You know how sometimes you get a stupid idea in your head, and you can’t get free of it unless you do something to, you know, purge it? That happened to me last night. There’s different ways to purge these ideas: booze, a vigorous and punishing round of onanism, a 2×4 to the forehead, and so on, but sometimes you have to do something more. Sometimes you have to just draw them damn thing, quickly, and let its inane energy escape the confines of your mind, where it can go on to pollute the internet. And that’s what I did, with this ridiculous idea about a Ford V10 sports car based on the Econoline!
Here’s what the thinking was, in more detail: it’s the year 1991. Ford’s industrial spies have learned that Chrysler is planning to release a radical new roadster based on a V10 engine, with dramatic proportions – the car we’d come to know as the Dodge Viper. As you know, Bob Lutz was in charge of Chrysler/Dodge when the Viper was born, and was in a large way his baby. At the time, Ford was headed by Harold Arthur “Red” Poling, who considered Lutz to be his rival.
Poling – who was a former Navy fighter pilot while Lutz was a former Marine fighter pilot, causing many to use dogfight metaphors in their interactions – decided that there was no way Lutz was going to beat Ford to market with a V10-powered roadster. So, he gave his engineers a directive from on high: make a two-seat V10-powered roadster before Lutz’ V10 roadster could hit the market.
Now, Ford’s engineers had almost no time to pull this off – using the Mustang as a starting point would have made sense, but there was no V10 designed to fit in it, and that was the key requirement. The only V10 in development (and I’m taking a few liberties with the timeline here) was the Triton V10 designed for the Econoline series of vans.
So, desperate, Ford’s engineers had to work with what they had: the Econoline. It already was being designed to use this new V10 engine, so Ford sequestered a bunch of engineers and designers in a rented house in Saginaw and had them come up with a V10 Econoline-based roadster in, let’s say, two weeks. And this was the result:
The Triton V10! They just named it after the engine, because, screw it, Triton is a good name. They had no time to design a new roadster body, so they just cut down an Econoline cargo van, threw in some better seats from the Mustang, gave it a manual five-speed, some headers (5 pipes per side, hot but reinforced to act as a step, at least) and a removable roof panel.
The rear of the van was fully carpeted and sealed with a plastic cover, making a colossal trunk area that could be accessed from cut-down doors on the sides and rear. Suitcases would slide around in this thing like drunk kids on a roller rink. I hope the roof panel had some kind of secure holder in there.
They knew the Viper would have dramatic proportions, but they did, too! Just, you know, reversed. So, Ford did it, beating the Viper to market by a matter of weeks, and at the same time becoming the two-seat roadster with the largest trunk in all of automotive history.
See? I told you it was a stupid idea! I think the actual Triton V10 didn’t end up in any Econolines until 1997 or so, but it’s possible it would have been in development that much earlier? Maybe?
Still, I maintain that if Ford had an incredibly short amount of time to release a V10 roadster, in that era, it could have been this. Of course, this is all just the product of my feverish mind, and it never actually happened. Maybe the world is a little poorer for it?
Maybe not.
oh my goodness, i have been dreaming of cutting up an econoline in a similar fashion for YEARS, albeit leave the roof on the cab, and cut at the style line running down from the back of the cab and curves into the horizontal belt line running the length of the truck. this would give it a kickass 10-12′ pickup bed! Like a chassis cab ranchero/ el camino!
E-350 Chassis Cabanchero? Economino?
And as hot rodders have long shoehorned great engines into the mid engine layout of vans, this should be no exception, save that the frunk is made useful to offset the space usage outback. This is still a utility vehicle!
It looks like the planet eater shark thing from Star Trek. Scotty, get me out of here!
My first reaction is,that it looks like an old fire engine, my second is that Jason should avoid hallucinogens
Step……away…….from the…….pipe.
ceci n’est pas un camionette
i only just learned about this joke from John Oliver and had a good little cackle. thank you
In all fairness, that is an excellent episode
It’s only a matter of time before junk yard digs / pole barn garage steal your plan. Convertible van truck thing why not. It looks way too good to not be attempted.
Might as well go mid engine by shifting frame cross rails.
“The voices in your head are not me. Take your pills. -God”
Originally on a church sign in Florida during an election year; applies here equally well.
You’re a cheap date for the guys over at RoadKill..
The 6.8 V10 was a good engine. Yes, it had issues with spark plug issues throwing up in early examples , but then again was nowhere near as serious as the Godzilla cam and lifter failures that came between 20-22 trucks….
The common issue these engines seem to share is that these V10s do not really hold up well to idling…(I read somewhere that camshafts could fail and eventually cause the engine to break from someone who knew several high mileage V10s on FB). I am not sure about the 460 V8s…
The scariest part of this vision is the amount of bump steer those Econolines have and the thought of driving it in any high speed manner.
…. then again, that painters van with 5 feet worth of ladders on the roof and worn out shocks passed me at 90mph on the garden state parkway today so maybe it was a performance car in disguise.
Ah, the GSP, an example of the Mad Max highway category.
Apparently most Ford trucks and vans are governed at 95 mph.
Not, uh, that I’d know anything about that…
My 4 speed Dodge van appeared to be speed limited by the laws of aerodynamics.
Jason, you live in the South. I guarantee you something like this exists under a tarp in a carport somewhere within a day’s drive of your house.
The product of a case of beer 3 guys 4 hours a torch and few grinders. Probably rattle can cameoed with a cameo tarp roof. Still doesn’t top the rattle canned 90s fiesta with a 5th wheel hitch on the roof I saw in the middle of nowhere Arkansas one time.
Class C cutaways with the RV removed are not rare.
“no lowballers, I know what I got”
Red Poling: You got two weeks to show me a Viper killer and if you screw this up you’ll be designing cargo vans to haul rubber dog shit out of Chinatown.
Next time try the booze.
I truly can’t decide how I feel.
It’s awesome! But it’s a van cut down in its prime…
Or, more seriously, my understanding is that the Triton V10 is the “we put you on the council, but do not grant you the rank of Master” of V10 engines
(I would still drive it though)
I think we all expected some kind deranged symptoms from cutting batteries out with a chainsaw, I think we have found it. Jason get to your doctor or therapist for treatment