Here Are The Cars That Car Designers Drove To Impress Other Car Designers At A Fancy Car Design Event

Finally, after literally years of toil at the face of the coal mine for you, dear readers, the hustle is paying off. After countless instances of dropping names like Hardigree, Torchinsky, and Tracy resulted in hung-up phones, unanswered emails, and doors being shut in my face the automotive media yahoo gravy train has at last rolled into Adrian town.

I’m in Munich at the Car Design Event, being held at the super fancy Ameron Hotel, which is part of Motor World (the same one David recently gushed about). And let me tell you, it’s quite the place. I was picked up from the airport in a Bentley Bentayga, and my hotel room is a special suite with motorbike parking. Although I have a motorbike license I don’t currently own one, but there is both an Indian and a Triumph dealer here and I’ve plenty of credit so god knows what might happen if I indulge in too much complimentary beer later. Anyway, the important thing is I am now being looked after in a manner to which I could become extremely accustomed to, although lest you think I’ve gotten soft and coddled I did manage to (temporarily, the head fell off) break the shower this morning. Probably best to keep such rock and roll antics to ourselves for now.

Before I show you some of the wheeled delights I’ve seen, I should try and explain what Motor World is. Situated in a draughty, shabby corner of Munich (basically Europe’s equivalent of Detroit such is the concentration of the automotive industry here) it’s a huge flat building containing high-end car dealers, classic car specialists, classic car storage, and various enthusiast boutiques. If you want a beer while thinking about buying a McLaren in between perusing automotive-themed memorabilia and gawping at some really rare and interesting cars, Motor World has you covered. I suppose the marketing description would be an automotive destination and experience, but really it’s just a place for people like us to look at some really cool shit.

What you have to understand, and hopefully you’ve gathered from my writing, is that car designers are mostly to a man, complete and utter wankers. I mean fully paid up bell-ends. The most unbearable tosspots to ever walk the earth. It comes with the territory. We can’t help it. So when you gather a load of car designers in one place you might expect a smug explosion of douchbaggery, wrist watch one-upmanship (yes I did wear my Moon Swatch), and an extremely considered car park, as they all try to out-do one another. Let’s have a look.

The Parking Lot is Insane

Alfa Romeo SZ. Correct color (i.e. not fucking yellow) but I can live without the stripes and the wrong wheels. Let’s see what else my peers have turned up in.

Well hello there beautiful. Fiat Barchetta in absolutely minty condition. Possibly the best steel wheels ever made. Car designers driving Italian cars is a total cliche, so if you don’t drive a Ferrari Mondial QV how do you stand out in the crowd?

That’s how. A DeTomaso Longchamp, or as Hardigree called it: an evil Ford Granada. Whenever a bunch of turtleneck-wearing, car-drawing toffs turn up in one place another thing you can guarantee is there will be a bloody 911 somewhere. Look, I don’t make the rules.

I’m not sure what restomod of the week this is, I’m sure one of the 911 bores will tell me. Enough of car designers’ dubious choices, what else have we got?

Ok, I’ve had currywurst and a beer for lunch and I’m still not sure I understand what’s going on here. Maybe this is the famed German sense of humor. I presume this wasn’t driven here by a car designer.

Mercedes-Benz definitely had been on the laughing gas when they came up with this, the X-Class. Or to you and me, a Nissan Navarra in an expensive dress. Not trucky enough for you?

This is parked the approach road to the hotel, just to let you know what you’re in for. Alright, it’s bloody cold out here let’s see what’s inside.

The Cars Inside

Motor World is the perfect backdrop for this event because it already has quite a collection of cars on display. I think this VW is what Torch uses to dress himself in the morning. On those occasions when he actually puts clothes on.

Because I haven’t really written a piece unless I give David a heart attack, here’s the best Wrangler.

Despite my fancy leanings, I’m not a huge Rolls Royce person. I have started to warm to these though. This one belonged to Muhammad Ali.

Another, rather large engined Rolls Royce. This looks dangerous. Maybe one for Miss Mercedes? She likes German stuff with ridiculous engines that is simultaneously both over and under-engineered. As you’ve gathered I’m trying to accommodate all my Autopian family here. This one is for Thomas:

Great, I think that’s something for everyone. I think I will reward myself for knocking out this quick update with a beer, as I am in the land of free beer after all. You know what’s funny though, Germany is also the other birthplace of fast European Fords, and I’ve not seen any of those.

I can’t think of anyone I know who likes those.

[Ed note: Find a Cossie or don’t come back – MH]