Every so often, automakers get properly weird. Think that Renault 5 Diamant with the stone steering wheel, or the Nissan Pivo concept car with the swivelling cabin. Well, it’s time to get weird again. The BMW XM Mystique Allure is a velvet-wrapped SUV inspired by supermodel Naomi Campbell’s favorite color, and despite having a fuzzy exterior, it doesn’t look any more ridiculous than a standard XM.
Making its debut at the Cannes Film Festival, the XM Mystique Allure is draped roof-to-sill in blurple velvet and shimmering sequins, looking like something a Dr. Seuss villain would drive. As you’d probably expect, the interior is also matched to theme, and has some serious potential. Sure, leather may be the industry standard, but isn’t there something nice about the warmth and comfort of properly sumptuous cloth, especially in an actual color?
Another highlight BMW’s touting is a special set of synthesized propulsion sounds composed by Hans Zimmer. These are claimed to be different than the regular Zimmer-composed noises in other electric BMWs, although it’s anyone’s guess as to what they might sound like.
So, how does this car’s inspiration feel about it? As Campbell stated in a press release: “I feel deeply honoured to have sparked the inspiration for their first-ever high-fashion show car, which stands as a unique masterpiece in every aspect.” Indeed, the BMW XM Mystique Allure is certainly unique, and nobody can take that away from it.
Interestingly this isn’t BMW’s first time experimenting with fabric on the outside of a car. In 2008, the brand revealed the GINA, a name that stood for “Geometry and functions In ‘N’ Adaptions.” Sure, that acronym will make you want to roll your eyes so far back into your skull that your brain stem turns to mush and your spine slides out of your anus, but the car itself is pretty cool.
Thanks to a flexible fabric skin, the GINA could blink, open up its engine bay from the middle of the hood, and be nearly devoid of visible panel gaps. It was a fascinating vehicle, an amusing dead end in the world of show cars.
While the BMW XM Mystique Allure doesn’t feature moving fabric panels, it also doesn’t feel that strange compared to how it started life. Does it look like Grimace’s Decepticon cousin? Sure, but that’s no more of a preposterous theme than a gold-accented road rhino for the terminally tasteless. While it might not look, shall we say, good, this velvet-wrapped treatment makes the XM more interesting, and that’s a minor win in itself.
(Photo credits: BMW)
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This thing is hideous except for on the inside. (Sounds familiar.) Velour interiors need to make a comeback.
I’ve been in California on vacation for the past week and still haven’t seen an XM! I’ve spotted everything else interesting that I rarely see in Canada including several Cybertrucks… has BMW sold any of these?!
Come to Norway next time. Unfortunately the damn things are everywhere here.
Seeing the GINA again, it gives me the opportunity to (again) wish it had been created by the Volkswagen Audi Group. Then it would have have been the VAGINA.
I saw a modified XM the other week and I could not believe my eyes. My ten-year-old daughter was downright offended by it.
BMWs have gotten so ugly that they hurt my feelings.
The only XM is the Citroen XM.
Sucky car is now sucky car with velvet. I mean, it surely didn’t make it worse, but I’m not sure it made it any better either
So will there be a Velvet membership? Ha ha…I think George Costanza would like that
George: I love it! This is fantastic! Look at this couch, is this velvet?!
Bonnie: Are you a velvet fan?
George: A fan? I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
Thanks to BMW, looks like 2024 will be the real Summer of George.
This sure looks like International Klein Blue.
I was going to rant about fashion accessories, but cars have always been fashion accessories. Bullitt, Kowalski, Milner, Rockford, Knight: They all posed with their baubles.
(sees photo)
What car?
I feel like I might be the only person outside of the BMW organization who doesn’t hate the XM. I saw one at the BMW dealership a while back, and I didn’t think it looked bad. Is it beautiful? Shit no it’s not, but I don’t find it to be any more hideous than any other six-figure status symbol crossover SUV thing, and from certain angles, in certain colors, I actually dig it. Do I want one? No, but I can kinda see the appeal.
That being said, I’ve always been a BMW fan, and I tend to adjust to their weird styling choices pretty quickly. Aside from the weird decklid on the 7 Series, I didn’t hate the Banglemobiles, and I also kinda dig the beaver tooth M3/M4.
I posted earlier that I don’t hate it. And when out to pickup dinner I had an iX go by as opposite traffic. That thing is far uglier than the XM. The whole front end is terrible. Worse than the 4-series/M3.
The iX is terrible. It’s the worst version of the beaver teeth.
I came up behind one in the PHX area that was this really nice matte black and instantly fell in love. It had presence. Guessing it was one of their “50 BMW Individual special paint finishes“
The one that I saw was also matte black, and it was at Chapman BMW in Chandler. I thought it looked pretty decent.
I just want to give BMW a hug and put it in a long-term mental health facility. Seeing something that was once so brilliant and strong turn into this neurotic wreck hurts the soul.
Fucking. Fabulous.
Sure she can. Just give her a crate of phones so she can throw them at people. In a state of concussion people may think the XM looks passable.