So I promised myself I’d get back doing Cold Starts, at least, here in this fresh, brand-new, still-vacuum-sealed Year of Our Lard 2024, and so I am. I mean, sort of. I’m doing this one, and I hope to keep it up, but I’m not gonna lie – I still don’t feel exactly 100%. Mind if I kvetch a bit here? Sure, that’s how everyone wants to start the new year – listening to some dork whose aorta exploded gripe about things!
So, during surgery, there was a bit of unexpected nerve damage to whatever nerve-wires feed my right thigh. That means it’s weirdly numb save for shooting lightning bolts of pain that appear at unpredictable intervals. I hate it. It’s driving me bizzonkers, and it makes sleeping difficult. Even better, the doctors plan for it is to do, medically, fuck-all, since all you can do it wait it out, which they say will take months. Oh boy.
I’m also kind of achey all the time, which is to be expected, since I was cracked open like a delicious crab, and while I’m weaning off the pain meds, when I do give in and take them they make me feel nice and loopy, like last night, when I tried to explain to my wife something dreadfully important that also, somehow, had precisely zero words in English to describe whatever the hell it was, which I absolutely cannot remember. But I sure tried to explain it, just, you know, sans words.
I did not explain it.
I still get tired quicker than I want to. And I’m tired of being tired, tired of not being able to do the things I did like drive or pick up heacvy things or wrestle full-grown badgers into submission. And yet, I have to remind myself, that’s okay, I actually am recovering, and this is all part of the process.
I know. And I also know how thankful I am to be here, and for all of you, who have kept me going in some very real, non-metaphorical ways.
So, yes, I’m bitching. And I’m sick of my thigh feeling like it was caught fucking Zeus’ daughter. I’m sick of feeling cold and brittle. But it won’t last forever, and I’m so happy to be able to complain.
Oh, and that car up there is a 1924 Renault NN, one of the Renault “coal scuttle” cars that had the radiator behind the engine, with cooling air pulled into those gills on either side of the hood. These things only had a 951cc inline-4 making 17 hp – honestly pretty damn good for the era!
I’m positive I speak for all of us when I say we welcome you to wrestle medium or, even, small sized badgers for as long as you need
Jason, get one of the cheap leg massager sleeve things. (this) It does wonders for nerve pain and it should even prevent clots if you have to spend a lot of time in bed.
Absolutely, especially after major surgery. I’ve been split open 4 times, and had 3 DVTs.
Just take it easy, let yourself heal, but it was really good to hear from you.
From the SLOTHMORE store!
Well Jason, it sucks that you feel the way you do. Some things will heal with time, some will require painful/exerting physical therapy, and you and/or your family may need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. It may be a long, painful, and expensive process, like obtaining Cadillac XLR tail lights, but you will get there.
My wife almost snuffed it during childbirth, and got damaged nerves on her feet/legs, she felt numb, had very limited movement and would fall on her face. The recovery is/was hard and frustrating, and she (the kindest and most sensitive lady I’ve met) was feeling so bad that she was quite the asshole to everyone.
Don’t be afraid of asking for help.
Oh, I had a Belgian GF called Hebe, like Zeus’ daughter. My thighs did not get numb.
Welcome to the zipper club, Torch, where no one wants to be a member, but it beats the alternative. It really does get better. Hang in there. Believe it or not, someday you’ll even sleep on your stomach again!
So glad to have you back, Torch!
Welcome back, Torch! Would it help if I rubbed your thigh?
I got nothing witty to say today (or perhaps ever), but I am very happy to see you kvetch.
It won’t make you feel any better, but I clipped a nerve in my foot the other day when I was chopping wood. My really, really sharp Helko Spaltaxt axe came off the front of the round and right across the top of my foot. Fourth toe on my foot is numb and limp. Clipped a tendon too. Super glue didn’t take either so it’s open. Yuck. Won’t happen again though.
Oof! Had to break out the old sewing kit?
No, by the time I realized the glue hadn’t held it was too late. Iodine and Medical Honey have kept it infection free though so now I’ll just have a bit of keloid. Luckily the toe moved today so the nerve still has some life. Even better, the tendon has held. Now I just wish I could get rid of that weird open wound feeling. It’s such a strange sensation.
I bet!
So happy to hear you kvetch.
Jason, buddy, you gotta follow instructions now: no chainsawing batteries here, ok?
There aren’t any shortcuts, but the alternative is worse — and we’re here to listen when venting is needed.
I’m not a doctor, but is ‘inadvertent sciatica as result of an unrelated surgery’ a thing?
I developed sciatica the old fashioned way and it was cured by a laminectomy (but not before I was prescribed some hallucination-inducing opioids), admittedly much less serious than your aorta going pop.
I’m always telling my wife to take it easy. She listens probably as well as you do.
Feel better, eh!
I wish doctors would still prescribe opioids when warranted instead of treating people in chronic breakthrough pain like criminals.
Although it worked great (first pill obliterated my searing leg pain in a scant 15 minutes), I stopped using the medication after three pills. Scared the shit out of me. I chucked them in the toilet, since apparently giving them away to other people is frowned upon.
Happy New Year! Badgers? Badgers?
We don’t need no stinkin badgers!!!
Looks like the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe is going to get some competition from Moan, Groan, Bitch and Kvetch.
Soooooo…what are your thoughts on melted butter?
Hi!
Siri Alexa Chatbot here to help readers with some of Torch’s unfamiliar cultural references, David.
First Torch uses the Yiddish/Hebrew word Kvetch. For many readers this may be a bit obscure, so here it is in the more familiar Japanese:
文句 する.
Next Zeus had five daughters so we must speculate which one to whom he is referring about . Fortunately Context is our friend here, and great that he is at wild guesses he says he’s figured it and who am I to doubt him? We Chatbots must learn from others, and how could an internet source be wrong, again?
The correct answer is obviously Hebe:
Hebe was the youngest daughter to Zeus and his wife Hera. Her name came from the Greek word for ‘youth’, and it was thought she had the power to temporarily restore youth in a chosen few. Her principal role was as cupbearer (bar maiden) serving nectar and ambrosia to the Olympians on the staff of Autopia. Unfortunately, she lost this job in an unfortunate incident, when she (was?) tripped and her dress came undone, exposing her breasts to all of Olympia/Autopia while somebody’s wife was around.
Although it is her headlights we reference here, and not tail lights, she’s the obvious choice. One can clearly speculate that Torch was grabbing, er, snatch, ah,(Hey, English is hard!) making a grab for a couple of her sweet sweet nectar holders and she misinterpreted his moves, posture and leer as an attempt to turn on her headlight switches. The resulting rumble resulted in Torch being bodily tossed out of the Olympus bar, landing on his keister (お尻) and also landing in a fortunately more hospitable hospital.
—–
We missed you a lot Jason… take your time getting better and please don’t push yourself too hard, too fast. Just the occasional note to let us know how you are is all we ask.
That’s freakin awesome, Lokki!
>anyone who enjoys somewhat demented takes on Zeus & pantheon will enjoy time over at BetterMyths.com (not affiliated: I’m not the storyteller he is!)
Your explanations were, shall we say, on point…
Whatareya doin? Stop throwing things. I’m outta here…
I think 20% of what I’m hoping for when I come here now is a kvetchy “Jason health update,” thanks for not disappointing! Luckily you guys have so many great writers now to cover the other 80%, you know, cars and stuff.
Two things:
1. Happy New Year Jason, your kvetching is one of the things I love most about you.
2. Please ask Sally to record your next bout of loopy non-English and post it here. This community is chock-full of talented people and I’m sure someone will be able to translate your incoherent ramblings into a detailed analysis of the trafficators on a vintage Peruvian VW derivative.
Loopy Jason discussing non-USDM VWs hopped up on all the drugs? This is an episode of the podcast I would ABSOLUTELY tune into.
We love to hear you bitch Torch,that’s the only reason we’re here. I laughed at the thought of your thigh fucking Zeus daughter.. I guess thigh-fucking is a thing,kind of like dry-humping a pillow or a tree. Anyway, I think doing the cold start is a good way to, start, so to speak. We are just happy to get the occasional crazy cat lady posts of yours and knowing you are safe and sound with your family.
It’s good to hear from you Torch. Recovery feels like it takes forever, but then one day you’ll look up and notice that it has happened.
Your bitching is music to our ears. Stay the course and don’t overdo it, and we look to your continued recovery.
Torch, So glad to be able to hear you kvetch! It’s music to my ears. Hang in there buddy, time wounds all heals.
Also, I’m glad that you will recover, and that you are still able to write. And the not being dead thing is important too.
The Renault NN is said to have a top speed of 37 mph. It weighs 2,540 lbs. Kind of disappointing for having 17 horsepower on tap, but the car also exemplifies the importance of load reduction. It’s possible to do a LOT more with 17 horsepower.
If this Renault had the CdA value of the 1921 Rumpler Tropfenwagen, I think 70 mph would have been possible with the same mass and same engine, albeit it would have taken a while to get there.
After more than 80 years of technological development, the Loremo LS with 19 horsepower, a 0.20 drag coefficient, overall CdA value of 0.22 m^2, and weighing 990 lbs, could accelerate from 0-60 mph in 20 seconds and top out at 100 mph for comparison. It also gets 157 mpg.
Happy new year Toecutter!
I’m not going to lie: pretty much every comment of yours sends me down a rabbit hole of googling the various ultralight machines you know so much about, or trying to make sense of a thesis on frontal area reduction.
With that said, I think the Loremo LS might be one of the most handsome diesels I’ve ever seen (though still not as sexy as a Tropfenwagen). Thanks for launching the new year with another of your juicy wisdom pearls!
Thank you for your reply. Here’s an aero-modded Ford Model T which cut its CdA value to roughly 1/4 that of stock.
https://www.metrompg.com/posts/model-t-stevinson.htm
Still using the stock engine, it could top 70 mph and its fuel economy increased to 38 mpg. Compare to a stock Model T with a 45 mph top speed and 25-30 mpg fuel consumption:
Thanks for that, Toecutter. I can’t imagine going 70 in a Tin Lizzy! With basically no toe-in and the camber the kingpins were at, I piloted my grandfather’s perfectly restored T only up to about 42–and that was on modern roads in ‘92. Those things took all your attention: I still get a bit misty remembering his nod & tiny twitch of almost a smile when I finally both took off smoothly and got it into high with out a jerk that golden afternoon the last time I visited him
So nice to hear from you again (heart emoji)
Happy 2024 – and the best wishes for your recovery!
Not much new here in LEGO land, I’m driving the Figaro and working on my 1971 Beetle. Looking forward to spring and 356’ing again.
-Oh, and that old lady, who lives in that big house downtown on the other side of the pedestrian street, is quitting the family business and leaving it to her nice Porsche driving son.
The 356 is what happens if pure joy was shaped into a vehicle. Just a delightful little car.
Well put, will try to remember that one 🙂
Wishing you a happy and greatly improving 2024.
Neurons will figure out a new road, they get confused by roundabouts, will get some hot laps in and go flying off. They will sort it out though, eventually.
Torch, you are more than welcome to bitch and moan at us. We’re just glad that you’re still here to do some moaning.
That didn’t sound right, did it? I’m at work on a holiday and my brain doesn’t know it’s 2024 yet.
Also you need to check your discharge instructions. They should clearly state that you need to start by wrestling full grown woodchucks, then juvenile badgers, and only then full grown badgers.
…and then Honey Badgers, and then Chuck Norris.
Good morning Jason! Your frustrated feelings are totally valid. But also keep in mind that the broken bones they cracked will take about 2 months to heal. And you’ll have to build up strength after that unfortunately. But every day should be feeling better and better. It’s so good to hear from you again. Thank you for not going out like Grant Wahl did.