Home » Inside You There Are Two Saab Drivers: Cold Start

Inside You There Are Two Saab Drivers: Cold Start

Cs 2ssabdrivers
ADVERTISEMENT

Inside you are two Saab drivers. One is going in reverse. The other is also going in reverse. You are going in reverse.

Cs Saabmen

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Inside you are two Saab drivers. One has picked blue interior upholstery and wears a suit and tie, like Carl Jung. The other has selected a kelly green interior and wears a turtleneck and blazer, like Carl Sagan. They both probably work for a community college. One day you must decide which Saab driver/Carl/community college employee you are or are meant to be. Today is not that day.

Cs Saabdriver2

Outside you is one more Saab driver. His eyes are icy blue, like his Saab 99GL, and he’s coming for you. Your two Saab drivers inside you are reversing, perpetually; this one drives forward. You must not let him find you. You must be more clever, more swift, more cunning, more able. One day, he will find you, but you can choose where and when.

ADVERTISEMENT

Cs Saabseats

Also, look at this fabulous Saab interior; it feels like the car seat version of Tudor architecture.

May your two interior Saab drivers guide you carefully and true today.

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
34 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Strangek
Strangek
1 year ago

Damn. I work at a community college. I need to start shopping Saabs. I want green seats, but I don’t want a turtleneck. Is that against the rules?

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

Do these professors go on Saabatical?

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

take your damn star.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
1 year ago

“Inside you are two Saab drivers. One is going in reverse. The other is also going in reverse.”

I wouldn’t have guessed this to be true but I admit it does help explain my poor lap times.

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

Inside you are two Cadillac drivers; One is Barry White. The other is Barry Gibb.

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 year ago
Reply to  Dale Mitchell

I could only aspire to be Barry White. Sadly I will never, ever be cool enough to pull that off. I’m also not pretty or talented enough to pull off peak-era Barry Gibb.

Swedish Jeep
Swedish Jeep
1 year ago

As a multiple Saab owner and driver, I can say I’ve never owned a turtleneck or a blazer with elbow pads….. I did, for a semester in grad school teach Sociology 153….. Damn you!!!

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
1 year ago
Reply to  Swedish Jeep

My sympathies. I’m glad we’re on the quarter system instead.

Timohb
Timohb
1 year ago

You’re a hoot!!!

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago

Be honest with yourself Jason – if your back seat was as handsome as that mock-Tudor Saab, you’d be admiring it over your shoulder too.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
1 year ago

Okay, fine, I’ll take the hint and drive my 96 to campus today. I’ll warn you that my attire is more along the lines of “slovenly geology instructor” for reasons that I suppose are self-evident. Suits, ties, turtlenecks, and blazers do not feature prominently in my wardrobe. I do have a suit somewhere… Also the car’s interior consists of a racing seat, a five-point harness, and a fire suppression system, but, given the condition of the original materials when the car was pulled out of a farmer’s field around twenty years ago, this isn’t as much of a loss as one might think.

At least I can usually get a good spot in the parking garage.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51539214093_a7df39f6f3_c.jpg

Beer-light Guidance
Beer-light Guidance
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

I’m usually not a fan of “patina” but that car kicks all sorts of ass.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
1 year ago

Thanks! If it makes you feel better I did finally get around to repainting the numbers before last year’s Lemons Rally in California. I even washed it first this time around so the paint would have a better chance of sticking:

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52245473961_5140cef22c_c.jpg

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

That is awesome

Gilbert Wham
Gilbert Wham
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

That Saab has major Fallout vibes, and is all the better for it.

Scott
Scott
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

I’ve got to agree w/Beer-light Guidance: had a seen something that cool in the parking lot of the community college I went to before moving on to a much costlier 4-year school, I’d have inquired as to which professor owned that car, and then immediately registered in whatever class they taught.

Your old Saab is awesome! Thanks for sharing it with us. 🙂

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
1 year ago

The guy in the turtle neck is looking back at the guy in the suit disgusted by his embarrassing actions and the guy in the suit responds with his own look back while muttering, “Who did that? Wasn’t me.”.

Harris K Telemacher
Harris K Telemacher
1 year ago

Is it just me, or are the “two” drivers going in reverse the same model? Looks like the same guy to me, just with gray hair in one ad. The younger version looks happier, looking forward to the new career he just started, backing into his assigned parking space at Stockholm University, ready to shape young minds and foster the next generation of free thinkers. The older version looks a little less happy, no smile, looking at the small box in his backseat, filled with trinkets that he cleared out from his desk, as he backs out of his assigned parking space for the last time, after being fired for sleeping with an undergrad.

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago

You can fight me on it if you want, but vintage SAAB interiors are some of the best there ever were. Nothing screams thriftshop tweed jacket with some library smell like they do.

Hammerstump
Hammerstump
1 year ago

I can’t help but hear William S. Burroughs voice in this post.
https://youtu.be/GAowqA-g7oo?t=22

Lokki
Lokki
1 year ago

No one knows what it’s like
To be a SAAB man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it’s like
To be unsated
Because you’re fated
To driving only Chevrolets

My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
1 year ago

I drive a Corvette. The only Saab driver in me is the one I ate for breakfast.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
1 year ago

According to this publication, which bears the seal of approval of no less than the Comics Code Authority, the pertinent question in this situation concerns the nature of the driving surface:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sOvFiLU49Ho/UF1lrNXG0CI/AAAAAAAAHs8/7twRvzgorbQ/s1600/saab-vs-corvette-stingray.jpg

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

You don’t drive a Corvette, you wear it like a condom.

Drew
Drew
1 year ago

Blue eyes doesn’t care about either Carl’s Saab story. They’ll get no pity from him.

Slower Louder
Slower Louder
1 year ago

They are looking to the rear because they must park their cars in Reverse, every day of their lives.

DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
1 year ago

I must digress and imply there is a another Carl option…
Carl Brutananadilewski
He has a twelve pack, sweats, flip-flops and loves air-guitar. He reverse…..forward.

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
1 year ago

Icy Blue Eyes is coming for the Community College Boys from the opposite end of a dark, narrow alley. Their only escape is to reverse. Suit guy thinks this a fun adventure that will end in a J-turn. Turtleneck guy is more perturbed. He’s met Icy Blue Eyes before. As when running from a bear, he only has to be faster than his companion.

Last edited 1 year ago by Flyingstitch
FlyingMonstera
FlyingMonstera
1 year ago

My godfather had a 99EMS with that interior although I remember it being browner. All the benefits of a cloth interior lost because the vinyl strips would magically find a way to make contact with your legs in summer and inflict third degree burns.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 year ago

I also enjoy how only one of them is wearing a seatbelt. The other is apparently in a 1980s tv action/adventure show that was always at least 40% tire squealing, powersliding car chases but 0% safety for anything (even cardboard boxes) in the vicinity. I miss those.

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
1 year ago

I thought I only had one not yet fully flourished SAAB driver in me. So thanks!

But you are right: One is driving a 1967 96 V4 on small country roads, and the other is driving a 1991 900 4-door on the highway. So many decisions!

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
1 year ago

-I mean Saab. SORRY 😉

4jim
4jim
1 year ago

The only SAAB driver in be is the one that, if I had a bit more disposable income, would have a Sonett, is some wild bright color in my garage.

Jesus Helicoptering Christ
Jesus Helicoptering Christ
1 year ago

Are two people driving backwards better than one person driving forwards?

In a demolition derby… yes.

34
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x