I can use Cold Start for shameless self-promotion, can’t I? I think I can. I mean, who’s gonna stop me? David? He’s still asleep, covered in cats and motor oil! No, I can do this, because I said I can. Here’s the deal: tomorrow, at 6 pm, at some room called The Fishbowl in Hill Library on the campus of NC State University, I’ll be giving a talk as part of a program they do at NC State called Arts and Your Major, which I think they have to do because State is a technical sort of school, and lots of kids go there and get all into engineering or chemistry or Fibonacci sequences or some crap like that and forget art exists. That’s sad! But I’m going to solve this problem, by talking about cars! Which is how I solve every problem!
Have I written my talk, or made my slides yet? Ha ha ha, no, no I haven’t, thanks for asking. Have I been staying up until 3 am making wall art for the LA Auto Show and trying to catch up on member drawings? Yes, that I’ve been doing, which is why this talk has a non-zero chance of devolving into me ranting and getting dragged off the stage (dias? Bema? platform?) by security guards.
Oh that car up there is a 1931 Wikov Type 35 Kapka, one of the first real streamlined cars built in what is now the Czech Republic. I threw that in because I realize most of you don’t have a chance of making it out to this talk, so I should give you a bit of good car stuff to start your day. And this Wikov is good.
These were sort of an experiment in streamlining on the part of Wikov, keeping with a lot of Czech developments in the aerodynamics field that were happening at the time, and it was built on the chassis of their Wikov 35 cars. Those cars were very conventionally styled, with no regard for wind resistance:
The dramatic shape of the Kapka re-bodied version is very much in keeping with early aerodynamic understanding, which really focused on the ideal “teardrop” form:
While mass production was hoped for, only six of these were actually built. Critics were enwrapt, but it was just too weird for mainstream people, once again proving designer Raymond Loewy’s MAYA maxim (Most Advanced, Yet Acceptable) right.
Anyway, if you’re near NC State, come out and see my talk! Afterwards, you can ask for a slap or hug! Your call!
Like a Ted Talk, but instead you won’t realllly learn anything. You’ll feel a bit guilty when you leave, but not fully understand why until you walk towards your car and realize your headlights are foggy, when you don’t even know what that means.
hope the talk went well, Jason!
TIL the word “enrapt” because i looked up its [proper] spelling
/pendantic comment
My work schedule won’t let me get there in time, but this is awesome! The MAE department had a motorsports organization when I was there; at one point, they were working out of an old strip mall, and had to deal with a visit from the police whenever they had an engine on the dynamometer.
Is Wikov Kapka Czech for, “Ribbed for her pleasure?”
I want to boop its snoot.
He’s still asleep, covered in cats and motor oil!
Is David actually getting any wrenching in these days? If so, we’d like to read about it.
Would love to see your talk, though. Your past missives on the intersection of art and automobiles have been most enlightening.
Wish I was there to watch/listen. Any livestream available by chance?
Friday at 6? Can you fit a keg in the Changli (assuming the worst you’ll get if you drive it straight into the auditorium is a slap on the wrist)?
Torch, you need to spend the entire lecture talking about NA Miata taillights. They are the trifecta…
1. Taillights
2. Automotive
3. On permanent display in MOMA, so art
You’re welcome.
Can the talk be streamed or recorded and viewed later? I would be interested in seeing it!
“Afterwards, you can ask for a slap or hug! Your call!”
Why not both?
Preparation? Bah! Just do what all my profs did: transfer the assembly to the nearest off-campus dive bar and get the rich kids to pony up for pitchers of PBR til closing time. Draw a few cars on napkins and tell embarrassing David Tracy stories. That should hold ‘em.
Who could say that wasn’t a night well spent? Maybe go light a tire fire in the parking lot to really push it over the top.
the inadvertent tire fire at david tracy’s going-to-la party was certainly something that pushed out over the top, lol. one of the attendees noted that it was his first tire fire!
Ah yes. You never forget your first tire fire. What an incredible honor for that to be someone’s first!
The wheels on those regular shaped old Wikows are more ‘aero’ than most wheels today, without even trying 😉
I bet NC State would let you audit a couple of engineering classes to learn about wire gauge, bolt torques, and chemical pathogens.
COTD.
Please?
Don’t forget the chainsaw you crazy bastard!
Helps with extending the attention span.
“Have I written my talk, or made my slides yet? Ha ha ha, no, no I haven’t, thanks for asking.”
As a university instructor I must ask you to stop giving away our trade secrets.
Checking my schedule..
I’m sure your talk will go great
unlessespecially if you get dragged off by security guards! I hope there’s video, regardless.Man, that Wikov sure looks aerodynamicky, but was it actually, or just one of those designs that looks slick but isn’t? Well, even if it didn’t improve it aerodynamickyly, it definitely looks better than the original.
Also, speaking from experience, preparation for these invited guest lecture gigs is highly overrated. You definitely won’t end up engaging in self-recrimination and regret for years afterwards, waking up in a cold sweat and fantasizing about how you should have responded to that snarky question from that asshole professor (or student or whatever), but unfortunately didn’t think of a good comeback until right after the lecture was over. Just relax and shoot from the hip – I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Damn, that’s a really hard decision, but given the choice I think I’d have to go with a slap just because I get so few of those.
This is only about 2 miles away from me, so I think the deciding factor is what car you’ll be driving to campus in. Will the Pao be available for viewing after the talk?
Yes, the Pao will be ferrying me there.
Will there be guided tours of the Pao afterwards, with tasty snacks?
Like a wheelbarrow of shrimp 🙂
It’s a pretty good way to solve most problems, but if it fails, you can fall back on the wise advice of another Jason, Jason Mendoza (The Good Place):
(Probably try not to actually burn the school down, though. I suspect that would likely result in you not being invited back. And probably an arrest, too.)
“He’s still asleep, covered in cats and motor oil!”
Arguably the best way to live life.
Good luck with the presentation and seconding the query from another commenter, CatMan (!), about recording it and putting on YouTube.
“I realize most of you don’t have a chance of making out to this talk,”
Only true Autopians get laid to the sound of Torch rambling about taillights on Tatras. There is nothing sexier than raw unhinged car nerdery.
You’re not considered a true goth until you’ve had sex to ‘Some Kind of Stranger’ by the Sisters of Mercy. It’s in the rules.
That sounds accurate.
What about ‘Lions’ by Tones on Tail? Does that work?
I’ve just checked The Rules, and no it doesn’t qualify.
I’d love to see this, any chance of it being recorded and put on YouTube?
Nothing personal, Jason, but what are the chances you’ll be accompanied by the man, the myth, the legend, the one unafraid to sit in the back seat of the Changli: the one and only Otto Torchinsky?
‘Cause I might have to make that road trip.
It just occurred to me that much of Torch’s glorious weirdness might be lost on Otto, because he’s lived with it from birth. It’s normal. Like growing up as a Munster or an Addams.
So you’re saying that Otto will be writing a book akin to Running With Scissors sometime in the future?
Have you read ‘Dry’? Several places I had to put the book down as I was wetting myself with laughter.
Also Augustan Burroughs?
No, but now I know it exists, it’s going on my Xmas wish list!
Yes. It’s about his alcoholism.
Even better!
-much obliged, Goth Uncle
I think Otto likely won’t attend because he rolled his eyes at me when asked.
He’ll end up pulling a Mark Critch and writing a sitcom about his childhood where he plays your character himself. Height may be an issue for that, though.
Absolutely would watch that!
Great age, isn’t it?
A buddy of mine asked me what to expect when his daughter turned 10 (my kid is a little older). I told him that I hope he likes having eyes rolled at him and hearing UGH a lot.
Also, an incredible number of ways of— and shadings to—saying, “Dad”!
DAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAd!
I have 4 kids, two of them girls
I feel like this just gave me a flashback to ‘Nam.
Conversely when a kid says “yeah, I got this” get ready to clean up the mess.
Standard reply: “Hold it right there, young ‘un—our insurance coverage amounts to mecurochrome & generic bandaids!”