Hiding In The Back Alleys Along The Ventura Freeway: 1975 Chevy Monza vs 1983 Ford Mustang

Good morning! We’re kicking the week off with a pair of cars from the only part of Los Angeles I really got to know well when I lived there: the 134/101 freeway corridor between Eagle Rock and Tarzana. Not the most exciting part of town, but what the hell.

Friday’s four-way shootout was a moot point; absolutely nothing in that list is as cool as a Pontiac Aztek, and we all know it. But not everyone can land such a sweet ride. You all chose the Opel Manta from among our foursome, and I am in full agreement that that is the right choice.

I have to say, I was thrilled to hear about the reception that the Aztek received in Monterey. Too often we hear stories about car snobs, people looking down their noses at a particular car and claiming it has “no place” in car culture. It’s bullshit, and shame on them for “yucking someone else’s yum,” as the kids say. (Do they still say that? I don’t know. I’m hopelessly out of touch.) All cars – and more importantly, all car enthusiasts – deserve a seat at the table.

Admit it – whenever you drive down a street, particularly in a residential area, you check out the cars parked. We all do it. Most of them are just scenery, but we keep looking, hoping to find that one diamond in the rough sitting in a driveway or hidden in a side yard. And when we find one, we keep tabs on it whenever we pass by, making sure it’s all right, maybe hoping, one day, to see a “For Sale” sign appear in the window.

There was a green AMC Gremlin in a driveway a couple miles from my house in Portland that I watched over the course of three or four years. At first it was in the yard, then after a couple years it moved to the driveway – a good sign. Then, shortly before we moved, a yellow “Specialty Vehicle” license plate appeared on the back. I never did see it run or drive, but it did my heart good to see its lot in life improving.

I like to imagine some car enthusiast driving or walking past these two, and wishing them the best. With a little luck, both of them will find good new homes. Let’s check them out.

1975 Chevrolet Monza Towne Coupe – $4,000

Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Valley Village, CA

Odometer reading: 110,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives

When life gives you lemons, the old saying goes, make lemonade. Well, Chevy’s Vega compact was definitely a lemon, and the Monza, based on the Vega’s platform, was more like watered-down Country Time than fresh-squeezed. But it solved the Vega’s most glaring shortcomings, and in certain trims, actually looked pretty cool. Chevy offered two completely different Monza body styles: the sleek 2+2 fastback, and this miniature Monte Carlo version known as the Towne Coupe.

The standard engine in both Monzas was the same trouble-prone four-cylinder from the Vega, but Chevy also offered a small-block V8. Most of the country got a tiny 262 cubic inch version, but to meet California emissions, Monzas sold in the Golden State got a 350. Don’t get too excited, though; it was rated at all of 125 horsepower. This one runs and drives, but that’s all the detail we get. The good news is that it’s old enough to be exempt from smog testing, so you can go nuts with the modifications to boost the power if you want.

It’s not in terrible shape; the seller says the front seats were just reupholstered, and the rear seat and carpets look all right. The dash is that terrible ’70s GM plastic that has all looked like hell since about 1982. It’s cracked, pitted, and worn. If it were a Camaro or a Monte Carlo, you could probably find a replacement dash top, but for a Monza, you’re probably stuck with it.

Outside, it’s straight, original, and intact, but very faded. And even in California, I fear that vinyl top is hiding some rust caused by trapped moisture, especially since I’ve removed the vinyl top from a ’78 Nova, and discovered that there was nothing but primer, and lots of rust, underneath.

1983 Ford Mustang Convertible – $3,500

Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter overhead valve V6, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Glendale, CA

Odometer reading: 160,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

A convertible was part of the Mustang formula from the beginning, but the soft-top version disappeared after 1973 when the “fat” Mustang gave way to the smaller Mustang II. Convertibles disappeared from Detroit altogether after 1976, until Lee Iacocca brought them back in 1982. Ford wasted no time in lopping the top off the Mustang once again, offering a convertible Fox-body starting in 1983.

The Fox-body Mustang offered a bunch of different engines over the years, but most of the early convertibles I’ve seen have a 3.8 liter Essex V6 and an automatic. It’s not exactly fast, but Mustang convertibles are all about cruising, not high performance – except, of course, for those rare occasions when you have to “slam on the gas.” This one runs and drives well, the seller says, and has a new power brake booster, so at least someone has been doing some work on it.

The biggest problem with non-GT Mustangs of this era is that the interiors are downright frumpy. That’s the same steering wheel that was in your uncle’s Crown Victoria, for Pete’s sake. And fake woodgrain on the dash? What was Ford thinking? It’s hard to tell what condition this one is in; you’d have to clean off the dust and neglect before making a proper assessment.

Outside, the paint is shot, the hubcaps are missing, and one taillight is broken. And again, it’s very, very dirty. But the top is in good condition, at least, and the power mechanism works.

I hesitate to call these “project cars,” because neither one is particularly desirable. But if you’re looking for something a little unusual to tinker with, they might be just the thing. Which one grabs you?

(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)