For decades, brands like Hot Wheels and Matchbox have allowed car enthusiasts of all ages to own perfect tiny versions of their favorite cars. But what about the broken car you have in your driveway right now, or perhaps your first car? There isn’t a Hot Wheels for your shitbox sitting on blocks in your driveway. Well, not until now. Starting tomorrow, you can buy the Hot Wheels x MSCHF Not Wheels, perhaps the crappiest car to ever be put into a bubble pack. We have to look at the details of this thing because they’re great.
While this car seems to be completely random, it makes much more sense when you realize it’s a part of Mattel Creations. What is Mattel Creations? Well, Mattel calls it an “elevated collector platform” for creators to collaborate with Mattel to craft limited-edition toys for today’s collectors.
In other words, Mattel noticed that a lot of today’s adults love collecting Hot Wheels, Barbie, and other toys, but has also noticed that adults love pop-culture brands like Supreme and Daniel Arsham. Some might see these collabs as shameless cash grabs, and the high prices for these toys (relative to their regular examples, anyway) doesn’t help. At the very least, the toys that come out of the other end look really cool.
The name Mattel Creations is also supposed to be a nod to Mattel’s origins. In 1945, Businessman Harold “Matt” Matson joined forces with Elliot and Ruth Handler to open Mattel Creations out of a garage in Los Angeles. Like so many companies, Mattel is just two names mashed together, in this case Matson and Elliot. The company’s first products were picture frames and dollhouse furniture crafted out of the scraps from those frames. Eventually, the Handlers would gain full control of the company and over time, Mattel would grow into the toy giant that it is today.
The modern incarnation of Mattel Creations has cranked out some really artsy toys from a hot 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 302 to a customizable Toyota Tacoma. You can even buy a reimagining of the famous Hot Wheels Deora II, so long as you’re willing to spend $70 on a small diecast car, anyway.
This time around, Mattel and Hot Wheels is collaborating with MSCHF, the designers of intentionally absurd shoes, boots, and handbags. MSCHF’s whole thing is to be sort of annoying on purpose, as seen by its products and mission statement that it’s “an art and media company known for creating viral and controversial products that generate media attention and public debate.” MSCHF’s website has that low-fi ’90s Internet vibe that you get from other companies like Pit Viper and it’s almost certainly nostalgia bait for ’90s kids like me. Honestly, I’m a bit stunned that you can really buy double-ended flip-flop-style high heels for $450 from this company. Are people actually doing that?
The Diecast
Well, I guess all of this marketing has worked on me because I adore this little Hot Wheels x MSCHF Not Wheels shitbox.
The description of this one gets right to the point:
In an homage to the beat-up but reliable car that many drivers start off with, we partnered with art and media company MSCHF to create a “Not Wheels” vehicle. Inspired by early 1990s Japanese imports, it has three different wheels (two Real Riders classic tires, one yellow spare tire, and a rusted wheel hub) but tons of personality. Thoroughly dented, rusted, and amateurly repaired, our Not Wheels car proudly shows off both how hard it’s been driven and how much it’s been loved.
Like a car from Grand Theft Auto, it’s supposed to look generically like a ’90s Japanese beater, which makes sense. I’m not sure Honda would license a beater Civic. The front end gives me late ’80s Toyota Camry feels while the rear seems like it’s Lexus-inspired, but I cannot put my finger on exactly which model.
Anyway, the intricate details here are incredible. The car is peppered in rust, mismatched panels, dents, scrapes, stickers, spray foam body repairs, and even zip ties. I love how the windows are cracked and dirty and even some parking tickets are making an appearance. Of course, this is supposed to be a replica of a first car, so the requisite fart-can exhaust and terrible wing are there, too.
Heck, the detail is so fine here that the headlights are yellowed out, a taillight is smashed, the driver mirror is taped on, and one wheel is a donut spare while another is just straight-up missing. Finally, you get the calling card of every worn out car: a seatbelt that no longer retracts, hanging forlornly over the door sill.
Even the packaging is humorous with “Used For 2024” and spins on Mattel’s usual boilerplate. There’s “NO WARRANTY” in place of the usual Limited Lifetime Warranty details, and instead of pointing out the car may not be suitable for some tracks as per Mattel standard, the card explains the shitbox is not suitable for people with country club memberships.
It’s all good fun and MSCHF certainly nailed down the true shitbox feel. Some of you probably know how it feels to blow a tire when your car is already wearing its donut spare on another tire that blew.
Right, so now I have the bad news. This car goes on sale tomorrow at 1 p.m. Central time and only a limited number will be sold. Mattel won’t even say how many will be made and the company wants you to chuck out $30 for this. Just typing that made me feel icky. I can almost guarantee scalpers will be picking these things up and putting them on eBay for five times their cost in no time flat, and now I want to vomit.
So, if you’re willing to spend $30 on a shitbox Hot Wheels car, you better buy as soon as they come out or you might miss the boat. I hate saying that as much as you hate reading it.
Still, I’m thoroughly entertained by this little 1:64 diecast. Finally, Hot Wheels is making a car that looks like every poor enthusiast’s first car or the beater of someone who might participate in the Gambler 500. I’d love to see this happen again, but maybe as a regular series vehicle.
(Update: August 30 – The car sold out in mere minutes. I had a timer set for the drop time and I was just a few minutes late, yet I still couldn’t get one. Either this was super limited production or you’re about to see scalpers with these all over the Internet. To say this is a bummer is an understatement. I’ve reached out to Mattel to see if I can deliver some good news.)
And that’s a wrap! These things sold out in minutes. No word on if there will be a second batch, but if you weren’t there exactly at the drop time today you missed out. Ouch.
Bummer you couldn’t get one. I too had an alarm set and managed to snag one. I added it to cart within 2 seconds of it going on sale and then got put into a queue to check out that took like 4 minutes, I was so paranoid I wasn’t going to get it. I should’ve grabbed the 3 they allowed to share with Autopians but I didn’t think about that until I was in line and I wasn’t about to go risk losing the one by going back.
Awesome to hear a first hand account of at least one not going to ebay scalpers.
Oh wow. $80 for a hot wheels car. That’s crazy!
I’ve been an RLC member for a few years now (not that these are RLC), and have never heard of a second drop. Is that something that happens? It would annihilate the second hand market for the first drop for a while.
This cracked me up 🙂 Pure awesomeness, well done.
*checks calendar*
Nope, not April 1.
Ok, this is awesome!
Oh this is awesome. Now can we please have a Hot Wheels x Breaking Bad collection? The shit box here reminds me of Saul’s Suzuki Esteem.
They’ve already got the Volvo 850 (yes, Gus’s was a V70), just released a modded Aztek this year (with a porkpie hat easter egg. Dusting off Sheriff Patrol for Mike’s Fifth Avenue wouldn’t be quite right, but I think it’s the closest they have without going for a new casting.
And if they’d just buy out Majorette, then they’ve got the Tercel wagon (mine looks about as beat as Jesse’s).
So many great “car-racters”:
– Gus’ V70 (the ultimate sleeper)
– Aztek (duh)
– Skyler’s Wagoneer
– The meth Bounder
– Saul’s Esteem and DeVille
– Mike’s Fifth Avenue
– Jesse’ Tercel AND his bouncing Monte Carlo
– Marie’s purple New Beetle
– Hank’s Patriot (brilliant!)
– Walt Jr’s Challenger
– The Pollos Hermanos box truck
Plus if you buy the set, you get a miniature car wash to display them around.
…and that’s not even dipping into the BCS auto-verse!
Also, who knows which BB/BCS character has 4 different iconic car associations?
Uh, no. Just no. If Mattel bought out Majorette, then Majorette is good as dead. Mattel’s ultimate goal is to buy out other brands and then kill them (if they haven’t run them out of business first) so they can gain more market share and eventually monopolize the diecast segment.
That was the plan when it bought Corgi in 1987; by 1991 it was slowly phasing them out. Corgi management bought the brand back from Mattel but left it’s 1/64s with Mattel. they have also attempted to shut down Matchbox since they bought it in 1997, but Matchbox is too iconic a brand to eliminate.
Yeah, not a serious proposal, just to bring up the existing 1:64 of a relatively mundane obscure car integral to the show.
There do seem to be people at HW who like movies/tv and try to work them in when they can – I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that my HW ’72 Ford Gran Torino is the exact bottle green with the lighter laser stripe color as the one in the movie.
Stupid
I’ll go yell at a cloud now.
“Some of you probably know how it feels to blow a tire when your car is already wearing its donut spare on another tire that blew.”
This hits me right where I live.
They really missed their chance to immortalize Big Altima Energy as a Hot Wheel.
Thank you: my absolute first thought
I came here to say this exact thing. Maybe the next edition can be the BME. People will be impressed at how fast it rolls on 2 spare donuts and no front bumper.
If it had been a Jeep I would have thought David was behind it.
The license plate should read “AUTOPIAN”
Finally! A Hot Wheels model for a car I’d actually be able to afford outright. As long as I don’t have to make the repairs, that is.
Wait…what!? $30 bucks for this?! Used cars are so overpriced now! Damn!
That’s $1920 full size money, way too much, I vote Crack Pipe.
The missing trim on the right rear blue door seems like an homage to the MKIII Golf and Jetta models.
I still have my original Hot Wheels, Matchbox, Johnny Lightning, and a couple of Corgis from the late ’60s through to early ’80s. Some of those earlier ones look worse than this MSCHF.
Taillights are screaming LS430, but the outer sections are flipped vertically
I was thinking Y33 Nissan Cima
Ahhh yep that’s it. I had something JDM in the back of my mind but after going through crowns, chases, and centuries on google I gave up haha.
If I am actually able to get one the plan is to just mod it so it looks stock.
Not as interesting as I expected it to be, but not the worst. Honestly my favorite hotwheels were the Crack-ups which “Dented” when hit by something.
Also Johnny Lightning Barn Find cars are more my style I guess.
I’m gonna try to get one. Wish me luck.
I bought their Illegal potato chips.
Beater Hot Wheels and it doesn’t come with the axles pre-bent? Someone better get reprimanded for that.
Like all my Hotwheels that repeatedly got abused and now get heat treated in my closet every summer.
It’s a real life beater car made as a Hot Wheels. More so than a beater Hot Wheels as a Hot Wheels.
Eerily close in design, and condition to the Geo Prism I had in high school.
I’m don’t feel seen, you feel seen! *Sobs into three pairs of jackstands*
I have a tip for how to do this with ANY tiny toy car for far less. Pick out whatever you like, remove from the packaging, and throw it in whatever you use for schlepping your crap on the daily; handbag, backpack, whatever. Give it a few months being tossed around and you will quickly get some nice authentic dings and paint chips! Bonus points if you then leave it in some wet dirt for a while as well. I have a Lancia Stratos and a Fiat 500 I keep in my bag (don’t judge me, they’re my emotional support toys) and both have developed a certain shitboxery this way.
It took my son two weeks to turn a minty Bring-a-Trailer-esque example of a ’97 Prelude into typical Prelude condition. I only assume he ingested it multiple times for it to have lost so much paint.
They should totally do a Gamber 500-Hot Wheels co-op. Beam.ng Drive already did!
Actually… a Beam.ng drive-Hot Wheels co-op would be AWESOME too!
I wonder if “The Autopian” will ever do an article about car video games.
You have no idea how much I want to profess my love for Driver: San Francisco. Sadly, gaming content usually bombs on sites like these. I know gaming stuff basically fell into a black hole at the old site. But hey, times change, so it might be worth trying again!
Oh my god
Did you know that on the PC version the top speeds for the cars are set in a text file? You can just go in there and change them and that’s that. You can use the hills to launch yourself out of the map, it’s so so good.
I beat the initial driving test with mouse and keyboard, because 11-year-old me goes hard
Way way back, my brother and I were playing both Driver and GTA 2 on playstation, musing how amazing a game it would be if you combined them in to one amazing game. Then GTA3 came out. Seemed like Rockstar plucked the idea right out of our heads. We had some great times with GTA3 back in the day.
I cut my racing sims teeth on Test Drive and Pitstop on a c64. Now I play modern games as somethings are better left behind.
I am sure Torch has these in his pile of stuff..I mean archive.
Cool! Maybe like a once-a-week/month treat or something like that. I think it would be wise to start with an infrequent release schedule to test the waters before diving back in.
I’m sure you guys already have it all figured out cuz your smart.
They have. We had a pretty robust discussion about games in the comments, too.
Thanks for planting that idea in my head, now I totally want a Hot Wheels Pessima
A “D-series” with “breaking” doors hood and bed.
Now I want this stuff… I can’t even imagine the epicness that a “Hot Wheels” Beam.Ng map could have.
I have mixed feelings about this one. My first reaction is “this is cool”, immediately tempered with the thought that HW seems to be trying a little too hard to embrace shitbox culture. I’m honestly getting Opel vibes from it, but obviously being unlicensed that’s open to interpretation. It’s about on par for price with RLC releases, which I suppose is reasonable. Not that I’ll be buying one…I’m sure this will sell out in minutes.
Ah, the David Tracy product line
Ahem…
David Tracy Signature Series.
The David Tracy Collection
The Detroit David Tracy Collection.
The LA David Collection is rust-free and wrapped in XPEL. Although it does include one slightly charred ’65 Mustang.
Oh, good point
Hollywood Tracy drives a BMW and goes to fancy dinners.
DT goes bougie
But smells like Cat shit…
Oh yeah, I forgot about the Pussycat Magnet Jeep. That would be a great one for this series.
My son would love this, as he likes making demolition derbies for his toy cars. Not paying $30 though just so he can smash it against other diecasts.
Nice, though I do prefer the HW “Experimotors” line, where they do some low-key interesting stuff w/o it being a thing, much less a $30 thing.
There was a recent mainline, buck-and-some-change braille car that I thought was a cool way for kids with visual disabilities to get even more of a HW experience. Easy to produce, and seemingly done without any gigantic “look at this!” fanfare.
They also did a fidget spinner-y one (a two-sided car) for National Autism Day I’ve got at my home desk to fiddle with.
The “Experimotors” are awesome. I’ve managed to pick up the fidget spinner one, the one with a comb, and the money clip one. They’re really the only HW I collect being that they’re just plain goofy.
This really feels like something Obvious Plant would do
That’s what I originally thought it was when I saw it on Instagram the other day. Fucking love Obvious Plant. None of this is real, nothing is real.
Needs more intentional grammatical errors
Much corrode
Lower neighborly property value
The bumper stickers are pretty much spot on though
I don’t plan on adding a fart-can or wing to my 600$ Civic. I will add a custom cold air intake with a kit I got for 20$ at a bin store though.