork, not too many functional changes on it.
They are probably a little faded but should be the stock bumpers on the ’92, that one is practically right out of the brochure. L/GLs had gray or two-tone schemes that year and for ’93 they all went to monochrome per the Taurus encyclopedia. To me the change was an improvement as the rockers being the main body color looked awkward on the rounder lined 2nd gen, but it could be the majority of 2nd gens being monochrome coloring my view of that. ’92 Sables did offer a proper two-tone that looked good though.
I was getting all set to make a similar comment, but you beat me to it. The only “acktually” I’ll add is the ’92 two-tone paint scheme was also available on the Taurus.
You’re right. I thought it did but didn’t see it explicitly mentioned on the spotter guide and the brochure didn’t have a pic, so didn’t know if I was Mandela effect-ing it. Your comment reminded me of the MT review of a 2-tone ’92 LX wagon also archived there.
That white/grey two-tone looked so good, especially on the Sable.
I’m not against whatever you choose to do with your car, but that “Tamaro” is just absolutely hideous. “The flaws can be forgiven”? Dude, the whole contraption cannot be forgiven.
I’d forgive it.
I can’t fathom why someone would take the time to convert a Taurus into a Camaro clone. I’m not a fan of replica/kit cars, but I can at least understand why someone might turn a Fiero into a Lamborghini; not everyone has Lamborghini money. But given the effort and expense put into the Taurus, the owner clearly has Camaro money. Taste in cars is subjective, but I’m genuinely puzzled as to why someone built this thing. I wouldn’t call it an abomination, but it probably shouldn’t exist nonetheless.
So I’ll go with the ’92 Taurus, I guess?
(edit: after reading the build thread, I still don’t understand this car, but I respect the hell out of the owner for building it. Very well done).
I wanted to vote for the Tamaro just out of respect for the build and the owner.
But the ’92 Taurus is still a dandy-looking car, and a comfy RED interior seems like a nice place to spend time, so we’ll take the stock one.
Tomaro, Tomahro, tomato, tomahto.It’s the stocker for me.
Disturbing amount of rust on the door bottoms and rockers in the Tamaro before picture. Is there actually steel under the plastic rocker trim? Car cancer.
Both of these cars can be started with a quarter, so anything over $.25 is too much to pay. I’d take the stock one.
The Tamaro is perfect for anyone wanting a 4-door Ford-based FWD Camaro with the interior out of a 70’s lowrider. So basically the guy who’s selling it.
Voted old school because it reminds me of my grandfather’s first gen Taurus wagon. Too bad this wasn’t a long roof. As for not seeing many old Tauruses, true, though I was cut off in a Publix parking lot last weekend by a senior citizen driving a sun ravaged third gen Taurus.
Where shopping is a pleasure, but the parking lot is a dance with death.
Part of me says the Tamaro is probably better maintained that the stock car. But I also don’t think I have the lack of self consciousness required to drive the Tamaro anywhere. So I guess stock model with weak a/c.
In the front view picture the Tomaro looks like a little kid in his dad’s shirt
I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally voted for the tamaro, whats up with not putting them in the poll in order of the post lol trying to trick u iup mark?
Voter Fraud! lol
Yes I noticed that too. A major breach of protocol.
Whoops, didn’t mean to cause confusion. The choices just read better in that order.
Heh. Sometimes my original headlines for these don’t make it to press, but there’s nothing stopping me from posting them in the comments. This one was “What Is And What Some Might Say Should Never Be,” probably too long and obscure, but how often do you get to make a Led Zeppelin reference about a Ford Taurus?
Well, you know any Taurus can have Good times, bad times, especially when the Levee breaks. If I moved into the US I’d pick the stock one and drive happily Over the hills and far away while singing my Immigrant song.
I’d have to be Dazed and confused to take the other one. Thank you.
This is borderline f-it money so I’d take the Tamaro solely to leave it at random car shows and bewilder spectators into thinking what the hell this monstrosity is and who on earth is insane enough to actually own it. I’ll even trailer it in like it’s a collector’s grade garage queen and totally not because it’s a polished shitbox that broke down 🙂
I like the cut of your jib!!
What’s a jib?
Promote that man.
Stock Taurus is less than an hour from me in Bowling Green! Also where I lived during college as I attended Western Kentucky University. Fun. I’ll take that one. Although, I appreciate the customization and “vision” of the Tamaro. I didn’t at first because I figured it was a granny-spec all original survivor that was cut up and made into that. Knowing it was a beater beforehand makes that more forgivable.
Best I can guess here is that the Tamaro owner had a milkshake made out of cocaine, Mountain Dew, Aderal, Monster Energy Drink and Gelato, used that to down a bowl of pills, washed it back with a case of 4Loko he had been hoarding, stuck a handful of LSD sugar cubes in his mouth, took a nitrous oxide enema, had a serious craving for tacos, went outside to his Taurus and woke up to this thing three months later.
Today is a day for bad decisions!! Gimme that Tamaro!!!
Sticking with “one for normal adults, one for their meth-head kids” theme, right?
Stock for me. I’m not sure what a normal adult looks like, but it can’t be worse than Skinny Pete.
I’ve seen the modern Camaro turned into a Trans Am, and an old Camaro turned into an even older one, but this was a first. It takes the whole “Fiero to Ferrari or Lamborghini” thing in a completely different direction. But not in a good way.
I guess it’s one way to get a four door Camaro. I’ll pass, though.
Going stock for this vote. I can appreciate the amount of what looks to be ok work that went the Tamaro but it just isn’t for me. At least he is honest about its faults.
This. I appreciate the effort, but that is not a result I want.
I had two 92 Taurus GLs (at the same time!). Great work/family cars. If the mileage is correct, that one still has a LOT of life left in it. If I was looking for a work beater, I wouldn’t hesitate (but I’d offer $2000, just because!). As for the other one, to each his own, I guess. At least he doesn’t think it’s worth big money because it’s “one-of-one completely custom”.
The all original one would be a perfect daily driver and do that pretty much forever. Plus, the bench couch is comfortable, though by no means supportive
oh god no. make it stop!
Maybe if I was young and wanted a fun ironic beater. Give me the stock car.