Home » Fear Of The Dark: 2002 Pontiac Grand Am vs 2008 Honda Civic

Fear Of The Dark: 2002 Pontiac Grand Am vs 2008 Honda Civic

Sbsd 10 31 2024
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Happy Halloween, Autopians! I hope you’re all ready for a good scare, because today’s choices are absolutely terrifying. And there is a scenario to go along with them, to help you make your choice. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Yesterday, we looked at a couple of Cadillac hearses from different eras, and as I suspected, rear-wheel-drive won the day. I think this is the right choice. The FWD Deville just doesn’t look quite right, and the possibilities for customization are pretty slim. Besides, how can you pass up a hearse with white-letter tires on it?

Vidframe Min Top
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The DeVille had its fans, however, and more than one of you wanted to remove the rear section of roof and turn it into a ute. But no one wanted to add a pop-top to it and make it a camper. I’m disappointed.

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And speaking of custom hearses, I just have to show you all my favorite, my friend Eric’s 1966 Cadillac, which if I remember right started life as a Miller-Meteor combination hearse/ambulance. Now it’s completely its own entity, something Eric calls “Dead Storage.” He repaints it and changes it up every so often; apparently it’s now in the midst of yet another metamorphosis. But here’s how it looked a year or two ago. (Oh yeah, and the surfboard is his custom paint job, too.)

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Image credit: Eric Rhodes

All right. So here’s the scenario for today’s choices. After years of seeing you fix up old cars, your good friend has decided he wants in on the fun as well. The trouble is, he knows nothing about cars. Without asking you, he has narrowed down his choices to these two, um, “vehicles,” both of which are in his meager price range. He has already contacted both sellers and set up a time to go check them out: after dark, tonight.

He wants you to go along and look at them with him. You’ve already told him you don’t have time; you have to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters tonight, and besides, you have a Scream movie marathon planned. But you take one look at the choices, and realize you can keep him from making one mistake, at least. You will go with him to see one car.

So your mission, on this Halloween, is to choose which of these backyards looks like a less scary place to be after dark, checking out an old busted car.

2002 Pontiac Grand Am GT – $500

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Engine/drivetrain: 3.4-liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, FWD

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Location: Delmar, DE

Odometer reading: 145,000 miles

Operational status: Dead battery, will run with a jump, but has no brakes

The Pontiac Grand Am is no stranger to this site, of course. Nor is it a stranger to used car lots, high-school parking lots, pizza delivery joints, and, pertinent to our discussion here, back alleys. None of this is the Grand Am’s fault; it’s actually a pretty decent little car, for what it is. It just fell in with a sketchy crowd, like the Chevy Nova before it and the Nissan Altima after it.

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This is a final-generation Grand Am, a GT model, powered by a 3.4 liter version of GM’s 60-degree V6 that puts out a stout 205 horsepower. It does run; GM pushrod V6s are about as complex as anvils, and very hard to kill entirely, but the battery is toast, so it needs a jump-start to get going. But don’t think it’s as simple as getting a jump and driving home; the seller says it needs brake lines, so it will have to be towed.

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It looks like this car has been sitting right where it is for a while, at least long enough to start sinking into the ground. The tires have got to be completely shot by now, and I imagine sitting on the ground has done some terrible things to the suspension and exhaust as well, not to mention the floorboards. And the only photos we get of the interior are of the instrument panel, which doesn’t bode well for its condition.

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On the plus side, it’s remarkably complete, and the glass is all intact. It probably could be saved, as long as it isn’t all rotted out underneath. But according to our scenario, you’d have to look underneath it in the dark to find out.

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2008 Honda Civic Hybrid – $900

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Engine/drivetrain: 1.3-liter overhead cam inline 4 with electric motor assist, CVT, FWD

Location: Delmar, DE

Odometer reading: 160,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives, I think…?

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And here we have that paragon of efficiency and reliability, the Honda Civic Hybrid. This is the second generation of Honda’s uber-high-mileage version of the Civic, powered by a little 1.3 liter four that gets a boost from an electric motor between it and its continuously variable transmission. Honda threw every trick in the book at this thing to boost fuel economy, and it worked – but man, are these not exciting cars to drive. Unless, that is, you consider fearing for your safety as you try to merge into traffic on the 710 freeway exciting. A company I worked for in Los Angeles had one as a company car, and I was not a fan.

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This one has clearly seen better days. Its hood and right front fender are completely absent, and its front bumper doesn’t match. It must have been in a wreck, and only partially repaired. And it looks like the air conditioning condenser, or what’s left of it, is lying on top of the engine. Despite this, if I’m reading the ad right, the car runs and drives.

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One other thing that’s missing from this car is the title. The seller is selling it for parts only due to this, but I’d still like to know what happened to the title. Is it really their car to sell? Who knows? Maybe it really belongs to the cats. They sure seem to think it does.

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And of course, we don’t get any photos of the interior. You would think that if someone is trying to sell a car for parts, they’d want to show off all the useable parts. I guess we have to assume that the interior is trashed. At the very least, I assume the airbags are blown from whatever impact took out the front end.

Obviously, these are both terrible ideas, and both in what look like really sketchy places. And to make matters worse, as fas as we have been able to tell so far, there are no streetlights in the town of Delmar. But a friend is a friend, and you said you’d help, so you are doomed to spend Halloween night poking around at one of these wrecks in the dark. So which one will it be?

(Image credits: sellers)

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Mazzaratti5
Mazzaratti5
8 minutes ago

Oh man, nostalgia dictates I take the pontiac. I adored my ’01 Grand Am GT back in college. In fact, intake gaskets and a leaky fuel rail on that 3.4 were my first real “big” DIY. Quite familiar with that engine bay.

Last edited 7 minutes ago by Mazzaratti5
Baja_Engineer
Baja_Engineer
21 minutes ago

I clicked Nope, but the Grand Am seems doable and if it really only needs brakes and a battery you could end up with a halfway decent beater at around $1K

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
58 minutes ago

Grand Am for me. It’s cheap enough to qualify as a 24 hour of Lemons racer and isn’t missing parts like that Civic is.

And $900 for that Civic with parts missing is pure crack pipe.

Myk El
Myk El
58 minutes ago

[awhellnaw.jpg]

Tasteful Noodles
Tasteful Noodles
58 minutes ago

The Pontiac could *probably* get into running condition *relatively* easily, but the after that’s done, you’re still stuck in an 02 Grand Am. This is the lowest of lowpoints for GM interiors, and this example is probably worse than average.

Then there’s the Civic Hybrid – these were lightyears behind the hybrid technology Toyota was using at the time. Complex, not all that efficient, and made it probably the worst Civic of my lifetime. And the interior is probably worse than the Pontiac’s.

Easy nope today.

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
57 minutes ago

his is the lowest of lowpoints for GM interiors, “

Nope… the Chevette was lower than that.

TDI_FTW
TDI_FTW
1 hour ago

Without the “nope” option, I’d go with the Pontiac. It looks like less of a nightmare and the entry price is cheaper, so if it all goes up in smoke you’re (or in this case your friend’s) out less cash.

LMCorvairFan
LMCorvairFan
1 hour ago

Strongly suggest something else or a bus pass. The real reason for no interior pics … kittens.

Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
2 hours ago

Remember that article a while back about what car you would wish on your worst enemy? The answer is either of these, and send him in place of your buddy tonight.

This has Jordan Peele horror movie vibes all over it. I’ll bet that little shed in the background is where they dismember the bodies.

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
2 hours ago

Wow, we really need to find better friends.

The Pontiac is undoubtedly completely rotted out underneath that cladding, but I guess we could probably get it running because GM. There is no hope for that Civic.

The correct answer is Nope, but I’ll play the game for real and say Pontiac.

You can’t fix stupid though, now can you?

Cyko9
Cyko9
2 hours ago

Probably not a great decision, but for the price, the Grand Am can be worked on. Just not sure why you would. The Honda is too sketchy to even care about. It could also be revived, but it’s not worth it. The right decision is probably “nope” and your buddy puts his $500-900 toward a vehicle worth repairing and keeping.

Beater_civic
Beater_civic
2 hours ago

If we’re judging by the yards then the Honda House is already a murder scene. The victim was fun, and the weapon was a CVT. The killers will strike again.

Kyree
Kyree
2 hours ago

I’m not a fan of either of these. On one hand, I have a serious issue with the lackadaisical sorrow of the Pontiac Grand Was and the other GM N-bodies.

On the other, the eighth-gen Honda Civic wasn’t very good to begin with–rampant quality issues–and yet is so overrated that a 16-year-old example has to descend to this inexcusable condition in order to reach a reasonable price for what it is. And it’s the esoteric, uncommon hybrid model, at that.

I guess I’d take the Pontiac. It looks serviceable, once the brakes and battery are sorted. The Honda looks like it’s not worth its weight in parts…the ones that are still there, anyway.

Last edited 2 hours ago by Kyree
EastbayLoc
EastbayLoc
3 hours ago

I think a “friend” doesn’t let his buddy anywhere near these two. I suppose if I had to choose to check one out at night, it would be the Pontiac. It’s not my money anyway and I don’t want a couple of surly cats jumping on me in the dark so…

JDE
JDE
3 hours ago

Having riven a Gutless Honda Insight from 2008 ish, I can say I would be very unlikely to go witht he Honda. I assume it drives similarly and the insight was really bad when newish, no way on and old Hybrid with a CVT.

ESO
ESO
3 hours ago

Grand Am. If it really starts and moves with “only a jump” there will be no need for brakes as I’ll be jumping in and full throttle outta there!

Last edited 3 hours ago by ESO
Stephen Reed
Stephen Reed
3 hours ago

Nope. And just for expecting me to drop what I’m doing to go look at these two turds without talking to me first? Middle finger.

Gun to the head, have to choose between the two? Or I care enough to maintain the friendship? The Grand Am.

The Mark
The Mark
3 hours ago

I don’t think voting “nope” keeps with the spirit of the mind game here! Anyway, the area surrounding the Grand Am looks a lot less like a set from Friday the 13th so I went with that.

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