Mercedes is trying to travel with all this weather mess and David is about 900 feet underwater attempting to finish both Project Cactus and somehow pack so he can move to Los Angeles while his garage freezes. This is all a way of saying that: I am doing Comment of the Day.
Earlier today, David explained his plan for transporting his first round of cars to LA from Detroit in an epic roadtrip with Otto and Jason. I am skeptical of this plan for many reasons, but misery is great content so I’m looking forward to reading about it. Plus, I adore Jason and Otto and any time spent with them is worth whatever inevitable hassle they may face.
I would not, however, confuse Jason and my Lord-and-Savior, Jesus Christ, which is more than I can say for Man With A Reliable Jeep:
As a practicing Lutheran (shout out Frozen Chosen!) I guess this should bother me? But as the Publisher of this site and, ultimately, the person responsible for making us enough money to stick around (work-in-progress), there’s probably a huge upside to all of you confusing those two from a monetary standpoint. So let’s Joel Osteen it up! Your cars will never die if you GIVE, GIVE, GIVE to the Holy Jason.
Dude. It’s right there in the Small Catechism.
“J-man was born on December 25th.”
What does this mean?
We should fear and love God and celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jason Torchinsky, by downing boxes of chocolates, calling our families and working on hopelessly failed projects.
I thought you said you were a practicing Lutheran…
He’s still practicing! Give him time!
Personally, I think Lutheranism is about singing, coffee hour, potlucks, and beer. I think there was some Sunday storytime in there as well.
(Yes, I was raised Lutheran. Thankfully ELCA, which was more casual.)
Is Ford ownership still mandatory, or was that only ever in Lake Wobegon?
This is why we hang taillights on our tree as ornaments.
As someone who loves Jesus and Jason, shouldn’t this pic be for Easter? What we needed was a picture of baby Jason (no crying he makes) in the manger surrounded by the nativity scene!
Finally being off work, I joined as a member today as my Christmas/hanukkah gift to this site and those who support it. Best group of automotive writers and just as important, readers and commenters. Happy holidays everyone!
It’s the first example of what we now know better as the Sitcom Living Room.
Made an account only because I never imagined I’d see “Frozen Chosen” referenced on my favorite car news website (coming from a PCA guy). Absolutely hilarious.
I haven’t heard the phrase for decades-possibly since I left the Midwest.
And, now I kinda want some lutefisk
It’s actually just because of this that I’m finding out it WASN’T referring to JT….. I just assumed….
That image needs to become a member’s shirt 🙂
Trust in our Lady of the Holy Tail Lights. Let her shine as a beacon of hope in a sea of generic lights. Let it be known that a car with 50hp is enough, though you shall have the holy right to have more.
I’d buy one.
When DT asked me for my reaction to the prospect of this present venture, I told him it was a great idea but that he had to get Torch on board because a National Treasure. I still feel he is, but savior of man, probably not. His hair’s too weird for that.
Hey, Jason’s even mentioned by contemporary sources and the most likely author of articles with his byline! If I’m gonna believe in a big J name, this one requires less faith.
Hmmm- David’s life is definitely Old Testament, while Jason is pretty New Testament. Adrian is King James Bible, and Mercedes is “didn’t make it to Church because we we out camping”. Matt? Hmm. I’m thinking Unitarian, “living out his Principles within a “living tradition” of wisdom and spirituality, drawn from sources as diverse as science, poetry, scripture, and personal experience, and the occasional car brochure.
King James Bible? King James Bible? I’m the guy who lives downstairs with the pitchforks and the delicious, delicious sin!
Ohhhh, C of E!
The motto of the Church of England is “Eternal damnation or cake, your choice.”
Oops – apparently I made a typo (it happens) – I was actually meant this bible:
https://www.antiquetrader.com/collectibles/misprint-in-wicked-bible-endorses-hanky-panky
Scene in my head part ?/?
A sunny afternoon in Jerusalem, Jason is speaking to the gathered crowd.
Jason: Thou shall not cover thy neighbor’s taillights.
Random guy in the crowd: Hey man, I thought you were taller.
Jason: are you fucking kidding me right now?
Covet*
I mean I guess cover works too. Stupid autocorrect.
Don’t go covering your neighbor’s taillights, that could create a real safety issue!
If this isn’t cotd then there truly is no god
>As a practicing Lutheran
*side eye* Evangelical or Missouri Synod?
Wisconsin Synod…perhaps?
Wait, there’s a Wisconsin Synod, too?
Yep, the Wisconsin Synod split from the other two because the wanted to marry their cousins.
Evangelical: We play guitar music and everyone can be a leader in the church
Missouri Synod: We play pipe organ music and only men can be leaders in the church
Wisconsin Synod: We play non-spicy pipe organ music and…will someone shut that woman up??
Genuinely had the same thought as that comment.
This is the greatest day of my life.
Now, if you all don’t mind, I have some Hail Marys to say…
I had to scroll back up to make sure the byline wasn’t someone named Mary.
Thinking about Otto going on this trip. That kid’s gonna have a bunch of really good stories when he gets to college. IMHO, that’s a good part of raising a kid, give them lots of life experiences. Good work Torch, you may not be “The Lord & Savior”, but you’re a solid Dad from where I sit.
Jason starts with a J and is Jewish.
Jesus starts with a J and was Jewish.
Coincidence, I think not.
Hannukah Sameach to all our Jewish friends out there and let the latkes be tasty and the sour cream fresh!
As a grocery-store worker, I can tell you the sour cream is definitely fresh, it flies off the shelves this time of year!
Not as fast as the cream cheese, though, the first two units I put my hands on went straight from the pallet to a waiting customer without ever touching the shelf.
“As a grocery-store worker…”
You’re doing the Lord’s work this holiday season, dear Grocery Store Worker. Or is it Jason’s work?
Generations of faith-based automotive writers will puzzle over this conundrum for centuries to come.
Good luck booking a council room in Nicaea this time of year.
As my alter ego, Captain Pedantic, I have to be “that guy” and point out David is moving *from* Detroit, not *to* it as mentioned in both paragraphs one ands two.
That should have been “one and two.” not “one ands two.” No one escapes my annoying gaze, not even me.
Muphry’s Law strikes again!
I see what you did three!
Lol, fixed. Thank you.
However it turns out, this will be a road trip of biblical proportions.
David’s penchant for self torture never gets old, and Torch going along for the ride to write the comedy is on brand.
But why subject young Otto to two weeks of sleeping in AutoZone parking lots in the back of the Jeep while DT wrenches on the Mustang without his frozen tools?
It’s going to be educational for Otto. In the future, when he’s old enough to buy his own car, he’ll look at a rusty old jeep, shudder, and go buy something that won’t leave him stranded.
Those are memories that will last a lifetime, struggles are what make us who we are.
The only question is how log his lifetime will be (ie, will he even make it to LA?).
This is a banquet I would gladly attend.
Guy in the blue, second from the right, looks like he saying “Who TF is this guy?!?!”
Same issue here but dont mind the small effort.
When you screenshot the comments they become essentially unreadable on my phone. I could pinch-zoom and then scroll horizontally back-and-forth as I try to read each line I guess, but it hardly seems worth it. Is there any reason you can’t just copy and paste the actual text?