Home » I Handed Out My Business Card At Pebble Beach And Now I’m Getting Texts From People Who Think I’m A Prostitute: Tales From The Slack

I Handed Out My Business Card At Pebble Beach And Now I’m Getting Texts From People Who Think I’m A Prostitute: Tales From The Slack

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Dodsworth
Dodsworth
1 year ago

Using Dan Ackroyd’s voice: “And now, I shall arrange myself in various poses as to arouse your primal desire. I’m David Tracy, male prostitute.”

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 year ago

Here, I can translate for the less worldly among you:

qv – Quattrovalvole; as someone else noted, definitely in line with Adrian’s Mondial fetish
hh – hemi hunter
bb – Bangle butts
bbj – Brembo brake job
daty – d**ned automatic transmissions, yo
fetish friendly – all things taillight related; this is most assuredly Jason’s department
gfe – ghastly fuel economy
Escort Alligator – one of the clips holding my Ford together

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 year ago

As always, Goth Uncle Adrian is the best.

Bob Boxbody
Bob Boxbody
1 year ago

Well jeez, now I want to go to Pebble Beach!

Greg
Greg
1 year ago

Just another Midwesterner trying to make it big in LA and eventually falling victim to the big city.

Tony D
Tony D
1 year ago

one star, brought spaghetti into the shower.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  David Tracy

Rule 34 amigo

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
1 year ago
Reply to  David Tracy

It’s all in the marketing.

“Dinner date: $200. Spaghetti Shower: $450″

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
1 year ago
Reply to  David Tracy

Just you my man!

Dave
Dave
1 year ago

Thank you, David,et al. I really needed a laugh this afternoon, and y’all provided a most excellent opportunity. I’ve no idea what most of that meant, and I’m NOT Googling it. But my mental image of David’s face on discovery of that ad (think cartoonish eye-popping) will keep me chuckling for days. Thank you again!

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago

David the Midnight Cowboy?

Everybody’s textin’ at me
I don’t like a word they’re sayin’
Rather have calicos on my mind

Perverts scrollin’ , starin’
Don’t understand these places
Oh my, I should wash my eyes

Parsko
Parsko
1 year ago

I wish work let me do this kind of research on my work computer. 🙁

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago

Shamefully, I’d be a QV for sure. 😀

(Note that I have never even been in a strip club, let alone purveyed an escort)

El Jefe de Barbacoa
El Jefe de Barbacoa
1 year ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

It’s alright, brother, we won’t tell mommy you strayed.

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago

Amusingly, she wouldn’t care. She might be amused though.

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
1 year ago

Being an homme du monde I think I know what ALL those abbreviations mean.

AssMatt
AssMatt
1 year ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

“Quattrovalvole”

Arrest-me Red
Arrest-me Red
1 year ago

WOW, We need a merch based on this conversation. Maybe the next membership swag?

El Jefe de Barbacoa
El Jefe de Barbacoa
1 year ago
Reply to  Arrest-me Red

Clear heels with an Autopian logo over both toes.

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
1 year ago

Little matchbox car in each heel.

Chris Stevenson
Chris Stevenson
1 year ago

So that’s what the Autopian RV is for!

Dar Khorse
Dar Khorse
1 year ago

I think that mama cat is getting back at you for stealing her precious kittens.
Remember, if you Yom your Kippur too much, you’ll go blind.

Taargus Taargus
Taargus Taargus
1 year ago

David
You don’t have to put out the red light
Those days are over
You don’t have to sell you body to the night

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago

This must be a prostitution Sting – someone called The Police!

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Please. No noise complaints. We’re just getting tantric.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Oh thank god you’re here.
I spent half my Sunday on a silly little road trip in my Mazda to my favorite burger shack on the planet.
My wife came along. Our dogs nestled comfortably into the back seats of the coupe.
We ate our burgers and fries on a picnic bench in a park overlooking the river. Then walked our dogs along the trails intertwined with the river banks as the sun set in its opaque silence.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

That sounds adorable! What are you doing back here?

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Checking and giving myself notifications to check later.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Why? That sounds like a great day.
Get out of here!

Last edited 1 year ago by Not Sure
Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

What’s up with the old movie quote there? Are you OK?

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

What is that from?

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Godfather three I think. Never seen em so I’m not sure.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

You’ve never seen The Godfather?!

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Nope, and I don’t care to.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Fair.. it’s actually quite a boring movie.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Everyone’s a critic these days.

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

I thought we were supposed to leave this planet for no raisin…

?

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago
Reply to  Not Sure

Right behind you.

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago

We thought it was Jason who put out the red light.

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago

I’m not saying you deserve this kind of attention David, but you did just advertise your services to people who to get down and dirty…

https://www.theautopian.com/learn-how-to-off-road-with-the-autopian-at-detroit-4fest-next-month/

Patrick George
Patrick George
1 year ago

We’re always experimenting with innovative new revenue streams here at The Autopian!

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
1 year ago
Reply to  Patrick George

COTD!!

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
1 year ago
Reply to  Patrick George

I think the Atlantic beat you to this one.

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
1 year ago

Sidenote: I busted out laughing at Adrian’s kitten comment just as my boss at my day job walked in, so I had to explain to him what was so funny…

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago
Reply to  Mark Tucker

How well did that go? 🙂

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
1 year ago
Reply to  David Tracy

He just shook his head. Not much rattles him.

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago
Reply to  Mark Tucker

I guess that’s a pretty good outcome. It could have been a lot worse.

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
1 year ago

WOW, you gave your card to someone that works at the ole lighting site?
Adrian came up with some good ones LOL

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago

Let me help you out:
bb – big bumpers
bbj – bad boy jeep
daty – duelly all-terrain yaris
fetish friendly – taillights, door handles, gearshifts, and hood ornaments
gfe – golden ford experience

10001010
10001010
1 year ago
Reply to  Chronometric

I would like to see an article about that daty

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago

I’m thinking I’m a lucky person for not knowing what any of that stuff means. The rule about “no gfe” probably doesn’t mean “no Government Furnished Equipment”. 😐

And re: Adrian’s comment: I’m going to assume a “feral kitten” actually is an unsocialized feline and not a euphemism for anything. 🙂

Taco Shackleford
Taco Shackleford
1 year ago

David are you available for 24h LM? I want to W124, TRD, SS and E39.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
1 year ago

“…are you available for 24h LM?”

Sometimes it pays to advertise:

https://www.murileemartin.com/UG/LWA12/LWA12-UG-077.jpg

Taco Shackleford
Taco Shackleford
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

This guy knows

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago

Just
Employ
Every
Prostitute

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago

It gives new meaning to those spare tire covers that say “If you can read this, flip me over”.

Last edited 1 year ago by A. Barth
Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
1 year ago

I guess David wasn’t aware of all the perks being offered to Velour and Rich Corinthian Leather members.

Sorry man, we all thought you were into it. I’m not gonna ask for a refund, but I can’t say I’m not disappointed.

CopperFireMist
CopperFireMist
1 year ago

I dunno what’s better.. one star, got my underwear all rusty and fell asleep on me! or one star, wouldn’t stop talking about Jeeps!

Great way to start my Friday.

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