“It’s a historical artifact!” I just told my wife, Elise (Not Her Real Name). (Yes, I recently got married, and over the next two days I’ll be telling you more about how the wedding went; it was epic). For now, it’s time I enlist your help, because for some reason Elise seems entirely unconvinced that this BMW i3 display model’s historical significance is reason enough for us to buy it and store it in our small garage. How my argument didn’t work is beyond me, so we’re going to have to come up with some other clever way to convince her.
It’s been about a week since I got married, and things are great. She’s the greatest woman I’ve ever met, and I don’t even like driving to work anymore because that means I can’t hang out with her. But as great as things are, it’s become clear that married life is going to be very, very different than DT-single-life. Namely, I now have to get buy-in when I buy things.
Elise has actually been quite supportive of every car purchase I’ve ever made. In fact, she didn’t even have an issue with the entirely superfluous BMW i3 I nearly bought a few weeks ago right before our wedding — or that diesel F-250 that same week. Elise knows I’m passionate about cars, and she loves to see that passion blossom.
But this right here is going to be a tough sell.
For auction right now on Bring a Trailer are two full-scale display models — one of the i8 (which I’m not interested in, as cool as it is), and one of my beloved BMW i3, the Carbon Fiber Wonder from Leipzig. Apparently BMW sent full-size models of these two cars to dealerships around the world to get buzz going before the vehicles debuted. Here’s a blurb from Bring a Trailer:
These full-scale display models of BMW i3 and i8 vehicles are said to have been produced by BMW for promotional use in the company’s dealerships. The fiberglass bodies are finished in Ionic Silver Metallic with black and Frozen Blue accents, and they are mounted on metal frames with inboard swivel caster wheels. The i8 model has LED lighting, and both models feature black-finished simulated glass, side mirrors, a faux shark fin antenna, and alloy wheels. The models do not have an interior or running gear. These BMW display models were acquired by the seller in 2022 and are now offered at no reserve in California with a bill of sale.
OK, so here’s what I got so far on why we should buy the BMW i3 display car:
- This is a historical items for sale right as the BMW i3 is having its moment in the sun. I believe the i3 will become a collector’s item in the future, meaning this display car will make us rich! Maybe. Possibly. Probably not.
- We can sell the i8 display car to recoup whatever we spend on these display cars. Current bid is at $1000. That’s a bargain!
- The car is for sale in California — that’s local!
- The car has caster wheels for easy(ish) repositioning.
- The i3 display car is made of fiberglass, so it won’t rust and it’s lightweight and thus easy to move (ish)
- There are real, actual wheels and tires on the car. And given how much i3 tires cost, we could actually save money buying this
- There’s no battery or compressor (no “Black Death!“) or any powertrain at all that could fail. This will be my most reliable car ever, by far.
- It’s pretty much a hollow shell, so we could store things inside it
- The lighting on the i3 doesn’t work, but I think it can be made to work, which would be awesome
- This could be used as a decoy for when someone inevitably tries to steal my “Holy Grail” i3. I’m not entirely sure how that would work, but come on — this thing screams decoy.
[Editor’s Note: I wonder if David should mention that he has had many and currently has a few cars that are equally immobile and non-running as these two display models, and these have the advantage of not leaking fluids everywhere. Maybe that would just be opening a can of worms? – JT]
You know, those 10 make for a pretty dang convincing argument. And you know…I don’t even think this needs to take up a garage space. I think this should be the centerpiece of our living room; think of all the attention it would get from visitors. Fancy paintings, nice sculptures, beautifully-framed photographs, gorgeous art-deco furniture — none of that has anything on a full-size engineering masterpiece sitting in the middle of a living room. Heck, I wonder if I could reconfigure some of the metal structure underneath to create a small office in there…
Anyway, I think I’m pretty close. Between those 10 extremely compelling reasons for us to buy the i3 display car and whatever couple of reasons you can help me out with in the comments, I think I’ll be towing a fake i3 to our abode in no-time!
See, marriage — it’s not so hard!
All Images: Bring a Trailer
1. Buy replica BMW i3.
2. Saw in half horizontally.
3. Insert multiple coolers in lower section and secure them with expanding foam.
4. Fill with ice and shrimp.
You are now ready for the next major Autopian event. And you can write the whole thing off as a business expense!
Unless we want a how I ended up living in a fiberglass I3 for a month after being married 3 weeks this is a bad idea. Not that I think DT living in a fake fiberglass I3 is a bad idea for a column.
Ice? There’s no need for ice. What’s life without risk?
What’s life without risk?
Pretty sure that’s what Torch said right before he buzzed into the Changli’s battery with a chainsaw.
you can try what got me my first motorcycle (tho i’d been married for much longer than just a coupla weeks…): “sweetie, i think i’m having a mid-life crisis – i’m going to get either a motorcycle or a mistress and i’d like to involve you in the decision”.
She didn’t say fine honey it’s up to you. BTW I’m going to get a side piece of a divorce what do you think?
EY YI YI !!
I hope you are kidding. I always test the waters with my wife on things like this. I know what the answer would be. Same as “Elise’s”.
That’s good.
Save up for something that actually moves. That is what you do best.
This is an okay car. It is not a pivotal piece of history.
Having a real one with a drivetrain on blocks in the garage would make more sense. Still not enough to do it.
And, most importantly. Congratulations to you both.
Merry Christmas, too!
“I think this should be the centerpiece of our living room”
Yeah, just move to Las Vegas and channel Dan Tanna, the P.I. who parked his bright red ’57 Ford Thunderbird in the living room of his pad in an old props warehouse in the 1978-’81 TV show Vega$
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnNQKIAESnl6XiN7_81NijUq2szbpQHCd5K3s7gbWAYcGGFTKfOXFQAzKyPW5CxT4KRT5HCP5ybX7PS-iSVHcKQW10vvhtadqfydtx5P1C14Z6jVav9iMx1nJKP2heJyRAZ_9h3Up8oormavYArsbJIpLAsQqm2nclDDx__A1mTTlu6Zyzvl9-tga0fYfW/s1439/Vega$6591edjk.png (just visible in the background)
More pictures from the series in this post:
http://verybradyblog.blogspot.com/2023/01/dan-tannas-1978-las-vegas-pad.html?m=1
That was literally the only cool thing there has ever been in Las Vegas.
If anyone ever wondered why you’re not supposed to congratulate the bride, this is why.
I disagree. I think there is a reason the bride buys a gown and the groom rents a tuxedo.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me;
Two turtle shell duds….something seems…off.
Congratulations on the wedding but I don’t think you should suggest a major purchase like this until you know her real name.
I think you wrote this article just so you could put “my wife” in a headline.
You already know you don’t have enough garage space for all you capable-of-running-with-enough-work-and-time-you-don’t-have cars. You don’t need one that will never be capable of running.
“Help Me Convince My Wife That Spending Thousands On A Full-Size BMW i3 Display Car That Doesn’t Drive Is A Good Idea”
No. I won’t do that.
David, you know I love you, so I’m going to say this in the nicest way I possibly can.
This desire to buy a full size car-like substance, it’s what some people call an ID10T failure within your brain. To squander your precious little storage on THAT, when you’re supposed to be SELLING vehicles, is completely insane.
Amen
From experience, this is one of the purchases where 100% of the enjoyment resides in the buying of it and subsequently telling everyone that you bought it. It’s a 48 hour window of happiness, at most. Then it becomes something you bang your foot into once a week and eventually start piling stuff on top of.
it’s a wonderful idea, you just need to repurpose it so that she (her real pronoun) can use it. Can you convert the i3 into a wine cellar? Freezer? Sauna? dresser? Oh crap, I’ve got it. Mount it to a trailer and make it a camper!
I was going to say this is a transparently stupid idea and when you have a wife who is otherwise supportive, when she’s not you’ve got to listen.
But now you’ve got me thinking that you could make a conversation-starting outdoor cold storage setup with this. Refrigerate the middle so you can put beer in the passenger side and non-alcoholic drinks in the driver’s side. Have the back non-refrigerates so you can put other snacks in the hatch. Turn the front into a chest freezer.
Ain’t no party like an iFridge party!
See? Exactly. it could be great. And it could make a great camper. If the rear wheels move, you wouldn’t need a trailer, just add a tongue to the front
No. Go buy a 2009 Nissan Altima for the same amount. Elise (Not Her Real Name) would probably appreciate that more, since you’re buying a vehicle with the legendary Jatco Xtronic CVT.
She can get an annulment now based on this if she wants
You keep referring to these as cars. They are not cars, they are display models.
Now that that’s out of the way, congratulations on the nuptials, and remember, ask for forgiveness not permission when it comes to stuff like this. Wives are wonderful, but men and women have very different opinions and priorities. If you feel the need, make it happen, and deal with the results after. She’ll get you back at some point.
Looked at the picture underneath it: Rust. I can’t lol
Next, in the Autopian: “If we get 300 new members by the end of the month, David will spend a week living in a fiberglass model of an i8.”
It is crazy, even my BMWphile brother would think that is crazy.
What’s next? A threesome with a store manikin?
Give your head a shake.
Do it, and you’ll have to spend thousands on a full-size display Wife that doesn’t Wife.
And you’ll have to convince your i3 that it was a good idea.
How many garage spaces does WestsideLexusWife have at her house?
Unless she lives north of Montana – She barely has one.
And that’s used as a storage locker/pool cabana/yoga studio.
So the question is – Where are you going to put a 1:1 model of a car you already own two of?
and tire storage
Who stores spare tires in Westside LA?
Hardly anyone.
More likely up in The Valley: The Land of Two-Car Garages.
David got some extra i3 tires not too long ago. He may have them up at Galpin, though.
Use it as the body shell for a dragster.
Or a twin bed.
Weirdly, it still probably leaks coolant. Can’t explain it, much like a tide going in and out. You put the Rondel badge on anything with 2+ wheels, it’s leaking coolant. An immaculate coolant leak. Where does the coolant come from? Well that’s for the Holy See in Munich.
Somebody call the Guinness people. I believe we have a new world record for shortest interval between a wedding day and the initiation of a spouse’s grounds for divorce list.
On the positive side, you could use this and your other i3s to play three car monte at parties.
I saw the lede and immediately thought “That’s divorce bait if ever I saw it” and yet poor DT is still going after it.
Oh well, best to capitalize on it during the honeymoon phase when his wife will be most forgiving, because in a few years the odds are good that her forgiveness threshold will be high and her car-related nonsense tolerance threshold will be low.
If an already very supportive person says “no”, you’d better listen. Or else…
Exactly!
I’ve always dearly valued my garage stalls, and I have quite a few of them. I can’t imagine knowingly taking up one of those precious stalls with a vehicle that’s designed with being static as its purpose.
Tell me about it. Garage space is the most precious comodity in my home. And it’s ment to fix my cars, not display big models.
During the ceremony did you receive a blow to the head?
You’re going to waste actual car sized storage on a not-a-car?