This is the future, huh? This bullshit? No jetpacks or pills that pop into 16-inch pizzas when subjected to a drop of water, just brand-new cars that listen to our conversations and then try to show us ads for endless breadsticks and boner pills right there on the mothertrusting dashboard. Who wanted this? How did we end up here? What went so wrong that we’re employing staggering computing power to sneakily butt into private conversations with un-asked for advice? Ugh. Whatever went wrong, Ford seems to be embracing it, at least if we are to believe this patent application submitted by Ford on August 29, 2024.
The patent is for “IN-VEHICLE ADVERTISEMENT PRESENTATION SYSTEMS AND METHODS,” and that string of words alone shouldn’t exist in a civilized society, ideally. Here’s what the patent application’s abstract says about the plan:
“In-vehicle advertisement presentation systems and methods are disclosed herein. An example method includes determining vehicle information for a trip, the vehicle information including any one or more of a current vehicle location, a vehicle speed, a drive mode, and/or traffic information, determining user information, the user information including any one or more of a route prediction for the trip, a speed prediction for the trip, and/or a destination, determining user preferences for advertisements from any one or more of audio signals within the vehicle and/or historical user data, selecting a number of the advertisements to present to the user during the trip, and providing the advertisements to the user during the trip through a human-machine interface (HMI) of the vehicle.”
“Submitting patent applications is a normal part of any strong business as the process protects new ideas and helps us build a robust portfolio of intellectual property.
“The ideas described within a patent application should not be viewed as an indication of our business or product plans. [Ford] will always put the customer first in the decision-making behind the development and marketing of new products and services.”
OMDB. It would have to be the last vehicle on earth. And it would take me 5 minutes to pull the fuse/wiring/PC board for this late-stage-capitalism nightmare feature.
That’s IF I can neither (a) keep my old school vehicles running, NOR (b) find a single old POS, nor (c) new vehicle sans these electronic nightmares.
This is the real reason they’re putting all the controls on the touchscreen—so one can’t just replace it with an aftermarket HU to get rid of this crap.
I would assume they would have a porn filter on the ads, in which case I would get no ads.
So what is next ? Taking away someone’s truck by driving it back to the dealership in the future, needlessly monitoring these cars… and NOW useless ADs? Next thing Farley will go a little further and try to introduce the option of “illegal” content…and at that point I will TAKE his ENTIRE stock to court.
Well, they were looking for additional revenue streams. Selling ads is one, apparently? I honestly have never once seen an ad on TV or the internet or heard one on the radio that caused me to change my behavior in a way that felt like a good spend on the company’s part. I don’t understand the math, but everyone does it, so I guess it must work.
Can’t recall a time an ad got me to buy, but plenty of them that have pissed me off to the point where that company is on my do-not-buy-from list. It’s a long list. And people ask me why I’m always building my own shit!
I’m of an age where I may have bought my last cars. I can say that at the price of new cars, it may be cost effective to buy a Dynacorn body and turn it into an actual car; w/o all the electronic crap.
I for one look forward to a day when my car can serve up online coupons and reviews for physical therapists, attorneys and (if things go very badly) funeral homes for my next-of-kin should I run my car into a tree or concrete abutment. Which is a lot more likely in this scenario.
It’s the Ford Futura – the future with an “A” for advertising!
This has been a vehicle telematics wet dream for at least 25 years. The difference here is added eavesdropping capability.
Driver: “*Yawns*”
Telematics: “Hey Driver, there are 26 Starbucks within 5 minutes at your current speed and direction. I’ve added a mandatory GPS waypoint to the nearest one. And here’s a 50¢ coupon for the purchase you’d better make if you ever want to use your seat heaters again. Have a blessed day and don’t forget to manifest abundance! P.S. If you keep driving with your hands at 5 and 7 o’clock, I swear I’ll take control and turn this car around, and I can do it!”
I’m sure you’ll be able to pay a monthly subscription for no adds… wait, that’s not better.
Already you have to for remote start…
Ford is simply trying to drive the prices of used cars back up again. Once this comes out, who in their right mind would want to buy a new car that’s basically an invasive rolling TV with ads?….oh…yeah…’Murica.
I would buy a K2XX truck instead…..
I blame the Ferengi for this.
Rules of Acquistion #2 and #10 definitely seem to be in play.
Of course, are any of the Rules ever really out of play?
Have family beta test the system because exploitation begins at home.
Ford’s idea, which I’m sure will be copied by every other auto manufacturer, definitely gives me pause. This is more than just an annoying distraction that nobody needs while they’re driving. Mining in-car conversation for ad data is a full-on invasion of privacy.
If ever there were a use case for NHSTA or federal government interference in commerce, this surely would be a prime example. Or perhaps the FMVSS. It’s already annoying that mfgrs want a subscription for things beyond satellite radio.
I’m pretty sure leagues of personal injury and product liability attorneys are already coming up with strategies on this one.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0z_Qqnq8pI8
No.
The hope for this, I’m sure, is that they roll it out as quietly as possible and hope people just one day sort of notice that their Exploder is showing them ads for Starbucks now. That’s how it’ll become the norm across the industry. Kind of like how Meta snuck in the algorithm crap and now all social media is borked forever.
If they do this, Ford execs will never be able to use a phone, computer, or smart TV again. And God help them if they live in smart houses. The revolution starts here!
The only answer is to force your Ford to show you Chevy ads.
Oh God that can’t be the answer. I’d careen right into a telephone pole.
Absolute bloody garbage. Can you imagine the Little America ads if you drive anywhere near Wyoming? Or the inundation of Gruber Law ads the moment you cross the Cheddar Curtain? Not to mention the strip clubs in Indiana…
Oof. Talk about distracted driving…
Not only Ford, but any company that would dare advertise on such a platform should also be boycotted. This is a friendly warning shot across the bow.
While I hate this entire model, I’m kinda digging the car on the header.
Its the 021C by Marc Newson for Ford back in 1999. Its a great peice of design including the rear trunk that is a giant drawer.
Insanity.
And thanks for reminding me that in addition to doing the procedure noted in the previous post about how to disallow data sharing for each brand, I also should look up whether I can disconnect the antenna that sends data in my vehicle without losing my radio. I’m pretty sure I can since I have an antenna on the fender and I’m told there’s a separate one in the roll cage for the OTAs and such.
I hope they get sued out the ass for this.
If they actually achieve their goal and are able to draw your attention then they will have increased distracted driving in order to monetize it.
Sounds like an easy to win lawsuit as far as lawsuits against major corporations are concerned.
You can’t really sue someone over a patent application.
Unless you patented it first. But yeah, nothing to sue over here. It’s stupid, but not LEGALLY stupid.
If they implement it it is….
If they implement it….
Now it’s 2024
Knock knock at your front door,
It’s the suede denim secret police
And the have ads for your TikTok niece!
Thank you for this. updated lyrics to Gen X bangers was one of my favourite parts of the old site.
It is my duty and honor to provide
I started singing this as the song from Three’s Company before realizing what it actually is. Never would have thought I’d get those two songs confused.
The worst part is that Generation Z, Alpha, Beta, Gamma children and adolescents will be watching these STUPID ADs in their cars and getting distracted…plus creating many accidents (the Mustang is basically a Generation Z car…and is marketed as such)…and I worry the day when Farley will introduce ILLEGAL content..which it should hopefully not come to.
Good thing here in Qatar…certain things are prohibited. So there is that.
:has loud conversation while driving about how much this Ford sucks and wishes I could see what offers are available from other makers:
Crazy idea. Maybe there efforts would be better spent not leading the industry in recalls.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. That sounds hard. Selling ads sounds easy. Given that the goal is short term profit, let’s do the easy thing.
Not gonna lie. I would put my fist through the screen if my car started showing me ads. I don’t care if I could never open the glove box again.
That’s the first thing I thought of too.
I was thinking more of the news headlines
…”was pulled over after repeatedly discharging a firearm into the dashboard of the car”…
LOL
I was thinking drive it into a ditch, throw a grenade inside, and do a slow-motion-walk-away-from-explosion-like-you-just-don’t-care Hollywood move.
Cool guys don’t look at explosions!
We are not far from a time in which no new car is buyable