October has been a month of milestones for me. I celebrated my second anniversary with my wife, it’s 10 years since I started my “new” life, and now I’ve finally embarked on my first-ever trip outside of the United States — to France. I was there for a short press event, so I didn’t even get the full France experience. Yet, I’m still just shocked at everything I’ve seen, smelled, eaten, and slept in. One of the more surprising experiences was just getting here, as I flew in the top class of a Boeing 787, a far departure from my usual discount seat in the back of the plane. However, is it worth $10,000?
Sadly, my time in Nice, France wound down. I was basically in France for all of 48 hours, and due to the constraints of the press event, I didn’t even get to see Monaco or step foot on a beach. But I’m not actually complaining here, because those 48 hours have been some of the coolest I’ve spent on this planet. I’m thankful to be here, and it makes me even happier that I made the choice to leave the IT world and get into writing about cars.
Officially, I went to France to drive the new Audi [REDACTED] which will be coming to America soon. And the trip was a bit special, as Audi paid for the best possible experiences on the way to and from France.
As many of you already know, I’m legendarily miserly. Most of my cars are the cheapest, most depreciated versions of them I found for sale. I live in a discount apartment, buy used car parts when possible, and heck, even most of my tech is old. I’m still running an 11-year-old Day One Edition Xbox One because I’m too cheap to buy one of the better ones.
I’m just as cheap when it comes to flying. I prefer flying as cheaply as possible, and generally consider any airfare above $180 to be “too expensive.” That almost always means I’m flying in a crappy seat in the back of a generic Boeing 737 or Airbus A320. I mean, it was exciting when I recently flew Economy in a Boeing 717.
According to our research, Audi spent between $5,500 and $7,000 to get me to France and about the same amount to get me home. That’s $11,000 of flying if we’re being generous or $14,000 on the high end. So, what is that like?
(Full Disclosure: Audi invited us to Nice, France to test the new [Redacted]. Audi has paid for all of my travel, lodging and food, with the interesting twist of paying for the best seats on every aircraft I’ll be flying on. I’m grateful for the experience.)
Audi gave me a choice of flights to get to and from France, and I chose mine based entirely on aircraft type. Coincidentally, the airline flying the coolest plane to Europe was United Airlines and the aircraft was a Boeing 787 Dreamliner, an aircraft I hadn’t ever been on before. My other choices included Lufthansa and British Airways, but both were flying Boeing 777s and I’ve been on those before.
Audi booked the flights, and as I looked through the email I noticed something interesting. Audi didn’t just buy plane tickets, but put me in the best part of the plane. For my United flight, this was Polaris Business Class. This alone was shocking, as literally every single press trip I had taken before placed me in Economy, maybe Economy Plus if the automaker was feeling generous enough. [Ed Note: Plenty of international press trips involve first-class travel, but not all. -DT].Â
Getting a Polaris ticket unlocks an entire world of luxury that mere plebians like myself didn’t know existed.
Everything Is Easier
Nobody likes going to the airport. The lines are long, you have to strip for the TSA, and anything better than misery costs extra. The microtransactions everyone hates from the video game world have permeated many industries. Don’t like removing your shoes and jacket? You can pay for that! Don’t want to wait in line with everyone else? You can pay for that! I mean, TSA PreCheck practically taunts you with its advertisements about only getting dressed once in a day.
Flying United Polaris takes away many of the pain points of going to the airport. United Airlines says that a Polaris ticket grants you two checked bags, access to a faster check-in line at the airport, priority bag handling where your bags are among the first off of the plane, and the one I liked the most, you get to go through United’s Premier Access security lane.
Just a handful of people are allowed access to this security lane, so it’s like getting to speedrun through security. Here’s what I wrote about that line in the previous entry:
This line was a fraction of the size of the regular TSA line at the airport and the TSA agents were a lot more chill. I read warnings that you should get to the airport at least three hours before an international flight. I didn’t want to miss this flight, so I got there five hours early.
I’m not entirely sure what I expected. It’s said you should arrive two hours early for a domestic flight, so I wondered what the extra hour was supposed to be for. At least in this case, it didn’t seem to mean anything. Security screening went exactly the way it does for a domestic flight, only I showed the TSA agent my passport in addition to my driver’s license. I even got through security in a third of the usual time.
Apparently, it was supposed to be even faster than that. There were a number of folks in line who were pissed off because the TSA wasn’t using every scanner and thus wasn’t going as fast as they normally go. One guy got so mad he even yelled at a random TSA agent about it.
While I was deeply disappointed by the behavior of the people in line, I thoroughly enjoyed the far faster way through security. The cool thing is that United Premier Access isn’t limited to Polaris tickets. If you’re flying economy and just want to skip the huge lines, United says you can buy a one-time pass to Premier Access starting at $24. Maybe I’ll try that the next time I get to the airport super late.
Once I got through security, which otherwise wasn’t meaningfully different than a standard security line, I strutted straight to the United Polaris Lounge. You can read about my experience in that wonderful place by clicking here.
When it finally became time to board my flight to Frankfurt, the other benefits of the Polaris ticket started to kick in. My ticket had me in Boarding Group 1, which meant I got on the plane basically immediately after people with wheelchairs, after active duty military members, and so on. That part meant no waiting on a hot jet bridge, no waiting for the people in front of me to stow their luggage and find their seats, and I even had enough time to have a short chat with the flight crew, which I can never do in Group 7 or whatever.
I chose seat 1A for my flight out to Germany. Yes, 1A.
Why? Well, I’m almost always at the very back of the plane when I fly Economy, so I thought taking the very first seat would be a trip. It’s the exact opposite of what I’m used to! When I arrived, I stopped in my tracks and was visibly shocked at where I was going to spend the next 8.5 hours. I got a nice wide seat with so much legroom that my legs couldn’t even reach the end of the Polaris pod seat thing. [Ed Note: As I read this, I am so delighted for Mercedes. -DT]
There were nice tall walls giving me privacy, lots of places to store stuff, and even a real counter to put my drinks, my phone, my purse, or whatever.
I’m far too young to have experienced the era before airline deregulation, but I imagine this is probably as good or better. The seat in the Polaris pod has more adjustments than the seats in most of my cars! The flight crew noticed I was taking pictures of everything. I revealed that not only was this my first time flying internationally, but it was also my first time ever flying something better than Economy and my first time ever on a Boeing 787 Dreamliner.
The flight crew was super excited about this and even celebrated the moment by taking my picture:
Then, I got to spend the rest of the boarding time sipping on champagne while I set up my mini-suite. This is where my “cheapassery” really began to show up again. United provides each Polaris sleeping pod with two different types of pillows and two different types of blankets, each from Saks Fifth Avenue.
First of all, I have no idea what a Saks Fifth Avenue even is, but I was deeply confused by this two-of-everything approach. United says: Our custom Saks Fifth Avenue sleep set has a Saks Day Blanket made from recycled plastic, a duvet and a cooling gel pillow. On flights longer than 14 hours, we also offer pajamas.
Which didn’t help me. What’s a duvet? What’s a day blanket? I was quick to admit to the flight attendants that I had no idea what was going on. Look, I have a memory foam bed with a sheet and a blanket on it at home. One flight attendant explained to me that one of the pillows was like your standard hotel pillow while the smaller one was a gel pillow. One blanket was heavy while the other was light. Ah, okay, now that’s something I can understand.
I found myself confused again when I was given a hot wet towel. What am I supposed to do with this? I just washed my hands with it.
I stuffed away my bedding and set myself up for the flight. The Dreamliner is pretty slick with large electronically dimmable windows that you can control with buttons on the windows themselves or on your seat’s display screen. It takes a while for these windows to dim, but they are fantastically effective at darkening the space in the Polaris pod. I imagine they’re also quite great for the Economy, too. I also love how there are dimming settings, so you can choose to have some light come in.
Flying in a Polaris class seat also gets you eye serum, facial spray, hand cream, ear plugs, socks, noise-cancelling headphones, and an eye mask. Then there’s the food. Now, everyone on the plane gets food, but United goes the extra mile for Polaris, stating:
Choose an entrée from our redesigned United Polaris menu featuring dishes from around the globe. Your main meal is served after takeoff and comes with mixed nuts, an appetizer, a salad, bread, and a made-to-order ice cream sundae for dessert. We also offer midflight snacks and a second dining service.
If you prefer a shorter meal service, ask your flight attendant about express dining. You can get all your courses at one time or select a few items and your meal will be delivered at your request.
All drinks, including beer, wine and liquor are free.
On overnight hops, you get to choose from a list of dinner options that get served to you not long after takeoff. Then, you get to choose breakfast about an hour and a half or so before landing. As the quote above says, you also get ice cream, appetizers, salad, bread, and all of the drinks you can consume. You can even get mixed drinks! I found myself downing Jack and Cokes plus Bloody Mary drinks like they were going out of style.
Speaking of which, I cannot even begin to describe how much booze United serves its Polaris customers. The Polaris Lounge refills your drinks before you’re even finished with them and it’s a similar story on the aircraft. I didn’t even know planes had this much alcohol in them. I’m now convinced that United Polaris passengers probably spend the majority of their flying experiences sloshed.
All of this stuff is served on real glassware and on porcelain plates with real cutlery. The food is even placed on top of a table cover like you’re eating at a nice restaurant.
As for the food itself? Well, it’s not as I expected. The ingredient lists make these dinners sound extravagant. I had a pork cutlet with a tomato-based sauce, some mixed veggies, and shell pasta. On the way home I had ravioli (above). One of the other choices was a piece of cod and there was also a vegetarian option as well. The food tastes fine. It wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t as good as the ingredients list would have you believe. I’d say this food was about on par with one of those “premium” microwave dinners. You know, like that one that sponsors all of your favorite YouTubers.
What I can say is that the food was very filling. Once I was done with every course I felt nice and full. I actually thought twice about getting the breakfast quiche before landing because it felt like I didn’t have room for more food. It was wild that I felt full on an airplane. I’m usually the person buying an overpriced burger at an airport bar and then waiting until landing before eating anything more than airplane pretzels. I’m allergic to spending money on planes. I won’t even buy the Wi-Fi, which, bizarrely, is still something you have to buy on your $10,000 flight.
The Polaris seat also provided the best flying experience I’ve ever had in my entire life. I reclined the seat and put up the footrest to watch Mad Max 2, then when it was time to sleep, I fully extended the seat into a bed, put the heavy blanket down as a sheet, and slept under the lighter blanket.
The sleeping part was a game-changer alone for me. I’m not sure why, but I can never sleep in regular plane seats. I’m always jostled awake and just never get much further progress than closing my eyes. This has proven to be terrible for red-eye flights as I take off tired and land destroyed. Then, I still have to be an adult for some time after. That wasn’t the case here. I fell asleep so hard that I had a dream. I’ve never had that happen on a plane before.
The plane itself was another great experience. The Boeing 787 Dreamliner pressurizes to a cabin altitude of about 6,000 feet, roughly 2,000 feet lower than most other aircraft types. In other words, your body feels like it’s at 6,000 feet, which is more comfortable than a higher altitude. I also loved the aircraft’s smooth ride and strong air-conditioning system. Even when we hit turbulence, it felt like a gentle rock that really only sent me to sleep.
As a result of all of this, I landed in Frankfurt feeling refreshed and ready to tackle my day ahead. It didn’t matter that I skipped forward 7 time zones because my time on the aircraft seemingly left me without the fatigue I get even on short hauls. But I guess that makes sense when you have a large, comfortable seat, filling meals, and a real bed to sleep in.
European Business Class Is Weird
Now I feel like I have to mention the hilarious contrast between United Polaris Business Class and Lufthansa Business Class.
Once I got to Frankfurt, I had to climb a set of stairs out of the jet bridge, pay a visit to the German Bundespolizei (federal police), and make my way to a connecting flight to get me to Nice.
First of all, Frankfurt’s airport is a freaky place. It started when the jet bridge ended with a long staircase. Nobody looked graceful as they dragged their luggage up the stairs. I feel like there should have been a better way to implement getting into the airport from an aircraft. While I thought about that, I was surprised to see giant Winston smoking rooms filled with people. It was 6 a.m. in Germany, yet one smoking room had a constant cloud in it. I would later learn that Europeans seem to smoke way more than Americans do. I saw Renault Twingos four people deep and all of them puffing like steam locomotives.
Anyway, the smoke room was a curiosity, but Frankfurt otherwise felt like many other airports I’ve been to. Things started getting different again when it came time to board my Lufthansa flight to Nice. The screens at the gate didn’t indicate when the flight would board and when it came time for boarding, there weren’t really any real boarding groups. Priority customers went first, then everyone else.
But this didn’t really matter, because you scanned your boarding pass, walked down a flight of stairs, and boarded a bus. Eventually, the bus driver got done leaning on a wall, got in the driver seat, and then drove us out to a waiting Airbus A319.
Disembarking from the bus isn’t an orderly process. Everyone sort of hops out and makes their way to the plane. It doesn’t matter where you sit in the plane because it’s just a free-for-all of people.
The plane itself was also pretty weird to my American eyes. Lufthansa’s A319 was configured as all Economy from front to rear. I had seat 2A, but I sat in an Economy row. What gives? As a frequent international traveler explained to me: European airlines will configure their aircraft as all-economy. Their Business Class will then just be Economy seats, but they won’t sell the middle seat.
That was jarring, but it made sense. The flight to Nice was just 1.5 hours long and honestly, Europe would prefer it if you took a train on such short trips, anyway. It didn’t need to be super luxurious. Besides, we still got breakfast on the plane.
My trip back home was no different than the trip out. I flew on a Lufthansa Bombardier CRJ-900 to Munich, where I boarded another United Boeing 787 Dreamliner to head back to Chicago. That time, I got Polaris seat 2A, which was a goofy configuration compared to many of the other seats. I couldn’t really see out of my windows and the sleeping pod’s desk required some contorting to use.
What was worse was the condition of our aircraft. The 787 I took back to Chicago was built in 2018, yet the Polaris area suffered from enough faults that the flight was almost delayed by three hours. At least three screens didn’t work, at least three audio systems didn’t work, and multiple reclining seats were broken. The lady situated in 1A sat in a seat that was broken — stuck in a partially reclined position. My seat failed twice, sending me reeling backward without warning. My seat then got stuck in a too-reclined state that you can’t even achieve with the buttons.
The flight crew gave us an ultimatum. We could wait around 3 hours for the maintenance crew to fix this stuff, or we could fly home and just deal with the broken stuff. The entire cabin spent no time at all unanimously agreeing to not get delayed.
This flight was also a bit weird for me as it departed Munich at 11 in the morning and landed in Chicago at 2 in the afternoon. It was still a 10-hour flight, but it was daytime the whole time. If you’ve never experienced jet lag before, take an international flight. It’ll break your sleep cycle for days.
I had the time of my life on these flights. I didn’t know flying commercial could be so fun, so filling, or so refreshing. I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word “refreshing” to describe flying commercial, but that’s perhaps the best word to match with United Polaris.
So, we arrive at the question I posed early on. Is United Polaris worth $10,000 in each direction? Apparently, Polaris flights can get down to $2,000 or $4,000 depending on your destination, your booking time, and so on. But this particular flight had to have been $5,500 to $7,000 in each direction.
While I had the best flying experience of my life in United Polaris, I’m not sure I could justify the cost. Most of the cars in my fleet were purchased for a fraction of a Polaris ticket, and the cars usually last longer than 8 hours. Yes, this experience was otherworldly. Yes, I never want to fly Economy ever again. However, that price is a shocker. When I worked at the old site, just one $10,000 Polaris ticket would have been 18 percent of my yearly salary. Heck, that cost buys me one whole year of rent at my apartment.
So, United Polaris is simply amazing and an experience that’s hard to put into words. However, unless you’ve got a ton of cash or an absurd amount of airline miles racked up, it’s a bit dear. That’s a shame because this is what flying should be like.
(Correction: We’ve taken a second look at fares and it looks like the total for the flight should have been around $11,000 to $14,000, not $20,000.)
(Images: Author)
EuroBusiness is kind of pointless. I think it’s mainly offered for people who are connecting onto long-haul business.
I’ve flown it twice, on BA, when I’ve been upgraded. It’s enjoyable, but I’d not pay much extra for it. Years ago, they used to have these convertible seats in the front half of the plane. The middle seat would squish in, making the ‘A’ and ‘C’ seats wider. I have a memory of the whole left side squishing over and the right ‘DEF’ seats all getting wider, to make a 5-abrest config in business, but I’m not 100% sure about it.
These days they just either don’t sell the middle seat, or they have a little table insert which clips into the armrests.
Long-haul business is just wonderful. I’ve done it once, on Air France, from Paris to Chicago. I scored an upgrade from basic economy for £380, which is insane, and I’m quite sure was an error fare. The AF lounge in Paris is amazing, and I was slightly sozzled on champagne before I even got on the plane.
I have to say though, flying west isn’t bad for jetlag, in my opinion. I used to fly trans-Atlantic a lot (I did 7 return trips in the year after the US border re-opened to non-citizens after Covid, but only 3 since then). If you stay awake during the flight, and force yourself to stay awake until around 10-11pm local time in the US, then jetlag is sorted the next day.
The worst is when the cabin crew decide they want you to sleep on a day flight, and override the windows on the 787, turn them to black, turn out the lights, and disappear to the crew rest and hide (yes, it was an AA flight)
” I didn’t even get to see Monaco or step foot on a beach.”
Sounds like an average business trip. I’ve been to so many cities where I’ve only seen the airport, the hotel, the work site and nothing else.
Tell us how your next economy flight feels. :0
Sounds like it was a great trip! Glad you had fun and enjoyed
Americans first class is ROTW business or premium economy.
The US can’t do luxury, sorry. Anything over $3500 for that cabin is daylight robbery!
United Polaris is a huge step above any airline’s premium economy. It’s not sold as first class anyway- it’s a business class cabin, and it’s sold as that. It’s a nicer seat by most accounts than some supposedly ‘luxury’ airlines. For example, except for the few 777s that have premium economy, the business class seats on Emirates’ 777s don’t have direct aisle access, and you can be in a middle seat even!
The only airline that I know of that sells a lie-flat seat as ‘premium economy’ is weirdly Level, part of IAG (the holding company that owns Iberia and British Airways, amongst others). But that’s because they have some second-hand A330s that they haven’t reconfigured yet.
Domestic first class in the US will use the Polaris cabin when you get a widebody on a short flight though. But domestic first class (with the exception of a few specific ‘premium’ routes) only guarantees you a recliner seat. The ‘first class’ seats you get on a 737 or A320 in the US are pretty similar to most airline’s long-haul premium economy seats.
United recently completely fucked up a recent trip of mine, so the broken stuff in the premium section is the least surprising thing I’ve read. But that’s still such a cool experience for you otherwise! I’ve only ever gotten to try first class domestically, and always for comically short flights. Hopefully you don’t get too disappointed the next time you go international and have to do economy.
You did it all wrong: you were supposed to “Get COVID” and not be able to fly back for, say, a week or two. Maybe longer.
Airside smoking lounges vary across Europe. There’s none in the UK or Holland, but in Germany they’re very prevalent. In fact, Germany in general seems to be much more relaxed towards smoking in public areas – i went to an alternative bar in Frankfurt the other week and you could smoke inside. A few years back i even stayed in a smoking hotel room.
Frankfurt airport is a fucking nightmare layout though. By far the worst I’ve ever experienced, the pain only slightly lessened by the sight of the Lufthansa 747s.