I currently have a Volvo XC90 sitting in my driveway, and I honestly haven’t had a chance to drive it that much just yet. This morning, thanks to a chronic bus driver shortage that so far my state has not resorted to solving with a bunch of deadbeat teenagers like they did years ago, I had to drive the kid to school. I used this errand as a chance to try out this big, new, boldly-modern mild hybrid Volvo SUV, and while doing so I learned about one of the smallest and yet possibly most useful features of this and a few other modern automobiles: a little nag to tell you to get your ass in gear when you’re at a stoplight or something and haven’t noticed that it’s time to move. Is this another example of AI taking jobs? Is the car taking the job of the impatient dickhead behind you who lays on the horn 0.74 seconds after the light goes green?
Granted, the warning doesn’t ask, loudly, if that light is green enough for you, or helpfully inquires what your fucking problem is, or even query you regarding what specific clown college or university you learned to drive at, like a human driver behind you might, but rather just dings a little chime and gives you this gentle cajoling:
“Ready to drive?” it asks, knowing damn well you should be ready, but for whatever inane reason, aren’t. I saw my first one of these messages at a stoplight when I checked the buzzing of Slack to see that David was livid at my misuse of the subjunctive mood or I dangled a participle or misused a semi-delamorphic contraction subclause or some shit like that. As I was trying to figure out what diphthong I misplaced, the light turned green, the car in front of me drove off and before the person behind me could smack palm to horn button, the Volvo awoke me from my ill-advised reverie with a chime and a message, snapping me back to reality — a reality that required me to get my ass in gear and drive.
Volvo isn’t the only company to implement a feature like this; Hyundai-Kia has offered a hey, get moving alert for a while, calling it “Leading Vehicle Departure Alert”:
One thing worth noting about Kia/Hyundai’s system and Volvo’s is that it seems to work based on checking the car in front of yours. From Volvo’s description of the alert, which uses the front radar that’s there primarily as part of Adaptive Cruise Control:
The car’s system can help the driver to notice that the vehicle ahead is continuing to drive. In order not to be stationary for too long and hold up the traffic, the Ready to drive notification function gives an acoustic signal and shows a symbol and message in the driver’s display.
Years ago, I was in Morocco working on a project. Typical Moroccan driver behaviour is to hit the horn the second the light turns green.
I was visiting Tangiers and I was probably 7 or 8 back from the light. There was a bus behind me. The bus hit the horn the second the light turned green. That was most aggressive I ever saw.
We used to joke that we could cause an accident at any red light by simply honking and people would start to cross without even looking.
The passive-aggressive tone of “are you ready to drive?” is hilarious and very Swedish in a way.
It’d be even better if you could customize it. I’d have Samuel L. Jackson’s voice nudge me to get up and go.
I live on a dead end road with 14 houses on it, I live in the corner next to the main road (it’s a very quiet road, maybe 30 cars an hour at peak times), and the furthest house from me is maybe 150 feet away.
Every morning at least three of my neighbours will leave their house, drive less than 150 feet to the T junction, stop to check their phone, and stay there until someone behind them hits the horn. I can see into their cars from my office, they don’t even check for traffic, they just stop and look at there phone, sometimes for minutes, unless someone behind them gets impatient.
I would pay a stupid amount of money to have a Wanda Sykes recording smack talk me for sitting at a green. Make it a good selection randomly shuffled… I’d be too busy laughing for my feelings to get hurt.
Cool feature. Should be no problem, then, to develop an “Are you ready to move out of the left lane now that six fist-shaking, middle finger waving people have passed you on the right?” feature.
I want to laugh but this will actually come in handy!
Too many folks screwing around at the lights with the phone. Never had this reminder feature to deal with. Don’t like it. Shit or get off the pot when the light is green. It’s not hard people.What is tough is realizing how many people we are forced to be around at any rate of speed that are mentally deficient on a basic level. It is just a shit show most of the time out there.
A “rate of speed” isn’t a thing. It’s cop language to sound important.
If anything a rate of speed would be acceleration, not speed.
I’m often mystified by this. Light turns green. Each car in line is completely and independently surprised and confused about what just happened and what they are supposed to do next.
Light turns green.
1-2 seconds… 1st car goes
1-2 seconds… 2nd car goes.
1-2 seconds… 3rd car goes.
Etc.
People act like there’s no correlation between the light turning green, and what’s about to happen; even when they’re not the first car in line.
I sit there thinking, “You know, we can actually all just start moving at once. I see it work almost weekly in standing starts at races I watch.”
But then the average person isn’t a race car driver so it probably wouldn’t actually work in practice. But it’s theoretically possible. Which is why I start moving when the person in front of me does.
The two higher-end rental Toyota Yaris I had in Japan this past winter both had this feature! It’s super handy, especially when traffic lights in the boonies could be 2 minutes in each direction.
I’m glad, I think, that it doesn’t work for the first person at the light. If you’re not paying attention to the light, you absolutely shouldn’t hit the accelerator as soon as it turns. There could be a late car, a pedestrian, an ambulance.
There’s been a couple times when driving a manual has saved my ass, or at least my car’s nose, when someone runs a red while I’m pushing in the clutch and putting it in first.
This would be brilliant for the dude (with his phone held up visibly in his right hand) in front of me who camps in the left lane while the train pulls away (dude, you’re right lane material).
I always thought mounting a couple M50s capable of shooting the car of the inconsiderate jerk goofing around on his/her phone instead of paying attention to driving the 2 ton death machine he is in charge of would be ideal. But I guess the quiet reminder is a kindler gentler method that also keeps us all getting along. However if you do the same thing at the next light i am going to the army/navy surplus store Jason.
“I always thought mounting a couple M50s capable of shooting the car of the inconsiderate jerk goofing around on his/her phone instead of paying attention to driving the 2 ton death machine he is in charge of would be ideal.”
So turning a very temporarily immobile obstacle into a permanently immobile obstacle is ideal?
That’s why my wife and I fantasize about having a missile launcher.
I want a shaped charge on a skateboard flat RC so it flips the offending vehicle off the road.
This is why we need a disintegrator ray.
But he wont do it again
My Elantra has this. It’s more useful in drive-thrus for me. Though, at times, it tends to beep when the car has just made the corner and not actually moved that much. It’s just no longer directly in front of the camera.
This reminds me of the people around me that come to a complete stop at speed humps (designed to roll over at 30KPH) and then creep over so as not to spill their lattes, then roll through stop signs. Also so as not to spill their lattes by stopping for others.
Vehicles are just isolating people from the outside word too much for any situational awareness, or driver responsibility to happen.
Hey! Some of us haven’t gotten around to replacing our 2 decade worn out shocks on our BMWs yet…
Instead of FSD = Full Self Driving, Volvo has FDS = Forgiving Dope Slap.
GREEN MEANS GOOOOOO!!!
IT’S THE LONG PEDAL!! ON THE RIGHT!!
Hi, my name is StillNotATony.
I may have a problem…
ARE YOU HOLDING OUT FOR SEAFOAM!?!
THE TALL SKINNY ONE!!!
moOOOOOOVE!
YOU WAITING FOR THE STARTERS PISTOL?? HOLD UP, IT’S AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE…
(Luda lyrics)
“WHAT’S THE MATTER, BUDDY, DON’T LIKE THAT SHADE OF GREEN?” – Interrobang’s Grandma
I start getting irritated at around 400 milliseconds. I force myself to wait until at least 1200. In my head at all 4-way stops:
Stop then go
Stop then go
It isn’t frickin’ hard, just stop then go
Stop then go
Stop then go
Look left an’ right as you stop! Then. GO!
my 2019 Subaru with Eyesight Drive Assist has this feature.
My 2016 Subaru Legacy had that feature, too, and it was awesome.
I would like to not only see this expanded to being the first car when the light changes, but also to question those that stop on green.
I have had that happen twice in the last week. Unfortunately, the age of both drivers I summarily passed was charitably described as “advanced,” so I’m not sure a polite chime would help.
That’s a whole nother level of hell.Who the **** stops at a green light??
My mother in law has stopped behind parked cars, thinking they are waiting in a turn lane. We, don’t let her drive our kids around anymore.
A cute chime isn’t going to do jack-shit if the moron behind the wheel is embedded in their phone. What you need is an angry New Yorker with a Brooklyn-Italian accent yelling at you. With insults galore and 300 ways to drop the F-bomb. ” Hey you fuckin wet-behind-the-ears jackass, move your goddamn car..” A little motivation is all you need…
In this day and age, there really should be more thematic options for warning sounds in cars. From gentle reminder to stern lecture to DEFCON 5.
So your scale peaks at “stern lecture”?
(Might want to brush up on your DEFCON scale.)
Ooops. Been awhile since I watched War Games.
Hey! I’m drivin’ here!
How about a boxing glove on a spring pops out of the dash?
Cartoon style dope slap.
I’d settle for a good ole Bob Odenkirk, “Goddamnit!”
I was thinking an electric shock administered thru the seat might get their attention.
My son’s dash camera has this feature and it drives me nuts. The best part is when he’s parked in the driveway and starts backing up – the camera lets him know the garage is moving….
I’m the guy who sits perfectly still, while the car next to me creeps ahead like a fool, constantly restarting his start-stop abomination, and then the light turns green and I blow him into last week, despite my only having 205 horsepower.
If 205 is qualified as “only”, I’m going to guess you started driving fairly recently. There was a time when that was bragging rights HP in anything but a V8 truck or sports car.
If you’re going to humble brag, remember to incorporate the humble.
My first car had 89 hp. I grew up in the Malaise Era, so most of my cars were weak sauce. My highest-hp car owned was an ’71 Electra with I think 340.
“Only” 205 horsepower.
Oh come on y’all. A Camrey V6 has over 300 horsepower at this point. Just because not everyone came up driving 60 horsepower carburated manual cars uphill both ways doesn’t mean 205 horses is some earth shattering number in 2023. Let’s not get contrarian or delve into more Autopian reverse dick measuring contests to argue of who can make due with the least power lol.
I think it’s cool as hell that enthusiasts of normal financial means can find their way into powerful cars these days. My car has 286 horses and I’m looking to move up to 350-400 in my next ride. You know why? Because I want to and fast cars are fun. Hell my current attainable dream car is a ZL1 Camaro. Mo POWA baby!
Naw, I’m still gonna say that “only” 205 horsepower is dumb. Because even in 2023, my 140hp station wagon is more than fast enough to comfortably keep up with traffic. Making 205 quite sufficient.
If it was a herd of actual horses, would you say, “Yeah, I don’t have that many horses, there’s only 205 in my herd.”
Let’s not get contrarian or delve into more Autopian reverse dick measuring contests to argue of who can make due with the least power lol”
Why not? That sounds like good wholesome Autopian style fun to me.
OK, here’s mine:
From 1974 – 1984 you couldn’t get 200HP in a (new unmodified) Mustang! Kids these days have no idea how good they have it. That’s why we had to learn to wrench! It was probably easier to stuff a cam and valve springs in a 351 with carb intake and headers and cram it into one of the damn bog slow things than to figure out which of the 20 yards if “emissions” tubing was leaking, and …. instant gear head.
maybe in your land of the free and fast and sometimes furious 205hp is not a lot, but here in the old world, majority of new cars are sold with <150 hp… e.g. the Autopian weapons of choice, Dacia various models, gets max 130hp gas engines. I still maintain that 300hp is the sweetspot, but come on – this is sports cars and expensive eletric cars territory (well, actually all cars are expensive in the EU so there’s that).
Yup, not enough to leave the gleaming alloy air-cars stranded at the one-lane bridge.
If it’s an air-car why would it need a bridge?
I have this in my Kona N and it’s rapidly moving towards the “features I don’t want to live without” category, which is inhabited by backup cameras, automated emergency braking, and blind spot monitoring. There’s a lot of modern safety wizardry that I find to be invasive but in a city that’s currently being decimated by crime and filled with some of the most psychotic drivers imaginable (anywhere within striking distance of Maryland fits into this category), the little “move along, buddy” chime is really handy.
Especially after a miserable day at work when I’ve been stuck in traffic for 45 minutes. I don’t exactly have a lot of brainpower to spare at my baseline and at that point in my day I’m essentially operating in monkey mode. That gentle reminder keeps the dude behind me in his 2014 uninsured Altima on a donut spare with temporary tags that expired in 2020 from directing his less than ideal life choices at me.
SAME! My new car has this feature as well, and didn’t know about it until the first time it reminded me to get moving. I think that it’s just one of those situations that happens to all drivers at least a few times….regardless of how good people think they are at driving haha.
Love the feature, and I’m sure it has saved me at least one honk by now.
Yup! This is how I feel about automatic emergency braking too. The furthest along with it I’ve gotten has been it chiming at me to brake (it hasn’t had to try to intervene yet) but boy was I happy to have that chime on a country road a couple of years ago when someone went from 70-0 in about 3 seconds to make a sudden turn onto a dirt driveway while I was trying to do something with Apple Car Play.
I’m confident in my own driving abilities but I also understand that I’m far from perfect and sometimes the little reminders are nice to have. I’d rather deal with a chime than someone laying on the horn behind me.
Do you also have the same commute that I do? haha there is one county road (55 mph limit) that I have to drive down and the number of times that myself and others in front/behind me have to slam on the brakes for someone who didn’t realize they needed to make a turn RIGHT NOW…. the AEB in my Tucson has proved it’s worth in the same situation at least once.
Also… it blows my mind how people (in general) don’t think about “oh there’s my turn/exit…yeah too late to make it now, I should do the right thing and just circle back to it safely”
I will say though, construction zones (and weather) do mess with AEB even if it doesn’t say that the feature is disabled on the dash…
“2014 uninsured Altima on a donut spare with temporary tags that expired in 2020” – You can just say Altima, they’re all like that.
I swear many Dallas drivers sit poised like a rattlesnake, hand on horn, while they stare at the light, waiting for it to turn green.
It’s not a game show buzzer.
I’m sorry I blinked.
One of the things I loved about driving in Italy was the red-yellow-green stoplight sequence. When the yellow came on you could hear the revs rising all around you as drivers prepared to launch. Kept your mind on the “driving” stuff.
That’s how I am by habit of driving diesel Mercedes for 20 years
Germany has the same thing, and I miss it! It makes a lot of sense to give a little warning before the green.
Hmm, I wonder what it will be here in Quebec when the language is set to french?
“Hé, bouges-toi mon colisse de tarbernac!”?
Qu’attendez-vous, une invitation gravée?
If my car had this “feature,” I’d end up replacing the touch screen at some point and probably getting stitches in my hand.
Do you make a habit of not paying attention at stop lights? Unless it is tuned to the horn timing of a NYC cabbie I suspect I would never even notice this.
Or, you could pay attention and drive.