Home » I Knew Oscar Mayer Was Full Of Shit When They Changed The Name Of The Weinermobile

I Knew Oscar Mayer Was Full Of Shit When They Changed The Name Of The Weinermobile

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You may recall that back in May, there was a huge announcement that rested squarely at the intersection of sausages and automobiles, arguably the most important cultural intersection in modern society. That announcement was from Oscar Mayer, noted producer of hot dogs and other tubular delights, and operator of the world’s largest fleet of sausage-shaped automobiles. The announcement was that their famous Wienermobiles would be renamed “Frankmobiles.” When I covered this announcement in May, I called bullshit on the whole sordid mess. Because, come on, of course Oscar Mayer isn’t really changing the name of the Wienermobile! What would they stand to gain! It smelled of a dumb marketing stunt then, and now they’ve pretty much all but admitted it, changing the name back to Wienermobile after just a few ridiculous months. Did it get us all talking about the Wienermobile again, for a bit at least. Yes, it did. Did it debase the company, the Wienermobile, and the very concept of hot dogs themselves? No question.

The announcement of the return of the Wienermobile was made, like all important, serious announcements, on Instagram a day ago:

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And while Oscar Mayer may claim that the summer has been “franktastic,” we know that’s just more horseshit. Their claim that we, the hot dog-consuming public, “missed this BUNderful icon” is a presumptuous BUNdle of crap, because it was never gone. Precisely 0.0 people during the period of time from May 2023 to Now 2023 that saw the Wienermobile driving by said “oooh, look, it’s the Frankmobile” because nobody fucking ever thought of it as the Frankmobile, and Oscar Mayer knew it. They knew it all along! They were just toying with us, for no good reason!

Oscar Mayer Wienermobile spokesperson Edwin Roland explained the return to the original name from the insipid detour to Good Morning America:

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“We had never changed the name of the Wienermobile before and to celebrate our new 100% beef franks we were all on board in doing that, but we missed the name internally and we’re excited to bring it back. It didn’t cut the mustard — it’s the same mission but it’s comin’ back to Wienermobile.”

Oh, bullshit, Roland. I think you knew exactly what you were doing. I have to believe the fix was in from day one!

Remember, the Wienermobile has been a staple of sausageo-automobilia since 1936! Since before fucking WWII!

Evolution

The hot dog-shaped car that everyone knows has been called the Wienermobile since Karel Capek, the man who coined the word “robot,” was alive. Orville Wright and Earnest Hemmingway and Curly from the Three Stooges were still alive. Oscar Mayer’s attempt to just change the name of this important cultural institution to, what, crow about how they have all beef parts crammed into those tubes is the most base form of cynical capitalism.

Frankmobile

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The Frankmobile. What a load of crap. It’s the Wienermobile, and it always will be, and Oscar Mayer is just toying with us, like we don’t even matter. I’m not going to stand for it. I called this for what it was back then, a callow marketing ploy that was doomed to fail, and that’s exactly what it has borne out to be. Did these motherfuckers think I was going to change the text on my huge back tattoo of the Wienermobile? Fat fucking chance. But what if I had? What about all those poor bastards that possibly did believe Oscar Mayer’s foul ruse, and changed their tattoos? Is the company willing to compensate them to return their Wienermobile tattoos to their original, accurate state? I hope so. There’s probably, what, thousands of people in that miserable situation as we speak.

You know what? I hope the American Novelty Meats Consortium officially censures them this year, and doesn’t invite them to the annual Sauce Sage of the Sausages performance and gathering this year. There needs to be consequences for toying with us so cynically and so needlessly.

Also, since we’re talking about the Wienermobile, we need to address something important and as yet unanswered about the current one:

Taillights

What are the taillights on the current Wienermobile from? The previous generation had old Pontiac Firebird taillights, but this new one, with these sort of Altezza-style lights, these I can’t identify. They have a sort of 1990s Toyota Supra look, but the shape is different, as is the size and arrangement of the individual light elements. They look like aftermarket units of some kind. Hey, wait a minute – I found them!

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Actualvienermobiletaillights

The Wienermobile flips them upside-down from what is shown here, but these are the same taillights! Finally, one mystery solved! It also reveals a lie being perpetrated by Oscar Mayer the taillights are “custom made to help the hotdoggers drive safelyas reported to the Coeur d’Alene Press in 2019. They’re not custom! They’re off-the-shelf aftermarket lights for 1993 to 2002 Chevy Camaros!

More bullshit from Oscar Mayer. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

(Btw, I’m currently reading an excellent book about hot dogs by Jamie Loftus called Raw Dog. It’s great, if you want some intense hot dog reading.)

 

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(This post contains an affiliate link to Amazon about hot dogs of all things, so, yeah, buy the hot dog book and we’ll make a little money – MH.)

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Bob Boxbody
Bob Boxbody
1 year ago

Has there ever been a “Torch Drives” for a Wienermobile?

Bob Boxbody
Bob Boxbody
1 year ago

Ah, thank you. I hadn’t thought to go over to the… other place.

Motorhead Mike
Motorhead Mike
1 year ago

No offense to Brooks Stevens, but my favorite is still the Cocktail-Wienermobile I saw driving around Madison in the late-aughts.

Different note… I was helping my new roommate move his cookbooks in to the kitchen, in the early-ninties, and discovered a copy of Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle” in with them. “What’s with this”, I asked. “Good kitchen reading material,” he replied. I proceeded to read the entire thing, in the kitchen, while eating pepperoni pizza. There’s some intense hotdog reading for you…

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
1 year ago

“…is a presumptuous BUNdle of crap, because it was never gone. Precisely 0.0 people during the period of time from May 2023 to Now 2023 that saw the Wienermobile driving by said “oooh, look, it’s the Frankmobile” because nobody fucking ever thought of it as the Frankmobile”

“Remember, the Wienermobile has been a staple of sausageo-automobilia since 1936! Since before fucking WWII!”

This is what we all come here to read and why The Autopian is the best site ever made!!!

(Also we all knew it was a scam, and this is history that you DON’T mess w/ or there will be riots in the streets)

EmotionalSupportBMW
EmotionalSupportBMW
1 year ago

My Hot Dog Shaped truck has a first name, it’s B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S. My Hot Dog Shaped truck has a second name, it’s A-L-L O-F T-H-E-M! The L.L Bean Boot truck is the only true novelty vehicle!

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago

I have submitted a formal request to the United States Haggis Purveyors Society asking them rescind the invitation that was sent to Oscar Mayer for the annual Stuffed Meat Consumer Products Conference.

Last edited 1 year ago by Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Rich Hobbs
Rich Hobbs
1 year ago

My condiments to all who left a comment!

HENRY DAWSON
HENRY DAWSON
1 year ago

Can we get a bun length article on that ’58 Weinermobile? That glass nose is incredible….

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
1 year ago

Whoever decided to change the name of such an iconic vehicle is frankly, a di…

A weiner. Yeah. That’s the word I meant.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 year ago

I do kinda hope that while it was the Frankmobile, they carried some Coke II aboard just for the internal laffs.

(Yeah, that is/was the final name of it)

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

I don’t suppose you could get Ford to stop calling the Mach E a Mustang?

Mike Smith
Mike Smith
1 year ago

Wienermobile… F body tail lights… there’s a footlong pun in there, if we’re being frank.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago

Fun fact:
Iceland is the top consumer of hot dogs per capita. And their hot dogs are made of sheep meat.

Also am I the only person who finds curved meat in a skin annoying? Make it fit in the bun so toppings can be added. And for God’s sake can we start getting hot dogs, sausage dogs and business the same counts? 6 sausages, 8 buns and 10 hot dogs. Who the heck is making these decisions?

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

Supermarket purchasers, I reckon. Or maybe a conspiratorial cabal of industrialists colluding to set the number of buns and sausages in each other’s packages to goose sales mutually.

Last edited 1 year ago by Double Wide Harvey Park
Ricki
Ricki
1 year ago

It shouldn’t be hard for people to ketchup on the name. You’d think there mustard been another way to generate interest. I’m glad people let their oponion be known.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago
Reply to  Ricki

I really don’t relish other people’s opinions. But cheese they just keep posting onion and onion.

MyCarDecisionsMakeFinancialAdvisorsCry
MyCarDecisionsMakeFinancialAdvisorsCry
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

We really gotta chili out with these puns

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago

I agree but it ain’t gonna happen.

Data
Data
1 year ago

I’ve used this before, but how often do I really have to deploy it?

Memphis: There’s too many self-Indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a Oscar Meyer Wienermobile…

Roger the Car Salesman : You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir… You’d be a connoisseur.

Brandon Forbes
Brandon Forbes
1 year ago
Reply to  Data

Took me a minute to place it. Haven’t seen that movie in a long time!

Lockleaf
Lockleaf
1 year ago
Reply to  Data

This gets quoted almost daily where I work. But mostly just the self indulgent wiener line.

Jack Beckman
Jack Beckman
1 year ago

So, Torch, tell us how you really feel?<g> Not that I disagree with a single word you’ve written in this article…

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 year ago

I like the ‘36 & ‘40 ones. Had to check: actually custom-built chassis. They were scrapped during metal-drives in WWII. Wikipedia has a few incidents they’ve been involved in over the years—including one wedged ‘under a house’ in a failed attempt to turn around.

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago

I relish a good frank discussion. They’ve been dogging us from the start.

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
1 year ago
Reply to  Chronometric

These kinds of stunts really are the wurst.

Data
Data
1 year ago

Torch keeps calling bullshit, but we all know it’s actually rat turds in hot dogs.

Flatisflat
Flatisflat
1 year ago

So I guess whoever designs the Weinermobile must have an affinity for 4th-gen Chevy F-bodies. Always trying to cop those tails…

Brian Ash
Brian Ash
1 year ago

Great now the Wienermobile is going to fail inspection since you pointed out the headlights are installed upside down as originally designed by manufacturer, surely that must violate some NHTSA regulation….. though if it was an AV they wouldn’t blink an eye.

Taco Shackleford
Taco Shackleford
1 year ago

I stopped reading books about meat processing half through The Jungle. If Raw Dog won’t scar me the same ways I’d be willing to check it out, but I need some assurances.

Billy Cheesesteak
Billy Cheesesteak
1 year ago

I’m about halfway through it right now, and its more about their cultural significance than a disgusting “you’ll never believe what goes into them” expose like Food, Inc. The book is very funny and I recommend it!

Mikan
Mikan
1 year ago

I feel like there must be some intricacy of German-American words that I’m missing out on here: what’s the difference between a ‘wiener’ and ‘frank’ and why does the advertising seem to imply the latter is more premium?

MAX FRESH OFF
MAX FRESH OFF
1 year ago
Reply to  Mikan

“Weiner” means from Vienna, and “Frankfurter” means from Frankfurt. I think they were trying to distance themselves from Anthony Weiner.

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
1 year ago
Reply to  MAX FRESH OFF

It’s wiener. V-i-e-nna is W-i-en in German. Wiener means Viennese.

Strangek
Strangek
1 year ago

Thanks for calling them out Torch. If I wasn’t such a coward I would have done so myself.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
1 year ago
Reply to  Strangek

We must thank the heavenly stars we have Jason, leader of men and light against the darkness. His courage is unshakeable and he is as persistent as time itself. May his righteous wrath turn away all who would besmirch tubular meat mobiles

Drg84
Drg84
1 year ago

* tail light against the darkness.

Hotdoughnutsnow
Hotdoughnutsnow
1 year ago

I never sausage blatant marketing lies!

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 year ago

I hope someday to own a ’69 Wienermobile.

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