When I got back from Stuttgart yesterday and set about the always embarrassingly too-long process of finding where I parked my car in the huge airport lot, I ended my search with a bit of an unpleasant surprise. To be fair, nothing bad actually happened, but the scene I arrived at was a sort of frozen moment of a close call, and it got me wondering. What I found was the scene you see up above there, where that GMC SUV had been parked unsettlingly close to the face of my little Nissan Pao.
To me, even with no actual contact, this feels too close. If it was me parking that GMC and I walked out and saw this, I’d get back in the car and back up at least six inches or so. I just wouldn’t feel right about parking my car so precariously close to another car.
If we look at the photo, you can see the GMC is actually over the dividing line of the two spots:
In the upper part of the photo you can clearly see the line that divides the spots on the left from those on the right, and that GMC’s nose is definitely flopping over that line. There’s maybe an inch and a half to two inches between our two cars? Again, there’s no contact here, but this still feels wrong.
David and I encountered something similar – though worse, as there was contact – at Pebble Beach last year, and made this little reel:
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Now, my situation is a bit different. There was no harm done, at all. But it’s also not a parking job I would personally feel comfortable with. The side-to0-side parking closeness rules I think are a little more clear, because you need to leave enough room for someone to open their car door, ideally without anyone dinging anyone. But front and rear? There really aren’t established rules.
In parallel parking along a street, especially in a crowded city, things tend to get very tight, which can make exiting the spot a challenge, or, for people who are okay with the practice, sometimes a touch method is just used, letting bumpers bump and grind with the ruthless abandon of crabgrass.
But in a parking lot? In a parking lot, I think you simply shouldn’t park like this. Even without contact, it just makes everything feel wrong and unsettled and precarious, and why would anyone want that? You wouldn’t, that’s why!
So what’s your rule? Is parking as close as Dr. GMC Acadia did to my Pao okay? Is anything good as long as there’s no touching? Or are there standards and rules for parking life?
Personally, I think you need to at least keep the extremities of your car within the bounding lines. If the ass hangs out a bit into the main lanes, well, okay, but everything else? Stay in the lines.
What do we think? Tell me, dammit!
It’s a difficult thing. In theory, especially in a parking lot like your scenario, super close should be fine. In practice, that would leave me wondering “did they ever make contact? They might have…” if I saw it later, and then I’d be checking for damage.
Not to mention, if you forcefully slam the trunk, hood, a door, jump in too forcefully, etc., if that makes it shake, say, 1-2 cm forward or backward to touch your car…
Again, not a lot of damage that way in particular. But still “feels” bad even if it isn’t actually bad.
“Close” only counts with nuclear bombs. And hand grenades.
Magnetic baseball too.
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, I believe.
according to the great philosopher (according to him), my dad. You are correct
Maybe I have too much hope for the human race, but I want to believe that a passenger helped the GMC driver park as closely as possible to the Pao so the rear of the GMC did not protrude too much.
I endorse that scenario.
And I am very sensitive to this. The first car I bought in somewhat decent shape, got a scratch the very first day I drove it, when another driver parked bumper to bumper. The guy was even inside his car when I arrived, chatting on his cellphone without a care in the world.
Within lines and if lateral space is tight, I split it to the car on each side or leave more space for the car with the driver door adjacent to me. Hell, I leave extra space at home centers and grocery stores if I have to park behind someone so they can load their stuff. Usually, though, I find a place that abuts an island or something away from people and hug that. Park far enough and even the jokers who feel the need to park right next to you in the middle of nowhere don’t bother to do so. After over $3k in damage from a hit and run in a mall (a dent in the fender, but that Mazda3 was made out of papier mache), I’ve declined stopping if I don’t like the parking.
TBH, this one wouldn’t bother me. No harm, no foul. That said, the Mr. Orderly within me says that you always park within the lines.
I came out of the grocery store the other day to watch an F150 park 8 inches from the side of my Nova, which is clearly a nice original car with nice shiny new paint, it looks good and cared for to anyone, not just car people. Then my kid flug my door open, thankfully it bounced off the huge truck tire. In my younger days I probably would have kicked a dent in the truck, but I’ve mellowed with age.
No touch. No problem. In terms of damage a millimeter is as good as a mile.
There are 2 solutions for this problem. Take Uber to the airport or park far away from the bus stop. Everyone parks as close as they can to the bus stop and not out in the hinterlands.
If I drive to the airport, I use one of the 3rd party lots that have a shuttle bus that drives to your car and picks you up, no need to lug your luggage to a central stop. Plus, the bus driver hands you a ticket with your parking spot number on it so you don’t have to wander around the lot looking for your car. This lot also has the concrete stops at the end of the space to prevent the nose-to-nose action Jason experienced. I guess if two long bed trucks both backed into such spaces they would reach far enough for a little bumper-on-bumper action.
I feel that this is a form of passive/aggressive parking, and I bet that there is some urine from the owner of the GMC on your Pao.
What a Fuc*ed up world that we live in.
I like to leave enough space so either party can get between the cars and raise their hood if need be, although when I truly anticipate needing to get under the hood before I can leave, I tend to back into the space. Still, that’s too close.
Minimum distance is enough room to sidle between cars. Anything beyond is an egregious violation of all that is right and good.
That’s the rule.
Excellent use of “sidle”. Also the correct answer.
Thanks! All that Zelda practice finally paid off!
So it is sayeth, so it shall be. Thy Shaft hath spoken!
Exactly right! You should not have to sklathe across your hood because some truck bro parked too close to the nose of your car.
Seems like the GMC driver may have not been able to see your car over the 6 foot tall hood those cars have. If only there was another form of car that was still very long and wide but had a lower hood line and generally lower belt lines, preferably wrapped in beautiful fake wood vinyl. I digress…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwEZRPkAAu8
I’m with you – at the very least, outside any lines and it’s wrong b/c it generates negative externalities for others.
My apartment has a parking garage, and this is a fairly constant problem. A lackadaisical (I’m being generous) parking job may mean nobody else can use the adjacent spot.
And before anyone goes there (as I do in my darker moments), a current-gen F-150-sized pickup will fit just fine IF the driver takes their time and parks it right.
So yeah, I have a set of favorite spots on the ends of rows or (my secret) up against the walls and columns that seem to freak others out but I love b/c limited exposure to other people.
I always love the full size quad cab trucks in the garage that have the big hitch sticking out into the traffic aisle so can’t have two way traffic without ripping a seam down your car.
I agree with Mechjaz – someone should be able to pass between the vehicles, especially a skinny little kid.
When I was rather young, maybe 12 or so, I was walking between cars back to the old man’s Chevette in a K-mart parking lot and came across a situation like this. The vehicles were an 80’s something or other, and a big ‘ol late seventies Lincoln Town Car in near-shitbox condition hanging way over the line much like the heavy-Chevy trying to give Torch’s Pao a smooch up there. I was pretty athletic back then and took one step on the Lincolns bumper and propelled myself over to the other side, nice and clean. Got to the Chevette, turned on the radio and waited for my dad.
Suddenly, this big ass old dude appears out of nowhere yelling at me that he owned that Lincoln, was sitting in it when I pulled my little parkour stunt, and if he ever saw me again he’d kick my ass… To The Moon. I was kind of a smart-ass back then, and had endured an ass-kicking or two, but never one that actually placed my hind-quarters in orbit, so I decided to just sit there and shut up.
Moral of the story: Look before you leap!
In a parking lot it’s pretty black and white: If someone crosses the parking line, they’re in the wrong. If you want a certain amount of space, then park that amount of space from the line on your side so that even if someone parks right on the line you’re still good.
In this specific case, the judge (me) finds the GMC driver guilty and sentences him/her to 2 hours of listening to Torch tell stories about the history of tail lights.
That doesn’t sound like punishment to me. I’d quite enjoy that.
I pay good money each year to hear Torch tell stories about the history of tail lights. 😛
In Boston if both bumpers are kissing but still attached it’s fine. Don’t go parking your nice car in Harvard Yard.
When parallel parking in Boston, lo those many years ago, we called it parking by braille.
It’s the same asshats who set up practically on top of you at the beach, step in front of you at a concert or immediately lay the seat back on a plane. They have a lousy sense of personal space combined with total disregard.
oh my god yes. and they use your seat as a handle to stand up
You missed the worst one: the people at baggage claim who come in after you but stand between you and the carousel.
Like are these people completely oblivious to the presence of others or does their tiny brain somehow thing “Ah I see a line of people standing ~5-6 feet from the carousel, those fools! Little did they know I’ve discovered it’s possible to stand in that void between the other people and the carousel!”
I work food service, where the only way to order is via kiosks. We’re there to make the food, only. (We don’t have card readers or registers, at all!)
The sheer number of people I watch walk up, see the line at the kiosks, see our counter with “Pick up only” written on it, and still illuminate the world’s dimmest lightbulb over their heads as they jog over to start yelling their order at us through the plexiglass is utterly astounding. Yes, sir, only YOU have figured out the secret way to bypass the lines! You are A GENIUS!
Yes, the idea of hanging back OUT OF THE WAY and waiting until their bag comes by to step in and grab it just doesn’t get through.
Well if they immediately grab a bag and retreat , then fine. Otherwise when my bag arrives it’s a quick “excuse me” lunge for the bag, grab it, do a half spin conserving momentum , and put it on their feet. Then ask if i could move it away from the carrousel because I don’t want to cause congestion.
That’s my move!
Crappy parking at RDU.
I love the giant fuck-you that is all the signs pointing for Economy 4, the cheapest most distant lot, in order to have you drive completely around the airport and almost back onto I-40 before you realize if you had done a quick juke into the lot right off the interstate, you’d have saved yourself an agonizing shame-lap. Once, RDU, but never again.
This kind of thing drives me nuts. I agree, I would definitely get back in my car and adjust it a bit. Whenever I park in public, I make a quick survey of the job I’d done. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I don’t want to be the asshole, like this guy in the GMC.
A HS buddy of mine had an early 70’s Datsun 1200 that a previous owner had replaced the original front and back bumpers with massive, welded on I beams.
When one day he found himself boxed in he used the full fury of that Datsun’s < 58 hp and whatever traction those smoking, bald, bias ply tires would give to open up enough space to leave.
Friend working construction in Boston had the same done to his tiny Toyota pickup: a welder added rusty I beams for bumpers.
A reasonably sized person should be able to pass between vehicles end to end, even if crabwise scooching is required. You might need to jump your car, or the other person might, or you might just want to walk that way. That’s your prerogative; this is a shared space.
I’d guess there are probably 500, maybe 1000 people alive that know their car to the inch like this, so the Acadia was in the wrong in every way; there’s no way their vehicular proprioception is this good, so they got lucky not hitting the Pao, and besides that they’re over the damned line into your space.
This person is also within normal rocking or settling distances wrt going into or out of gear, setting or unsetting the parking brake, etc. One good pelvic thrust to get your luggage in back and it’s game over.
Great word! proprioception
noun PHYSIOLOGY
perception or awareness of the position and movement of the body. “exercises to improve balance and proprioception”
Said to pig parker, “You’ve got some shit proprioception, dude! You probably can’t color inside the lines either. And your mom dresses you funny.”
The GMC driver clearly didn’t see your Pao at all when parking – You’re lucky they didn’t pull all the way through.
This brings me to my associated pet-peeve: People who pull up too close at a red light.
WTF is up with that?
In my manual vehicles I make a habit of rolling back a bit on an uphill as someone is coming up just to keep them right off my bumper
I do this, too.
The real fun starts when they clearly notice, wait a few seconds at a dead stop, then move in to give my poor Beetle a rectal exam.
I doubt there’s enough mass in my car to really hurt theirs if I were to ever biff accelerating, at the green, but man.
Heck – My automatic Mercedes will roll back on a hill unless I two-foot it.
I hope you don’t stop and leave 2 car lengths between you and the car in front of you. That grinds my gears.
I may occasionally leave a car length ahead of me as I do a slow roll rather than come to a complete stop when I know the timing of that specific red light.
But what if I do? It’s not adding any time to where you’re going – because I can use that space to roll forward when the light turns green while the person ahead decides to finally get off their damned phone and drive.
This is the correct approach.
Also… do we all need to keep inching forward for no reason when the light hasn’t changed?
I often find the gap between my car and the car in front of me widening with the time spent at a light.
Starts at half a car length on red, ends with two car lengths by the time it’s green because maniacs be creepin.
I’m just chillin waiting for actual changes in traffic conditions before moving.
You’re right – stopping, then rolling forward and stopping again – is a great way to get excess wear on your clutches and brakes, and use more fuel than if you were to just sit there and wait.
“ Also… do we all need to keep inching forward for no reason when the light hasn’t changed?”
Only if the NPR reception is dead in that exact spot and Science Friday is on.
Yes, Radio reception is only valid excuse I can think of for this move.
Or you’re in a convertible on a hot sunny day and the shade is just up there…
I’ll accept that one.
Damn right! Or Food Friday, also a fun show in our area.
Sorry, that’s my wife…. sometimes I’m surprised she isn’t in the middle of the intersection by the time light changes. We did used to have some signals on side streets that if you stopped and then creep forward a foot or so, the light would cycle to let you out. Now everything is on master timer system.
The ones that leave a huge space and then creep into that space irritate me. Pull up and stop then go when the light changes. When they roll ahead and stop again, I just sit there and then start out the same time as they do (kinda like an F1 start or when a marching group step off).
This bothers me as well. Generally, it doesn’t really matter all that much, but in thick traffic with short distances between lights, it means that someone back a few cars is stuck at a light that they didn’t need to be stuck at. In my perfect world, everyone would just roll up to a couple of feet off of the car in front of them, stop, and then pay attention to the light rather than screw around on their phones.
For sure. I remain aware as I sit two car lengths back.
If I’m blocking access to a turning lane by not moving forward or something like that it’s a different story.
I have pulled into the space left in an adjacent lane when some dork leaves 30’ between their car and the one in front of them.
One thing that stuck with me from driver’s ed is that you should always be able to see the pavement between the top of your hood and the bottom of their tires. I’ve like that rule really well.
Conversely, when someone gets so close to me their headlights disappear below my tailgate, or on the bike I can’t see at least left 50% + right 50% of a grille, it freaks me the hell out. One bump on *their* ass and I’m the middle of a shit sandwich.
“So I’ve gotta sit six car lengths back in my 2020 Silverado?”
Or you could trade in your BroDozer and drive a real car.
You know exactly how they parked this close. They touched your bumper, then backed up a bit.
Yeah too close. Seems like it could have a bullying aspect, that hulking GMC vs cute little Pao. I came here just to see if we’d hear from you today. I hope you’ll be on the mend. BTW, I learned the other day that my car-addled brother didn’t know what a Pao was, so I set him straight.
Pao is diced chicken.
https://frayedpassport.com/the-delicious-history-of-kung-pao-chicken/#:~:text=If%20we%20put%20%E5%AE%AB%E4%BF%9D,%E2%80%9Cpalace%20guardian%20diced%20chicken.%E2%80%9D
Who you calling chicken?