I think we’ve established quite well that I enjoy, perhaps with a mild and unashamed perversity, automotive brochure images that show trunks and cargo areas packed, often tightly and intensely. You’re not here to judge, remember. There’s a lot of creativity in these depictions of well-crammed cars, especially for the automakers that don’t rely on tidy sets of matching luggage. This 1978 Saab 99 brochure is a great example of that; just look at all the crap they have crammed back there! It’s amazing! Well, amazing and maybe a little baffling once you start looking at the stuff, which leads you to wonder just where the hell these people are going, and just what the hell are they planning to do when they get there?
Here’s let’s take a closer look at what’s in the back of that Saab. Computer! ZOOM and ENHANCE!
Okay, let’s try to do some inventorying here. What do we have: a watering can, some hose or perhaps electrical cable in a large coil, a television set, a couple of oars, I think a ladder, something with at least one wheel and a handle – is that a manual, engine-less lawnmower? There’s a tartan bag that could be a wheeled golf bag, but I see no clubs; there’s a plant, some sort of red cylindrical shiny thing, something that I think is a shelf? Then there’s, of course, a huge bird cage, with bird cages being oddly popular for this sort of thing. There’s what I think is an ornate lampshade, and possibly a lamp back there, a large orange-striped duffel-sort of bag, a long, light-wood something that could be furniture or maybe a sled, another light wood thing that could be a shelf or stand? There’s a white something that could be a colossal marshmallow or a life preserver, and a staff with a ring on top whose purpose I can’t even guess at. Blowing bubbles? Winding something up?
So, what’s the common thread here? What would you do with all this stuff? Should I be concerned? Is there a bird in there?
The more stuff people cram into a car, the less they want to talk about. Hoarding.
“We are dropping this shit off at Goodwill”…And “no! the chainsaw is also going in the bin! now STFU!”….
I had a friend with a 99 and was always amazed at how well it handled given the huge rear opening and cavern. Somehow it was rigid enough even with that. Or perhaps our expectations were just so much lower in those days.
On a side note, Jason, were you one of those kids that coveted the x-ray specs advertised on the back of comic books?
Reminds me of this
If it’s like when my family drove went on a roadtrip in ours (which was traffic cone orange, not brown) they’re off to sit on the side of the NY thruway with a frozen transmission, waiting hours for a towtruck, while the road repair (replacement?) crew creeps ever closer. Then, once the road crew pushes the car a quarter mile up so they can continue paving, and the towtruck finally shows up, they’ll go home and catch their older siblings throwing a party in the house that was supposed to be parent-less all weekend.
Alternately, they aren’t leaving the driveway because someone (possibly me) jumped on the bumper too much and tripped the fuel pump safety switch.
I’ll have to ask my mom about the bird cage. I don’t think we ever had ours in there.
Not a single Puffalump in sight. SMH.
Headed off to their summer cabin by the lake
The answer is clearly that they’re hoarders, bringing home yet more useless crap to stuff into their already overstuffed garage.
“There’s a tartan bag that could be a wheeled golf bag, but I see no clubs;”
It’s a shopping trolley. Old people use them to drag groceries back from the corner shop. My grandmother and all her friends used them, in that exact shade of tartan.
Yes and in Sweden they are called “dramaten” as in pull food, but the fun thing is that the royal Dramatic theatre is also called Dramaten.
You could fit a small child in that cage. That’s the way our parents transported me and my siblings.
Did you have a cage each or just taking turns to be in the one cage?
We used to fight over who got to ride in the trunk when we were kids. Sitting on an actual seat didn’t seem special. Either that or my parents were amazing at reverse psychology.
It started off with me, the oldest, in a single occupant cage, but morphed to more of an oversized crab trap for all of us as the family grew.
Coffee spit. Take your star.
My Dad’s 96 could hold 4 boys easy. It was a different time, and world.
My Dad just made us ride in the trunk.
You’re lucky. My mom had us just grip the roof rack.
After disposing of grandma’s body and taking all the valuables from her cottage in the woods, Annika & Sven knew that the neighbors wouldn’t suspect anything until the lawn was knee high at least.
By then, her life savings will have been withdrawn from the bank in Helsingborg, the birdcage will be for sale in an antique store in Stockholm, and the proceeds will be finding a new life in the Caribbean. They would be sad to leave their Saab behind, but apart from that it was the perfect murder.
Is there some kind of “smart” SAAB ventilation system, sucking exhaust gasses into the cabin? Otherwise strange with the bird cage, since it’s neither air cooled or rear engined (canary in coal mine)..
They’re probably going to the sommarstuga (vacation house) with all their crap. And look, it’s mamma driving, just SO swedish!
Besides from that I’m really torn between getting an old 900 with the many windows like this one, because it looks cool, or a “regular” four door because it has a nicer outer shape
Whoopsidoops! I did it again with the capitalisation of Saab. Sorry.
Maybe scored big at a garage sale?
paddles, not oars, and the orange “duffel” is the bag for an inflatable canoe or raft. got me on the other stuff?
“…cages being oddly popular for this sort of thing.”
I don’t know that it’s all that odd. My ’67 96 also has a cage in it:
https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49807021768_92a0112593_z.jpg
It’s a major award!
Swedish orgies are weird.
It’s not really an orgy until someone brings a CRT television.
I think they’re saying it’s the perfect vehicle when you move and you were a little off on your guess of how big of a truck you needed to rent.
My 900 (obviously similar in form factor) was often packed solid like this moving back and forth from college. Can’t say a giant bird cage was ever involved though.
Everything you need to bring with you for spending 4 weeks of your vacation in your summerhouse out at the coast or at some of our uncountable lakes in the middle of the forrest.
“Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër? See the løveli lakes. The wøndërful telephøne system. And mäni interesting furry animals.”
Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti…
Mei syister waas biiten by en moose
When I moved from Michigan to Oregon I packed a Honda Fit full of clothes, a tv, desktop PC, boxes of books and dvds, a Japanese futon set including tatami mats (they are great for your back and fold away nicely for smaller living spaces, also easy to clean and air out. Highly recommended), and several mid sized fans. I used to think that was impressive, but this Saab owned by a compulsive estate sale deal shopper has me beat.
I bought a futon when I was in school, and my 87 Integra hatchback swallowed it up with the hatch open only a little bit. Hatchbacks are awesome.
I came here to post that this looks like our Fit when we take our annual 3 week vacation.
Looks like Granny is moving herself and Tweety into her new young beau’s apartment.
You missed the final clue, right there under the watering can. That’s some kind of radio, which will be the driver’s only connection to civilization after he paddles out to the island in the middle of the water hazard on the golf course to begin a new life with his pet osprey, Ophelia.
For that matter it’s a damn shame there was no wagon version of the 99/900 series.
You didn’t really need one – the standard hatch could haul a huge amount of stuff.
Just what they bought at IKEA?