If I were asked to pick one thing that humans hated almost universally, perhaps by some supervillain friend looking for exciting new torture ideas, I bet pop-up ads would be a pretty good answer. Everyone hates pop-up ads. We’ve hated them since the very start of widespread internet access, and we haven’t stopped. Really, I can’t think of a quicker way to incur the wrath of nearly every human, across all cultural, political, and linguistic boundaries than to stick pop-up ads on something. That may be why I was so surprised to see posts about how a freaking extended warranty full-screen pop-up ad was showing up on Jeep center-stack screens. What the hell, Jeep? Are you serious with this shit?
Now, since I’m a journalist, or at least close enough, I decided that I should at least get Stellantis/Jeep’s side of things instead of doing what I felt like doing, which was tapping a lawn sprinkler into a gas line and setting the entire world on fire. That’s just the magic of pop-up ads at work, nothing to be worried about.
Here are the posts I saw showing these pop-up ads, both on Jeeps, and both posted to Reddit’s r/assholedesign forum:
Posts from the assholedesign
community on Reddit
… and then this one:
s
Jeep puts ads on the fucking screen in my car.
byu/Dunkinmydonuts1 inassholedesign
Wow. It’s real. It’s terrifying. It’s a full-screen, block-everything ad, with options to place a Bluetooth call if you, I suppose, want the damn FlexCare Extended Care Premium plan (as long as you have less than 36,000 miles), and then an X button to ideally close the window, and an OK button which … I’m not sure what that does. Does it just close the window, too? Or does OK mean yes, gimme that extended warranty? It’s not really clear.
One of the posters noted that the message appears every time the car stops, even if they hit the OK button. That would drive me positively clamshit. Notably absent is any sort of “never show me this ad again, dammit” button, or any sort of similar opt-out control.
Can this be real? Would Stellantis do something so woefully misguided and annoying? I reached out to our Stellantis/Jeep contact to ask and was initially told that they were “investigating” on their end, which to me felt like a stalling tactic while the proper ass-covering plans were conceived.
I eventually got this response from a Stellantis spokesperson:
This was an in-vehicle message designed to inform Jeep customers about Mopar extended vehicle care options. A temporary software glitch affected the ability to instantly opt out in a few isolated cases, though instant opt-out is the standard for all our in-vehicle messages. Our team had already identified and corrected the error, and we are following up directly with the customer to ensure the matter is fully resolved.
Ohhhhh it was a glitch! Whew, okay, good. I’d hate to think that Jeep would actually subject their customers to such a dystopian annoyance like mothergrabbing pop-up ads on a car they paid good money for. Because that would be cruel and miserable, and likely engender wrathful feelings of everyone who was subjected to it.
I suppose a glitch is possible, though I’ve not seen any examples of this ad popping up with the instant opt-out option available, but I guess it must exist, since not all Jeep owners seem to have had to deal with these ads. I suspect if this was happening to more people than these “few isolated cases” we’ still be cleaning up from the aftermath of the riots and uprisings.
I’m choosing to believe Stellantis in that this was not an intentional start of some test to see if Jeep owners would tolerate this sort of misery, but I hope a lesson was taken away from this glitch situation regardless. That lesson is, simply: don’t.
Don’t do this. Don’t push pop-up ads to our car screens. Nobody deserves that. We’ll fucking revolt, I swear it.
Don’t test us.
Side affects may include vertigo, nausea, and putting your FIST THROUGH A F***ING LCD SCREEN!
Talk to your doctor about Stellantis today!
I really hope it’s not to late for COTD, because this deserves it.
Great decision investigation first. I was on Autopian earlier got an ad off a totally naked dude with small finger covered his junk. I xed it out. I scrolled down and saw it again I reported it. Scrolling down got it again. And yes Autopian offered no option to delete or not seeing the ad again. I know it wasn’t you guys but just like Jeep you don’t have control. I have no idea why naked dude keeps showing up but the ad is for something that I don’t know but allows you to edit photos with bad results. Turns out it was the girls leg not the guys that made it look totally nude. I wonder does anyone track the Autopian site as a visitor as opposed to a employee to check what we get? For example contact anyone is really hidden
We have the site set so that we view it the same way a reader does. That way, we experience the same ads and such you do. If you see an ad that you think shouldn’t be here, screenshot it, get the URL, and then email matt@TheAutopian.com. He’ll tell the robot doing the ads to stop it.
I know this is always a touchy subject, what with the capitalism and all, but – might be good for at least some folks on the team to be experiencing the Full Ads Monty as their daily driver. I get the reader mode too, so I don’t know what the normie experience is, but when I’ve passed y’all off to other places on the internet, I’ve heard some Feedback™ about the ads volume.
Another reason to not have the car connected.
Like I need another reason not to buy a Stellantis product.
To make it up to the affected customers, Stellantis will be giving each a free Hornet. Because that’ll make everything better.
On a somewhat related note, I still listen to over the air radio (*shakes fist at cloud and yells at you to get off my lawn*) and I’ve noticed some radio stations using the RDS data that display on the screen for ads. So friggin lame. Every day we move closer to Idiocracy.
https://scifiinterfaces.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/IDIOCRACY-TV.png
I only listen to over the air radio. How else can the visitors contact me. Really it is too much expense and trouble setting up anything
I had a free trial for satellite radio about decade ago. Didn’t care for it. I listen to the radio. In my truck I still play CDs. In my little banger Corolla I listen to this old thing called a cassette deck!
The text in the header image reminds me of my favourite example of the importance of punctuation. “No please don’t stop”.
Also my safe word is “harder”.
I’ve overshared, sorry.
This is something I would prove if gifs were available on this site. However since not do a search on the Chicago bulls icon. Turn it upside down. Does it look like a robot having sex with a crab? I think it does you are welcome for the laugh.
So, how many grandma’s have you had for dinner?
In Jeep’s defense, you’d be a fool to own a Heep and not have an extended warranty.
I don’t have an extended warranty because I would have voided almost every part of it already. The point of a Jeep is customization and modification.
Exactly I suggest anyone thinking of buying a jeep get a bronco instead and immediately turn it in for the 2 dozen recalls
2 dozen. That seems low for a Ford product lol
The service manager lets you roll a twenty sided die to set the recall multiplier for the next service interval.
“what I felt like doing, which was tapping a lawn sprinkler into a gas line and setting the entire world on fire.”
Talk about owning “torch”. Look, you are a deeply treasured muse, but you are not presidential.
I’d vote for Torch. Assuming that amber turn signal requirements can be enforced through an executive order.
Sure, we all would, if he wasn’t already a benevolent ruler of an island nation.
Didn’t know Jeep had a Panhandler model.
Just as annoying is Android Auto’s decision to give me a tile that says ‘Home’ every time I start the car, and it doesn’t disappear until I swipe it away. Oh, and you have to swipe perfectly, or else it sets your destination to Home and then you have to delete that and the tile pops back up and you try again. BTW, I’m a pizza delivery driver, so I go to 30-50 places a night, and know how to get home. So the tile is just a major annoyance 32-52 times a night. Just make it so I can disable it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s probably in your phone, my Android Auto doesn’t do anything like that.
Mine started doing that about three weeks ago (Pixel 6A and Vauxhall Insignia B) but then it switched to showing me a tile with the last two places I’d been. Better than the previous 4 weeks though when Android Auto had stopped working entirely …
Apple CarPlay sets my soft destination to Home almost whenever I start the car (and I’m not at home). No spoken directions or anything, it’s just guessing I want to go home, and shows me a route and ETA. Or to work, if it’s early morning on a weekday. But it’s correct about 90% of the time (I usually *do* want to go home, even if that’s not my actual destination), so it doesn’t bother me.
That’s your phone, almost certainly. I’ve rented, at some point in the past two years, a car from pretty much every non-luxury automaker (VW is the notable exception). I’ve never seen anything like that
If hypothetically someone were to hook up one of those brass spinny watering dealies to a propane tank, then open the tank valve and light the sprinkler, would it spin really fast while making whooshing rocket sounds and shooting flames?
Because that would be pretty neat.
That’s pretty much what I had in mind!
D’oh! By “gas line” I was thinking “fuel line”, as in liquid petrol spraying out of the sprinkler (which would probably also do something interesting).
Good to see we’re on the same whooshy fiery page!
Could these pop out of the driveway for snow and ice removal?
Oh hell yes. Also useful as neighborhood punk deterrent.
When I was a neighborhood punk, that would have attracted me.
Ugh, I have so many weekend projects already
And I’m sitting here looking for inexpensive brass sprinklers…
(I already have a 20lb propane tank and a 15′ hose)
My mind immediately jumped to a traveling tractor sprinkler.
That would be the most Autopian choice.
You’re gonna need a bigger tank 😮
use only under adult supervision
for outdoor use only
place upright on hard, smooth surface
open gas valve, light sprinkler-head and get away
Tonight On Mythbusters…
Most trial balloons are glitches when they don’t go over well…
Exactly. All this means is that the ratio of warranties sold to customers enraged didn’t hit their goal.
Stellantis – two questions;
1). Do you think anybody – fucking anybody – who is annoyed by this will ever purchase a Stellantis product ever again?
2). Do you think you can really afford to lose a customer who’s already proven willing to purchase a Stellantis product?
Ahem…
WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY!!!
I used to get those fucking calls until I got sick of them and went through to their sales rep and told them what I actually drove at the time: a 16 year old Camry. The rep immediately hung up on my and I haven’t heard back from them 6 years later.
I love the Autopian but I am getting on many articles an extremely annoying pop up with a video, covering text. Just saying. And no, that’s not an incentive to buy any membership.
It’s different when we do it? Somehow?
It’s more charming, I guess.
Also it makes me feel guilty about not joining yet.
The Autopian isn’t really a cult is it?
If I was to answer no, you’d know it was a cult. If I said yes, you’d know it was a cult. It becomes a cult just by asking.
What if I asked “is it not a cult”?
I just want the robes and to get to the next level. The one without the video.
ONE OF US
I don’t see the popup video as a member 🙂
I like to think of my membership as a popup and slideshow protection program. Oh and this year’s shirt is pretty nice. Oh and an Aztek pin!
You should be convinced by now.