Good morning! Today we’re looking at two vehicles from the same manufacturer, from the same year, with the same basic mission: Taking the family on a road trip. But they go about it in very different ways.
Yesterday’s fixer-uppers came down to a nail-biter of a vote – as of 5:15 pm EDT, the Oldsmobile holds a very narrow but steady lead. And since that’s my choice as well, I’m calling it. Tie goes to the author, right? I think we can all agree that the Volvo might be a marginally nicer and more fun car, but GM parts availability is a definite advantage when it comes to keeping a cheap old car on the road.
And it didn’t even occur to me until a couple of you pointed it out that the red interior with the dark blue paint must have been a special order. Generally if left to their own devices, automakers back then matched the interior to the exterior, but in theory, you could have any combination you wanted, if you ordered it that way. And kudos to the original purchaser of this car for doing so; dark blue with a red interior is a very striking combination, even in a crappy old Oldsmobile.
All right: Raise your hand if your family took a lot of road trips when you were young. My hand is up; every summer we would hit the road, often headed for Colorado, because my mom loved it there, but we also went east a couple of times, once to New England and once to the Outer Banks and then working our way up to DC. But because my dad was who he was, we didn’t make these trips in typical family road-trip machines. The biggest car we ever took was a Dodge 600; otherwise it was a VW Dasher, or a Fiat 128, or a Pinto wagon. My brother and I would both stare longingly at the big comfy station wagons and conversion vans that other families got to travel in, while we crammed ourselves into a tiny back seat, with a cooler between us to keep us from fighting.
Today’s Country Squire and Econoline conversion van would have made our road trips a whole lot better, I imagine. But possibly less memorable. Suffering builds character, right?
1989 Ford LTD Crown Victoria Country Squire – $5,600
Engine/drivetrain: 5.0-liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Carlstadt, NJ
Odometer reading: 117,000 miles
Operational status: “It runs, drives, and stops”
The Ford Country Squire is, of course, the basis for the “Wagon Queen Family Truckster” featured in the 1983 film National Lampoon’s Vacation. “You think you hate it now,” quips Eugene Levy as a car salesman, “but wait ’till you drive it.” Vacation has had such a cultural impact that pretty much any full-size wood-sided wagon from the 1970s or 80s, regardless of manufacturer, is now referred to as a “Family Truckster.” The seller of this one has leaned into that fame, as witnessed by the vanity license plate: “GRISWOLD.”
The Country Squire, and its Mercury twin the Colony Park, are based on Ford’s long-lived Panther platform, a rock-solid chassis with a long history of service as police cars, taxicabs, and airport limos. A cross-country jaunt to Walley World is a piece of cake by comparison. This Squire runs and drives, the seller says, but they don’t elaborate. Whatever issues it may have won’t be a problem; Panther parts are easy to come by.
This is an eight-passenger wagon: three across the front bench, three in the back, and two inward-facing jump seats in the “way-back.” These fold into the floor to create a flat cargo area if you don’t need the extra seating. It looks like the way-back seats are vinyl, while the rest of the passengers get less-sweaty velour, and this was before the days of separate rear air conditioners, so rear passengers are stuck with whatever trickles in from the front vents.
It’s not so pretty on the outside, unfortunately. It’s more or less rust-free, but badly sun-bleached. I don’t have any idea how much work it would be to remove and redo all that fake woodgrain, but I imagine it’s a lot. Personally, I wouldn’t bother; if I went to all the trouble of stripping that crap off, it’s not going back on. I’d just give it a nice paint job and call it a day.
1989 Ford Econoline 150 XL conversion van – $5,500
Engine/drivetrain: Unspecified engine, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Plymouth, PA
Odometer reading: 86,000 miles
Operational status: Runs great, but needs a brake line replaced
Take one bare-bones work van, cut the roof off and replace it with a taller fiberglass cap, cover the inside with shag carpet, wood trim, and captain’s chairs and the outside with stripes, running boards, and a ladder, and you’ve got yourself a conversion van. You don’t see many new ones these days, but back in the ’80s, there was no cooler way to travel.
The foundation for this van is Ford’s legendary Econoline, in half-ton “150” form. Econolines of this era were available with a host of different engines, but the seller leaves us in the dark as to which one resides in this doghouse. Most likely it’s either a 5.0 or 5.8 liter Windsor V8, with fuel injection either way, but there is a chance that it’s a 300 cubic inch inline six. Whatever it is, the seller says it runs great, but it sounds like it isn’t quite roadworthy at the moment, due to a leaky brake line. The seller says they may fix it before the sale if they have time. As long as it isn’t rusty underneath, replacing a brake line and bleeding the brakes isn’t a hard job, though.
Inside, it’s pink. Oh so very pink. It looks like my aunt’s bathroom, right down to the shag carpeting (I wish I was joking). Apparently the seller’s dog got to some of the upholstery inside; it needs a little repair. Where you’re going to find pink velour to patch it up, I don’t know. This van is set up for camping, with a kitchenette, a sofa that folds down into a bed, and a toilet in the back. Everything works, the seller says, so that’s something.
It’s pink outside as well, with all the required add-ons, and only a little rust around the edges. It’s missing a hubcap, which makes any vehicle look a little ratty, but overall it doesn’t look too bad. You can roll into the KOA in style, and party like it’s 1989.
Yeah, I know: these things are both too old, nobody in their right mind would put their family into these deathtraps, blah blah blah. We somehow managed to survive. Besides, we’re mostly talking about a trip down memory lane, not down Interstate 80. Chances are, if you’re my age, you have some nostalgia for one of these two – even if it’s nostalgia for the jealousy you felt from the back seat of a Pinto. Which one is it?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)
Definitely the Plywood Pleasure Palace over the rape coach. Many good high school memories of them.
But both are gross for the prices being asked.
The wagon for sure. Rather do the ‘Vacation’ vibe vs the pervert candy guy vibe.
When does Wally World close anyhow? Did they get a new security guard yet?
BTW, my old man once crammed 16 people, (2 parents and kids, blended family) into a 74 Ford wagon. Drove 1500 miles in the summer, down into Dixie. Upon arrival, two of my step siblings immediately caught a plane to go live with the real Dad.
Can totally understand that. Shit happens.
YMMV.
I came into this article thinking there was no other option than the wagon, and while I ultimately did choose the wagon, I had second thoughts when I saw the van’s oh-so-pink interior. It’s so ugly it’s cool.
Toilet in the back of that van also influenced my vote. I built vans for many years.
Can promise you that thing reeks at 35 years old. Even without that potty thing.
I was all ready to vote for the conversion van, but then I saw the toilet.I’m not looking for a camper-lite–I want a living room on wheels for my road trip. Bathrooms that I don’t have to clean are plentiful across this great land. That Country Squire will do just fine.
I’ll go with the wagon.
The only thing I’d have to argue with is whether I should refurbish the wood paneling (vynil trim is readily available) or remove the heck out of it and re-spray it in that OEM light crystal blue metallic along some Cragars for a clean look
My grandfather had that exact wagon! One of the first vehicles i ever drove, and it shuttled my family to Mt.Katahdin for a great hiking trip in supreme comfort. loved that car, but the tin termites took it away before its time. Ford paint back then was, uh, barely better than it is now. Woof. I likely wont buy another brand new car from ford (i bought my only brand new car from my dad, who was a ford salesman) as they rely on the engineered rust obsolescence that took way too many cars off the road before their time. F-U consumers! we’ve got quarterly gains to report!
I actually owned a Woody Wagon, a 1977 Ford LTD II Country Squire in green, mine was identical to the one pictured here:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2f/6d/3f/2f6d3f8349b1e0e6c7311102ff6466c2.jpg
IT had a 302 V8 and it was the first car I that bought. I bought it from my friends Uncle because he was selling it so cheap ($900.00) and I needed a car ! It was 6 years old and had 101,000 miles on it . I drove it for a year, it ran like a top! I ended up selling it to a guy who showed up with his 4 kids and I sold the car for $75.00 more then I paid for it a year earlier!
One funny story. When I arrived at home and showed my Mother the car I just had bought, the first thing she said was: “I better not see curtains installed in those side windows”!!! (The cargo area windows) 🙂
As someone who grew up in the way back of a second-hand ’74 Country Squire, and later an ’87 Taurus wagon, this is about as easy a decision there is. I’d love nothing more than to subject…sorry, I mean spoil, my kids with the joys of riding on shapeless small vinyl benches 25 feet away from the nearest A/C vent on a sweltering summer day.
That will straighten them up fast. 74 Country Squire road trip victim here as well. We did close to 25K in road trips one summer in that piece. Some scars are slow to heal.
I still remember a drive down to Houston in the late-80s, sitting at a gas station somewhere outside Dallas, with my dad staring forlornly at an overheating engine vomiting coolant all over the hot pavement.
We would do non stop from Estes to Mobile Al. 1500 miles each way.
My old man was a sadist…
When that bastard was sleeping I would be hitting 80-90 mph just to make better time. He couldn’t understand why I got 6 mpg with that 460 ci engine, while he could squeeze 8 out of it. Oh well.
You guys got 6 MPG out of the 460? Impressive. Feel like we were getting 6 gallons per mile.
6 mpg using the cruise control. Police Interceptor 460, could literally watch gas gauge move.
Those things had A/C such that you could hang meat in them back there. At least if your cheapskate Yankee grandparents paid for the A/C option in the first place, which mine did not. “Builds character” was their standard reply as to why not.
If my father was being truthful in 1976, adding AC to the car he bought new — a Plymouth Volare wagon — would have added $500 to the cost. I don’t know how to verify if that was truly how much adding AC was back then, but the car itself would have probably cost about $5K, so adult me can see why an English teacher with 3 children might think there were better ways of spending that money.
I probably still have scars on the back of my legs from sitting on those red vinyl seats on those summer road trips to the Black Hills or wherever — proof of my character, I suppose.
ETA: voted for the wagon!
The A/C in ours never worked, so we just had that sliding rear window to cool us off…and get high on exhaust fumes.
Eugene Levy was great as the sleezy used-car salesman for Lou Glutz motors. What’s also great is there’s apparently a real “Lou Glutz Motors” in Eugene, OR of all places. Roadtrip (in the wagon of course)!
Being a diehard Mercury fan, Dad had an ’82 Colony Park. For some reason, he didn’t like the Ford vans, so he also had a series of Dodge vans in the 80’s and 90’s. He knew his way under the hood, so I’m assuming there was a good reason he avoided the Econolines. The mauve interior and paint, along with a toilet in a carpeted area, in a vehicle that small simply make the decision easier.
So, in his memory, I’m voting for the Colony’s twin-sister.
A conversion van with a toilet and everything cloth and carpet? I’m not sure fire would kill everything in it. I don’t mind driving stripped down contractor Econolines, but not a heavy conversion van, especially with that interior, and I prefer wagons even if it’s a Country Squire. Both are overpriced.
The van is the better value, even with the brake work, but I have to go for the wagon. A vacuuming would’ve gone a long way, but GRISWOLD probably knows what he’s got.
My name is Clark. And I like wagons. Easy choice for me today!
Congratulations! it’s a beaut Clark it’s a beaut!
Oh God. My aunt had a Colony Park back in the 90’s, all red leather (/vinyl?) interior. The second row windows didn’t work. She had three kids, and we were also a family of three kids, and we’d often get shoved into that thing for trips between Upstate NY and the Lehigh Valley (PA). Oh the motion sickness of being in the way back of that floaty-ass wagon, sitting sideways.
Oh and while that way back area is supposed to seat two, you bet your ass we often got four kids back there. So while you may have envied the other family’s with large wagons, keep in mind that some of them were crammed with so many children, you’d be better off in the back of a Fiat. I sweat profusely just thinking about being back in that thing.
That being said I still took the wagon because like most, I’m a sucker for even painful forms of nostalgia.
Only four, there were times me and my total of eight sibling and cousins were back there in Gramp’s wagon. Seats? Yeah, right, we were kids, we didn’t get SEATS. Those were for the adults. We were lucky we were going somewhere, so sit down and shut up.
Agree about the ride – blech. Absolutely nautical. I puked out the way-back window more than once as a kid.
Those full-sized vans are NOT fun to drive, in fact it’s a chore. I’ll take the Panther.
….I drove a ’97 conversion Econoline for 7 years and generally liked it. Are the pre-’92 ones that much worse?
Although I admit I’m not a fan of the dual fuel tanks.
OK but going by your handle, you’re predisposed to vans, and that’s cool. I have an aversion to sitting up high, so to me the old vans feel just like Peterbilts.
Fair enough. I was wondering what aspect made it a chore.
But my conversion van was also certainly more luxurious than a cargo van, so even when carrying band or DJ equipment, it never felt like a chore to me.
Which one is easier to swap a Godzilla into? 😛
The van might have been a good idea one toilet and several yards of shag carpeting ago, but not on this day. We’ll take the Country Squire, find a good wrap to refresh the wood-grain siding, and invite seven of our closest friends to the drive-in.
I love the pink inside and out, but yeah…I want a living room on wheels, not a toilet with wheels.
WAGON. The answer is always wagon. Why do we keep having this conversation over settled law? *glances nervously at Supreme Court*
WIATA?
WIATA buy more wagons!
It seems they’ve decided that no law is “settled”.
First they came for our Kei trucks, now if you want a wagon, you’ll have to complete the transaction out of state!
They’ll force us to carry Crossovers to term! No trade-ins!
Perhaps they should read the Constitution. At least once.
I have more faith in the judgements made on the Peoples Court.
Not since Wapner left.
Was waiting for this. But for some weird reason Judge Milan seemed pretty hot to me, like 20 some years ago. Things change though.
Daily the wagon while building a mild 408W.
Then consider 31×10.50s in the future.
My dad low key looked like Clark growing up, so Country Squire for me!
This is an easy one for me. I have some great memories of times spent in conversion vans (ahem), but that pink interior is uninhabitable, even with the toilet removed. I’ll choose to live like a country squire in the Country Squire.
We had the same Country Squire in the early 2000’s. I think my dad paid $500 for it. Paying over 5 grand seems pretty unbelievable. However, the wagon is the better of the two cars.
All y’all, y’all are wrong. That pink van is amazing.
The only person who likes those is Charles Guan.
That van needs to die. Gimme the long roof.
Way back in time Longroofs were the first choice of the industrious and the dreamers. I remember several successful contractors who started out using the family wagon for side jobs, piling extension ladders on the roof rack and toolboxes on the fold-down floor.
Musicians would line the floor with blankets and pillows, load drums, amps, and even young fans of legal age after the show.
I knew a potter ceramicist who used the back of their Datsun wagon for a combo studio and sometime living quarters when things got tight. And things were usually tight.
Sure, you could do all this in an SUV, but it just doesn’t seem to be this way much of the time. Of course, maybe I’m outside the window of visibility: I don’t hang with potters anymore (my loss), and I don’t pay much attention to up and coming contractors either (too much time in construction industry).
I guess wagons are just nice to have around. They’re not a truck, so of course they get used like a truck. But they are definitely a car, and that’s why most of us are here.
Country Squire fer this old guy.