With David stuck on the Earth’s perineum down in Australia, desperately picking over the corpses of his two Chrysler Valiant Utes, I figured I should give him a bit of wrenching inspiration here. Or maybe it’s just taunting? I’m really not sure. This one is actually the Dodge-badged sibling with its rectangular headlights, but I think David will get the hint.
I’m pretty sure David can rock that hat, if that helps. And maybe the sheep.
Let’s again take a moment to appreciate those lovely parallel-line turn indicators integrated into the body; such a great detail. I hope David spends lots of time bringing those back to their former glory. That should be job one.
Let’s take a look at David’s utes and their current condition, for reference:
Oh crap.
Sheep…
Were there some kind of maximum distance between lights law in Australia at that time, since the headlights are placed that strange way?
Or was it, in true AMC/Jeep style, just where the holes were in the front panel behind the grille?
If DT exports one of these, he’ll be in direct competition with the mining folks in Pilbara.
Oi! I’ve a bucket hat just like that!!
And my perineum is suddenly a bit itchy…
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The image of David strikes me as a ‘proof of life’ ransom image. I wonder how he’s coping with today’s miserable weather?
With the weeds, David needs a few goats….
Just a thought
Europeans question us about calling football football even though you don’t use your feet. But how about them calling soccer football when they measure in meters?
Honestly, we’d give you more shit about Aussie Rules “football” if the players weren’t all terrifying hybrids of rugby players and rabid kangaroos.
And those utes might be a serious infection of said perineum…
A little sanding and a paint job….
Whatever you do don’t look up rock the sheep on urban dictionary.
I always knew that the Chrysler Valiant ute existed, but a Dodge badged version did too?
Really?!
Yep, badge swapping existed back then. Exact same vehicles, all built by Chrysler Australia. The Dodge branded Utes and vans where lower optioned, known as “poverty pack” here in Oz. Still driving my 71 VG Dodge Ute daily.
I find it funny how they used dodge in Australia to sell both the basic fleet spec of the valiant ute, and the American-fullsize Dodge Phoenix, basically a luxury car.
Worst comes to worst:
1) overinsure both cars
2) move move both cars into a gum grove and wait for the inevitable massive wildfire.
3) file claim
4) buy better Ute and ship it back to states.
The hat, and if we could also get some of that “collar up” action. (Collar demeanor is essential indicator of the situation.)
There’s definitely a bit of “oh shit” in that expression on David’s face.
It’s like a forbidden fruit version of the Dodge Rampage.
Which reminds me of how the U.S. Ford Escort (which I still liked, but…) was nothing like the British Ford Escort.
“Let’s look at David and his Utes!”
….
:Curb Your Enthusiasm Theme starts playing:
1.) Get the hat.
2.) Rock the hat.
3.) Shrimp on the barbie.
4.) Profit???
5.) GTF home.
A goal for David – A car on every continent of the planet. 🙂
He’s halfway to the feasible ones already… Shouldn’t be too difficult for him, right? haha
Maybe can buy the lunar rover to go exo-planet. 🙂
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Step 1, weedwack.
Step 2, remove all spiders and any other death machines.
Step 3, investigate why the hood support is up, but the hood is not.
Step 4, lunch.
In Australia they call weedwhackers Whipper-Snippers, which is way better term.
Yes but the spiders down under are definitely “death machines”.
Even Australian rabbits are murderers.
Most Americans don’t know this, but Australians who survive into adulthood are charged a special tax levy to fund the orphanages for the children of spider, shark and drop-bear victims.
Lunch for what? Better get steps one and two right if you want step four to be “for you” instead of “of you”.
Step three is a good call though, what is going on there?
That’s a VG-model, the model after Dave’s VFs. The square lights aren’t exclusive to Dodge-badged versions but were on all VGs except the VIP sedan.
Fun fact about the Dodge-branded utes, they had silver-painted bumpers and trim instead of chrome/stainless.
Seems pointless when every other vehicle in the range had chrome, surely that was more expensive to have a small percentage of bumpers and trim have to go through the paint booth instead of the usual process?
holden did the same paint-the-trim trick with the HQ tin-grilles, though they used white paint for whatever reason, which stands out way more.
“Earth’s perineum.” Jason, you never disappoint.
Also, did they extract that hat from a map pocket or something and stick it on the first rando they caught wandering through the meadow?
I think he forgets he has readers from said ‘perineum’… ????♂️
The best things about Australians.
They like beer.
They are both fatalistic and optimistic.
They can take a good joke.
Thanks Jason for broadening my vocabulary. I just googled perineum at the office.
I’m afraid I did, too. Who says this site is not educational?
D.T., please don’t try to “rock the sheep”.
“David Tracy here, and I just found the HOLY GRAIL of sheep! Let’s check it out!”
Do Aussies dream of rusty sheep?
I think you might be confusing us with our Kiwi (New Zealand) cousins…. Then again, Rugby is an official religion there, so they can’t be all bad!
Some car maker needs to brand it’s BEV as the Sheep. So most of our phones can dream about it.