Welcome to another Shitbox Showdown! Today, we’re featuring two vehicles from one of the Autopian staff’s favorite marques: BMW. Both of them run just fine, and both, crucially, are manuals.
Yesterday I asked you to to choose your favorite photogenic wreck, not necessarily the car you thought would be easiest to revive. Lots of you took those instructions and threw them out the window, if the comments are any indication. The already-sold Land Rover won, but I don’t think it was because of its patina or the photos of the cobwebs inside. But yes, any old Land Rover can be revived if you throw enough money at it.
As far as the photos go, the Plymouth was the ad I spotted first, and it was sunset over the car wash in the background that got me:
Even without being told, I’d know that picture was taken somewhere in the desert southwest. I love the tone, I love the patterns of rust on the quarter panel, and I love that the chrome at the tip of the tailfin is still so shiny. It’s a beautiful shot of a very, very ugly car.
As I’m sure you all know, lots of folks around here are fans of BMW’s vehicles. Personally, I very much enjoy driving BMWs; I got to drive my dad’s 730i on the Autobahn when he lived in Germany, and it was delightful. But the ownership experience left quite a lot to be desired when my wife and I purchased a lovely sage-green automatic 2005 325i a few years back. It had all the typical E46 deferred maintenance issues: the cracked coolant bottle, the leaking oil filter housing, the constantly failing window regulators, the rattly VANOS solenoid. It also had a shudder from the torque converter every time it went in and out of lockup, at about 45 MPH – and no way to easily change the fluid and filter to see if that helped, because the transmission had “lifetime” fluid, hence no dipstick or fill tube. But when I learned that it was a California-only SULEV car, and what that meant for potential fuel pump problems, we put it up for sale.
I still wouldn’t turn down the right BMW if it came along, but it would have to be an older, simpler model, and it would have to be a manual. Like these two. Let’s check them out.
1989 BMW 535i – $2,900
Engine/drivetrain: 3.4-liter overhead cam inline 6, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: San Mateo, CA
Odometer reading: 297,000 miles
Operational status: “Runs very well and drives smooth”
Let’s get the alphabet soup out of the way first: The chrome “535i” on the back breaks down as 5 Series, 3.5-liter engine (actually rounded up, but if Ford can put “5.0” on the fender of Mustangs with 4,942 CCs of displacement, BMW can round up 3,430 to 3.5), and “i” for fuel injection. In BMW-speak, this translates to an E34 chassis, with an M30B35 engine. Man, the Germans sure do love their alphanumeric codes, don’t they?
This silky-smooth inline six sends its power to the rear wheels through a Getrag five-speed manual gearbox. I’ve driven a car in this spec before, and it’s a delight. This one runs very well, according to the seller, despite nearly 300,000 miles on the car. Apparently, the engine was overhauled at 200,000, so you would expect it to still be spinning happily along.
In fact, the seller was considering parting this car out, but couldn’t do it because it runs so well. It does show its age in a lot of places: the seats are coming apart, and the paint is faded, but it wears its age well, I think. The seller says it “needs” paint, but I think I’d just leave it scruffy. It does need the power locks and air conditioning fixed, however.
I’ve always liked the style of the E34 5 Series, and I think it has aged well. It has all the classic BMW cues: four round headlights, two sensible-sized kidneys in the grille, and a very subtle Hofmeister kink in the rear quarter windows. Despite some of the more recent styling travesties, when I think of a BMW 5 Series, it’s the E34 that I picture.
1995 BMW 318i – $4,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.8-liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Los Osos, CA
Odometer reading: 167,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
And here we have an E36-chassis 3 Series, the replacement for the beloved E30 of the 1980s. This is the entry-level BMW, the one you got when you got your first job as an associate with the big law firm or a junior executive position at the studio. The E36 has been the object of derision among BMW fans for years, but I think its biggest sin is probably just not being an E30.
This is a 318i, the bottom of the E36 range in America, powered by a 1.8 liter twin-cam four. It’s not as smooth as the six, but it’s a good reliable engine that likes to rev. This one also has a five-speed manual. I’ve never driven a 318i with a stick, but I have driven one with an automatic, and even that was a pretty nice car, if a little pokey. I imagine shifting your own gears makes it better. This one has 167,000 miles on its odometer, and “drives wonderfully” according to the seller.
BMW did instrument panels really well in the 80s and 90s: nice clear round gauges, straightforward controls, and a very driver-focused design. Riding shotgun in a BMW makes it very clear who’s in charge. Even the radio is angled towards the driver, but as we all know, the driver picks the music. The passenger, well, you know.
This car looks pretty good in photos, but it also looks like it was just washed, so we’ll take the photos with a grain of salt. It could very well not be that shiny in real life. The headlight lenses are badly clouded, but that seems to be a common occurrence with E36s these days. It’s twenty-nine years old, after all. Luckily, replacements aren’t very expensive at all, so there’s no point in trying to polish them.
BMW’s cars have gotten a reputation for being complicated and fussy to deal with, but these two are from a different era when the cars were much simpler and probably better built. Even better, they’re more mechanical, with less bullshit between you and the road than modern cars. Cheap, fun to drive, generally pretty reliable – what’s not to like? Which one is the Ultimate Driving Machine for you?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
535i. I love me an E34, though the 318i has its merits. I don’t think either is a terrible choice, but I do love a smooth I6.
Having driven a rental 520 wagon on the autobahn, the smaller engines aren’t really a penalty with the 6MT. It wasn’t a rocketship, but it was quite happy at whatever speed it was pushed.
Boy, this one is tough. After sorting out the gremlins in the 535, it will probably be close to a push. I imagine the 535 will probably be m ore fun to drive too. Although I love nice green paint, I’m going 535.
Funny you mention the torque converter in your 325. We had a 2002 with the same issue. Finally, a mechanic said it was an internal leak in the converter and would take a while to “hook up” and go after first starting it. He said it would never get worse but could only be “fixed” with a new transmission,. We ended up selling it later that year and replacing with a new Camry Hybrid. Fine car but boring as hell. No we have a newer 330i and while it does everything well, it’s a little too refined as far as isolation from the road. I kind of wished we had held onto the 325 a bit longer.
I’ve always liked the E36, even though this one isn’t the 318ti (which is one of the coolest cars they ever made), so I voted for the green one.
I had a colleague with the 3-series hatch; he loved it.
Much more useable than the 1-series that followed with it’s notional rear seat.
I had a coworker with a 318ti in green, and it was a sweet, funky car. I have a strong love of the E34, but if the E36 above was a 318ti, it would have gotten my vote.
I’ve owned both an e34 and currently daily an e36.
I went e36. I think it’s a perfect commuter car. Mine is sadly an automatic, but it’s only because I needed a car RIGHT NOW. I’d loved to have waited for an stick, but oh well. It’s slow and not very smooth but gets great gas mileage.
The e34 I had was the worst car I’ve ever owned. It was total trash. Nothing worked: windows, seats, taillights, air, heat. But mine was a 530i with the small V8. The engine was amazing, loved to rev and sounded wonderful, but everything else was junk. It was falling apart around me.
I wanted to vote for the 535, but the 318 is in much better overall condition, half the mileage and is likely to be much cheaper to own for those reasons.
If the 535 at least had seats and paint in better condition, then it would have swung my vote the other way.
Never forget that a cheap BMW can be the most expensive car you’ll ever own. So if you’re gonna get a cheap one, get a more simple one like that 318.
I had a manual 318i just like that with the ugly wheel covers and everything. It was the 2nd car I ever bought myself. I always felt like a poseur driving a BMW without a 6 cyl and with cloth seats. I traded it in on an Altima after someone stole the stereo out of it.
Regardless of purchase price, I’d imagine they’re on common footing for maintenance costs. Based on look, I’m going with the 535. Dunno if I’d start looking for better seats or just whip some cheap-skin covers over them.
$4500 for a 318i? They’re smoking something and it’s not tires.
I’ll take the 5er any day.
There is just something about the design of the 80’s era BMWs. Bonus that the 80s was when the Germans really earned their reputation for building quality cars rather than the tech-laden nightmares they produce now. Not that the 3 falls into the later category, but the 5 just hits the magic spot.
Tough call between the i6 and the prettier car. The 3 series just looks better to me and I love the green. Guess I’ll take it.
6 cylinders is the correct number of cylinders for a BMW. Plus it’s cheaper!
535i all the way.
As an aside; I have experienced (as a passenger) an M30B35 complete with a manual box and a very aggressive clutch and flywheel setup all shoved into an E30 touring shell. It was rather amusing.
Hmm, 5 series vs 3 series, 6cyl vs 4cyl, AND it’s cheaper? We’re going 80s allllll day long here.
Red over black E34 with rack & pinion steering and a manual transmission for under $3k? Red wins today’s Christmas color challenge.
I chose the 318, but it was close….
I’d like both, but in the long run probably couldn’t afford either as the maintenance and wear issues came along. Both get Bonus Points for manual transmissions, and for being BMWs which, in my experience are delightful. Haven’t had to pay for major parts or repairs, though.
I love E34s, and if I recall correctly, the M30 has a pretty good reputation. Even though the seats are thrashed, I think you’re still less likely to have to use the hot glue gun on the interior of the E34 vs. E36. Take the cheap red one and see if you can find some replacement seats.
Well, these are the two opposite ends of my BMW regret spectrum. Except my E36 was a 323 (which was a 2.5 litre because fuck you BMW marketing team) with the right number of cylinders and doors.
My E36 was dogshit.
My E34 535 was glorious.
Need more greens in my diet. E36, today.
exactly why I chose it, its the “correct color” green!
Got to vote for the green machine today.
I regret to turn against an E36 but, everything except the seats in the 5 series looks better. Besides, a red 80s bimmer has far more cache just by default.
That’s the same reason I voted red.
*”am loathe”
There’s not a bad pick here, but we’ll take the E36 because we’re a sucker for green cars, and because the interior of the 5er put me off.
535 has better combination of price and benefits if the seller is telling the truth about driving condition. It is easier to make it great again in my opinion.
Interior is wrong in the 318. It is lighter than it should be. Darker brown would be a better fit.
The better car is cheaper. I’ll take the 5 series.
The e34 has never really done it for me, especially since the e28 preceding it was just absolutely gorgeous. That and the e36 is really starting to grow on me, even if this example is a bit overpriced, I’d rather deal with the smaller and lower mileage e36.
I’ll go with the lower entry cost and a BMW I6 under the hood. A couple of cheap and poorly fit seat covers would be the cherry on top for this car’s big slacker energy. This is the Dude’s version of a BMW.