“Procurement” is the fancy term for when the government buys things. It’s normally very dull. Lately, though, the State Department’s spending plans have caught our eye. Apparently, it plans to purchase $400 million worth of armored Tesla EVs. Or perhaps not.
The controversy hit the news on Wednesday night, with Drop Site reporting that State Department procurement documents indicated a $400 million sum earmarked for “Armored Tesla.” This was set to be awarded in Q4 2025, with the program slated to run over a five year period. The project was marked as being in the “Planning” phase.
That’s a lot of money for (presumably) a lot of armored Teslas, with the story quickly spreading to the broader news media:
Only, things got weirder late on Wednesday night when the procurement document was changed to wipe Tesla’s name from the books. So what’s going on, and what could an armored Tesla even look like?
Late Night Excel-ing
With Tesla CEO Elon Musk making waves with his political connections of late, there was some concern when the story broke regarding potential conflicts of interest. Tesla commentators soon took to Twitter to claim that date stamps appear to indicate the procurement document was altered on December 13, 2024—weeks prior to the beginning of the new presidential term.
Regardless, if you visit the State Department site now, you’ll find the time stamp has been updated to February 12, 2025 at 9:12 PM, indicating some poor bureaucrat was working late to “fix” this situation.
It's worth noting that this procurement forecast was revised in December 2024 when Biden was still President. The Tesla line item was last modified on December 13th: pic.twitter.com/8meUaBCWTS
— Sawyer Merritt (@SawyerMerritt) February 12, 2025
It seems likely that, at some point, the State Department earmarked these funds for a Tesla-related project. Indeed, there are other entries denoting armored car purchases from other automakers, like BMW—albeit at a much lower sum of $40 million.
However, as reported by Bloomberg, the EV automaker’s name was scrubbed from the procurement document in the hours after the story broke. The project is now listed as a requirement for “Armored Electric Vehicles” with no specific automaker listed.
The Autopian has queried the Department of State over the matter, including the scrubbing of any references to Tesla. Despite the late-night spreadsheet-ing, it appears likely Tesla is intimately involved with this procurement. CEO Elon Musk took to Twitter to chastise MSNBC for allegedly misrepresenting his role in the matter.
Hey @maddow, why the lie? https://t.co/gUZax7mvef
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 13, 2025
What Vehicle Could It Be?
Given all the bluster around the stainless steel Cybertruck, one might assume that this is the vehicle of interest to the State Department. It’s certainly the most military-like Tesla, and was regularly referred to as bulletproof right up until people started shooting holes into it after launch. Musk himself referred to the vehicle as an “armored personnel carrier from the future.” In reality, though, it’s closer to a regular car than an actual military vehicle — even if its outer panels can take quite a beating.
While an armor-clad Cybertruck could be on the agenda, it’s worth remembering that the State Department is not the military. Indeed, the department has specific procurement awards designated for “Military Armored Vehicle, Tank, and Tank Component Manufacturing”, and the Tesla award was not that.
To that end, the department is likely not be seeking a rugged, all-terrain vehicle like the the Cybertruck at all. Indeed, the agency is purchasing X5 and X6 SUVs from BMW. While they are all-wheel-drive, they’re not exactly what you would call military vehicles, even when up-armored.
It may be the case that the State Department is seeking armored versions of the Model S or Model X, to be used for transporting dignitaries. This would be similar to the armored car programs common at automakers like BMW and Mercedes, which see regular sedans and SUVs equipped with body armor and thick bullet-resistant glass. Modifications are usually very hard to spot visually so these vehicles don’t stand out in traffic. An armored Tesla may not look appreciably different from a regular one.
The $400 million sum earmarked for the program does suggest there’s something special at play. It could be that the State Department wants a lot of armored EVs, or it could be that it’s paying for someone to build something exotic and special. Unless the State Department answers our questions, or someone spills the beans, we can only speculate for now.
Regardless, where there’s $400 million in smoke and strange edits to an official government spreadsheet, there’s fire. Someone’s trying to buy some kind of badass armored EV, and the people want to know what it is. More when we have it.
Image credits: Tesla, Department of State, BMW
On which one? The Stallone or the Karl Urban timeline? But I strongly believe we are not that lucky, because we are on the Idiocracy timeline which is way way worse…
Uuuurgh. It is SUCH a long four year stretch we’re in for. Obviously it would be terrible if someone handcuffed that motherfucker to a telephone pole and shot him in the dick. That would be Very Bad and Wrong. Very Bad. And Wrong. Yes.
Siring twelve children by three different women is beyond plenty. So…