I’m fully leaving Michigan in mid February, but not before hosting an absolute rager (it’ll be a bunch of car nerds dressed in wrenching clothes in an empty house) at The House of Misfit Jeeps — the abode that jumpstarted my career as a car journalist. I want you, dear Autopian readers, to join me and celebrate. I’ll be giving out free car-stuff.
That’s right: I’m inviting THE GENERAL PUBLIC to Casa Del Jeep in Troy, Michigan. A bold move, I know, but I’ve been hosting car shows for the formerly-Colonel Mr. Public, and have found him mild-mannered. Proof: I have yet to be murdered.
As I hope to keep this streak alive, I won’t be posting my address here publicly. Instead, I’ll ask each of you to email me and describe why it is that you’re unlikely to harvest my organs in your basement. We’ll get to that in a bit, but first — the details:
Who: David Tracy and Autopian readers
What: A junkyard visit followed by a wrenching-themed party at DT’s house
When: Saturday, February 4, 2023. Junkyard visit: 3:00 P.M. Party: 5:30 P.M.
Where: U.S. Auto in Sterling Heights. Then at my house in Troy, Michigan
Why: David is leaving Michigan after 9.5 years. It’s time to celebrate this time, and the friendships forged in the lovely mitten.
How: Show up at U.S. Auto with $1 in cash (entry fee), and come walk around the junkyard with me (pull parts if you like). Thereafter, come to my house dressed in wrenching garb (coveralls if you have them!), park in the driveway or backyard, enter the (empty) shack, see other car nerds, say words to them, listen to them say words, eat free food, get free car-stuff, dance if you want to, and then eventually leave. Or you can crash at the house — it’s an empty shack, after all. Just bring a sleeping bag.
The visit to the junkyard is optional, of course, though it will be awesome. The party at my house, which starts at 5:30, is going to involve music, free food, and some car stuff that I’m going to try to pawn off on you. Not sure that it’s really any good, but I gotta get rid of it.
Bring your cool car, park it in the backyard, and then talk everyone’s ears off about it.
To RSVP to this party, email david@autopian.com, along with the aforementioned description of why you’re unlikely to harvest my organs in your cellar.
…how have I been in Austin longer than you were in Detroit?!
Man, this throws my whole frame of reference off now. You’ve been Detroit Man for as long as I can remember. Like Florida Man, but with rust and fewer bootleg psychedelics purchased from some guy in a Waffle House parking lot at 3 a.m.
Damn, already double booked for Feb. 4 and it’s like a 12 hour drive from my house, but I’m tempted anyway.
I’d love to go… but I have plans on that day in the afternoon. Hope you and everyone that can go has fun!
Someone needs to bring a metal detector to find all the tools and parts buried in the mud.
On second thought, multiple someones need to bring multiple metal detectors.
Probably find enough lost parts to build a few more ‘Holy Grails’.
Won’t compare to the party thrown in the neighborhood after it is clear David and the “Fleet” are gone.
On the other hand, a bittersweet event for the city code enforcement inspector, as their greatest adversary has moved on. DT should invite them.
Well DAMN! I’m in the detroit area starting today for a bit, but I go home on the 4th. Booo!
Reason 1 I was going home Saturday: My sister was visiting. Reason 2 I was going home Saturday, to give myself a buffer day before work. My sister says “go see that dude and have fun” and who needs a buffer day! Off I go!
It was never hard to find Davids place. I would get some Tim Hortons, drive down the road and I would see a Jeep Wagoneer Golden Eagle.
Proof of tetanus vaccination required?
Can we get that Grill and Cross-Wrench design as a shirt? Maybe as a spare tire cover?
Jokes on you, I already know where the Jeep Barrens are located.
I used to drive by his house all the time and would crack a smile every time a new rusty Jeep showed up in the driveway.
I’ll ty to join!
Those of us not particularly close to Michigan should hold satellite events, also wrenching themed, to celebrate that David isn’t leaving our towns.
Michigan in February for the full David Tracy wrenching experience. Wish I had the fortitude for it!
So if I plan to harvest said organs in a better location, say central park, am I invited? Sounds like an awesome time, but a bit outside of my commutable distance from Texas.
Should I bring the ratty SVX or the mint Outback, that is the question.
The answer is always SVX.
I’ll have to plan ahead. Load up with snacks, and have at least a half tank of gas.
Going from the west side of Detroit to the north side of Detroit is a real slog. But I think I’m up for it.
If I could be there, I would show up for the event. Sounds like a blast.
I’ve seen the way you treat your body. The organs are probably crap.
I can’t make it: too far/too little PTO left. Now I’m just wondering about the playlist—don’t think I’ve ever read of DT’s musical tastes. But, as I subscribed to CARtoons magazine last year, I think I have some visuals of how the event will unfold.
You can still subscribe to CARToons? I still have a bunch of issues from the late ’80s early ’90s.
It was re-launched in the early 2010s. https://www.cartoonsmag.com/
I wonder how many replies along the lines “I won’t harvest your organs in my basement or cellar because I don’t have either a basement or a cellar to do it in” you are getting.
How can I tell how interested I am in harvesting your organs if you won’t even tell me what blood type you are?
If you aren’t A+ you are much more use to me intact.
I’d love to attend, but I’m on one of the wrong continents.
Glad I’m not going, I’m B+ which I understand is pretty rare (nothing about me is usual).
I’m supposed to head to Florida in March to see some family and ideally catch the 12 hours of Sebring. I really think the Brougham could use a 10 hour shake down cruise before then. Based on my current workload, there’s maybe a 10% chance I could pull this off. So, if it looks like the planets are going to align, a sleeping back and cooler full of Old Style are going in the trunk and I’ll be making the pilgrimage to the House of Tetanus (and yes, my TDAP is up to date)!
Ohhhh how I wish I could join you guys!!! That is going to be the gearhead wrench-nerd party of the century!! I’m superrrr jealous!!
Well, first off I don’t even have a basement so I’d be harvesting your organs somewhere else anyway.
Also, I’m not sure how much I could even get for organs so contaminated with ferric oxide.
Moving across the country can be a daunting task. But it’s also very freeing.
I hope the decluttering hits you hard in the kidneys and you come out of it grounded in L.A. It’s all just stuff man.
Now you can focus on what you really care about. Keep brushing that Mustang.
Get yourself a reliable car that you enjoy driving and relax for a minute.
We will all be here for you when you snap out of it later.