Good morning! Today’s Shitbox Showdown is brought to you by the letter C, and we’ve got two American classics for you to check out. One you might associate with Ricardo Montalban, the other with Danny DeVito – unless you’re too young for both of those references, in which case you have a lot to learn.
Yesterday’s derelict German coupes sent quite a few of you running for the hills, but for the souls brave enough to stick around and actually vote, the twelve-cylinder BMW was the clear choice. It certainly presents better, and you will have an easier time getting your hands on the parts that it needs.
But for me, it has to be the Bitter SC. Everybody has a “this cheap used BMW drove me insane and into the poorhouse” story; hell, I have a minor version of that story myself, from six months of E46 ownership. But not many people get the chance to revive a barn-find rarity like that SC. And honestly, I think it’s better than those photos let on. Get it out of that storage unit, hose off the dust, and you might be pleasantly surprised.
Today’s cars take us right back into the depths of the malaise era, but they also both push the nostalgia button pretty hard. One of them looks good but is a complete mystery mechanically, and the other needs a little sprucing up – and is a complete disaster mechanically. Hey, what did you expect? Let’s check them out.
1976 Chrysler Cordoba – $7,250
Engine/drivetrain: Overhead valve V8 of unknown displacement, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Yuma, AZ
Odometer reading: 90,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The personal luxury coupe craze may have been started by the Ford Thunderbird, but it arguably reached its peak with this car: the Chrysler Cordoba. Named after a city in Spain, this stylish coupe was sold for eight model years across two generations, and marketed as the perfect mode of transport for suave, debonair, golden-throated Mexican actors with hit TV dramas, or anyone who aspired to be such.
The first-generation Cordoba was available with one of three Chrysler V8s: the LA-block 318 and 360, and the B-block 400. The seller doesn’t say which this one has, and doesn’t provide any open-hood photos that might give clues, but based on its lack of exterior gingerbread, I’m guessing this is a fairly low-option car, and probably just has a 318. Nothing wrong with that; it’s a good engine, with lots of potential to wake it up if you so desire. The transmission is, of course, a three-speed Torqueflite automatic.
The low-option theme continues inside, with crank windows, and a vinyl bench seat in place of the Cordoba’s signature (but optional) Rich Corinthian Leather bucket seats. The good news is it’s in really good shape. The steering wheel rim is cracked, and I imagine the dash top is likewise cracked under that carpet toupee, but it’s totally presentable as is.
It’s really clean outside as well, and mercifully free of a landau vinyl top. The turbine-style wheels are an option, and they really suit it, but I’m not sold on the whitewalls. It looks like it might have a little more rake than it’s supposed to; I don’t know if the front torsion bars are sagging, or if the rear has been jacked up a bit, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be pointed downhill quite that much. It doesn’t look bad; it just doesn’t look standard.
1980 Checker Marathon – $6,000
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7 liter diesel overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Glen Allen, VA
Odometer reading: 177,000 miles
Operational status: Turns over but won’t start
I was surprised when I started entering the tags for this car into our content management system. Usually, if a tag has been used before, a suggestion will pop up when you start typing it in. But when I started typing “Checker Marathon,” I got nothing. Could it be that this mighty paragon of practicality, a car that steadfastly refused to update its styling in the slightest for twenty-one years, one of the greatest unsung American atuomotive icons of all time, has never been mentioned here? I refuse to believe it. But if that is in fact the case, I’m proud to be the one rectifying that oversight.
Checker cars were, of course, originally designed as taxicabs, with civilian versions like this coming along later. Thus, they were built to be robust and easy to service above all else, with lots of off-the-shelf parts; the front suspension of this car is basically that of a ’50s Ford. General Motors provided the powertrains starting in the ’60s, usually Chevy inline sixes or small-block V8s, but in 1980 a new option was offered: the Oldsmobile 350 diesel V8. It is incorrectly identified in the ad as a “Buick 6.2 liter diesel,” but no such engine existed. No, this is that greatest malaise-era GM folly, an engine almost universally derided – and almost always replaced with something better. This one has somehow managed 177,000 miles, but at the moment it does not run. No great loss. Yank it out, and drop in any number of GM gasoline V8s with the Buick-Olds-Pontiac bellhousing bolt pattern; they’ll bolt right up to this car’s TH400 transmission.
The parts-bin nature of the Marathon is on full display inside, with what is obviously a GM steering column and a Chevy steering wheel (without the Chevy logo). These cars were built to be comfortable enough to spend all day in, so there’s plenty of room, and I imagine that bench seat is pretty cushy, but you won’t find much in the way of creature comforts. It does look like it has air conditioning, and some sort of stereo, but that’s about it. The front upholstery looks dirty but all right; we don’t get a photo of the back.
The Marathon’s basic shape dates back to 1956, and it remained completely unchanged except for a few tiny details from 1961 to 1982 when Checker stopped building it. This one looks a little bit special, with its vinyl top and Lincoln-style oval opera windows in place of the normal rear quarter windows. It has a vaguely funereal look, and I wonder if it might have actually been owned by a funeral home or something. Marathons were typically seen as taxis, but they appeared anywhere someone needed a good, sturdy fleet car. It has a little bit of rust along the bottom, but for its age, it’s holding up remarkably well.
Either one of these would be a lot easier to live with than yesterday’s choices, but they’re both a lot more unique than your average Charger or Chevelle. One looks pretty much ready to go, and the other is ready for whatever engine you choose to stick in it. Which one interests you more?
Cleaner canted Cordoba conquers crusty crumbling Checker
This is easy, I love the checker. I’d possibly throw a gmt400 era 5.7 in, but it would be even better to stick a 6.5 diesel just for shits and giggles
“Corinthian” leather actually being made in New Jersey, I imagine you could reupholster those seats pretty easily. Cordoba is the easy choice today.
My mom had a Cordoba before I was born so I voted that. Well also because the condition of these two is night and day.
Cordoba gets my vote. That is a cool looking car. It also looks to be in very good condition. It is nice you can still buy a cool old car for this price. Underappreciated classic cars are great.
Man, you never see a slick-top Cordoba. And I think the whitewalls, while a skosh too wide, look great with those turbines. Merry Chrysler!
When I was a kid, a friend’s family had a Checker Marathon wagon. So cool. I also used to ride in Checker cabs in NYC. Dump that diesel lump and make this a sleeper.
Oh, what starts with a letter C?
Cookie starts with C
Let’s think of other things that start with C
Ah, ah, who cares about other things?
C is for cookie that’s good enough for me.
I’m only going to take the cookie, neither of these interest me.
I have to go with the Checker. It’s different, you see them almost never any more, and it’s a great blank slate to do something really interesting with it. For once, I’ll go with the LS swap, put in a Tremec 6-speed behind it, and give it a really wild paint scheme. Ditch the vinyl top and 2-tone the base colors. Maybe some ghost flames along the sides and hood.
That Checker is a taxi to hell. You will hate life behind the wheel of that thing. It will enjoy making you hate life.
That Checker just speaks to me, despite its fine Corinthian vinyl interior. I know the Cordoba makes more sense on every level; that 318/Torqueflite combo is bulletproof, had it in my 87 D200 truck. Always hoped my first diesel would be a M-B car or older Ram truck but I’m kinda fascinated with the infamous 5.7L diesel and getting it running. .
User name checks out.
Ha! Frank Wrench is a bit character from the show Arrested Development but it works for this site.
Ha, I’ve seen that Checker when passing through Glen Allen before, finally have a chance to see it up close. Cool car, but yeah something about that landau window just puzzles me too much.
The Cordoba seems like it was actually designed around the landau top. The rear quarter window and opera light just look super weird without it. Still better than the diesel Checker cab.
Sorry Checker, but I’ll take the Spy Kids’ grandpa’s car.
Given what I’ve read about that diesel, I’m impressed someone managed to push and/or tow one of these 177,000 miles.
Should pull that engine and study it for science.
My father had an 82-84 Chevy Caprice Estate wagon with the diesel. It went over 180k before he traded it in. It had the same steering wheel as the Checker in a beige color.
Maybe this is the third motor in this one LOL
No doubt. With the replacement engines came useful things like water separators, better gaskets, tougher head bolts. Still, there’s so little push from those diesels even after the improvements that this heavy Checker would be miserable to drive.
I might, MIGHT, be interested in the non-running Checker at 25% of that price.
No clue on how these are priced but six grand seems WAY too high for one that’s going to need a lot of work just to get it on the road.
That Checker just looks wrong with the opera windows. The Cordoba as least looks kind of sleek, so it got my vote.
The Thunderscreech of Shitbox Showdown matchups.
To paraphrase the test pilot who quit rather than drive one again: “You aren’t big enough and there aren’t enough of you to get me in those things”
“Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape.“
This Checker Marathon is talking to me.
I was fully prepared to check the box for the Checker, but once I saw how shabby it is and how CLEAN that Cordoba is, I had to pick the Mopar, even though it’s more expensive.
KHAAANNNN!
Still better than yesterday’s Kobayashi Maru test.
COTD
Always thought it was funny that he stole the Reliant. He was doing ads for the Reliant-K at the time.
“Comfort and reliability……. Then it has to be ‘The Reliant’.
This is Reliant. A starship in which you will enjoy not only gerat comfort… but great confidence.
It is confidence you can see, the confidence of knowing your starship possesses a look of great dignity.
It is confidence you can feel, in thickly cushioned contour seats available in rich crushed velour or soft Corinthian Leather. It is confidence you experience when you are in command of a truly space worthy vessel. A confidence that will take you round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares Maelstrom and round perdition’s flames before it gives you up!
Cordoba. Checker name was enough to take a look, until they said diesel and knowingGM sourced the Checker motors, it was a non starter to even take a look..
And the Cordoba is actually pretty clean for a 50 ish year old car. replace all of the smog and lean burn stuff with Sniper by holley replacements and I would say float around in that tank.
Wow, I thought almost anything would make me vote against a mid 70s tank boat of American garbage but somehow you found an ancient old taxi converted to a hearse with the worst American engine of all time that that doesn’t start that actually made me click on the Chrysler.
^this
As someone who learned how to drive on a Cordoba, and currently drives a Toyota Solara Coupe, I’m all about the PLCs.
The luxury coupe without the luxury doesn’t call me. The checker at least looks interesting and could be a fun sleeper with the right engine swap.