I suppose this was inevitable: you can now have a Tesla Cybertruck upfitted for police duty. Yes, following in the footsteps of such legendary cars as the Dodge Diplomat or the Volkswagen Rabbit, the Cybertruck can now be had with reds and blues and prisoner partitions and even K9 enclosures, all thanks to Tesla upfitter UP.FIT. The company is part of Unplugged Performance, one of the first Tesla tuning companies. Police departments have been reportedly excited about this, according to publications like Law Enforcement Today, perhaps because it allows for all sorts of RoboCop/Judge Dredd-types of future-cop fantasies to feel a bit more real as law enforcement officers muscle shoplifting teens and deadbeat dads into the back of their electric low-polygon stainless steel land-speeders.
The cop-spec Cybertruck offers a number of enhancements to the consumer-grade truck, which I’ll quote from UP.FIT’s press release to give you the full rundown:
“The UP.FIT Cybertruck combines Tesla’s unparalleled electric vehicle technology with Unplugged Performance’s expertise in vehicle modification and adaptation to deliver a complete turn-key solution to meet the needs of police departments. It features the expected suite of warning lights, sirens, PA system, as well as upgraded radio and computer systems thanks to specialized wiring systems and proprietary integrations. UP.FIT Cybertruck can be customized for tactical, military or search and rescue missions with available prisoner partitions, storage for weapons and specialty tools, K9 enclosures, upgraded vehicle dynamics with specialized UP.FIT Forged wheel and tire packages, braking systems, and optional upgrades for extreme off-road usage, as well as Starlink internet connectivity. Law enforcement agencies and fleet operators will find the UP.FIT Cybertruck a key advancement in practical policing, offering officers the best tools to protect and serve communities effectively.”
The upgraded radio and computer systems and specialized wiring systems I’m curious about; is this referring to the special terminals (like the legendary SCMODS) that cop cars already have, or is this something new and different?
https://t.co/m8yvbWeZtS introduces the world’s first duty-ready Cybertruck. This Next-Gen Patrol vehicle, expands the capability of this new platform for tactical response, patrol and Fire response. The future has arrived, and it’s ready for anything. pic.twitter.com/sJHdGsipg5
— UP.FIT (@UpfitTesla) June 7, 2024
The promo pictures released by UP.FIT include the expected cop-car-with-all-the-cool-lights-on photos, and also a number of photos with military-like tactical gear casually and artfully draped in the interior:
That shot also shows the added control panel of pleasingly illuminated physical buttons, which makes me wonder: is the Cybertruck’s huge center-stack touchscreen employed to act as the cop terminal’s display? Adding another console with a separate display seems a bit absurd, considering what comes in the car already. So far, I’m not sure how this is working, though I believe there is a web browser in Tesla’s software, which could allow for cop-specific software to run in a browser and use some manner of StarLink internet connection. But I’m just guessing.
They’re really enjoying draping that helmet and vest on here.
Okay, okay, we get it, there’s hardcore tactical equipment! This is a big, scary, law-enforcing machine, got it.
The cop-spec Cybertruck has different wheels and tires than the consumer-grade one, too. These aren’t the rugged steelies seen on iconic cop cars like the Ford Crown Victoria, but are custom-forged wheels.
I’d be curious to see how the large bed area is utilized; is it all racks of tactical gear? Is it a dungeon for particularly uncooperative perps? Just open space? Nap area? Maybe they’ll release some pictures of that, too. Same goes for the frunk; what’s in there?
The cop Cybertrucks also seem to have at least a partial black wrap from the beltline down; it’s hard to see in this profile pic, which looks all black:
Those side lights are interesting, too. A three-quarter view here seems to show the upper stainless area more clearly:
I like those searchlights, too.
As I said, I’m not surprised to see police Cybertruck variants; the imposing look of these seems like it would appeal to police agencies, for better or worse. The tone of these is a lot less “protect and serve” and a lot more “pursue and subdue,” but I guess that’s the way the world is at the moment.
Can’t wait for the first ‘accidental’ death in custody due to execution by sharp door frame.
I’m just imagining all the ways dirty cops could abuse their powers in these. E.g., they could cut a suspect’s fingers by running them down the sharp corners lightly.
So do suspects get to sue both Tesla and their friendly local PD when they get a nasty cut across the carotid being dragged over the threshold into the backseat?
https://i.gifer.com/6bZx.gif
These are going to be awesome for two reasons: operating costs and fuel availability. Basically you’re looking at power and tires, with the occasional wiper blade change. Cheap. Meanwhile, I’ve lived in areas that have completely run out of gas. No gas. It’s not hard to get electricity back up, but a screwed pipeline is a major issue — and Torch, your gas comes up from Alabama in a pipeline. But I guess you have the ChangLi, so you’re good.
There’s something terrifying about how they lovingly drape the camo and armor everywhere in each scene.
Maybe police shouldn’t be marketed to like you’re doing a real-life Call of Duty.
And the blacked-out “ghost” graphics. Seems they lost the plot when it turned from “protect and serve” to “war on the evil bad guys.”
Hey, Torch,
This has nothing to do with this Tonka truck cosplay post, but I just finished watching Keith Robinson’s new special on Netflix. He talks a whole bunch about his strokes and all the time in the hospital. Quality shitting on nurses material! Thought you might enjoy the recommendation 🙂
People love to flex their steroids.
First of all, we already got Ford Taurus cop cars, just a few decades later than we’d hoped. I’ve even seen them in matte finish paint jobs. I hope the police that drive them do their best to say things like “you’re coming with me.”
Second, law enforcement vehicles are usually hugely standardized to meet (to paraphrase Elwood) cop specs. Even down to things like how officers fit in them wearing all the usual gear.
I don’t imagine this is, so at best, it’s like buying a one-off vehicle for some unusual, non-sustainable purpose. Procurement officers who are on the hook for what governments buy tend to have problems with that sort of thing as it’s difficult to justify – “best value” it’s probably not.
Basically, yet another “tacticool” display vehicle to look intimidating at parades and D.A.R.E. presentations.
man those vibes are just the worst
Imposing isn’t a word I would use for the Cybertruck. I saw my second one on the road just a few minutes ago. The first one I saw prompted the phrase “featureless gray lump” to pop into my head, and this second time, “unfinished” was the descriptor that first came to mind.
The apex-mounted light bar really drives home the “kindergartener drawing his idea of a really cool police car” vibes.
how would they secure weapons in the truck. can you really call the rolly-uppy tonneau cover “safe” for weapons? It looks like they just painted it black, put wheels and tires on it and installed a RGB gaming keyboard on the console and called it a day.
I’m not going to echo others about this being a bad/silly/dumb purchase using tax dollars for police departments, as all those points are valid and I agree.
I will, however, say that I am a fan of a black wrap on the Cybertruck. I saw my third Cybertruck last week and it had a matte black wrap that helped it blend into the night so I could see less of it, and if the thing must exist, seeing less of it is a win in my book.
Would definitely not look out of place with an OCP logo on the side.
how to make the least trustworthy vehicle of all time even more sus: this
Yugo, Girl!
That lead image makes me want to put a “flesh” colored 80’s style bra on the thing.
I’ll admit my knowledge of bras is limited to how to remove them with my eyes closed, but what exactly makes a bra “80’s style”?
AFAIK just a regular car bra. I just haven’t seen them actually used since the 80’s
Here’s one that makes a Mini look like the face on a gimp suit.
https://api.calcarcover.com/data/default/images/catalog/1000/Turnkey/1/colgan3-769.jpg
Oh, *car* bra! The flesh colored thing threw me off. I have no experience removing one of those with my eyes closed.
That’s a pity.
To me, all car bras are from the ’80s or ’90s. I know they existed before then and no doubt there are still people buying them somewhere at this very moment, but to me, they started with rich guys and 911s and then made their way down the automotive food chain to my friend Chuck’s ’90 Pontiac Grand Am coupe.
But I actually do own one myself. I once drove my Porsche cross-country, so I own an actual Porsche one. I’ve used it exactly once. Every now and again, I take it out and look it and remember the ride.
You gotta remove them with your teeth. It’s a game changer.
I’ll bet that gets your Mini Cooper all hot and bothered, doesn’t it?
I haven’t asked.
This is all very dystopian and whatnot, if admittedly the most appropriate imaginable use for the Cybertruck as I even figured it was inspired by authoritarian government vehicles in cyberpunk stories, but…
Is it wrong that I kinda dig those wheels? They’re a wonderfully simple, purposeful, and I would even say elegant design. You could put those on all kinds of vehicles and they would look good. They’re just the right amount of interesting, without being too flashy or gaudy like the vast majority of aftermarket truck wheels. They’d look great on something like a Ford Bronco or even a sports/muscle car. Heck if they offered a smaller version, I think they’d spice up economy cars pretty nicely too.
They’re good wheels, and they don’t scream authoritarian without the rest of the package. I suspect they don’t make them in house, so they might well be available elsewhere for other vehicles.
They do look good, especially with that wheel/tire ratio.
And maybe they don’t slice up the tires like the stock setup does.
Honestly, police agencies might be the best customers for these: ridiculously large budgets, plenty of idle time, a desire to look imposing, and likely don’t have an issue being associated with Elon Musk.
Which cops have ridiculously large budgets anymore? You’d get paid more working at In N Out these days.
Chicago cops make $55K to start with, climbing to $82K annually after 18 months. It’s tough work, but it pays better than a lot of departments.
That’s pretty good pay, but a lot of ask for the money in Chicago. Either way, the city of Chicago certainly factors that in before they buy a fleet of Teslas. One would hope…
I’m sure this is just hyperbole, but beyond it being untrue, cops aren’t buying their own patrol vehicles.
While not every department has a huge budget, there are plenty that do. Some cities (not the majority) spend over 40% of their total annual budget on police. Many more spend over 25%. Considering this is marketed as a tactical vehicle (as opposed to a regular patrol vehicle), I would suspect that many agencies could find room in their budget for one of these for their SWAT team if they so choose. Of course, they can get surplus military equipment a lot cheaper (the 1033 program sends out APCs and other military vehicles to agencies that just have to pay shipping, but then have to maintain and fuel them, which can get very expensive), but it’s designed for warfare, not policing.
As far as pay, though, US cops have a higher median salary ($65,790) than the median US salary ($48,060).
Approving purchase of these for any publicly-funded police force should be immediate grounds for removal of any purchase approval authority, and probably dismissal for cause.
Seriously. The number of actually useful things that don’t fall apart you could spend these funds on instead is unreal.
Cyber truck or a f#ckton of guns. Maybe the truck is the better call.
or better yet, services that actually help people out instead of just punish
Where’s the fun in that?
who thought this was a good idea? beyond Idiocracy…
The frunk is clearly where you put perps you need to keep separate from perps in the cabin.
I guess it would technically have 3 holding cells? Bed (w/cover locked), rear seat, and frunk?
What an idiotic waste of public funds that would be.
That being said, I do think there is something to be said for police fleets switching to EVs or at least hybrids when a cost effective model is produced. I’d think without the need for much range, and the long idle periods cop cars would be a perfect use case for EVs that probably could pay for themselves over time.
It will be able to ford a class III puddle and climb over sticks up to 2.5″ (63.5mm) in diameter.
I wonder how they are powering that equipment given the electrical architecture of the Cybertruck.
Also, this is dumb.
Any police chief submitting a purchase order request for one of these should be summarily fired, then shot to keep them from being hired somewhere else.