It’s easy to blame internet car auction sites for inflating the values of all the cars we know and love. After all, by opening up a finite pool of cars to a much larger audience, supply and demand suggests that prices will rise. However, a rising tide doesn’t lift every ship, and thanks to remnants of the insane COVID market, there are surprisingly cheap cars to be had on internet auction sites. Let’s check out some budget enthusiast cars we’ve seen recently, just for kicks.
Welcome back to Gavel Gazing, a series in which we take a deeper look into the stuff we see on internet car auction sites, and highlight anything notable. Last time, we noticed some early signs that the wild enthusiast car market could be softening, with many cars failing to meet reserve. It seems that for the most part, COVID prices are gone, and now sellers need to catch up with the new reality.
1979 Ford Pinto: $7,179
I bet you didn’t expect Pintos to become collectable. This slab of malaise era austerity may have risen to fame thanks to fuel system intrusion in rear end collisions, but don’t let the banter get you down. This classic’s in surprisingly nice shape, features a four-speed manual transmission, and shows just 63,000 miles on its five-digit odometer. Is it possible this thing’s rolled around? Perhaps, although given how unrepentantly terrible cars of the 1970s were, I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re looking at a low mileage car.
Sure, we’re not looking at a concours condition car here, with damage to the rear bumper, various dents, surface corrosion underneath, some light corrosion peeking out from behind the chrome sill panel trims, and a missing storage compartment in the console, but this is a Pinto. Don’t expect perfection, but do expect a whole lot of love.
This Pinto even comes with a Marti Report, a surprising piece of enthusiast documentation more commonly sought for Broncos, Mustangs, and the like. Johnnie Harper Motors in Wheatridge, Colo. in April of 1979, and actually sold at the end of that month. The spec is thoroughly unremarkable, but that’s part of the appeal. There’s joy in bygone mundanity, and these were disposable cheap cars, so few survived. I can’t even tell you the last time I saw a 1979 to 1980 model with the rectangular headlights, so this is one anomalous survivor worth keeping around. Besides, this thing’s the sixth-cheapest Pinto ever sold on Bring A Trailer (that felt wrong to type), so I’d consider it well-bought.
2001 Audi S4: $8,500
Look, I wouldn’t recommend a B5 Audi S4 to anyone, especially considering the litany of reliable cheap cars out there, but I can’t deny that these cars are a hoot. With a punchy 2.7-liter twin-turbocharged V6 engine that has massive tuning potential, all-wheel-drive, a six-speed manual gearbox, and a footprint smaller than that of a new Toyota Corolla sedan, this city-sized rocketship is a massively overlooked European performance car.
This particular example is a fairly standard silver-on-black spec, but it boasts just 82,961 miles on the clock and a host of recent maintenance jobs. The major timing belt service was completed in 2020, the rear main seal and oil cooler were done this year, and it got new dampers, new upper control arms, and new tires all within the past few years.
Mind you, this B5 S4 has some stories. It’s a theft recovery from 2002, has lived in New Jersey, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Utah, and reportedly has signs of oil in its cooling system. However, all B5 S4s are somewhat problematic, and this is a clean, low-mileage chassis that someone could have a ton of fun with. For $8,500, it seems worth the dice roll, and is still among the cheaper S4s ever sold on Bring A Trailer.
2001 Volkswagen EuroVan MV: $4,444
These days, it seems like Volkswagen camper vans are for trustafarians and wealthy collectors. However, not every Volkswagen van commands blue chip pricing, and someone absolutely stole this EuroVan MV on Bring A Trailer for the incredibly low price of $4,444. You can barely buy a decent Camry made in this century for that sort of money, let alone a freaking Volkswagen van with a table. As far as cheap cars go, this one’s pretty ace.
Granted, the EuroVan MV isn’t the whole nine yards of campervan. There’s no pop-up roof here, no upper-deck bed, no sink, and no stove. To that I say, no problem. It’s still incredibly spacious, has one folding bed, and is perfect for camping out at music festivals. Build quality is far above what you get in most American conversion vans, so if you can live with the brain matter grey interior, a EuroVan MV will satisfy your big weekend out needs.
However, this is still a cheap, used European vehicle. For a price this low, expect a few minor problems. This EuroVan isn’t mechanically perfect, with a P1624 code store on the onboard diagnostic system that warrants further investigation with VCDS or another Volkswagen-specific scan tool. However, this van still runs and drives, and so long as you aren’t in a state that does emissions testing, you should be able to drive this van for at least a bit. There’s also the more minor problem of the shift knob being haggard, but that should be trivial.
An, Um, “Ferrari Enzo”
I’ll give you a second to pick yourself up off the floor. Not only is this 1986 Pontiac Fiero the world’s least convincing Ferrari Enzo replica, this abhorrent crumbling pile of fiberglass is actually famous. This thing has been floating around the internet since eBaum’s World was popular, the YouTubers at The Car Bros snuck this thing into The Quail, arguably the most prestigious event at Monterey Car Week, which is already the most prestigious automotive event in America. As soon as I saw this had happened, I cackled. It’s glorious, glorious trolling in the best possible way.
The list of flaws is as long as it is obvious. The listing on Cars & Bids claims a “Panel gap fitment issue on exterior,” which should be obvious to anyone with at least one semi-functional eye. However, things get more comedic from there. Apparently, the “taillights do not illuminate when the headlights are on” and various wires are exposed, so who knows what wiring shitshow lives beneath that coat of red paint?
The Fierri still has five days to go on its auction, but it’s hammered on Cars & Bids before for a reasonable $5,001, and I doubt that this thing has appreciated much over the past three years. At minimum, it’s a fabulous conversation piece, a rolling example of cringe comedy. As a bonus, many Pontiac Fiero parts are still fairly easy to get, so this thing shouldn’t be a nightmare to keep going.
It’s All Relative
Of course, cheap cars aren’t the only bargains to be had. It’s also worth considering the litany of cars that hammer on internet auction sites for competitive prices. For instance, this manual 996 Porsche 911 cabriolet recently hammered for $18,246 on Bring A Trailer, a good deal compared to what I’m seeing on major used car classified sites. Sure, the seller claimed that a clutch replacement was due in the near future, but with good 996 cabriolets going for noticeably north of $20,000, there’s some wiggle room here to do a clutch and enjoy a fantastic car.
Over on Cars & Bids, this 2018 Jaguar XF Sportbrake S sold for $35,500, which is near the bottom of the pricing spectrum for XF Sportbrakes listed on used car classified ad websites. Sure, the market for longroof Jaguars is small, but considering how the enthusiasts seeking these cars are willing to look high and low, this black-on-black example is well-bought.
The bottom line? Even if you don’t live in a mansion or have a ton of money to blow on a top-grade collector car, don’t write off the online auctions. Depending on what you’re shopping for, there may still be cheap cars out there. Just remember, don’t buy cars to speculate, buy them because you enjoy them. Hobbies don’t have to make money, and there’s so much joy to be had in losing the hustle mentality.
(Photo credits: Bring A Trailer, Cars & Bids)
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I saw a blue Pinto station wagon on the highway here last summer. At first thought I said Wow that’s something you don’t see everyday. Second thought was why would anyone drive in an exploding car on the freeway that is chocking with SUV’s the size of small battleships? Suicide by Pinto was the answer I came up with.
Getting a Marti report on your Pinto is like getting your dog DNA-tested.
I got one for my Mustang II, but it was in the Petersen and it turns out 4 of its 6 options are dealer installed. https://barnfinds.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/1974-Ford-Mustang-II-Photo-2.jpg
We’re not going to mention the Boxsters that you can find for under $7k?
I’ve been following EuroVan MV auctions on Cars & Bids, mostly keeping an eye on the market until I can get the funds to buy one in a year or two. That white one is the most boring one I’ve seen yet, but damn I wish I got that deal.
I think the price is wildly optimistic but the Pinto’s description achieved a new high. I’m adding “fuel system intrusion” to my list of sublime euphemisms, to be deployed whenever possible.
This is a non-online auction, but everyone is a fool for not buying this: https://www.mecum.com/lots/1098673/1971-volkswagen-411-sedan/
It’s my car! Except good!!! (Although I have to correct the listing here—the automatic was not a rare option on my car.)
IIRC, it only went for $8Kish, per a friend who sold his Caddy there? That’s not terrible for an UNRUNED KLASSIK that’s so rare that even aircooled VW people sometimes don’t know what it is. Part of me sometimes kind of wants a nice 411, and YOU COULD HAVE HAD IT! (Then I remember that I really want a nice aircooled 911, and spiral into despair knowing that my life only ever seems to get worse, everything I do is a pointless exercise that only serves to circle the drain, and I’ll probably never get a 911. Nothing matters. Eat Arby’s.)
Anyway, as someone who won a Lemons Rally in my 411, you, too, could seek TOTAL LEMONS RALLY DOMINATION if you bought that Fierri. The Lemons Rally folks (…self included) have a bizarre fetish for kit cars. That’s a good one.
I do think the car market is coming back down to reality, as much as the phrase “car market” makes me want to pound my brain into the toilet until I’m no longer capable of understanding words. Yet again, me being unemployed with no end in sight seems to coincide with this exact phenomenon. I need a 911, dammit. Anyway, this bodes well for other people who will be able to score good parsh, I guess.
Too bad there hasn’t been a cure for BaT-induced brainworms that’s trickled down to That Guy yet. We’ve all encountered That Guy on Craigslist, Marketplace, Kleinanzeigen, Kijiji, your mom’s town’s IRC channel, *spicy newspaper classifieds* or whatever. You know the one. We were just talking about a 993 project today where my immediate reaction to its owner’s likely asking price was “yeah, drop the 1 in front and you have a WAY highball figure for what it’s worth.”
“ *spicy newspaper classifieds*”
I applaud your tenacity.
No mention of AC in the Pinto. The dealbreaker for me is that 1979 requires a smogcheck in CA.
THAT’S your dealbreaker?
Dealbreaker was Pinto for me, much less the insane price.
I could do a Pinto if I had to. My family had a few, friends had them so I’ve got some good memories featuring Pintos. Some not so good ones too.
THAT Pinto though, ugh. The square headlights don’t do it for me. Those faux wirewheel hubcaps, double ugh! Nor does that insane price. Bleah!!
For that kind of money there are far better options.
I got what I considered to be a pretty much ‘deal of the decade’ last weekend from my daughters soccer coach… 2006 Toyota tundra, four-door 6 foot box with maintenance records, clean oil, a cracked leaf spring, broken headlight, and fog light, very dirty interior, but clean frame, clean body, working full roll down back window for $2500 … 213k with a timing, belt and water pump at 200k. Wish I could post pictures!
Nicely bought!
A baby poop Pinto and the world’s worst Fauxrrari? I thought we already did Shitbox Showdown today.
Didn’t realize the ’79 Pinto was available in ” Caucasian .”
Fun fact:
There’s some interesting etymology behind that particular paint color.
Ford called it “Light Chamois”.
A chamois is an an agile goat-antelope with short hooked horns, found in mountainous areas of Europe from Spain to the Caucasus.
Yup, the paint name originates from ruminants that roam Caucasia.
(cue “the more you know” rainbow)
Jesus a baby shit colored Pinto for $7,200? I guess my Pinto that Alice Cooper once farted in is worth an easy 10K for sure.
What’s the documentation on that fart?
A photo the guilty party pointing to a hole melted in the seat cushion.
I mean, that kinda rules.
The Fierri looks like an Enzo rendered in Lego.
An Enzo Rendered in Lego laughably badly.
Whoever created that kit Had to be laughing their ass off levels of trolling. A thing of beauty to be enjoyed
If you hooked an OBD1 scanner to the ruined Fiero, it would probably be begging you to kill it
I tried, but I just couldn’t muster up anywhere enough irony to see myself in that Pinto. I thought maybe that awful colour and the wire wheel covers might have got me there, but nope. Nope.
Buy at a good price on auction sites? Are these opening prices r sold prices?
There are no opening prices on either of these sites. They always start at 0, and the article said all but the “Enzo” sold for these prices. I’m glad to see things dropping. I’m very interested in getting a 996 Cabrio in the next year and seeing them trending downward is encouraging!
Having sold one a year ago for $24,500 I guess I would say that was a relative bargain with one big if. That being the intermediate trans. bearing. I don’t remember the proper acronym right now. It is at least a $3000 dollar fix if you have your own installation tools. If not, add another $1000 to that. If this repair hasn’t been done, I wouldn’t touch it with a 3 meter stick!
Yes, the IMS is an immediate deal breaker if not done for sure. Well unless crazy cheap so I can get it done.
For anyone else wondering if there are links, there are! They’re just not the standard hyper-link blue. The sub-headers for each vehicle take you to their respective auction pages.
WRONG!!!!! Your first example is a poor car (pinto) in less than immaculate condition asking twice the price it was snickered at? It autocorrected to snickered and I thought no that is right. No collection value except odd and twice the price new? Not an example of cheap cars available. I assume Thomas has a medical Marijuana prescription card?
Even a card wouldn’t get me high enough to consider such a Shitbox.
Agreed
No card needed, it’s legal across Canada.
Although, given the number of mundane used cars that are worth more than their original sticker price (even at wholesale value), this is normal.
Ah I wished for a B5 for a while, until I actually looked into what it might require in maintenance. Nope. Although every now and then I remember there are S4 Avants from the 00’s rolling around and get the itch. Nope, the V8 is not any better.
I walked by a beautiful B5 A4 Avant a couple days ago and just admired how well the design has aged. I then noticed the fresh puddle of oil underneath it and remembered how poorly the rest of the car tends to age. I made sure to leave the area before the owner got back, lest I be even more disappointed when the blue smoke starts pouring out of the exhaust on startup.
That Fauxrrari causes me to both giggle & throw up in my mouth a bit each time I see it. But the Dagmar taillight lenses almost make it worth it
yeah that thing would make Stevie Wonder flinch.
Over $7k for a Pinto. Yow. Find a set of Firestone 500s to go with it and have the original Suicide Machine.
Go for the Hat Trick: fit an early Takata airbag steering wheel as well
Trifecta!
Pretty sure that Pinto is the exact shade of Wrong Beige JT wrote about not long ago. That Pinto looks like it’s wearing the skin of 1000 mannequins.
Almost looks like the old Flesh Tone Crayon
And “flesh” colored bandaids. And prosthetic limbs. And an unidentified sticky object in a waiting room which has hair on it and nobody wants to touch.
That unidentified object, with hair on it, is my emotional support chamois.
He’s sticky because I forgot to get napkins when I stopped for lunch, before my appointment.
(a drive through bbq restaurant was not the best choice)
(why did i get the pork ribs)
(where is my emotional support chamois)
What am I doing in this waiting room? Where am I?
that’s why you wait until you get home to eat the ribs
because
THAT’S
HOW
YOU
GET
ANTS!
Oh? Those little eusocial insects of the family Formicidae?
They’re ok…
Much nicer than their vespoid wasp ancestors, am I right?!
*whispers*
“You know what I’m talking about.”
It puts the lotion on its skin else it gets the hose again!
Hurray! Butter me up with that lotion.
Or turn on the hose already.
Is it a lotion hose?
Sounds delicious, but I’m watching my weight.
Uhg! The one time it is a lotion hose and I already ate…
It’s light. It’s fleshy. It’s FLESHLIGHT!
Eeew…with wire wheels
–not that there’s anything wrong with that if that’s what you’re into
Am I on The Autopian or 4Chan?
Gross!
my brain is probably just the margin notes for “Ow, My Balls”
Idiocracy FTW!
As a huge fan of VW, it pains me to say this: Beware the EuroVan. Remember those four Passats I’ve owned and how three of them had automatic transmissions seemingly made out of glass? Yeah, the EuroVan’s automatic might as well have been made out of wet noodles. I find even fewer numbers of EuroVans with working autos than I do Passats.
If you buy that EuroVan and plan to drive it a lot, be sure to save some money for repairs or a manual swap. VW did sell EuroVans with manuals in America, but those were usually (always?) base models without the cool central lounge.
That EuroVan is begging for both a manual and that 500 hp VR6 crate motor y’all wrote about a while back.
OH YES. I would drive that in a heartbeat.
I see what ya did! Lured me in with clearly the fun and very flashy car, only to be preceded by your typical pay-here buy-here dealer selection. Nice try!
But in all reality, I do like the pinto. It works out that I like malaise era vehicles and that they can be found reasonably priced.
I know folks who were around when malaise era cars were new aren’t fond of them (and that’s fine with me)
Affordable classics of all eras are great for people who love old cars (like me) but don’t want to pay barret-Jackson prices (also like me)
I’d love to have a reasonably clean Pinto as they can be made to handle fairly well. But this is a time capsule and I wouldn’t want to mess with it. I also well remember the wire wheel covers of the day. Do not want those at all.
New pint-sized were $3,995 before laughing at the dealer and getting at least $500 off.
I think that perhaps some dog dish hub caps and a 8 track player are in order, though if you want to keep the basic aspect maybe the radio it has (if it does) should stay.
I’m thinking that Realistic cassette player you added onto your basic AM/FM factory radio.
If your in the market for an affordable classic, I am currently selling a very nice 1932 Chevy Confederate for $24K with $20000 reserve on BoT.
Guarantee that B5 won’t make it to 100k without a major service. Those cars are what made people think Audi’s are reliable, even 20 years later. Great driving cars, but absolutely the best example of 10lbs of shit in a 5lb bag that I can think of.
Protip: UrS4/S6 values still haven’t exploded, superior drivetrain, WRC heritage because 20v I5 Turbo. I only wish B5s on people I hate.