This is the future, huh? This bullshit? No jetpacks or pills that pop into 16-inch pizzas when subjected to a drop of water, just brand-new cars that listen to our conversations and then try to show us ads for endless breadsticks and boner pills right there on the mothertrusting dashboard. Who wanted this? How did we end up here? What went so wrong that we’re employing staggering computing power to sneakily butt into private conversations with un-asked for advice? Ugh. Whatever went wrong, Ford seems to be embracing it, at least if we are to believe this patent application submitted by Ford on August 29, 2024.
The patent is for “IN-VEHICLE ADVERTISEMENT PRESENTATION SYSTEMS AND METHODS,” and that string of words alone shouldn’t exist in a civilized society, ideally. Here’s what the patent application’s abstract says about the plan:
“In-vehicle advertisement presentation systems and methods are disclosed herein. An example method includes determining vehicle information for a trip, the vehicle information including any one or more of a current vehicle location, a vehicle speed, a drive mode, and/or traffic information, determining user information, the user information including any one or more of a route prediction for the trip, a speed prediction for the trip, and/or a destination, determining user preferences for advertisements from any one or more of audio signals within the vehicle and/or historical user data, selecting a number of the advertisements to present to the user during the trip, and providing the advertisements to the user during the trip through a human-machine interface (HMI) of the vehicle.”
“Submitting patent applications is a normal part of any strong business as the process protects new ideas and helps us build a robust portfolio of intellectual property.
“The ideas described within a patent application should not be viewed as an indication of our business or product plans. [Ford] will always put the customer first in the decision-making behind the development and marketing of new products and services.”
Sometimes, just sometimes in patent law, there is something called a defensive patient. You apply for it and defend it just so that nobody else can use it and never use it yourself. I can say from experience that this happens. One could hope that this is a possibility, but I am probably just thinking wishfully.
I was thinking exactly this. I so very much hope that this is what’s going on, and would raise Ford a little in my eyes.
with the way the greed is now, I am surprised it has not been implemented earlier.
Yeah, fuck this…fuck Fix Or Repair Daily
Box 204 … has me thinking that routing may be optimized for ads and opportunities to spend
GAWD – hope this is the automotive version of capture and kill
Think I’ll hang on to my daily driver a bit longer (’71 Ford F100 Pickup)
Waze does this, kind of. You get little ads for a nearby restaurant or store while you have the map open. I assume this is simply by route mapping and its not listening to your conversations, right? Right?
They really are piling up the “great” ideas over at Ford: https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a43126498/ford-patent-autonomous-systems-vehicle-repossession/
How about just build a car that runs reliably, isn’t recalled every other week, and doesn’t sit in a repair shop the weeks it is not recalled.
Maybe bankruptcy is the only way to make Farley understand…if he does not listen at this rate…
I hope they do this and then get sued into oblivion by lawyers claiming it’s a road distraction, which causes everyone else in the industry to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM IT.
When the airbags deploy you will immediately get a series of ads for personal injury attorneys.
and if they don’t… you will be automatically directed to the funeral services and estate attorneys
So mechanics will make money removing hammers from touchscreens.
And selling them in the first place!
You don’t get a patent because you want to do something, you get a patent so that you can keep somebody else from doing something without paying you. A subtle difference.
I clicked for 021C content and read about Clippy for Cars. “Did you just pick up a date? Got protection?”
Oh, almost forgot, it’s Ford so it’s Clippy for Trucks. “That cargo is a hot mess, got a bedliner?”
Like that 021C, wish that they would build it.
You are just driving along but then suddenly your car goes into limp mode because it cannot find a signal to load the ad and since the ad is supposed to pop up on an info-mat screen that controls everything in the car you now have to pull over and soft reboot your car.
Or it will be sorry you want to see what speed you are going? Fuck you here is 3 minute ad for temu you cannot click to go away for 10 seconds and the x you need to click is so tiny you accidentally click the ad and it brings up a shitty webpage/app down load page and now you have crashed because you were fidgeting with a screen to get your speedometer and other info you need while driving back on said screen.
I know GMC/Chevrolet have some pretty stupid ideas as well such as removing Carplay/Auto and charging money for remote start but NOTHING even as close to this…
I forgot to mention the useless “massaging” seats the Prius now has, and also some other extra useless features.
I’m sure this will be rolled out incrementally where it’s just targeted audio ads first. Then, short pop-up ads when you start an app. Finally, non-stop banner ads that cannot be dismissed punctuated with full screen ads while retaining the banner.
ok, how much will the subscription service be to turn it off?
Jason, you are my hero today for this mere reason “Fuck that. Fuck all of this, vigorously and dementedly.”. Aye!!!
On the patent note, one would think that amazon already has a patent on being fucking annoying. Even more annoying than the damn Duolingo bird mascot.
Fuckery aside, I do like the Ford Electro vehicle pictured though. It has some strong Ace vibes about it and I would actually go out of my way to take a look at one… which is a sure sign that ford will never produce it as they are the company that only produces anal blockage shite stoppers of crap cars. GT40 aside…
Hey!
…they also built the Flex…
Marketeers will stop at nothing.
For example directional speakers have been used for decades to target very specific passers by for advertising:
“The projected sound produced by the Audio Spotlight speakers was a woman’s whispering voice that startled and entertained passersby with spooky and suggestive messages such as “Who’s that?,” “Who’s there?,” and “It’s not your imagination.” To those within the narrow coverage area, the sounds seemed as though they were being whispered right next to their heads, while others standing right next to them heard nothing, thanks to the focused sound beam of the Audio Spotlight.”
https://www.holosonics.com/applications/creative-marketing
I can only imagine how someone with multiple personality disorder feels when they hear voices that someone a few feet away can’t.
We need to send Kyle Reese back in time to prevent the creation of that garbage technology. I’m having a hard time coming up with a single non-shitty use for it.
In a country with terrible mental health care, lax gun laws and out of control gun violence this is a ticking bomb.
You can try Qatar then. No Crime due to capital punishment.
Strange, somehow in the US and Europe the death penalty is criticized as an effective deterrent to crime.
There are states with the death penalty also…
Ford has self eliminated from my potential buy list. Any manufacturer who puts this into their products will be removed from that list.
To be fair, I GREATLY dislike Fords…aside from panther platforms and maybe early 2V engines and 7.3 IDIs, and the 6.2L BOSS V8.
I’ve owned a few Ford’s over the years. Both were in the lower part of the meh, okay scale, so not much of a look in my books.
In Qatar, they are generally not popular.
So when someone driving a car with this system runs into my car, how much can I sue Ford for?
Nothing. All evidence will be erased and the driver gaslighted.
It will pull a Tesla and stop right before the moment of impact.