The Autopian staff is pretty damn hard on cars. We ride them hard and don’t just put them away wet, but in pieces and filled with rotting shower spaghetti and a smattering of hopes and dreams. If we’re getting rid of a car, it’s usually because it’s been screwed up beyond recognition.
Such was the case with Jason’s Scion xB. It wasn’t in great shape when he moved it from North Carolina to Detroit, but it was in even worse shape when I got into it last summer. The poor ride was misfiring, the transmission was making every conceivable noise, and oh yeah, every possible warning light was illuminated. It held highway speed, but only just barely.
Anyway, the guys had me park the Test Car at the house of one seriously important person in Michigan, where I thought I’d never see the car again. Well, I was wrong, because reader Buzz has given the xB a new life as a sweet rally car! From Lewin’s piece about U-Haul’s new car hauler:
If your race car is a 2006 Scion xB, the current Auto Transport trailer is pretty much perfect. I’m a huge fan of the integrated tire tie downs up front, and you don’t need any extra length for spare wheels because you can fit them in the back of the xB. I even like the big hole in the center of the trailer because it gives you the opportunity to look underneath your car – it’s always good to check out the underside to see if that last jump may have broken anything.
This new toy hauler seems nice for people who would prefer to race something else. Why they’d want to do that, I’m not sure. It just recently started flashing a check engine light at me, right after I hooned it for a little video project some friends are working on (starts around the 5min mark):
I’m pretty sure I replaced one spark plug and ignition coil when I got it, but I believe it is running on 3 cylinders right now so I should really replace all 4. It will happen at some point this winter, I want it to be ready for another season of hX.
This morning, we learned that Jason pronounces the name of the Gorillaz Geep with a hard ‘G’, and this opened up a can of worms. Here’s No Kids, Just Bikes:
I sent your pronunciation to my friend that incorrectly pronounces gif and he replied that the U in SCUBA stands for ‘underwater’. So I guess now I will pronounce that ‘scubba’.
Uh oh, here comes Ian McClure!
You’re allowed to pronounce GIF with a hard G, as long as you also pronounce JPG as “Jay-Fegg”, because the “P” stands for “Photographic”.
(edit) Also, PNG as “pin-guh” instead of “ping”. Seriously, insisting acronoyms be pronounced according to the words they stand for is a dumb argument.
Also, contributor Mark Tucker has an important message for the films that put static cars on trailers:
Memo to Hollywood: If you’re going to use one of these things on a car with a column shift, put the goddamn lever down into Drive. I’m so sick and tired of seeing the shift lever poking over the top of the dash in the Park position when the car is “moving.”
Have a great evening, everyone!
i own an ’06 scion xb. these things are like cockroaches, all over the place, scurrying around hither and yon. someone took the best pieces from the toyota line up and created a little, practical piece of automotive engineering. you can putter around all day like any eco-box, but if you exceed 4 grand on the tach, you unleash a beast (of sorts). my little white toaster has over 240,000 miles on it, hard miles not that easy city driving stuff. we’re talking 70 to 80 mph for long periods of time on the highway. it has carried motorscooters, dawgs, groceries and old people. this critter was bought because it was the easiest car on the lot to get in and out of, while still giving great fuel mileage. i bought it cheap, since then it has gone up in value, seems there’s some kind of car cult following. this should have been designed as a hybrid, so much interior room and really rather simple in design of the mechanicals. it’s not a porsche in the curves, the shifting is just adequate, but it keeps running no matter the weather. a shame scion died off, but that gen 2 does look kinda ugly.
Pretty sure it will be the least important part of your day how someone mispronounces some acronym. If its not, I am sorry for you.
The “what is this?” platform is a stripped and modified GMC Motorhome that’s used for this kind of thing in Hollywood. Note the unique rear suspension.
Just wanted to let you know that I’ve emailed the “contact us” several times to give you, an editor or reporter an opportunity to see our van on a test track. yet I’ve not heard back for you on this. You need an editor reporter on the east coast to contact me (via my account email) for all the details. You have less than 1 week to get back to me on this or miss your chance to see our 2020 performance oriented Transit Connect on a racetrack. Time is ticking as I’ve contacted other automotive magazines about this opportunity. https://medium.com/@FlordPerformance
Try reaching out to Matt if you’re on the Discord. Mercedes is in Illinois, I think she is the closest Midwest Autopian ever since David moved. Also you can try the “Tips” email address, they recently posted an article about it.
https://www.theautopian.com/one-huge-way-you-can-help-the-autopian-send-us-tips-of-cool-car-stuff-you-find-online-or-in-real-life/
Autopian Discord – https://discord.gg/K6kc2Xzn
I’m pretty sure the G in GIF is pronounced the way you would pronounce it in “gin gimlet”.
*Seriously Important Michigan Person*…are you calling them a simp?
Probably.
Given that English is the shower drain of languages and that, according to MCU Thor, “All words are made up”, the following should be taken with a grain of salt:
PNG and JPG are initialisms, not acronyms. They were never intended to be read as a word. S.C.U.B.A., D.A.R.E, and FOMO are acronyms, and should be read as such. People will know what you mean. The acronym has become the word, and its definition is the series of words to which it refers. The word then makes sense.
If enough people decide that SCUBA is pronounced “scubba”, then that is what it is. There is, however, no rule that says the word “scubba” can’t be pronounced as “scuba.” So, there is that.
“Jay-Peg”, “Gyph”, and “PeeEnGee” are starting to cross from initialism to word. As they do so, the people that get angry about how it is pronounced are the problem. The purpose of communication is to convey clear thoughts, not to judge a person’s intelligence or socioeconomic status based on how they say words.
Be clear about your intent and do your best; this shit isn’t Latin.
I’ve driven the Test Car to Detroit twice since acquiring it, and both times I’ve been very tempted to temporarily park it back in front of *Seriously Important Michigan Person*’s house and do a little ding dong ditch. The only thing that stopped me is the very real possibility that I’d actually get the cops called on me.
I am so intrigued by the identity of the Seriously Important Michigan Person.
Dan Campbell? Dan Gilbert? Carmen Harlan?
Probably Dan Campbell. Man’s a Saint at this point!
I’m a little queasy in the morning anyway – but the thought of how bad rotten spaghetti must smell inside the test car made me a little green in the gills. I hope Buzz pressure washed the interior of that thing
It was thoroughly shampooed. It actually smells quite nice now. I may still gut the interior (because racecar, but also because I’ve abused this thing enough that it shouldn’t carry passengers).
Oh good. That makes me feel better. Rock on!
I’ve been in it. I can confirm, it’s actually fine inside now. I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t know.
A guy I work with met one of the guys who developed the GIF format at a computer convention back in the 1900s, and said he told him it’s pronounced with the Graphics G, not the JIF G. That’s how I was pronouncing it anyways because it’s not peanut butter and we have to keep these things distinct.
In the UK, Jif is a bathroom cleaner, so the peanut butter with the same name has always conjured up a soapy taste in my mind.
I would read a whole article about what has happened to the test car since Detroit. How did buzz even get it?
A bomb squad was almost called, let’s just say that.
So that’s how journalists get exclusive information…
It’s the only way these cars would elicit any attention. I have the same car and feel like I have the power of invisibility.
That’s a crappy power when you’re in traffic. I’d see if I could get a new power if I were you.