Good morning! Today we’re looking at two vehicles from the same manufacturer, from the same year, with the same basic mission: Taking the family on a road trip. But they go about it in very different ways.
Yesterday’s fixer-uppers came down to a nail-biter of a vote – as of 5:15 pm EDT, the Oldsmobile holds a very narrow but steady lead. And since that’s my choice as well, I’m calling it. Tie goes to the author, right? I think we can all agree that the Volvo might be a marginally nicer and more fun car, but GM parts availability is a definite advantage when it comes to keeping a cheap old car on the road.
And it didn’t even occur to me until a couple of you pointed it out that the red interior with the dark blue paint must have been a special order. Generally if left to their own devices, automakers back then matched the interior to the exterior, but in theory, you could have any combination you wanted, if you ordered it that way. And kudos to the original purchaser of this car for doing so; dark blue with a red interior is a very striking combination, even in a crappy old Oldsmobile.
All right: Raise your hand if your family took a lot of road trips when you were young. My hand is up; every summer we would hit the road, often headed for Colorado, because my mom loved it there, but we also went east a couple of times, once to New England and once to the Outer Banks and then working our way up to DC. But because my dad was who he was, we didn’t make these trips in typical family road-trip machines. The biggest car we ever took was a Dodge 600; otherwise it was a VW Dasher, or a Fiat 128, or a Pinto wagon. My brother and I would both stare longingly at the big comfy station wagons and conversion vans that other families got to travel in, while we crammed ourselves into a tiny back seat, with a cooler between us to keep us from fighting.
Today’s Country Squire and Econoline conversion van would have made our road trips a whole lot better, I imagine. But possibly less memorable. Suffering builds character, right?
1989 Ford LTD Crown Victoria Country Squire – $5,600
Engine/drivetrain: 5.0-liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Carlstadt, NJ
Odometer reading: 117,000 miles
Operational status: “It runs, drives, and stops”
The Ford Country Squire is, of course, the basis for the “Wagon Queen Family Truckster” featured in the 1983 film National Lampoon’s Vacation. “You think you hate it now,” quips Eugene Levy as a car salesman, “but wait ’till you drive it.” Vacation has had such a cultural impact that pretty much any full-size wood-sided wagon from the 1970s or 80s, regardless of manufacturer, is now referred to as a “Family Truckster.” The seller of this one has leaned into that fame, as witnessed by the vanity license plate: “GRISWOLD.”
The Country Squire, and its Mercury twin the Colony Park, are based on Ford’s long-lived Panther platform, a rock-solid chassis with a long history of service as police cars, taxicabs, and airport limos. A cross-country jaunt to Walley World is a piece of cake by comparison. This Squire runs and drives, the seller says, but they don’t elaborate. Whatever issues it may have won’t be a problem; Panther parts are easy to come by.
This is an eight-passenger wagon: three across the front bench, three in the back, and two inward-facing jump seats in the “way-back.” These fold into the floor to create a flat cargo area if you don’t need the extra seating. It looks like the way-back seats are vinyl, while the rest of the passengers get less-sweaty velour, and this was before the days of separate rear air conditioners, so rear passengers are stuck with whatever trickles in from the front vents.
It’s not so pretty on the outside, unfortunately. It’s more or less rust-free, but badly sun-bleached. I don’t have any idea how much work it would be to remove and redo all that fake woodgrain, but I imagine it’s a lot. Personally, I wouldn’t bother; if I went to all the trouble of stripping that crap off, it’s not going back on. I’d just give it a nice paint job and call it a day.
1989 Ford Econoline 150 XL conversion van – $5,500
Engine/drivetrain: Unspecified engine, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Plymouth, PA
Odometer reading: 86,000 miles
Operational status: Runs great, but needs a brake line replaced
Take one bare-bones work van, cut the roof off and replace it with a taller fiberglass cap, cover the inside with shag carpet, wood trim, and captain’s chairs and the outside with stripes, running boards, and a ladder, and you’ve got yourself a conversion van. You don’t see many new ones these days, but back in the ’80s, there was no cooler way to travel.
The foundation for this van is Ford’s legendary Econoline, in half-ton “150” form. Econolines of this era were available with a host of different engines, but the seller leaves us in the dark as to which one resides in this doghouse. Most likely it’s either a 5.0 or 5.8 liter Windsor V8, with fuel injection either way, but there is a chance that it’s a 300 cubic inch inline six. Whatever it is, the seller says it runs great, but it sounds like it isn’t quite roadworthy at the moment, due to a leaky brake line. The seller says they may fix it before the sale if they have time. As long as it isn’t rusty underneath, replacing a brake line and bleeding the brakes isn’t a hard job, though.
Inside, it’s pink. Oh so very pink. It looks like my aunt’s bathroom, right down to the shag carpeting (I wish I was joking). Apparently the seller’s dog got to some of the upholstery inside; it needs a little repair. Where you’re going to find pink velour to patch it up, I don’t know. This van is set up for camping, with a kitchenette, a sofa that folds down into a bed, and a toilet in the back. Everything works, the seller says, so that’s something.
It’s pink outside as well, with all the required add-ons, and only a little rust around the edges. It’s missing a hubcap, which makes any vehicle look a little ratty, but overall it doesn’t look too bad. You can roll into the KOA in style, and party like it’s 1989.
Yeah, I know: these things are both too old, nobody in their right mind would put their family into these deathtraps, blah blah blah. We somehow managed to survive. Besides, we’re mostly talking about a trip down memory lane, not down Interstate 80. Chances are, if you’re my age, you have some nostalgia for one of these two – even if it’s nostalgia for the jealousy you felt from the back seat of a Pinto. Which one is it?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)
My dad had three Country Squires- ’84, ’88 and ’91 (which he got in 94 or 95 after hounding a little old lady who never drove it), all with the wood paneling. I’ll pick it over the shaggin’ van, but only because I can smell that toilet from here. But I’ll pick neither at those prices.
I really wish Ford had leaned in on the “Family Truckster” thing with it and offered it in metallic pea at least for one year. Moreover, I wish they really leaned in on the nostalgia and offered the Flex with the faux wood paneling- think they would’ve sold a lot of them.
The Country Squire always had the woodgrain trim as it was the high spec wagon. The low spec was the Country Sedan.
Runs good, stops bad. Story of my life. Going for the pink elephant, today.
There’s simply too much potential for grossness with the van. Country Squire all the way. Plus, it reminds me of a Country Squire of similar vintage that got passed around my family, between various uncles and cousins, for a few years. Fond memories of unsafe amounts of people piling into it and puttering off to some adventure or another…
Plus, a Panther always wins (unless the other option is B-Body).
Country Squire. Because almost all of the Panthers of this era are gone. Meanwhile I’m almost guaranteed to find either a Vandura or Econoline conversion van for every block I drive through.
I’m conflicted about this one. I love the idea of a (mostly) self contained camper with the footprint of a van. But this thing is gross. Shag carpeting and toilets don’t mix. Upholstery and pink don’t mix. This owner’s dog and upholstery don’t mix. A van like this in better condition, with upholstery in a color other than pink, a divider between the toilet and passenger compartment, and no carpet beneath the toilet would be very appealing. This one is not. With some regret, I voted for the Country Squire.
The wagon is way easier to work on, and a lot more comfortable for the driver and front passenger. That van is just a touch too far gone inside for me anyways.
The pink interior, combined with the carpet and that toilet are giving me the jibblies. Blech. I’ll take the wagon.
IMO case scenario it was the part of someone’s sexcapades/may have started in a video or two on the site with the orange and black logo. Worst case scenario is uh…quite a bit more grim
That Econoline speaks to me, as cool as the wagon is.
Wagon.
Easier to work on, more room for front occupants, and I’ll take patina over pink (though I respect that at least it’s not white or black with a black/greige interior).
Prices for both seem a smidge high. If they were from the same seller I’d offer as much as $8K for the pair.
Woody wagon, although they are pricing that in hopes someone wants to pay a nostalgia tax. I love a good conversion van, but that one is in crappier shape and just as overpriced as the wagon.
I know technically the Truckster is the better car, but I’m sorry, anything with an actual toilet installed automatically wins.
The toilet might have the opposite effect on me… Just think of the horrors those pink curtains were exposed to over the years!
I can’t stop thinking about what’s lurking in the carpet…
The price on both of these is peak pandemic pricing, so no dice.
I voted for the family truckster over the crappy van. My parents had a 70’s Country Squire in dark green with the wood trim and a green vinyl interior. My dad traded it in on an ’84 Chevy Caprice Estate with GM’s legendary diesel.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Dad had a brown ’85 Colony Park with tan leather interior. I think the leather was from rhino because it had no give at all but wore like iron until he unloaded it around 2004. TBI injected 302. Reliable if unexciting, we did put dual exhaust on it one point and I desperately wanted a dual snorkel air cleaner.
I’m serious about the leather! In my college years he had a ’90 Town Car, midnight blue over parchment, that had the softest leather seats in the world. Then this ’85 Mercury with stone hard hides, they don’t give and bend – they crack. Supple my ass.
Van.
I feel like there aren’t enough of these still prowling our roadways. Not at that price, though. $5k+ for a 35 year old van? At least fix the brake lines. It’s not a big or expensive job.
I love conversion vans, but not one I could poop in.
Should be marketed as a class B camper, not a conversion van. Typically I associate conversion vans with a bench seat that folds into a bed, and 4-6 captains’ chairs.
I don’t need that many seats. I’d gladly trade a couple of captain’s chairs for a bathroom… maybe not this one, though.
Knowing how much heat you can get from the doghouse for the engine between the two front seats, there’s no way I’d go for the van. Besides, how can anyone not pick a wagon with fake wood on the sides? It’s pure Americana!
…is that worse in older ones? I mean, I had a ’97 conversion van for 7 years and the doghouse never particularly radiated heat to my knowledge.
I went to New Mexico in the 80’s in an RV that was a Dodge van chassis conversion with a 318 (I think) V-8. The front seats were always sweltering, and going over the mountains you had to crack the cover on the doghouse open to keep the engine from overheating. Pure misery for the folks up front.
Interesting, and also harrowing. Thanks for the perspective!
Both of these are insanely priced for what they are, but I went with the wagon as a choice must be made. I wouldn’t recommend a blacklight in the back of that van.
I tend to prefer vans and may have selected the E150 if it was a standard conversion with tufted rear captains chairs. Wagon it is and I know it’ll be more comfortable to drive. The foot space for the front driver and passenger in the van is minimal. I’ve spent far too much time in 2011 version.
Same, I love the usual conversion configuration, not these camper types. So I must vote against my display name and say the Crown Vic Country Squire looks acceptable.
Do I want to be Clark Griswold in the Country Squire or Cousin Eddie pumping that toilet into the storm drain whilst holding a beer and informing the neighbors that the shitter’s full?
I think I’d rather have Beverly D’Angelo as my road companion on the front bench seat of the LTD, even if we both are somewhat faded from our glory years.
Have you checked our shitters lately?
I voted the Wagon. I love both wagons and vans but I feel the wagon would be easier to turn into a sleeper also those back seats are awesome. Also I would leave the outside looking how it looks so people just think it is a old worn out shitbox wagon.
I want that wagon! In my fantasy world, it would have Cragar mags, and I’d replace the wood applique with airbrushed wood going to flames going to charred wood.
And either velocity stacks or a big Rootes blower sticking through the hood.
Subtle, right?
I like the cut of your jib.
I approve the airbrush motif.
FI 347 stroker under the hood, true dual exhaust. Not super hot but a solid 300 hp would move this car smartly. You may need to upgrade the AOD but that’s not impossible. Slightly higher rate springs and heavier sway bar (cop car bits?) for the front. Then try to find a sway bar for the back as these had none. Turbine wheels are the best wheels – maybe a tad less sidewall height? You may be able to swap in bigger brakes, rear disks from a newer Panther donor.
My uncle had a conversion van, with a little TV in it mounted to the ceiling! Watching Wheel of Fortune while riding home was the pinnacle of cool to 7-year-old me.
Going Truckster – we had an ’85 Colony Park when I was in my teens. Put a lot of miles on that beast for vacations and Boy Scout trips, learned to drive in it, it dropped my off at college out of state and moved me into my first apartments.
Also, my recollection is these Ford vans were very noisy, particularly engine noise from the doghouse. The Panther is a better road tripper.
Many miles spent in the incredible hulk. A 70s country squire with a large v8. Dad said 400 ci ish. Just glided down the road. No matter how much crap we put it in. We also had the magnetic checker board table for hours of fun. Wagon for the win. I don’t need to stir up scary memories of my great aunts boudoir.
Also “set up for camping”? Suuuuuuure it is
Individual definitions of “camping” vary wildly.
I feel like this “camper” spent most of its time in the bushes if you catch my drift
Normally I’d take a van over a station wagon any day, but the pink interior was a deal breaker. And speaking of brakes, the rest of the lines are probably about to go. So, hard pass on the van.
Yeah, I was already leaning towards the wagon, but the pink interior in the van was definitely the push I needed to be onboard 100% with the wagon.
These are each a manual away from being the Autopian’s platonic ideal for cars. I expect this to be very, very close.
“platonic”