Home » Dodge Might Put Vibrators Into Electric Cars To Make Them Rumble Like V8s. Here’s How It Would Work

Dodge Might Put Vibrators Into Electric Cars To Make Them Rumble Like V8s. Here’s How It Would Work

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Much of what fuels the EV debate is the trade-offs inherent in any emerging technology. Issues like range, charging speed, and infrastructure problems are the topics brought up over and over in this occasionally exhausting conversation. These have been the main focus for automakers in their arms race to make EVs as convenient to own as gas-powered cars. While companies work tirelessly to close the gap on these shortcomings, many are missing a key facet of car ownership that will leave gearheads in the cold if it isn’t addressed: the driving experience.

I can attest to this, having driven a variety of EV’s. Most models deliver brutal acceleration that few gas cars can match, but after you floor it a couple times (and give your stomach a chance to settle down), everyday driving feels pretty anonymous. If I ignore the interior and just focus on the driving sensations there isn’t a huge difference between a Mach-E, an EV6, or a Model 3. It’s a bit like riding in a high speed train. The speed that scenery flies by your window is thrilling at first, but after that wears off it’s just quiet, efficient transportation. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it won’t warm the cockles of a gearhead’s heart.

Vidframe Min Top
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A lot of this is because most EV’s offer a detached driving experience. There’s no engine, flooding the cabin with the sounds and vibrations we all love. Steering and pedal inputs are by wire or electronically assisted removing another source of tactile feedback. The lack of transmissions eliminate the feel of the engine going through the gears. With regenerative braking you don’t even need to use the brake pedal most of the time. If you are a luxury car buyer, this type of experience is desirable, but not everyone wants to commute in an isolated pod. There is a huge opportunity for automakers to differentiate themselves. Thankfully one automaker is doing just that.

Recently uncovered by MoparInsiders.com,  Stellantis (well, FCA U.S. LLC — the patent filing is a few years old)filed a patent with the World Intellectual Property Organization for a system called the Active Vehicle Enhancement System (AVE), which uses force generators to fill the vehicle’s cabin with the vibrations typically generated by a gas engine. This would work in tandem with an Active Sound Enhancement (ASE) system playing engine noise through the speakers, and the Exhaust Sound Enhancement (ESE) system. The goal, besides inventing a bunch of new TLAs the industry loves so much (Three Letter Acronyms), is to mimic the visceral feeling you get wheeling a gas car. This is a big deal, and something currently absent in the current crop of EVs. Let’s see what they have to say in the patent:

Battery electric vehicles (BEV’s) may provide a greener alternative to vehicles with combustion engines. However, BEV’s can emit very low noise levels… Known solutions include creating electronic noises through external speakers on a vehicle. However, these systems do not produce an authentic engine sound nor are they as loud as a high-performance vehicle. Additionally, vehicles that have traditionally been considered “muscle cars” or “high performance” may no longer have a characteristic sound emitted through their exhaust systems. Further still, in vehicles with the known systems, the sound can feel unnatural due to lack of tactile feedback experienced with vehicles having internal combustion engines. Thus, while current systems work well for their intended purpose, it is desirable to provide continuous improvement in the relevant art.

The patent goes into detail on how the ASE system will work concurrently with the Engine Sound Enhancement system and Fratzonic Chambered Exhaust  to mimic the full sensory experience an ICE vehicle provides. The control scheme telling everything what to do is similar to the active sound enhancement systems that pipe artificial engine noise through the speakers. Data from pedal position, wheel speed, and electric motor torque sensors are fed into a controller that works with the CAN system to play continuously changing, sample based .wav files to match the vibro-acoustic output of a gas motor in your current driving situation. The patent mentions playing startup and shutdown sounds along with the ability to choose different vehicle profiles, which is pretty cool. You can get the experience of driving some futuristic Jetsons-mobile one day, a 69 Charger the next, and if we are lucky, an 80’s Omni GLH or a 76 Aspen! Imagine going to work in a Hellcat then driving home to the sounds of a roided out Neon SRT4, sounds pretty fun right?

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Patentcontrolsystem
Schematic for the Active Vibration Enhancement, Active Sound Enhancement, and Exhaust Sound Enhancement system. Source: WIPO

 

The drawing below shows the mounting scheme of the actuators to the frame of the car. The patent describes these as a rare earth magnet surrounded by an electromagnetic field generator (copper winding), which is basically a speaker without the cone. These transmit vibrations directly to the chassis. The vibration output would be tuned to the vehicle to amplify certain resonance frequencies and reduce others. The controller splits the engine sound signal into different frequency ranges that make sense for the shakers, the speaker system and the exhaust. With this setup you’ll be able to feel the vibrations through the seats, pedals, steering wheel, and armrest. Combined with the engine noise playing through the interior speakers and out the exhaust, it should be an immersive setup.

Patentshakers
Mounting Scheme for the Shakers. Source: WIPO

Figure 3 below shows the exhaust system, which uses woofers and mid range speakers played into tuned chambers to blast noise out of the exhaust tips. This is a similar concept to Borla’s Active Performance Sound system they released for EV’s last year.

 

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Patentexhaust
Exhaust Sound Enhancement System. Image Source: WIPO

If anyone would develop this technology, it would be Stellantis. The company has been working on its next generation Dodge Charger, which will have at least one version that is fully electric. For a company that’s made its bread and butter stuffing larger and larger Hemi V8s into their cars, they’ll need to do something to retain that enthusiast customer base. With this sound and vibration package, their eRupt electro-mechanical multi-speed transmission, and the blistering acceleration we’ve come to expect from electric vehicles, they’ll have a compelling vehicle that will hopefully retain many of their gearhead fans, while standing out from other EV’s on the market.

Banshee
Dodge Charger Daytona concept. Image Source: Stellantis

Of course there will be a segment of gearheads that will poo-poo any type of artificial enhancements to the driving experience. The type of folks who only listen to their classic rock on vinyl through a tube amp and some Cerwin Vegas because that’s how it’s “meant to be listened to.” And I get it. I was a little skeptical of active sound enhancement systems at first, thinking they were corny. But my current vehicle has this feature and I’ve grown to like it. It’s better than hearing no engine noise, or having the car’s sound package so compromised you get tons of road and wind noise along with the notes from the engine. Odds are, many of these people have no problem with cars with questionably functional aero or decorative air vents because, hey it looks cool. I bet a lot of those people will get on board after some seat time and tire smoking hoonage.

I haven’t experienced this exact type of system, but I’m well acquainted with something similar, NVH simulators. These are very expensive, highly tuned driving simulators that automakers use for things such as jury evaluations (think focus groups), virtual part swaps, and NVH testing. They aren’t built for having fun, they’re designed to replicate the sound and vibration sensory experience as accurately as possible in multiple driving scenarios.

The setup is similar, with actuators attached to the frame, pedals, and steering column, sending vibrations through all the touch points, as well as an array of speakers and the curved screen. These shakers simulate the vibrations from the powertrain, different road surfaces, even speed bumps. The sensations paired with the sounds felt so real it was eerie. If Dodge can get this system a fraction as accurate as what I’ve experienced, with the option to switch sound and vibration profiles on the fly, this car will be a hoot to drive. In the end, that’s all gearheads are looking for and should be worth celebrating.

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Alex Kwanten
Alex Kwanten
9 months ago

It’s way past time Dodge revived its long-defunct line of Adult Toys:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=ZaNsIy7vA1E

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
9 months ago

https://github.com/Engine-Simulator/engine-sim-community-edition

I think y’all are gonna have a good time with this

RKranc
RKranc
9 months ago

Did no one watch the video of the Ford at Bathurst this morning with the sound on? Make an electric street car that sounds like that monster and I doubt anyone would complain.

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
9 months ago

Did nobody hear clip playing cards to their bicycle wheels as a kid?

OCS-BN
OCS-BN
9 months ago

I did that with my 5 year old boy’s bicycle just recently. He loved it. I did, too.

Last edited 9 months ago by OCS-BN
Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
9 months ago

I mean, driving my ICE car is pleasurable, but I’ve never had THAT kind of pleasure while driving it.

Lizardman in a human suit
Lizardman in a human suit
9 months ago

Beat me to it

Cerberus
Cerberus
9 months ago

Well, I guess old car prices are never coming down until society collapses. If I have to drive an EV, this sounds better than being bored as long as it’s convincing, I suppose. Like, if I* was marooned on an island, I’d rather be stuck with an AI robot than nobody at all, especially if I had the option to shut it down. That said, my car has a sound generator and I disconnected it after a few days. Car has an actual engine and is short on sound deadening, so it isn’t needed, but the main thing is that it sounded fake even though it’s actually a mic amplifying certain engine sounds over a separate speaker (seemed to come on artificially loud at high rpm cam switchover). The one in my ST was an acoustic amplifier and that sounded kind of off, too, with seemingly inconsistent amplification. I could have done without it, but not enough to remove it as it was sometimes funny in a goofy way.

*Figurative “I” since, as someone of strong misanthropic disposition, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even want a fake human around and would just enjoy the peace and quiet and lack of concocted drama.

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
9 months ago

Oh man, I can finally relive the Mopars of my youth! First up, the smooth, silky sounds of my ’79 Duster’s slant six. Maybe I can program it to make that pumping-the-gas-pedal sound 35 times before I can actually drive it for the full sim-effect.

Or, the wheezy 4-banging revs of the carb’d 2.2L with an automatic in my ’85 Duster. But only if they allow me to turn down the 0-60 capability to 17 seconds while that engine noise is playing. I want the full simulation on that one too.

To round out this trifecta would be the exact rev-noise and vibration of pea gravel being thrown into the valve-body that my dad’s immaculately cared for ’87 Dodge Aries K-car started making around the 110,000 mile mark. I did my first “solo” drive-night after getting my license in that sweet machine. Glory Days for sure.

Bring on that Nostalgia, Dodge – I’m waiting!

Harvey Park Bench
Harvey Park Bench
9 months ago

> Maybe I can program it to make that pumping-the-gas-pedal sound 35 times before I can actually drive it

No need for a simulation–it’s still a Dodge, and they’ll find a way to have compression issues on an electric motor

A. Barth
A. Barth
9 months ago

Dodge Might Put Vibrators Into Electric Cars

*immature snickering*

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
9 months ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Yeah “vibrators” isn’t exactly the word I would use for this, haha. Unless they do in fact come with NACS compatible battery operated boyfriends, in which case, carry on.

Matti Sillanpää
Matti Sillanpää
9 months ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

Next level of massaging seats is the happy-end-seats? his and hers.

TheFanciestCat
TheFanciestCat
9 months ago

I just don’t understand adults wanting to play make-believe like this. Isn’t the car with more power than you’ll ever be able to really use enough pretending?

Harvey Park Bench
Harvey Park Bench
9 months ago
Reply to  TheFanciestCat

I wonder if Leaf owners make VRRRRMMMM sounds with their lips as they accelerate

Jb996
Jb996
9 months ago
Reply to  TheFanciestCat

Have you seen the military cosplay that police and right wing gun groups engage in? Adult fake-macho cosplay is very very real.

Sam I am
Sam I am
9 months ago

Nah, I’ll just keep driving V8s, thanks.

7Cincinnatus
7Cincinnatus
9 months ago

What if someone wanted to make their 1.4L turbo 4-cylinder sound, occasionally, and only to themselves in the cabin, like the most glorious-sounding powerplant to ever grace our ears with its sonic fury, the Merc 6.2L biturbo V8? Is there a thing for that? That’ll do the the throttle-position and wheel-speed thingies? For vroom-vroom noise reasons?

I’m just asking, what if

Cerberus
Cerberus
9 months ago
Reply to  7Cincinnatus

I don’t know how it would work with rights and such, but something wild and unobtainable like a BRM V16 with the accompanying vibrations might be pretty cool, just not another ohv V8.

W124
W124
9 months ago
Reply to  7Cincinnatus

You mean M156 and its sibling M159? I can guarantee those doesn’t need bi-turbos to sound glorious. I remember well when I was attending Monza GP in 2013 and the first time I was walking to the track area at thursday there was no racing going on but the Safety car, an SLS AMG, was lapping the track at full throttle and the sound was just wonderful.

Last edited 9 months ago by W124
Mechjaz
Mechjaz
9 months ago
Reply to  7Cincinnatus

I absolutely mimic the truck’s V8 and the BMW’s I6 and the bike’s…. You know I just like making engine sounds. There are a few 5.0 Mustangs around lately that I basically play Marco Polo with.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
9 months ago
Reply to  7Cincinnatus

Think about the sound of the Beast of Turin coming from a futuristic BEV!

Dogisbadob
Dogisbadob
9 months ago

the real way they put vibrations in it: poor build quality 😮

Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago

NO WE DON’T WANT THIS, and don’t mock. The whole reason we like the audio and feel of various mechanical aspects of cars is that we know it’s produced by what makes the car work. We like cars because they are tactile, physical, real mechanical things, they’re not just a driving experience.

Nobody wants to drive a lie! The world is too artificial and fake already, cars are one of the last real physical hobbies, and this is one more step towards taking that away from us.

I would rather an EV be honest about what it is than fake being something it isn’t. The only people who want this are the same type of people who would be open to romantic involvement with a robot, and it disgusts me.

Cerberus
Cerberus
9 months ago
Reply to  Austin Vail

This is where ICE cars are already mostly there: by-wire throttles, no-feel EPAS, wuss driving aids, piped in sound, tuned exhaust pops, selectable driving modes, nearly dead manual transmissions (to your point about sex bots, when I hear, “but automatics are faster, so they’re way better, dur”, all I hear is: “but fleshbots get you off quicker than a real person so they’re way better, dur”), and obsessive NVH suppression. They’re giving us phony digital ICE to ease us into EVs when I want the damn EV to be authentically analog.

Toecutter
Toecutter
9 months ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Back when everything was analogue, automakers deliberately shelved EV technology.

A genuinely analogue EV repairable with basic tools, is a car that could last you a lifetime. That’s not good for an industry that built its foundation on planned obsolescence. However, planned obsolescence is what is really destroying the Earth. Meanwhile, the public is gaslit and fed propaganda that they’re the entirety of the problem, when that’s actually not the case, which at the same time, encourages an equally ignorant dissenting opinion that humans aren’t impacting the Earth in a way that could kill it. Because they are.

The consequence of being ruled by an aristocracy that does not want its power taken away from it by the whole of humanity, an aristocracy which would never consider giving up their private jets, 20,000-mile Caesar salads, multiple mansions, collections full of gas-guzzling hypercars, megayachts, and a general lifestyle that is multiple orders of magnitude worse for the environment than some middle-aged schlub living paycheck to paycheck in a mortgaged starter home trying to make ends meet who uses a 20-year-old clunker ICE to get around and will probably never actually own the home he’s in, while this same aristocracy expects said schlub to give up eating real meat, driving his ICE car(and he can’t afford these new $40,000+ EVs with his median income job), and expects him to never retire…

Last edited 9 months ago by Toecutter
Protodite
Protodite
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

But dude, that schlub kinda is the problem though, I mean he can’t even go to the climate conferences in his private jet, so really, it’s kind of like he’s not even willing to help the planet

Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Yeah, the average person wants their car to be as much of a non-experience as possible, so automakers cater to that. But there are still cars out there that offer an experience that isn’t entirely fake, and in many cases the fakeness can be modified out, sometimes with as little effort as pulling a fuse to disable fake engine noise. You can even still hear the real engine sounds most of the time.

Most eerie vehicle I’ve ever been in was a Ford F150 Lightning. It was almost uncomfortably silent inside, no ambient noise whatsoever, not even a comfortable level of white noise like you hear when you’re standing out in nature. The only audible sound was the drone of the tires at highway speed, which I’ve never liked. Tire drone is the worst car noise to hear, which is why I prefer cars with plenty of engine and wind noise instead. The acceleration in that truck was otherworldly though, unrelenting in its lack of shifts and putting butterflies in your stomach. And the nice thing about total silence was that it made the stereo sound incredible.

Give me a car with minimal sound insulation instead, one where the dominant sounds are the wind and the engine so I don’t have to hear the droning of the tires. If I want to hear the radio I’ll turn it up louder. The noise doesn’t bother me, you get used to it in no time so it fades into the background, and you can still hold a conversation with passengers just fine. Less sound insulation makes it lighter and faster too.

I’m convinced average consumers complained about annoying noises in cars (things like creaks, squeaks, and rattles), and marketing took that to mean cars shouldn’t make noises period. I think consumers would actually grow to prefer a noisy car that just makes good noises, pleasant noises, noises which can very much be engineered – Lexus tuned the entire LFA to only make pleasant noises, it didn’t need to be silent to be pleasant. Our world is full of ambient noises that you don’t even notice most of the time, until somehow they’re gone and you realize you miss them as their absence is unnerving.

Cerberus
Cerberus
9 months ago
Reply to  Austin Vail

I also like some noise (except tire noise). Silence makes me uncomfortable. I wonder if it’s a primal thing, like the forest going quiet means there may be a predator around, though I’m told it’s common with ADHD and PTSD, so maybe it’s those, IDK.

I have a GR86. It’s supposed to be one of the best driver’s cars on the market. While it thankfully has some vintage character and feels like a machine that can be repaired vs the disconnected and disposable appliance feel of pretty much everything else, the throttle has typical e-throttle hesitancy (it’s only been over 20 years, I’m sure they’ll get the hang of it any day now!) plus poor front-loaded calibration instead of something linear and tuning that out is overly expensive for such a simple thing if I trusted anyone to tune it, the steering lacks feel (it’s great in relation to other modern cars, but those absolutely suck), and while it’s easy to shut off the nannies and doesn’t have any active wuss shit, doing so forces one into a stupid bar tach display where much of it is occupied by a useless stopwatch lap time feature instead of the variable info of the main screen. At least the tach display has actual coolant and oil temps.

I had a whole rant about how much better my ancient station wagon was as a driver, but nobody wants to read that, so I’ll skip to the end: EVs don’t need to be shit to drive, but that’s what they’re making in the pattern they’ve been following with ICE. While I don’t like this fake crap, I’ll take fake over nothing at all as it’s the most anyone seems to be considering for anyone who actually likes to drive. It’s not like they’re going back to analog unless there’s real volume in it as very few normals are asking for that and not in a way that OEMs care about as they’re still buying, plus even many enthusiasts don’t know what a good driving car can feel like anymore and it’s getting less likely for them to find out as the prices for anything older—even the mediocre or outright bad—is getting ridiculous. What it really looks like is that I’m going to have to end up building an FFR or something into a daily, even if it’s an EV.

Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Fair enough, I guess there’s just a part of me that on principle refuses to go down the path of accepting a simulation as being preferable to reality. That just feels fundamentally wrong and possibly even dangerous to me.

I honestly would rather drive a boring EV if it’s not lying about what it is, than live with the uncomfortable feeling that my car is trying to manipulate me into feeling things that aren’t genuine. To me it’s no different than using a dating simulator as a replacement for a real relationship, and just as disturbing.

I should probably also note that this is one reason why my newest car is from 1990… ain’t nothin’ fake about my cars.

It feels to me as if the biggest and most depressing industry trend in the world right now is to distract us with artificial “reality” so we lose sight of the problems the real world has and stop trying to fix them, forgetting that industry is what’s causing most of these problems in the first place and ignoring the fact that we could all be doing something about it.

Last edited 9 months ago by Austin Vail
Cerberus
Cerberus
9 months ago
Reply to  Austin Vail

Like everything else in life, I would rather not have something at all if it’s a choice between fake and boring. Unfortunately, I need a car. What I don’t understand is that there are a good number of people who decry this stuff, but play a lot video games.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  Austin Vail

Nobody wants to drive a lie!

Millions of cosplay cowboys and racerbois say otherwise.

Last edited 9 months ago by Cheap Bastard
Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

The difference is that those vehicles lie to everyone around the driver, but the vehicle doesn’t lie to you about what it is, and there is still potential for the owners of said vehicles to not be lying at all. Yeah that luxury pickup is probably owned by a suburban dad, but that guy might actually be a successful rancher who bought a comfy truck to do work with as a treat. You can’t say for certain they aren’t.

Last edited 9 months ago by Austin Vail
Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  Austin Vail

“Yeah that luxury pickup is probably owned by a suburban dad, but that guy might actually be a successful rancher who bought a comfy truck to do work with as a treat. You can’t say for certain they aren’t.”

If the owner lives in a condo, the bed is unmarred and the tow hitch is shiny its a certainy s/he’s all hat and no cattle.

Protodite
Protodite
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

“All hat and no cattle” absolutely killed me

NebraskaStig
NebraskaStig
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

It’s not a lie if they want to live that life. Why should you or I stop them as it’s not a true lie and not hurting anyone?

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  NebraskaStig

Because by living that lie they put everyone else at greater risk of injury or death.

NebraskaStig
NebraskaStig
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

How is a cosplay cowboy affecting you or anyone else directly?

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  NebraskaStig

How is a cosplay cowboy affecting me or anyone else directly? I’ve already answered that. Several times.

Harvey Park Bench
Harvey Park Bench
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

No more and no less than Chuck LeBoomer driving his ’69. Arguably less so, because of modern brakes and other safety features.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago

There are a lot less Chuck LeBoomers DD ’69s than wannabe cowboys DD pedestrian mowers.

Toecutter
Toecutter
9 months ago

They could just build V8 ICE variants for people who want them. If fuel economy is an issue, update the engine technology and/or focus on mass reduction/drag reduction(which will ALSO make it a faster car). It really is possible to exceed 40 mpg highway with a V8 if the car is efficient enough. A bone-stock Corvette C5 can do 30 mpg at 70 mph.

But stop trying to make EVs like ICE cars. It’s a complete and total misapplication of the technology, and only serves to self-sabotage the adoption of the technology.

Stop trying to sell the sizzle, when people want the damned steak. Value for the money should be the focus. The advantage of EVs: inexpensive hypercar-like performance for Joe Sixpack IS a possibility. And it WILL cannibalize the sales of some higher-margin ICE vehicles that aren’t as fast. So be it.

Just imagine how many cars Dodge could sell if their $25,000 base model EV did 0-60 mph in under 3 seconds. Doable. Tesla is taking a relatively conservative approach compared to their capabilities, because in the U.S., they have no meaningful competition and just keep printing themselves money.

Last edited 9 months ago by Toecutter
W124
W124
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

No one wants a Dodge Charger that looks like a suppository and is made like a velomobile.

Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago
Reply to  W124

Wrong, I want that.

Toecutter
Toecutter
9 months ago
Reply to  W124

That’s not what I meant.

Imagine if the new Dodge Charger went back to its concept car roots as a starting point. The 2000 Dodge Charger concept car. THAT body style, with some tweaks, could hold mostly the same proportions, but end up with a Cd value well below the 0.28 of the Dodge Charger Daytona from the 1970s. Possibly as low as 0.20. And it would STILL look like a musclecar of sorts.

This is how you make that V8 a bit more easy on the gas, at least on the highway. The EV will of course benefit from the efficiency improvement: smaller battery for the same range, or more range on the same battery.

Last edited 9 months ago by Toecutter
W124
W124
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

Don’t get me wrong, I do agree that reducing mass and drag are basically good things. But if great aerodynamics and low mass were important things to people who buy Chargers, those wouldn’t be the heavy unaerodynamic bricks they currently are. Maybe I should have used word “buys” instead of “wants”.

Last edited 9 months ago by W124
Toecutter
Toecutter
9 months ago
Reply to  W124

People buy Chargers to drive them like jackasses and hoon the shit out of them. At least they do in my hood. Lots of street takeovers, and like 75% of the time, there’s at least one Charger involved.

And it’s awesome.

Load reduction makes them go faster for the same amount of horsepower. Do it in a big way versus the predecessor, and whoever had driven the previous versions to compare to the current one, will definitely notice a difference when they drive it, and will more likely than not like it precisely because it is even more terrifying and less well-mannered, while at the same time, being functionally faster.

Imagine if the next Charger were around 3,000 lbs and shrunken significantly, had half the CdA value, BUT retained the Hellcat engine and could still comfortably seat at least 4. What would that do to performance once the engineers figured out how to make that all work?

Hellcats are currently getting their doors blown off by a Model 3 Performance that costs half as much. The Hellcat has a favorable power-to-weight ratio. Things should not be this way, but they are.

Last edited 9 months ago by Toecutter
W124
W124
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

Imagine if the next Charger were around 3,000 lbs and shrunken significantly, had half the CdA value, BUT retained the Hellcat engine and could still comfortably seat at least 4. What would that do to performance?

I’m sure it would be awesome, but I’m also pretty sure if it would be a viable option, it would have been done. It is either too expensive or wouldn’t fit the target group.

I think Ford Mustang vs. Probe even when not completely similar situation is still quite fitting analogy. Probe was many ways more advanced than the ageing Fox body, but even though it was supposed to be the new Mustang the Mustang buying group revolted and Ford was forced to release it as an own model and make a new actual Mustang.

Toecutter
Toecutter
9 months ago
Reply to  W124

I remember that. If it had a V8 and was RWD, I don’t think the hostility to the Probe concept being the new Mustang would have been all-encompassing.

I recall the biggest complaint being that it was a FWD 4-banger, just like everything else at the time. The 5.0 Mustang was one of the few cars that was actually different at the time, because it was a competent, affordable, RWD car with a V8 surrounded by a sea of FWD smog-choked malaise. And it wasn’t too bad on gas, either(IIRC, ~24 mpg highway). Even GM gave the Grand National a V6 at the time, and things were so bleak that enthusiasts swooned over them.

Now a Ford Probe V concept car, made into a product with most of the the low drag retained(Cd under 0.2), WITH a 5.0 V8(assuming necessary modifications were made to allow it to fit), probably would have had the highest highway fuel economy of any car sold in the USA or close to it(we’re talking competitive with a Geo Metro) and would have been able to punch above its weight regarding price at things like Ferrari F40s and Lamborghini Countachs, because it would end up having a similar top speed to them and be able to hold its own against them from 0-60 mph. And I’m doubtful anyone at Ford at the time even considered that as a possibility.

With design-by-committee, there’s no real thinking outside the box. Mediocrity is the best you can hope for.

Last edited 9 months ago by Toecutter
Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

You think street takeovers are awesome?

Toecutter
Toecutter
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

I love all instances of vehicular jackassery, under one condition: no one gets hurt or killed. Granted, it does come with the territory.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

I don’t care what people do as long as everyone involved is a willing participant. I will take your caveat a bit further and say as long as no one not involved is ever put in harms way in any way nor is their property. That includes but is not limited to noise, smells, sight and free passage.

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

The Bishop, paging a Mr. The Bishop

Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

I’d love a small-block hybrid V8 muscle car with cylinder deactivation and great aero. All the grunt I could want when I want it and none of the gas guzzling when I don’t.

Last edited 9 months ago by Austin Vail
Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

They can’t just build V8 versions, because ICE cars will be illegal in a few years, might as well start transitioning now

Baron Usurper
Baron Usurper
9 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

>It’s a complete and total misapplication of the technology, and only serves to self-sabotage the adoption of the technology.
Precisely the point.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
9 months ago

This is the dumbest shit in the entire world

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
9 months ago

No it’s not. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to have an EV that makes fake car noises? It’s not like this sort of tech is complicated, right? Besides every EV driver I know is always complaining about how much they miss that ICE sound. Right? /s
Come on now.

Harvey Park Bench
Harvey Park Bench
9 months ago

Several thriving industries indicate that people love that shit (plastic surgeons, personal stimulation devices, cosmetics, wigs, Instagram, tiktok, etc). Let people have their fun :p

Electric Truckaloo (formerly Stig’s Chamorro Cousin)
Electric Truckaloo (formerly Stig’s Chamorro Cousin)
9 months ago

It is quite possible to reconcile the desire to make vroom-vroom noises while also enjoying the instant power and extremely, and pleasantly quiet drive of an EV.

DD an EV, and have something fun (as defined by loud and vibratey, I guess?) for the weekends.

Speaking of stupid – Borla makes this … thing: https://www.americanmuscle.com/borla-mache-active-performance-sound-system-253100.html

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
9 months ago

Too bad the Plymouth brand is dead, the risqué humor possibilities just speak for themselves. That certainly sucks.

I guess we are stuck with the Dildo-Dodge. ( hey I claim first usage , a perusal of Google only turns up something totally unrelated. Don’t look , you have been warned)

Could we have the sound and vibrations of a NYC subway starting up?
https://youtu.be/-WKN-MGZai0?si=KIzLJCcDOb7Gr2iC

http://nyclovesnyc.blogspot.com/2009/02/subway-train-hums-somewhere-from.html?m=1

Harvey Park Bench
Harvey Park Bench
9 months ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

“Dildodge” was right there, man

Sensual Bugling Elk
Sensual Bugling Elk
9 months ago

Of course there will be a segment of gearheads that will poo-poo any type of artificial enhancements to the driving experience. The type of folks who only listen to their classic rock on vinyl through a tube amp and some Cerwin Vegas because that’s how it’s “meant to be listened to.”

This feels like a strawman argument. I, a gearhead, understand artificial enhancements. There are visual enhancements that serve no purpose; that’s part of design. Cars come with tactile enhancements, with a specific feel engineered into every touchpoint and mechanical system that is not necessarily optimal from a performance standpoint. Cars come with auditory enhancements, from exhaust tuning to augmented engine noise.

Unlike these enhancements, Dodge’s system actively insults the intelligence of their customers. It assumes that 1) the customer is so desperate for familiarity that they will accept a complicated facsimile, 2) the customer is too unsophisticated to notice the artificiality of the enhancement, 3) the customer is incapable of enjoying a performance EV on its own merits, or 4) the customer has low enough standards that they’ll take artificial sensation over a truly feelsome EV (which, as Porsche has shown, is possible to engineer).

I’m a brown manual wagon-worshipping, vinyl-listening gearhead, but I still enjoy the vroom-vroom noises coming in from the Soundaktor speakers in my friend’s tuned MK7 GTI. Every element of experiencing a car–how it looks, how it feels, how it sounds–has some element of artificial enhancement because that’s inseparable from the process of engineering a good car.

I want EVs that make me feel something. Just like with ICE cars, that will involve engineering an experience into the car. Unlike this Dodge effort though, that shouldn’t involve holding my intelligence in open contempt.

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
9 months ago

But don’t Dodge customers deserve to have their intelligence actively mocked?

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
9 months ago

This is so dumb. It would be the equivalent of having ICE cars play clip-clop sounds through the radio and blow eau de horse apples through the ventilation system for those who missed the equine era of transportation.

Stop wasting millions of development dollars (that are passed on to all buyers, not just the nostalgia enthusiasts) for this crap. EVs are already too expensive.

And stop trying to force EVs into old paradigms. If you have to fake ICE characteristics to sell electric cars you’re doing it wrong.

If you still want to offer this, make it a download that is completely paid for by subscribers and not something that I will never use, but still end up paying for just to make a few “gear heads” happy.

I like my ICE cars just fine, but when it’s time to go EV, I’ll embrace that for its unique qualities. Otherwise, it’s like trying to force your new love interest to be just like your last, or worse, your mother. That never goes well.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

This is so dumb. It would be the equivalent of having ICE cars play clip-clop sounds through the radio

Who needs a radio? I just have my backseat passengers bang two coconuts together.

Protodite
Protodite
9 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

Where’d you get the coconuts?

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
9 months ago
Reply to  Protodite

I found them. In Mercia.

Chronometric
Chronometric
9 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

JUST SAY NO TO FAKE.

JunkInTheFrunk
JunkInTheFrunk
9 months ago

The greatest and most beloved characteristics of vehicles are born from technical necessity, not false experience. The gold hood lining on the McLaren F1, the whale tale on old 911s, the chicken tax evading rear seats of the Brat and of course the sound of a hard breathing V8 built are all iconic because they represent the best solution to a difficult problem.

Fart cans, “bluetooth front diff” lifted trucks, fake fender vents, and “NVH simulators” are inherently cringe inducing because of their frivolity. You are free to enjoy them if you must. I don’t make the rules.

Last edited 9 months ago by JunkInTheFrunk
Fjord
Fjord
9 months ago

This is dumb. And anyone who falls for this deserves it.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
9 months ago
Reply to  Fjord

This is one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard of for a product marketed to adults, and that’s including the Trumpy Bear

Greensoul
Greensoul
9 months ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

Hey, easy now, the Trumpy Bear didn’t vibrate. It just grabbed em by the ‘shifter’

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
9 months ago
Reply to  Greensoul

Other toys let you do that when you’re advertised on TV

Citrus
Citrus
9 months ago

The Dodge La Femme is back, baby!

Nic Periton
Nic Periton
9 months ago

I want it to do Trabant feels and noises, and 2CV ones. Better still it would be fun if one could hack someone elses so it does Trabant and 2CV things.

Harvey Park Bench
Harvey Park Bench
9 months ago
Reply to  Nic Periton

It’ll have Trabant reliability.

Greensoul
Greensoul
9 months ago

Please, please tell me a car equipped with this function will have a rotary style gear selector and not a stick shifter.

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
9 months ago

Well, I mean, for some people the big honkin’ hot rod is a penis substitute already. So, giving the dildo a vibrator function is only logical.

Greensoul
Greensoul
9 months ago
Reply to  Doctor Nine

exactly!

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
9 months ago
Reply to  Doctor Nine

I heard from a “friend” that it makes long trips less stressful.

Greensoul
Greensoul
9 months ago
Reply to  Col Lingus

only if you opt for the 10k ‘autopilot’ option and use that shifter when the car takes over! On a sidenote, the most phallic looking shifter award goes to the 86 Subaru XT coupe with the automatic tranny. Purely x-rated looking contraption on those.

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