“Could you change into some khakis or something else, please?”
This is a statement that I get from my Mom as we head out the door to some event that she might see as “formal” and “they might take pictures.” She isn’t pleased with the fact that I’m wearing Levi’s. It doesn’t matter that they’re dark jeans that will be more than fine, nor does it matter that I’m wearing a suit jacket, and it absolutely doesn’t matter that I’m over fifty, married, and have kids. You’re not embarrassing the family (read: her) at this stupid thing, dammit.
Car companies are no different.
There are plenty of instances where proletarian examples of automobiles are mildly dressed up to (fingers crossed) credibly wear the badges of a higher-tier brand. There are notorious cases of this gambit not remotely working (see the infamous Cadillac Cimmaron), but it’s palatable to consumers even if it’s not exactly fooling anyone – kind of like me in a pair of unironed khakis. Vanilla-model fancification to achieve suitable brand cred is still being done today, and for today’s wheeled what-if, we’ll resurrect a famously gussied-up FoMoCo coupe to make a fresh model competitive with a new and much-hyped EV on the scene.
Even Mellencamp Dropped The Cougar
The Mustang has always been the fun, free-spirited compact that attracted younger (or young at heart) people to Ford dealerships. After the runaway success of the Mustang’s 1964 introduction, the other divisions of the Blue Oval wanted in on the action. In the same way that my Mom frowns on me wearing jeans, no matter how dark or well-ironed, to a restaurant that requires reservations, you can’t just drive a ‘Stang onto the showroom floor of a Lincoln Mercury dealership. You can’t seat a greasy kid like Mustang next to Uncle Lincoln at the table; you need to dress it up at least a little.
To make the new-for-1967 Mercury Cougar, Ford kept the basic shape of the Mustang but removed the side “scoops” of the quarter panels and capped off the front end with dramatic full-width chrome-ribbed “electric razor” grille complete with concealed headlamps. In back, the “razor” look repeated with a full-width taillight that included the first use of sequential turn signals (via a mechanical distributor, incredibly). Inside, the dashboard attempted to mimic the wood-plank-with-Smiths-gauges look of European touring cars. The end result was rather brilliant and achieved a more upscale aesthetic without being fussy or stodgy.
Mercury even offered the sport/performance-oriented XR7 package to create a less-luxury-oriented Cougar; the “iron fist in a velvet glove” approach was an attempt at an “import-style GT” rather than a muscle car. The XR7 treatment was a rather superficial way of dressing up an old Falcon chassis and to make two cars that were virtually identical under the skin appear to be wholly different models – but it worked.
James Bond fans know that a Cougar is not only good enough to grace a Lincoln Mercury dealership, but completely acceptable to a Countess. The late, great Diana Rigg’s character in the Bond Outing On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was a crime syndicate head’s daughter with a troubled past who drove not a Maserati, not a Jaguar, but a red 1969 Cougar XR7 convertible – one of only 127 made with the Cobra Jet 429 under the hood scoop, in fact. Incongruous and enigmatic as it might have seemed driving through Europe, it certainly looked damn cool and seemed to fit the part far better than something of such humble origins should.
As with the Mustang, the Malaise era was not kind to the Cougar. In 1974, when the Mustang became the shrunken much-lambasted Pinto-based Mustang II, the Cougar name shifted to a version of the “mid sized” (but even bigger) Mercury Montego (a twin to the Ford Torino, the same model you’ll recall from Starsky and Hutch). That wasn’t the final insult. Later in the decade, when the Mercury Montego moniker was dropped, the Cougar name was slapped onto sedans and a station wagon. And no, it was not a cool station wagon.
The boxy Fox-based 1980-82 Cougar that followed was no better; this time, Mercury offered a Cougar-badged Ford Fairmont sedan and wagon as well. Sadly, when Ford finally redeemed the T-Bird and introduced arguably the best examples ever (the 1983 “Aero” and 1989 “Super” birds) the Cougar versions received curious, upright rooflines that ruined the lovely shape of those nice designs.
The final appearance of the Cougar name was on a rather decent-looking and reasonably competitive front-wheel-drive model that was unfortunately released just as the Great Coupe Purge of the turn of the century arose. The Cougar didn’t really stand a chance with that market segment dying.
Since we’re scraping the barrel for any nostalgia cars these days, it’s a shame that the original Cougar couldn’t see a second life – but I think I have a way for that to happen.
A Mustang Rigged (Get It?)
Ford has done the sneaky marketing move of creating an EV Mustang that really isn’t an EV Mustang. By making a crossover with the name Mustang Mach-E, Ford has simultaneously tapped into the Mustang’s name recognition and avoided at least 80 percent of the weeping and gnashing of teeth from pony car enthusiasts. It doesn’t hurt that the Mach-E is a strong, nicely-priced product, either. Ah, but now we have the new Dodge Charger, available as both a high-powered EV and a gasoline-burning machine in a reputation-be-damned bold move to bring an electric muscle car (not a muscle-crossover, but an honest-to-gosh muscle car) to market.
Ford can pretend that they didn’t see that and go about their business, but this is America: we can’t let a pony car war go unfought, can we? Here’s where the Blue Oval can get tricky. In the same way that Ford does with the Mach-E, they can sell a Mustang that isn’t a Mustang. This time, though, the Mustang substitute I’m suggesting will be an actual Mustang, just disguised as something else to not violate the sanctity of the sixty-year-old name. Enter the Cougar EVR-7.
Admittedly, the current Mustang was likely not designed in any way shape or form to be converted to an all-electric machine, but that’s not to say it couldn’t be done. Batteries and motors could take the space freed up by the dispatched engine and transmission, and the driveshaft tunnel could also be put to use as there’s no need for a driveshaft with front and rear motors spinning each pair of wheels.
The Cougar was never offered as a fastback, so the Mustang’s fastback look isn’t a candidate. But there certainly was a convertible Cougar. If money and time permit – and as this is all fantasy, they will – I’d make a notchback roof. But if engineering constraints raise their ugly head – which I cannot ignore, fantasy or not – I would simply do a bolt-on hardtop for winter months to capture the look of the original.
The “electric razor” fascia wasn’t working for me, so I went with an homage to the later 1969-70 car and added hexagon-pattern grilles. Retractable headlight covers would likely be needed, as on the latest Volvo SUVs. The Mustang’s vestigial “side scoop” is replaced by the Cougar’s sweeping character line recess. I removed the raised areas on the current Mustang fenders to flatten it out and make the look closer to that of the original car.
In back, a full-width taillight is essential – don’t even ask if it has sequential turn signals. How could it not? If there’s an array of LEDs behind that lens we could even make it spell out C O U G A R on startup.
The Sign Of The Cat, Or Charging Block
The big quandary I ended up having with this thing was wondering if this electric cat (hmmm, ElectriCat …) should be called the “Ford Cougar” or “Ford EVR-7.” Mercury advertisements way back in the day told you to come to “The Sign of the Cat,” and readers of a certain age will no doubt recall the feline’s signature snarl. (Not related to our EV fantasy but fun to watch: this video of cougar wranglers making like Seigfreid and Roy as the big kitties flounce around nightmare malaise cars:)
The Cougar was really Mercury’s flagship car, and it seems a bit sad to use the name with the Ford brand. I raised the question to Jason, and he had another idea: what if the Mercury name came back as an all-EV brand?
That’s not as strange of a concept as it first sounds. When you think of many if not most of the electric cars available today, they’re all rather expensive and upscale. Tesla buyers will cross-shop the likes of Rivian, and it’s more difficult when you go to a dealership that mixes electric and ICE offerings. Worse than that, based on my disappointing experiences at Ford dealerships, the proprietors don’t always have it together in terms of positive customer experience. Service and support at Lincoln/Mercury dealers, however, was nearly equal to the deluxe treatment Lexus offers – even when I rolled up in my crappy old Town Car. Assuming they haven’t changed much from back then, you’d be happy to buy an upscale electric car in that environment.
The reborn Mercury would have more electric offerings than just the Cougar, of course; they could even do versions of the expanded Mustang Mach-E lineup as I suggested a while back, renamed Torino. Or perhaps they could be sold as Mercury Montegos, or even Maruders? Who knows.
It’s Electric, Boogie Woogie Woogie
Numerous American car brands were laid to rest in the early 2000s, but some (see Hummer) are coming back, and perhaps the battery power will reactivate the brand power of more lost nameplates in the years ahead. The EV market is a tricky one, and automakers need to understand success in the segment requires rethinking not only the products but how and where they’re sold. Mercury returning to the polished floors of Lincoln dealerships, revived and refreshed with electric power, seems a fitting way for Ford to grow its business in the challenging EV market. Besides, we’ve basically run out of cars for Mercury Mondays, and now I’m having to fabricate them. Isn’t that pathetic?
Calling a crossover a mustang is a much worse insult than making an EV muscle car. The can have Mach-E, but it should just be “Ford Mach-E” It can even keep the taillights, but it doesn’t deserve the pony
And honestly the nameplate should just die when they can’t make it ICE anymore. Same with the charger and camaro. They exist to make big V-8 noises. Call your electric sports car something else.
I like it! Great job!
I honestly think the styling of the last cougar was rather unique and still looks good.
Maybe a Capri??
That nee Cougar looks a million times better than the new Mustang…Ford make it….and I am not some Boomer, I am 29….and have owned both a 2014 and a 2000 Mustang…..in that order….but please offer a gasoline powered version with a manual transmission, not interested if it does not have both of those.
My god I had not seen your ‘e-Torino’ photoshop before. I’m going to have nightmares in my sleep now.
Full disclosure: as a kid there was a Torino GT with that face down the block and I would cross the street so I didn’t have to ride next to it on my tricycle. The curve to the grille on the photoshop makes it worse, as if it’s relishing the thought of killing you.
Or…hear me out here: they could finally make an electric Mustang.
(The Mach-E—a car we all just call “Mach-E” anyway!—isn’t it.)
Plus, it’s not available as a stick, so if you got a brown one it would be a Caramel MachEAuto.
Did love my Cougars, though. The cars, not the old women that tried stuff….did they not se the flag???
Are you kidding? It was the 70’s.
“Cougars” were the customer base for these cars just like antisocial jerk attention-whore manchild is the core market for Dodge Chargers today.
Love it. Remember when the now departed Camaro made a come back and folks were proposing Pontic Trans Am versions based off of it? I have always loved Cougars. Had a 74, 77, 78, 79, 81, 84, 86, 1990, 1993, 97, and 2000 model at one time or another in my life. Loved every last one of them. My car friend’s would say I must love the kitty cat, and then I would whip out my pride flag…….
That’s an incredible list of cars! To think that the target market for each of those was so different and yet you stayed loyal to the brand!
I thought that flag also ment “maybe, sometimes” too.
“Even Mellencamp Dropped The Cougar”
I liked him better before he dropped the Cougar from his name.
My SIL called him “John Cougar Menstrual Cramp.”
Indeed, I far preferred his earlier stuff to the post Farm Aid material, misogynistic as it might be.
This is sort of a logical extension of Ford’s desperate attempts to reorient the Mercury brand in the 2000s – first they tried to reposition it to appeal to women, with a specific focus on professional, career-types; then they proposed using it as an outlet to sell European Fords in North America (which died with the One Ford concept); then, the last proposal, right before the brand was axed, was to turn Mercury into an all-hybrid brand, selling vaguely upscale eco-cars. Had that last proposal been implemented, an EV Cougar would have been the logical next step 10-15 years later.
My long-gone mullet threatened to re-sprout when I saw the Torino Sport Coupe 🙂
You’ve presented a good argument, and I quite like the renders. I’d say I would buy one, but, let’s be honest; it wouldn’t be until it was 10 years old and on its 3rd owner
Ah yes, the ThunderCougarFalconBird.
You have my attention.
If they made a Mercury version of the F-150 Lightning would it be the ThunderCat?
It would have to only be available in Canada.
Heeey Bishop, great work here….also you should check out my comment on Thomas’ article about the Fiata and maybe do an Alfa Romeo version of the ND/Fiata. K, thanks bye!!
I’ll take a look- makes more sense than trying to build a Spyder out of a Dodge Hornet or something that I’m quite afraid they might actually end up doing.
If Hemmels can convert Pagoda SLs to electric, if the SLShop and Monceau can convert R107’s to electric – and Maserati can convert the Gran Cabrio to EV – then Ford can surely convert the Mustang platform to electric.
Bear in mind tho that the Cougars from 1967-70 had @2″ longer wheelbases than the concurrent Mustangs – I don’t recall if the 71-73 Cougars rode on longer wheelbases too.
There were actually 3 identical XR7 Ram-Air CobraJet Cougars ordered up from Dearborn and shipped to Europe for the Bond film. Two of which were completely demolished, tho I believe I read that one of those was restored?
It would not be that difficult to weld a notchback steel roof onto to the convertible body, and trim it out appropriately. I seem to recall that Bentley essentially did that to create the Brooklands from the Azure.
I’d much prefer the razor grille tho – and a much revised interior, with wood (“The Original Carbon Fiber”) and leather/plastics/carpets that are actually of a color or two.
And I’d make the Cougar a Lincoln.
Urban Runabout- the Bond XR7 you refer to as being restored is the one in the pictures shown in the post. It sold on Bonhams a little while ago.
I had the feeling that it was that one.
Isn’t there another one in a museum collection someplace in Europe?
Not that I don’t like this, I do like it! But an alternative would be to make the Mercury version of the Mach-e the Cougar and call the EV Mustang coupe a Capri. Then use either the 70’s Euro Capri or the Fox-based mid 80’s Capri as the design inspiration.
That’s a great idea!
Always loved the Capri!
I like your vector vicar, er sorry- Bishop (maybe-Your Vectorness?).
The gauntlet has clearly been thrown, and must not be ignored!
Indeed- what’s the point of one electric muscle car if there’s no competitor for it to battle?
We need more electric convertibles!
Supposedly there’s more in the pipeline, but it’s incredible to me that it’s taken so long for anyone to offer them. The Mini is apparently the first and they only made 999 units (and none for the US)
I looked into buying one and importing it. Sadly federalization is stupid, literally the drivetrain is US approved, and the convertible chassis is US approved, and replacing the various lighting bits with US approved ones is cheap and easy, but that’s not enough to federalize it.
I could have still used it under show and display, but you’re limited to like 1000 miles a year, which I would have easily gone over,
As soon as the Model S dropped, I started hoping Ford would answer with a full size convertible EV called Galaxie.
I’ve had a similar thought for a while but I am quite artistically challenged so these renders are amazing to me! Cougar should have been a four-door Mustang and test bed for new technologies (3.5 EB instead of a v8 for example). If Ford was smart they’d make a coupe, convertible AND sedan to rival the new Charger and the public would eat it up
I believe I commented year ago on this site that the Lincoln name should be abandoned as dead presidents (or live presidents, or any politician for that matter) are no longer looked upon as positive role models in society or aspirational figures, particularly for the younger generation. (I hasten to add I am not in any way sullying the great Abraham Lincoln but times have changed.) Ford has a wonderful name from the past that they have used off and on over the decades for various models on several continents (again, as mentioned previously) that would be an ideal substitute for Lincoln or a full EV offshoot as suggested in this article and that brand could be FUTURA.
Ford lost the rights to use Futura, after they stopped using the name Pep Boys started using it for tires. Ford sued and lost.
Yes, and I see they lost that right in the USA twenty years ago. Futura was used in Australia until 2008. I am humbled. Apparently I don’t get out much.
I’m so old that when I hear the word FUTURE I think about those shows discussing what the world would be like by THE YEAR 2000!!!
Aah Bishop I have to say this is my favorite idea of all the ones you have submitted. Of course I always preferred the Cougar to the mustang. I didn’t see it mentioned but I hope you kept the taillights, those traveling blinkers were great with the flip up headlights. I suggest calling it the Mercury Cougar under the Ford brand. Use the Roman God Mercury as a spokes icon. The most clever of the Olympian Gods, he was the winged messenger of the gods, he ruled over wealth, commerce, good fortune, fertility and trickery
I see Joe Isuzu in a toga traveling on and throwing lightening bolts. You design leave the marketing to me.
As long as it does not also mimic the new Charger’s FIVE THOUSAND, EIGHT HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT POUND curb weight, I approve of this concept!
As soon as I saw Torino, I was hoping for the Starsky and Hutch paint.
The Bishop delivers.
Sadly, probably too tall and short of a hood for one to slide across, but more room inside for Huggy Bear.
“…the first use of sequential turn signals…”
I thought the 1964-66 Thunderbird used them.
I stand corrected- you’re right!
Small caveat: the sequential signal lights were developed for the ‘64 T-Bird, but were actually introduced on the ‘65 because Ford had to wait until all 50 states approved this innovation before they sent it out into the world.
Yeah comparing apple seeds to my moms apple dumplings. My mom’s dumplings and the Cougars taillights were far superior.