I was supposed to have a post this morning detailing how we’re going to take our super minty Pontiac Aztek up to Monterey Car Week. In fact, when I flew into Los Angeles yesterday afternoon I had a long list of tasks to accomplish before leaving for Monterey this morning. Many of those things did not happen.
Why? First, David bailed on us because he decided he wanted to install a transmission cooler in the Aztek before our trip and he needed some very specific Aztek parts. Jason and I got to Galpin from the airport around 3:00 PM California time and barely had time to settle in before Jason had to “borrow” a Ford Expedition from Galpin and take it to a shop to get these magical Aztek transmission magnets.
So Jason left on his sidequest and I went over to talk to the fine video folks at Galpin Media over at their offices about all our plant for the Aztek this week. That’s when the phone rang. “I have to take this,” Chris de la Garza, the main guy behind most of our videos, insisted as he picked up the receiver. He had to take it because it was Beau’s wonderful Executive Assistant Alexis
(Side note: everyone who works at Galpin is amazing so if I refer to someone here just assume they are a delightful blend of competent and funny. Everyone I meet seems to take their jobs seriously while not taking themselves too seriously. It’s great.)
At this point, it’s maybe 4:30 PM. Our plan is for David to finish the Aztek, go to the Horseless Carriage restaurant at Galpin, grab some tuna melts, and write a bunch of posts.
Here’s what happened instead.
Chris turns to me halfway into the call and says “He’s right here, you don’t need to look for him. Yes, I’ll put you on speakerphone.”
“Beau would like to know if you could join him and the Buchmanns at Spago at 6:00 pm, can you make it,” Alexis asked.
The great thing about working here is you can say “no” to things. You can disagree. It’s the best kind of partnership. However, you’d be insane to turn down a meal with Beau as he always knows exactly what everyone wants to eat (whether it’s on the menu or not) and then orders more than enough for the table. You almost don’t even need to order your own food because dishes just start appearing and sharing is highly encouraged.
“Uhh… gimme three minutes. I’ll walk over to your office and I’ll have an answer.”
I call David, who is arms-deep in the Aztek parts. He needs to keep working on the Aztek, but he’s at a good stopping point. He thinks he can shower and make it. I call Jason, he’s rushing back with parts and he, too, thinks we can make it if nothing goes wrong.
As I walk into the main office I let Alexis know we’re good-to-go and can probably get the restaurant in time.
“Ok, but remember to dress nice,” Alexis says, politely not pointing out my wrinkled my post-airplane attire.
“Uhhh… sure.”
Jason and I duck into an Uber and race to our hotel. We have negative time so we have to change as fast as possible. I ask the driver to wait and make a bet with Jason: The first person back gets to order the drink for the loser.
I win, of course, because I decided our elevator was slow enough that I could just change in there (no one caught me, thankfully). Here’s the drink:
Honestly, less embarrassing than I thought and kinda delicious. It’s a peach-y take on Sex on the Beach called a “Teaches of Peaches” which, surely, is a reference to this video:
Our dinner companions are Beau’s delightful wife Mary and special guests Rainer Buchmann and Kathrin Buchmann of bb -Auto fame, who will also be a part of this trip. Side note: Porsche Santa Clarita and bb will be showing something incredible at Monterey this week:
It was a great dinner. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen were a couple of tables over. I ate a salmon pizza (so good).
Unaware of our bet, David took one look at Jason’s drink and said “I’ll have one of those.” It is, in fact, a perfect David drink.
Of course, look what David put on the table:
Genuine GM parts! On the table! At Spago, Wolfgang Puck’s famously hip Beverly Hills restaurant!
It was one of those meals that never slowed down, the conversation never ceased, and all of a sudden it was super late and we were full of food. Jason and I offered to go help David finish the Aztek (Jason was slightly more sincere than myself, I was pretty wiped).
“Nah, we’ll be fine” David insisted to all of us. We’ll be driving to Monterey in a couple of hours with an Aztek that has a transmission cooler mounted, but not connected, and a bag full of parts. We haven’t written any posts or prepped anything. We’re going to be starting the trip in a big hole.
So it’s already shaping up to be a pretty normal Autopian adventure!
I know an ex-military guy that’s about 6’4″, musclebound with a big beard and covered in tattoos.
His first order in any bar is “give me the biggest, girliest drink you have.”
It was funny when one time it showed up and he just frowned, saying it was pretty underwhelming both in look and taste.
Good job keeping the elbows off the table HDDT!
Beau is just thankful that DT has learned to use a fork…
Never be embarrassed by a fruity drink – they’re delicious. Way back in my college days I used to go to a sports bar and request a strawberry daiquiri served in their prettiest glass. Own it.
Remember, David – it’s “fwah grah,” not “phooey grass.”
DT will be fine. He’s half German and them Germans have an affinity towards occupying France.
Dinner on the company tab at Spago?? How do I apply for a job at The Autopian? I can write and I drive a Lotis so shit breaks all the time. I’m a shoo in
I have worked at / owned startups. Fancy dinners are for the guy who writes the checks to keep the leaky boat floating and the guys who work for subsistence wages for the amazing experience and the slim chance that it might pay back one day.
Most insightful thing I read today. Word.
Um, unless my sarcasm meter is broken again today “I drive a Lotis” may not be helping your case…
(Sadly my sarcasm meter is so wacked out these days I can barely read satire like The Onion anymore because I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. Reality has gone that insane)
OK. So I both can’t write and can’t proofread… No Spago for me! And the Lotus is still broken.
Torch looks good! Hope all is well and he’s healthy. I love these “It’s almost a disaster, but not quite yet.” stories. Makes me realize how running an IT consulting practice is pretty much the same.
Dinner with Bachmann and Buchmann? That’s not confusing at all.
what’s your vector, Victor?
Sounds like it’s Bachmann Tuner Overdrive.
Buchmann? Isn’t that the library cop? No, that’s Bookman…eh, close enough
Bachmann is also a brand of toy train. The website is bachmanntrains dot com.
I love how, like, every single major event the Autopian undertakes feels like it is a single barest thread away from complete pandemonium at any given moment. Like, everything they do is just that Spongebob meme where everything is on fire, except in real life
Most of the internet is performative chaos. Autopian is genuine.
Performative chaos is a perfect description.
All I can think of is that DT and Torch in a nice fancy restaurant is like the dinner scene from the Blues Brothers.
Did anyone order toast?
The little girls. Sell them to me…
Wrong glass, sir.
*shakes glass at waiter anyways*
David is simply the best! Why? He just doesn’t give a shit what other people think about him. He does his thing, his way, and he’s really nice about it too. Disclaimer- I don’t know him personally, but I’ve read enough of his articles to feel like I do.
There are three types of Spago patrons. Those that are cool and wealthy enough to go there so it is just a natural thing, those that are not cool enough so they are trying like hell to act like they are, and those that are blissfully unaware that they are supposed to be cool.
David Tracy is the third type, arguably the coolest of them all.
David is the ultimate embodiment of punk in the sense that he is always, unapologetically, himself. And when that unadorned self is as kind-hearted and earnest as David is, that’s a very rare and cool thing. I consider myself fortunate to have met him.
The great Mike Watt: “Punk is whatever we made it to be.”
And to think DT has been on NYT Style section more often than most Spago patrons can dream of.
Former Coolant systems engineer adds additional coolant capabilities to a 20 year old vehicle (attached but not hooked up) just before a big road trip?
Seems like a decently prudent move and checks out for a engineering be prepared mindset
Last picture:
Beau and Jason quietly say grace before their meal while David pretends and hopes no one is offended.
Trivial faux-pas perhaps, doesn’t move the needle on the gasp-o-meter. Of course last week’s juicy couture velour incident may have fried it.
I need the recipe for this Teaches of Peaches drink…
I need the recipe for the Teaches of Peaches dancer.
Equal parts massive ego and negligible self esteem.
That does look like good pizza
Fish on a pizza just reminds me that some people may have too much money?
Spago apparently serves pizza topped with the 50 million dollar tin of anchovies from Futurama.
‘meh. It’s basically a bagel and schmear and lox, but instead of the bagel, it’s pizza crust.
Jeezus. I feel like I need to seriously improve my social standing if I’m to continue visiting this automobile enthusiast’s publication.
I bought a $40 tux yesterday just to keep up.
Well, look at the fancy man!
No monocle? Nothing but a pleb!
The amount of content generated from Beau’s attempts to integrate David into high society could spawn an entirely new Galpin Media property.
Quick, someone buy beauhasananeurysm.com.
Basically, that one Three Stooges short wherein a society guy makes a bet with his friends he can turn the three idiots into civilized people. I recall that episode ends in a food fight.
“Pimp My Rustbelter”
I’m trying for a portmanteau of Pygmalion and something car related, but I got nuthin.
Pygmalionda? Pigmontiac? Pontmalion?
Pugmalion, as in Peugeot
So, the Aztek got through, what, 20 years or so without a transmission cooler, yet on the eve of a business road trip, David decides to install one, which won’t actually be connected, but it’ll be there. Oh thank heavens, we haven’t completely lost the boy to gentrification! Either that or he plans on trailering a load of swag back from Monterey.
It would appear the 4T65-E has begun doing 4T65-E things, the cooler might be an attempt to put off the inevitable. I could be wrong though. It will be entertaining either way.
I legit didn’t recognize Torch without his usual “hipster T-shirt and cargos” drag. Hope he’s feeling well.
The one thing I miss about corporate life — occasionally going to fantastic places and meeting interesting people. Oh and the marketing department expense accounts!
My rule for dining out with friends / new acquaintances:
Always order as if someone else is going to pay. Because they might!
My family was of very modest means when I grew up and to this day I’m still averse to taking cabs or uber, because it’s too decadent.
But on the job? Bring it on! Once I took a $300, 100-mile uber trip because waiting for the train would have cost the client several times more.
Other People’s Money is the best money.
“Other People’s Money is the best money.”
A time honored, if not said out loud, political campaign slogan
My racecar mechanic’s company is called OPM Autosports. I asked if that was so he could go racing with “Other People’s Money”. He says it is “Optimum Performance Machinery”. Yeah, right.
Sure he wasn’t just an opium addict?
I love money. I love money more than the things it can buy. There’s only one thing I love more than money. You know what that is? OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY.
–Danny DeVito as Lawrence Garfield
With all sincerity, this sounds like a perfect start to an extremely fun trip. Good luck!
This does not bode well.
They’re probably stranded on the side of Highway 1 right now. Don’t worry, they’ll make it to Monterey but it’ll take some weird combination of repair ingenuity and dubious hitchhiking to a town that might have a store that hopefully has the exact obscure part that they need.
Not for them, maybe. But for us, the readership? Woo hoo!
Absolutely classic, although that Instagram video exposes far more of David’s naked chest than I’m comfortable with.
I was supposed to be arriving to meet friends at Laguna Seca today from OK, and it just didn’t work out this year. Glad I got to meet you guys while I was there last year, and am looking forward to living vicariously through more Car Week posts.
He waxed it just for the video.
Can’t unsee. Pass the eye bleach.
ACDelco value went up after this picture was posted, Motorcraft is jealous. Mopar was probably at waffle house.
Q: does GM still call it AC Delco? Legitimately asking…I’m a Ford guy, so I’m surrounded by orange-red boxes, and I know Mopar, but GM’s stuff always seems less obvious to me.
They do, I just replaced a 12V battery with ACDelco printed big from the dealership, it was cheaper than autozone.
GM Parts Person here: yes they do still make ACDelco. The two main lines are GM Genuine Parts and ACDelco.
What? David didn’t wear his Facebook Marketplace tux? He paid $35 for that! I can’t believe he doesn’t wear it everywhere, just to get his money’s worth.
You mean the Tuxedo? I suspect it may be mandatory attire when living out of an Aztec.
There’s your clickbait image for the first article: David propping himself up on one elbow in the back of the Aztek, one of those peachy drinks in hand, wearing the tux and a come-hither smile.
The internet is the wild west but some things are still considered crimes against humanity.
Autopian Rule 34?
100%, all 5 doors, XXX Aztek action!