Evidence Of Taillight-Based Alien Tech: Cold Start

Late one night this past week, Peter, our guy who handles scheduling and social stuff and many of the topshots and manages the Autopian line of frozen cod and tilapia products, called me on the videophone. I slapped at the buzzing machine, finally squeezing the CALL CONNECT bulb. The small black-and-white CRT blinked to life, blurrily.

I saw Peter there, in his usual spot, an empty hot tub now filled with rags and blankets and papers and all sorts of other detritus. He looked crazed, even more than normal, and faced the screen with an alarming intensity.

“TORCH!” he bellowed, eyes unblinking, “I found it.”

“What?” I asked.

“IT,” he said, significantly, and pushed the camera over to a small monitor perched on the edge of the hot tub. “Shuddup and watch,” he said.

So, I did. Here’s what I saw:

“PROOF!” Pete bellowed, “Proof that taillights are alien tech, and it’s all here, right here, in this documentary called Planet of the Vampires! Now you can blow the lid on this wide open!”

He then spun the camera back to himself where I could see him drain a bottle of what appeared to be Worcestershire sauce, and then the screen went dark.

Huh. Pete’s an odd fellow, and, let’s be honest, pretty dangerous, but he does seem to have a point here. This 1965 Italio-Spanish horror film Planet of the Vampires which I suppose could be a documentary, is one that was done on a pretty shoestring budget, so a lot of the sets portraying alien planets and spaceship interiors had to be made with whatever was available.

And one of the things available was this:

See that bit of alien tech next to that colossal alien skull?

(By the way, if this whole scene feels strangely familiar, humans encountering a derelict alien spacecraft that has a gigantic alien skeleton in it, that may be because director Ridley Scott has admitted the “space jockey” scene from Alien was at least partially inspired by this.)

That bit of alien tech actually seems to be a taillight from a 1956 Clipper. Clipper was a one-year sub-brand created by the then nearly-dead Packard, and by 1957 was just a trim level of Packard, which were then re-badged Studebakers. But they kept those 1956 Clipper taillights:

And then, at some point, that alien spacecraft must have used them, too, for whatever the hell purpose a species of non-corporeal parasitic aliens that takes over dead people and re-animates them, zombie-like, requires. Oh, and they don’t seem to be like “vampires” at all. I’m sure advanced Studebaker-Packard taillight tech can offer all sorts of benefits to such a group of aliens.

I also just learned the movie features a machine called a “meteor rejector.” I wonder if that incorporates any taillights, too?