Just Some Things I Thought Looked Cool: 1970 Dodge Van vs 1999 Chevy Blazer

Today on Shitbox Showdown, I don’t have a theme, or a price range. Sometimes I just find two vehicles that catch my eye, and I can’t find mates for either of them, so we end up with an odd couple. This time, it’s not even apples and oranges; it’s apples and Brussels sprouts, or something.

Yesterday we looked at a couple of strippers, the kind that you don’t get in trouble for looking at on your work computer. Plain was the flavor of the day, but many of you took it upon yourselves to see one of the cars not for what it was, but what it could become in the hands of a talented and dedicated owner. That Zephyr, being a Fox body at heart, has a deep and wide aftermarket of parts to make it go much faster and handle much better.

So I guess I’m not surprised that it won, but I’m going to swim against the stream and choose the Cutlass. I’m just not an engine-swap kind of guy; I like to think about such things, but I know I’d never follow through on it. So I’d rather have the two-door with fuel injection, and just maintain it as-is.

All right; let’s take a look at the sort of camper that Scooby-Doo and his friends might drive, and an off-road-ready compact two-door SUV. I told you it was a mismatched pair. Here they are.

1970 Dodge Oasis Surfside camper van – $1,700

Engine/drivetrain: 318 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Pahrump, NV

Odometer reading: 100,000 miles

Operational status: Ad says not running, but also says rebuilt engine…?

It’s rare for me to find a car I haven’t seen at least somewhere before, so when I come across one, it grabs my attention. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an RV based on a Dodge A-series van before, at least not one this large. The seller says it’s rare, and they’re not kidding; a search turns up very little information, and not many photos that aren’t of this exact van. Oasis built all kinds of other campers, both trailers and RVs, but not a whole lot of these. It looks like a fiberglass roof and tail section grafted onto an A108 cargo van, and I kind of like how the transformation turned out.

The engine in the A-series vans is in a box between the front seats. In this case it’s a 318 V8, connected to a Torqueflite automatic. The seller says the engine has been rebuilt, but it sure doesn’t look like it – unless it was rebuilt in 1980 or so. It doesn’t run, and the wiring is incomplete. At least it’s a common drivetrain, so if the engine is toast, a replacement shouldn’t be hard to find.

The interior needs to be completely redone, of course. But here, the rarity works in your favor; nobody has any idea what these things are supposed to look like inside, so you can fix it up however you want. By the way, the dashboard is included; it has just been removed for refinishing and rewiring.

Outside, it’s got cool styling, mag wheels, and zero rust. You could have a lot of fun with this thing, with some elbow grease and imagination. And the price of entry is right.

1999 Chevrolet Blazer ZR2 – $4,950

Engine/drivetrain: 4.3-liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, part-time 4WD

Location: Whittier, CA

Odometer reading: 230,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives great

It wasn’t long after the SUV craze kicked into high gear that the two-door variants began to disappear. The imported SUVs from Toyota and Nissan grew an extra pair of doors to avoid the “chicken tax,” since four-door SUVs were classified as cars, not trucks. Buyers loved the extra practicality, so Ford and GM added four-door versions to their lineups as well. But the two-doors hung around, usually sold as either sporty models, or in this case, a more serious off-road version.

The ZR2 version of Chevy’s Blazer is more than just badges and fender flares; it has a wider frame and axles than the standard Blazer, more ground clearance, lower axle ratios, and lots of other heavy-duty parts to make it more formidable off-road. I’ve never driven an S-10 Blazer off road, so I can’t say if these enhancements help, but I can say both the standard Blazer and the ZR2 are absolute beasts in the snow. Power comes from my old friend the 4.3 liter V6, along with a 4L60-E automatic and an electronically-controlled transfer case. The seller says it runs great, despite having 230,000 miles on its odometer.

The interior is typical GM plastic and mouse fur, and it appears to be holding up reasonably well. The driver’s side door panel could use some help, and I bet there are more surprises that aren’t shown, but who cares?

It looks pretty good outside, but I’m not fond of the black-painted wheels. I still don’t understand that fashion. I do like the brush guard on the front, though. And I really dig those little triangular flip-out vent windows.

I know a direct comparison is difficult between these two, but just think of them as toys: Would you rather play with an incredibly rare and cool-looking camper van, or a not-quite-as-rare off-road SUV?

(Image credits: sellers)