Isuzu Wants You To Bone In The D-Max Pickup, Happy Valentines Day

How do you advertise a pickup truck? You could talk about its towing capability, or the utility of the bed. Maybe you mention the well-appointed interior. Or, if you’re Isuzu’s UK arm, you could announce, loud and proud to the world, that your pickup truck is the perfect place to get down and dirty this Valentine’s Day.

Surely, we’ve misinterpreted, right? But, no. Isuzu really did go for it this year. “D-MAX and Chill” says the Japanese automaker, suggesting its mid-sized pickup is the perfect flimsy excuse to bone.

On the surface of it, Isuzu is just pitching its idea of a lovely Valentine’s Day date. It’s published a ten-step guide for a “perfect picnic,” which could be a great boon to an inexperienced D-Max owner working on their love game. But Isuzu isn’t coy, either. They know what you really want to do when the sun goes down.

Some of the tips are pretty basic, like Isuzu suggesting you pick a D-Max as your ride so you don’t get stranded in something unreliable. It also touts the benefits of the truck’s optional fridge and ample storage space. Sure, okay. But others are more suggestive. Like Step 3:

Comfort is Key: Lay out a cosy blanket and cushions in the bed of your D-Max for a comfortable seating arrangement. The spacious cargo area provides the perfect setup for an intimate and relaxing experience.

We all love a good intimate experience, indeed. Then there’s step 6, wherein Isuzu recommends setting the mood with a little musical accompaniment Don’t worry—they’ve curated a playlist, too. Tracks like Let’s Get It On and Sexual Healing don’t leave much room for ambiguity, while Thank You For Loving Me is a nice way to show some gratitude to your date.

Fair warning, though, I’d go over this with a fine-toothed comb before any planned lovemaking, in your Isuzu or otherwise. The upbeat goofy tones of The Monkees playing  I’m a Believer can jolt one out of the most tender, intimate moments, particularly if you’re suffering from a recent rewatch of Shrek. Yes, I’m fully aware that the movie used a cover by Smash Mouth, and yes, on Valentine’s Day, you’re probably trying to smash mouth as much as possible. But I’d personally rule out any song from an ogre film when I’m shooting for romance.

Isuzu is also asking you to capture the moment, sharing your “romantic moments” with the brand on social media. All I’d say to Isuzu’s team is that you should be careful what you wish for.

It bears noting that Isuzu has form in this area, too. Today, it has the D-Max, clearly the perfect name for a pickup in a Valentine’s Day campaign. Jump back a ways, though, and Isuzu was also the manufacturer behind the Chevrolet LUV, affectionately known as the “Love Truck.”

If you’re wondering where this new sexy marketing thrust comes from, it’s been signed off by none other than George Wallis, Isuzu’s UK head of marketing. “It’s not just a vehicle; it’s a love chariot that drives ordinary dates into off-road adventures,” said Wallis in the press release. “Whether you’re navigating city streets or off-the-beaten-path, our pick-up promises to carry both the weight of your affection and loads of excitement. Love is an adventure, and with the Isuzu D-Max, every journey ensures your love life will pick up.”

There’s plenty to chuckle at there, because hey—we’ve all dealt with loads of excitement on Valentine’s Day. But furthermore, it seems bold to state that every journey in an Isuzu D-Max “ensures” your love life will improve. If that were the case, you’d think hard up singles would just be dailying D-Maxes in an attempt to wed before the next harvest moon. You could take a great marriage and turn into an exceptional one with a couple of road trips.

Indeed, if we assume the more journeys you take, the more your love live picks up, the D-Max could indeed be dangerous. Drive it too much and you might find yourself subject to all kinds of chafing problems.

I kid, but Isuzu is kind of doing a public service here. A step-by-step guide for a nice date is something that many of us could have used at one time or another [Ed note: We are not calling out anyone in particular, here. – MH]. Plus, their points are valid—the D-Max is a great vehicle for getting away to somewhere picturesque and quiet. Furthermore, their idea to deck out your pickup bed with pillows and fairy lights is a very cute one. We’d rule out the candles, though. It only takes one clumsy attempt at a cuddle to knock one over and suddenly you’re covered in wax and your date is on fire.

Tip of the hat to Isuzu for being bold enough to show some cheek this Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s time to rent a D-Max and do a bit of the same. Have a ball out there, lovebirds, and hose out the tray when you’re done, yeah?

Image credits: Isuzu