I’m Renting Valtteri Bottas’s Ute And It’s Going To Be Awesome

If you told me I’d be driving Valtteri Bottas’s car in a few weeks, I’d be freaking out. Not only because I’d be one of the handful of souls to ever drive a Formula 1 car, but because I don’t have the skills or the body to handle it. As it turns out, I will not be driving Bottas’s race car, but his second car. Thankfully for me, it’s an altogether less intimidating Holden ute.

It’s all down to a promotion for Uber CarShare in Australia. Corporate promotions are usually lame and uninspired, but this is a fun one that somehow slipped through the cracks. Uber built Valtteri a truly Australian vehicle, and now he’s renting it out to the public. Sounds expensive, right? Actually, no! “You can rent it for free, because I am very rich already,” says Valtteri in the ad. It’s good to hear he’s doing well.

I saw the ad for this in the mid-afternoon, I chuckled to myself, and moved on with my day. Three hours later, Matt’s on the blower asking if Laurence or I could rent this thing. “Oh shit!” I thought to myself. “Why didn’t I think of that!?” I figured it’d take me a couple of seconds to dial it up on the Uber Carshare app. Thanks to Valtteri’s star power, though, it was a little more complicated.

Meat pie warmer? ✅ Budgie Smuggler clothes line? ✅ Kookaburra horn? ✅

Your first car could NEVER… So we made a second car that could. Purpose built for an Aussie road trip.@Uber_Australia #UberCarShare pic.twitter.com/2AkyvBYYUu

— Valtteri Bottas (@ValtteriBottas) March 20, 2024

Now, if you haven’t been on the Bottas hype boat the last few years, you might find this ad confusing. Here’s the deal. Bottas is in a relationship with Tiffany Cromwell, a South Australian professional cyclist. It’s given him a close connection with the country and he visits regularly. He’s even been to Adelaide, which most F1 drivers have forgotten about since 1995. He’s also adopted the local culture, too. He proudly sports a mullet, dons his budgie smugglers, and he’s even learned to stomach the poisonous local lager known as VB.

In turn, Bottas’s ute is outfitted with lots of uniquely Aussie features. It’s got a bike rack, fishing rod holders, and roof racks, of course. But it’s also got thong storage, a pie warmer, and a shower on the back for washing off at the beach.

I have some suspicions not all of these features will be on the car when I pick it up from Uber Carshare in a few weeks time. It would be hilarious trying to see past the clothesline on the road, for example. Regardless, the prospect of renting a bright blue Holden ute with a vague connection to an F1 driver has me excited. It got me rushing into the app just as Uber intended.

There was just one problem. Valtteri Bottas is a Very Famous Racing Driver as the ad suggests. That means his ute was in high demand right from the get-go.

I fumbled and fussed with the calendar but so many days were already blocked out! Aussies love a ute, especially when it’s free and has a vaguely Finnish connection. I persevered though, and after submitting a few times, I finally got a booking through. The stars had aligned. I would be driving the ute.

This is gonna be good. https://t.co/6x82PMXHKf pic.twitter.com/nQYaAdg7Kq

— Lewin S. Day (@rainbowdefault) March 20, 2024

You might say that this is just a cold-hearted promotional effort and that Bottas has very little to do with it. To that, I say… yeah. You’re right. It’s not really his ute. But that’s him sitting in it, right in the ad! And it’s blue! And it’s fun! You don’t hate fun, do you?

Honestly, I’m gonna trip down to Melbourne, drive around in a bright-ass ute, and have a damn good day doing it. As a car journalist, these are what we call the good days. The ones where you’re not shackled to the laptop and the news cycle. The ones where you’re actually in a car, doing what you do best. This is why we get into this field!

I should state, too, that we’re in no way being paid for this by Uber. We just saw this ad and wanted a piece of the action. Sometimes you gotta let yourself enjoy things!

Next month, you can expect a full review of Bottas’s second car. I’ll be driving it around suburban Melbourne, and maybe even out to the sticks if conditions permit. Most of all, I’m interested to see just what Uber managed to pack into this thing, or if all the goofy features were just for the TV spot. All I can say is I’m genuinely excited and ready to have a right old laugh.

Image credits: Uber Carshare